veinte-otso

I immediately shake my head, want to turn around and finally have the strength to run away. But even as I whirl around, the door is already being closed. And all I can do is make a choked sound. Then something dies in me. At this very moment. I feel it. It's as if Xerxes is snatching something from me. Something that robs me of all resistance. So I just look at the wood. How the thick door contains nothing but small grooves. But these are not natural. Rather, it looks as if someone has scratched it and the fingernails have torn some of the wood with them. As if someone here fought for their life to be able to escape this room. Will I be doing something like this in a few hours? The smell of death creeps into my nostrils. It smells stuffy in here. After sweat and old blood. I look at Xerxes with a transfigured look. Again no emotion can be seen in him.

He just looks down at me. I can't even begin to say how long we've been standing there like this. It could be seconds, but also minutes. Time is no longer interesting. But however long it's been. The presence of the iron maiden grows. Even though I can't see this behemoth, just knowing that it's there is enough. Still, the silly little girl in me thinks maybe Xerxes doesn't want to put me in there. It could be a threat. A show of everything he owns and that I should be very careful about what I say and do. That could be. Still, I curse myself for still believing in the good in him. That he doesn't want to destroy me. Finally he told me that he wants to kill people. So why do I still think that he doesn't want to hurt me? And as if to punish me for that thought, he smiles arrogantly. "You know, there are exactly two things I really dislike." As he does so, he pulls a key out of his pocket and the jingling takes over the room. It's a perfectly normal noise. Nothing that should cause panic. But that triggers it in me. My heart is pounding painfully in my chest and again I feel like I'm choking. As if my body is refusing me to take in oxygen. But pulling out keys just means I'm about to be locked in. It might It could be that only this room is locked, but it could also be about the virgin, that I shouldn't even remotely be able to get out of there. he smiles arrogantly. "You know, there are exactly two things I really dislike." As he does so, he pulls a key out of his pocket and the jingling takes over the room. It's a perfectly normal noise. Nothing that should cause panic. But that triggers it in me. My heart is pounding painfully in my chest and again I feel like I'm choking. As if my body is refusing me to take in oxygen. But pulling out keys just means I'm about to be locked in. It might It could be that only this room is locked, but it could also be about the virgin, that I shouldn't even remotely be able to get out of there. he smiles arrogantly. "You know, there are exactly two things I really dislike." As he does so, he pulls a key out of his pocket and the jingling takes over the room. It's a perfectly normal noise. Nothing that should cause panic. But that triggers it in me. My heart is pounding painfully in my chest and again I feel like I'm choking. As if my body is refusing me to take in oxygen. But pulling out keys just means I'm about to be locked in. It might It could be that only this room is locked, but it could also be about the virgin, that I shouldn't even remotely be able to get out of there. He takes a key out of his pocket and the tinkling takes up the space. It's a perfectly normal noise. Nothing to cause panic. But that triggers it for me. My heart is pounding painfully in my chest and I feel like I'm choking again. As if my body refuses to take in oxygen. But pulling out keys just means I'm about to be locked up. It could be that only this room is locked, but it could also be about the Virgin. That I shouldn't even remotely get the chance to get out of there. He takes a key out of his pocket and the tinkling takes up the space. It's a perfectly normal noise. Nothing to cause panic. But that triggers it for me. My heart is pounding painfully in my chest and I feel like I'm choking again. As if my body refuses to take in oxygen. But pulling out keys just means I'm about to be locked up. It could be that only this room is locked, but it could also be about the Virgin. That I shouldn't even remotely get the chance to get out of there. to suffocate. As if my body refuses to take in oxygen. But pulling out keys just means I'm about to be locked up. It could be that only this room is locked, but it could also be about the Virgin. That I shouldn't even remotely get the chance to get out of there. to suffocate. As if my body refuses to take in oxygen. But pulling out keys just means I'm about to be locked up. It could be that only this room is locked, but it could also be about the Virgin. That I shouldn't even remotely get the chance to get out of there.

Xerxes glances at the key in his hand, then looks back at me. "That includes lying and breaking my rules." Now he turns to the door and puts the key in the hole provided. There's a click. Mixes with my heavy breathing. "And you did both today." He turns back to me and I can't help but shake my head. I wasn't lying and the second one I can't even begin to tell what he means. And again he radiates such calm. It is paradoxical that we are in a torture chamber, and it seems as if we are having a conversation while taking a leisurely stroll. There is no trembling of the fingers. No rapid rise and fall of the chest. Nothing showing excitement.

"I don't know what you mean," I whisper and can only look up at him pleadingly. That's what he wanted the whole time. To see me lying on the ground. And he can have that. I give him the desperation, take the pain Purchase. All of this is fine with me. I just don't want to be alone in the blackness. Not surrounded by nails. And again I look around in a panic. Can't help but scan my surroundings.

