41

Arrived in my room, I let the pain run free. I watched in the mirror as the tears found their way down my cheeks, and moments later the sound of their impact on the porcelain sink reached my ears. The Melody of Surrender.

Cold eyes met my gaze, and although the pain assured me that my love for Aleks was real, I decided to give it up. There was no point in holding on to a feeling that would continue to destroy me.

While my sobs slowly got quieter, I heard Nero's words again. Wolves couldn't love, he had wanted to tell me, no matter how hard they tried, he preached. How could it happen to me that I decided in a very short time to sacrifice my life for this one person. Why was his happiness and that of his sister more important to me than my own. What should these feelings represent if love wasn't behind it. How do you recognize love when you've never experienced it, never felt connected to it, it only brought you pain. Love was only real when it hurt...

Overwhelmed by the many questions, I closed my eyes and swore to myself that I would leave everything behind. They were reunited now, and that was all that mattered. I would face whatever the moon goddess had in store for me, no matter how far her cruelty towards me went.

When my eyes opened again, I gave my reflection a determined nod, ready to start over, wiping away the last of my tears, along with the suffering and pain that would always remain a part of me despite everything.

"You're doing the right thing. I feel your pain, and even though I can't feel it, you have my deepest sympathy." Saphir surprised me with her words. Always provocative, intent on her own needs, she developed compassion for something that stood in the way of her perfect happiness with Damien's connection. She was probably just being kind enough because she knew I had to give myself to him, no matter how much I resisted.

Exhausted, I turned off the light in the bathroom, walked over to the window and looked at the dark clouds that looked like they were reflecting my insides. An annoying knocking forced me to focus my eyes on the door, which slowly opened and gave me a glimpse of the handsome prince.

"I just wanted to help you pack your things," he informed me quietly, walking to the center of the room, eyes on my closet. Confused about his statement, I also stared at the closet for a moment and then looked questioningly into his brown eyes. "What do you mean packing things?"

A mischievous smile tugged at his beautiful lips as he took a few cautious steps toward me, making my stomach sink. "You don't think we sleep separately, do you?" he laughed, shaking his head in amusement. How could he take it all so lightly? Camilla's smell was still on his white turtleneck and he didn't even seem to mourn about it.

"Yes, and that will be the case." A low growl escaped me, meant to be genuinely menacing but only made him grin even more. "I won't bite," he took my hands and kissed each one softly, sending goosebumps down my arms. I quickly pulled my hands back and wanted to take a few steps backwards, but I was already standing with my back to the window.

His eyes sparkled as he looked me up and down like his new toy. He didn't leave an inch of space between our bodies and that elicited a small whimper from me, which immediately made my eyes widen in shock. He curled his lip in amusement, aware of what he could trigger in me, and clearly enjoying using our connection against me. "So then let's get started." He grinned, finally giving me room to breathe.

While he put a suitcase on the bed and placed everything from the closet in it, I still stood there, shocked by his effect on me, and stared into space without really noticing anything. Inside, my body shook, screaming for his touch, submitting. Outwardly there was only a shell that was still trying to defend itself, but knew for a long time that it wouldn't make it.

"Everything okay?" he made me wince when he suddenly stood very close to me again and carefully pushed my hair behind my ear. Sapphire purred at his touch and clung tighter to my mind, digging deep inside. But I shrug it off and knocked his hand away, walking past him and standing in the doorway. "You're carrying the suitcase!" I snapped at him, arms crossed. He winked at me with a smile and came towards me with the suitcase. "Of course Princess." He breathed in my ear and walked past me. Rolling my eyes, I followed him down the long hallway and found myself staring at his butt, lost in thought. Annoyed by my behavior I snorted and then just concentrated on my feet.

***

"Which side do you prefer?" he asked me, nodding toward his large four-poster bed, which was covered with black linens and a few decorative little red pillows. "You're sleeping on the floor anyway. So why do you care?" I asked him provocatively and then looked curiously at the rest of the room without noticing his reaction to my words.

It was only a little bigger than my old room, but the two large windows made it seem brighter, somehow friendlier, which didn't quite suit him. Opposite the bed was a swanky white wardrobe, the front of which consisted of two mirrored doors that you could see yourself in from the bed. The thought that came to me then turned my cheeks red and I quickly threw the notion that he and Camilla might have seen each other having sex out of my head, still concentrating on the small shelf full of china figurines in disgust. They resembled the figures I had caught a glimpse of in Nero's office.

I carefully took one in my hand and examined it with interest. It was an owl, smiling with its eyes closed. "My mother used to collect things like that," he confessed and slowly stepped next to me to pick up a figurine as well. I didn't want to ask him anything about his mother. It would have seemed intrusive, given the circumstances, that we were just getting to know each other and it was none of my business anyway.

I glanced over at him as he put the figurine back in place, breathing heavily. At that moment he seemed very hurt and I would have liked to take his worries away, but I didn't have the courage to do so. Also, I wanted to keep him at a distance for now, I wasn't ready to get close to him yet. Neither physically nor mentally. Of course, Saphir laughed out loud at my thought, and I knew why. We had already kissed twice and I was thinking about distance. Shaking my head, I put the owl back and turned to a door that would probably lead to the bathroom.

Walking over to the door, I caught a glimpse of Damien, who was now sitting thoughtfully on the edge of his bed, looking out the window at the forest, which was the only view from here. I didn't mean to feel sorry or interested, but it came without asking my permission first, so instead of walking to the door, I hesitantly walked towards him and sat down next to him.

I couldn't find the words. How could you be there for someone you couldn't judge at all, didn't know anything about except what they let you see. Still staring out the window, I felt him take my hand tightly in his. I looked at our hands together on my lap in confusion, feeling a sense of sadness and pain that I couldn't place. I knew that mates could relate to each other's feelings, though, and I caught my breath for a moment.

His feelings were more like mine than I ever expected. He wasn't the arrogant prince who didn't care. His cunning, his arrogance, all just a wall that no one should climb. But I could, and witnessed his broken soul, his pain. I just didn't know why, and no matter how curious I was to know what was making him suffer, it was up to him when he would open up to me. "I have to do something." He snatched his hand from me and hurried out of the room without looking at me. I turned around and looked after him in confusion, not knowing what to feel or think anymore.

I collapsed into bed, completely confused, and sucked in his scent that hung in the air throughout the room. He calmed me down a bit. That was the only good thing about our connection. Its scent managed to banish the evil spirits in my head, giving me a brief sense of security that immediately took over everything in my body and drove away the pain that was constantly nagging at me.

I opened my heavy lids with difficulty, but could hardly see anything and squinted my eyes open and shut several times to get used to the darkness.

I must have slept through the day, because outside there was only the moon and the stars, while in front of me on the nightstand a small lamp gave just enough light to outline the furniture.

Without half asleep thinking about where I am, I rolled onto my other side and felt a faint breathing right in front of me. Startled, my heart was in my throat and I suddenly looked straight into his brown eyes, which were watching me curiously. "Did you sleep well?" he gently stroked my black hair and then let his hand rest on my cheek. It was warm and slowly calming my heartbeat again.

I didn't want to answer him. I didn't want to think at all either. Neither about him, nor about me, and certainly not about feelings or anything else that would cause me head chaos again. In that moment I just wanted the security that only he could give me, like it was my drug to get away from the world.

I carefully slid a little closer to him, buried my face in his chest and wrapped my arm around him, resting my hand on his back. I heard his heart right next to my ear, suddenly beating faster, more intensely, like it was dancing with joy. A beautiful rhythm that sucked me in, made me forget everything, even if only for a short time. He hugged me back and pulled me closer with one arm while the other was under my head and used as a pillow.

I couldn't sleep anymore, but I didn't want to stay awake either, so I just lay there. A state between dream and reality, in the arms of a man who seemed strange and familiar at the same time.

Inwardly I would have liked to slap myself, just to give him the feeling that I needed him, but I didn't want to give up the warmth he gave me at that moment, it was too good for me, even if I suddenly didn't recognized more. Without the pain, I was a completely different woman, and despite his tight embrace, I felt freer than ever.

It was the connection, I was fully aware of that. She had the magical ability to make you feel what you longed for most. That's why it was only a matter of time before he would take me completely, would rob me of my mind with the way he affected me.

Sapphire's happy purr, our hearts pounding in unison, his breathing on my hair, his hand on my back. It all encased me completely. My senses were numb from the moment that was burned into my mind forever. I would be his, because everything about him seemed like a drug to me, taking you completely away from reality, into that veil that made you believe that pure happiness could only be found with him, in my mate.

Some time passed before he pulled away from me and took my chin in his hand to look me seriously in the eyes. "Aiden's back. Emma's free-" he whispered, taking a deep breath, his gaze shifting to my shoulder. "Shall we go through with it then?"

I looked at him in bewilderment. The anger that was building up in me drove away everything good and beautiful that I had felt before. I slapped away his hand still gripping my chin and sat up without taking my angry glare off his stupid face. "You want to make a commitment for life and can't think of anything better than 》let's go for it《?" I mimicked him, waiting for his reply, ready to jump for his throat. "I didn't mean it that way, Melody. Don't be so dramatic. It's just routine." He took my hand and glared at me with a smile.

"Just routine? You have absolutely no idea!" I hissed at him, getting up to go to the window and open it. I had the feeling that there wasn't enough oxygen in this room to stimulate his brain, otherwise I couldn't explain his stupidity. Worst of all, I knew he wasn't stupid, he was just emotionless, which only made it all the more awful. Better a fool who loves you than a smart man who doesn't know love.