Xerxes clicks his tongue and puts two fingers under my chin, pushing it up so I have to make eye contact with him.

"The fact that you don't know what I mean only makes it worse," he whispers softly, leaning down slightly towards me. This only makes the green in his eyes lighter and this time I seem to see the madness shining in them. " I'm the king and you dare call me first?" The voice is calm. monotonous. And yet there is anger. I don't know how he does it, but it's clear that this fact bothers him. And I can't reply to that. I can only look at him with wide eyes. After all, he's right. I didn't follow his rules.

"I'm sorry." Immediately, my bottom lip starts to tremble and tears are again blurring my vision, causing me to blink hard. God, I need to see if that's enough of an apology for him. But what I'm seeing doesn't suggest it is Rather the opposite is the case, Xerxes just snorts in disgust and then lets go of me.

"Yes, you will be sorry." And before the content of the words can make it through the morass in my head, he grabs my neck and wants to turn me around. And with that I fight back a bit. But I'm not given much leeway. The hook is still inserted anally, rubbing painfully over my much too sensitive inner walls and I whimper softly.

"Please," I choke out while he forces me to turn around. And again I see the huge iron box. Whether it's supposed to look like a woman from the outside I can't tell. After all, the iron maiden is open .Leaves enough room for me to climb into the hollow body.But that's exactly what allows me to peek inside.Recognize the nails set into the coat.That's about to dig into my skin.And it doesn't matter if it Imagination or not, I think I can even see the red on the tips, all the blood that has already been caused by this sharp metal.

So I try my luck again. "Please, Your Majesty." In fact, Xerxes pauses. It's hardly worth mentioning. More like a brief pause before he pushes me further forward. I'd like to resist his grip I am. But it's not possible for me. My legs are shaking. They don't listen to me anymore and so even the few centimeters further into the room are exhausting for me. I buckle and only have Xerxes to thank for it, no fall over

"Save that," he says, bored, digging his fingers deeper into the back of my neck. I yelp, still wanting to find energy somewhere inside of me. God, it can't be that I can't even now to fight back. I look closely at the torture device. At the darkness that wants to pull me towards it. But even that doesn't wake me up. I'm just too weak - just like my mother was.

And so I can only watch with wide eyes as we get closer to the iron maiden. It's funny, but not a tear rolls down my cheek. Not a salty drop tells you how I'm feeling right now. It is not an inner powerlessness that fills me. No paralysis. No, there's a fucking tornado inside me taking everything with it. Panic, despair and helplessness eat me up. Let my body only serve as a shell. I don't seem able to show my emotions anymore. And so my view is not veiled. No glorification of the environment. I perceive everything exactly.

Then I would shut myself down and never open up about that again. So I keep quiet. I hear Xerxes breath on the back of my head. The way he brushes his beard through my hair and waits for me to say something. Then he takes a deep breath.

Takes me from the outside and slowly reaches my heart. A shiver runs over me. Makes me tremble and makes it even harder to stay on my feet. Xerxes grabs my hair and pulls my head back hard. I scream again. But the shrill sound is stifled when Xerxes gives another powerful tug. The skin on my neck is tense and my breathing only sounds rustling.

"You have two options." He approaches me and thus enters my field of vision. Can look down into my pain-contorted face. "Either you go in alone, then you can position yourself well, or I'll do it and the door will open struck without regard for losses." Xerxes prefers the second variant. It's clearly written on his face. The green really lights up as he lists that possibility. And I'm starting to realize that he's a really cruel man. He would push me in there just because he doesn't want to admit that he's not alone. Because he doesn't consider that anyone else knows this inner torment. Solitude in this regard is preferred. How different people can be. I would give everything

Very slowly, Xerxes releases his grip on my hair. The tugging on my scalp fades until it's just a memory. He wants me to choose. I should go inside. A single step would be necessary. The smell of metal is already enveloping me, I am so close to the iron maiden. But I can not. It feels like I'm signing my death warrant with it. A kind of suicide without being one. I close my eyes and want to be back in my hut. Conjure up my suicide attempt. Let helplessness take me. How this drove me to take the knife. I can literally feel the cold iron in my hand. But there is a difference from back then. I don't want anything to die. Somewhere deep inside me there's something that's not ready to give up. And the paradox is that I hate that part of me. No matter how small it is. He will make me suffer pain. Again, I am making my situation worse myself. Just like Zaret told me. My stubborn nature makes those around me tougher. coarse. And this knowledge now ensures that a tear steals from my eye. silent. As loud as it is inside me, not even a soft sniffle gives information about what is happening to me. And so my soul keeps being torn while no one sees. Nobody cares. The tear slowly makes its way down my cheek. centimeter by centimetre. And when the salty drop hits my jawline Xerxes lets out an annoyed sound and pushes me into the iron maiden. A strong jolt goes through my body. I stumble forward. Straight into the nails. And while hundreds of metal spikes pierce my skin, the door is slammed shut. Closes with a dull sound. Then there is only the darkness and me.