My thoughts circled around him sitting behind me, staring a hole in my back as I took a deep breath of the cool air of the night and watched the moon make this darkness seem a little lighter.

"You know what. I don't have to be considerate of you anyway-" he growled at me as he got out of bed. "If you don't do it voluntarily, I'll just take what's due to me!" He slammed the door and left me alone, so not completely alone, because Spahir roared again without a period and comma as I could only reject her Damien again. I was really starting to feel like the last werewolf who still believed in romance.

I turned to the bed in annoyance and felt like I missed him, which made me so angry that I went to the closet and started ripping his clothes like I could destroy his attraction. As if I could use it to neutralize his smell. As if I could escape him and this world with it. A stupid outburst of desperation.

The first rays of sun slowly illuminated the room, showing it in a new light that made me look quite bitter.

I sat angry on a pyre, didn't leave him a single piece of clothing whole. All scraps that arose from anger against him that could not be contained.

"You should calm down!" Saphir advised me, and it was really ironic that the one werewolf who was actually full of rage told me. "And you should shut up," I replied sourly, which also silenced her.

Before I could get up and freshen up, Damien came back into the room, took slow steps towards me and then stopped in astonishment. He looked back and forth, constantly between me and the pile of clothes I was sitting on, and then slowly sat down to offer me his hand silently.

His reaction completely confused me. I felt guilty but also relieved, like I could have vented some of my anger. I glanced over at him as he sat right next to me, met my gaze and gave me a small smile I couldn't interpret. Either he wanted to comfort me with it, to take away my shame, or he thought I was crazy and was afraid I would tear him apart in a moment.

Whatever it meant, he gave me an encouraging feeling and I took his hand to make me feel a little better. He squeezed her tightly, wrapping his other hand around mine as well, as if to protect her.

"I'm sorry. I don't know how to deal with you, or rather with this situation. I've been waiting for you for so long, had already given up hope, and then I don't find you anywhere in a pub and I've been completely overwhelmed ever since. " As he spoke, all my attention was on his face, which was flawlessly beautiful. Especially his brown eyes, which sparkled like stars and made me butterflies in my stomach. I could barely focus on his words until I pulled away from his eyes and looked down at our hands. "I'm sorry about your clothes," I whispered in embarrassment, turning my head to the other side. It was not easy for me to admit mistakes. Especially not in front of someone who had hurt me before. "Come up," he suddenly stood up, without letting go of my hand and carefully pulled me to my feet. "I have so many clothes. The main thing is that you feel better now."

He was right in front of me. His black hair fell sideways across his face, while his smile drew a smile from me too, reassuring me he wasn't going to rip my head off for my action. "I'm really feeling better." I smiled at him. My heart skipped a beat, as it always did when he was so close to me, as it always did when he looked at me so intensely. "Let's go eat something okay? You must have used up all your strength."

His laugh sounded wonderful, even if there was a small provocation in it that wanted to challenge me. "I still have a little strength.", I snatched my hands from him to claw at both sides of his black sweater. I really enjoyed playing with him. A balanced power struggle that was never possible with Calvin. I always lost with him because he never accepted defeat. "I want to play too!" sapphire giggled, and for a moment it felt like everything was in harmony, everything was connected. A puzzle whose pieces gradually found each other. I forgot his rowdy behavior, his ignorance when it came to women, and resolved to really give him a chance, provided he gave me time.

"Please let me have at least this one sweater." Grinning, he grabbed my hands and pulled me out into the hallway to dance with me to breakfast. "I didn't know you could be compassionate, too." I looked over at him and saw his sweet smile again. "Actually, I'm not. I'll only make an exception for you, otherwise I'll soon have to strut around the castle naked." A wink from him and I rolled my eyes again. He really knew how to turn heads, at least that's how it was for me.

As if one were rewinding each day and reliving it from the beginning, Nero stood at the head of the table like every morning and gave us a warm welcome. Today, for the first time, his exaggerated beaming seemed honest to me, as if he had taken off part of his mask. "Good morning. I'm glad to see you together.", he nodded to us and sat down on his usual chair.

Damien pulled out a chair for me and then sat down next to me, giving me another playful wink. Aiden also joined us and I was curious to know how things went with Emma. "How did it go?" I looked at him excitedly, but he immediately avoided my gaze and ignored my question. When I then looked over at Nero, he only glanced at me and faked a smile that seemed more fake than his entire existence. "What's going on here?" My voice grew louder, prompting her to answer. But the two only concentrate on their food, not even bothering to look up. "It's alright," Damien said, also avoiding my gaze. A bad feeling spread through me and drove me crazy. I would have loved to grab all three and shake them, but what use would it have been.

"Don't worry about Emma. She's fine, I promise." Aiden finally eased the tension that was gripping me, and I began to eat, reassured. It didn't escape me, however, that the three of them threw silent looks at each other.