I gasp immediately. My own pain-soaked sound sounds heavy in the hollow body. But that's not important. But the rising panic. I am alone. I can not see anything. Just feel the peaks in my skin. How blood is already making its way across my skin. But I was able to catch myself with my forearms. True, these are now pierced by cold iron, but it is better than my face or chest. I slowly want to withdraw a little. Getting the nails out of my flesh. But I find it difficult. Fear wants to make me rage. I want to hit the walls. Make panic movements. All of this is not granted to me. I can only move a centimeter backwards, then there is scraping iron on my back. Like a threat, this scratches my skin.

And that makes me sob. It's a sob, making my chest heave violently. Which drives the nails deeper into my forearms again. And now I howl. Loud my tone echoes in the blackness. Contains despair. But nobody answers. Is Xerxes still here? Or am I completely alone?

that I don't feel like freezing to death. The drops slowly make their way over my body. Traveling from my elbow to my upper body to travel down my pelvis from there. But that's not important to me. The blackness bothers me. Suddenly I'm afraid that she will pull me towards her and never let me go again. It doesn't matter if Xerxes gets me out of here. With every breath I seem to take in more darkness. I feel it. Something is brewing inside me. Something I just can't handle anymore. that she pulls me towards her and never lets go. It doesn't matter if Xerxes gets me out of here. With every breath I seem to take in more darkness. I feel it. Something is brewing inside me. Something I just can't handle anymore. that she pulls me towards her and never lets go. It doesn't matter if Xerxes gets me out of here. With every breath I seem to take in more darkness. I feel it. Something is brewing inside me. Something I just can't handle anymore.

And since this is worse than any physical pain, I press my back against the tips of the nails. Very carefully, I push myself a little backwards. Feel my skin tighten under the metal. But I want to free my arms. For the first time, it suits me to be malnourished. So I have more leeway. Every little flab would make the movement difficult. make me suffer even more Still, it's not enough to escape the nails. I would have to rip open my forearms completely. Pull the flesh off my bones myself.

My body already seems to want to defend itself against the foreign bodies. There's a pain that's growing stronger by the second. That makes me tremble and thus ensures that my skin continues to tear. Every other common response of helplessness and abuse only makes it worse. I clench my teeth as I move back a little more. Allow my back to be pierced now too. The pressed sound is dull. Lost in a whimper. And again I can't help shaking. God, the nails are not deep in my skin and yet I am in endless pain. It should just stop. I just want a normal life. Just as it is granted to other people. As it should be. But instead of sitting at home and knitting a blanket, I'm surrounded by nails Can't help this miserable desperation. I would like to scream. Just let it all out. Nobody would even hear it. Nobody would care. That increases fear. Very slowly it takes me and I want to control my breathing. I know such situations. Know what helps. But not here. Not now. My body wants to take care of itself. Relieve the pressure inside. I'm losing control But not here. Not now. My body wants to take care of itself. Relieve the pressure inside. I'm losing control But not here. Not now. My body wants to take care of itself. Relieve the pressure inside. I'm losing control

And just as I open my mouth to somehow vent my panic, the iron maiden's door opens. Suddenly my support on my back is gone. And so I fall. Have no strength to catch me and hit the stone paved ground hard. Pain hits me immediately. The impact robs me of oxygen and I feel dizzy. Still, I can't help but happily sob. There is brightness. Be it just a few flickering torches. It's no longer dark around me. I cough heavily as I roll onto my stomach. Just having my arms touch the ground is enough to cause a pull that eats up to my shoulders. I do not care. And while I cough and tremble, Xerxes squats down. Look at me and even though my vision is blurry I see the condescending smirk on his face. "Kalota, this is just the beginning." He strokes my hair and as tender as this gesture is, it pushes me further into helplessness. He can't send me back in there. I'm sure I was only a few minutes in the iron maiden and yet that was enough to awaken my mother. She is inside me and whispers to me in her monotonous voice that I will soon become like her. That she is happy to receive me in the darkness. Like a My mother's memory runs through me with shadows. Eating into my brain and causing me to die little by little. And yet incessantly. And with the thought, the face of Xerxes turns into that of my mother. But it doesn't look human. Rather distorted. Like a demon ready to take me to hell. And that will be Xerxes. He will drag me into his personal purgatory and never release me again. Just like my mother once did.