Lost Chapter of Ten II

A scream between anger and pain whips through the air. Zaret lets go of me immediately and grabs the knife. The blade is in his flesh. Not deep. But still efficient. All of his attention is now on the knife and not on me. And that's exactly what I use. He is still kneeling in front of me. wedge me in And so I see only one possibility. I have to make him fall. I lunge forward and throw myself against him with all my body weight. A dull sound sounds. The impact makes me gasp and for a moment I believe he won't fall over. But then Zaret falls over and lands hard on the ground. The wood creaks loudly under both of our weights.

And again, his focus is not on me but on his wounds. I can't tell which one exactly and I don't really care. I have to get out of here. I quickly crawl over him. He groans in pain, and that sound shows that he's really struggling with his injuries. This isn't acting. But that's not important either. The words just said are still too present for that. I push myself up quickly when I'm finally past Zaret. But it's so hard for me. My muscles are tense. Ready to give everything and defy everyone. And yet the quake does not let up. It prevents proper action. Every movement seems so unnatural. And even if no corset prevents me from breathing, the dress is enough to slow me down. This gets tangled between my legs and before I can even get up, I fall again. But I can catch myself with my hands. And this time, the size of my room is an advantage. Even though I've barely made any progress, I've already made it halfway. And there it is again: hope. I clench my teeth and get back up. My butt is on fire. My shame cries out. I ignore it, push myself off the ground. And this time it works. I look back immediately and it freezes my blood in my veins. I'm not the only one standing, also Zaret.

And when our eyes meet, a smile creeps onto his lips. And that's what keeps me going. He mustn't catch me. Then I die. I am sure of that. I am aware that he is faster than me. But he's hurt. Many more wounds adorn bodies. That could be my advantage. And this time the adrenaline seems to be helping me. My steps echo heavily in the room and I reach for the handle. she is cold Icy. Shows what temperatures await me outside. I don't care I immediately push them down and as I open the door a crack, something heavy hits my back.

That immediately squeezes the oxygen out of my lungs. I feel like my spine is about to snap under the weight and as the door slams shut again, I know what's crushing me. Zaret. He copied me. Bounced against me and makes me feel such searing pain. I can't even scream. The only thing that sounds is a choked sound. Zaret presses even closer to me and I gasp for air. Nevertheless, I gather new strength to stand up. But before I can even lift a finger, he grabs my hair, pulls me back, and slams my head against the door. And with that come the stars. They cross my field of vision and I moan softly. Dizziness fills me and yet I'm not ready to give up. I will fight. He should see that I don't let everything be done with me. And so, despite the dizziness, I brace myself against the door and somehow try to force him to give me some space. Zaret seems to notice my efforts. He growls in annoyance and before I can interpret the sound, I'm spun around. With full force he pulls me backwards.

And even though he's injured, Zaret is strong. Damn strong. After all, he works in a mine shaft. He is used to handling heavy, unwieldy things. That gives him an advantage. And me a damn big disadvantage.

The force expended makes me howl. It feels like all my hair is just being ripped out. Pain. Searing pain fills me, eating into my brain and making me forget how walking works for a moment so, I can't balance the movement. Can't even try I fall to the ground like a wet sack. And again, the dizziness takes hold of me. But what is even greater is the fear of Zaret. What he has planned with me - what he intends to do. I turn on my back and at least want to look at him. And I expect everything. That he storms towards me with a grimace of anger, that he wants to ram the knife straight into my heart. But nothing like that. He just stands there and breathes heavily. He looks done. Sweat is on his skin and the clothes are more tattered on his body than they really serve their purpose, the posture is bent. Zaret isn't the tallest man, but what he lacks in stature he makes up for in physique. The muscles protrude hard from the skin. And while he's not a muscle man, everyone can see that this man is basically all muscle. And despite all these facts, he seems vulnerable to me at this very moment. that this man is basically all muscle. And despite all these facts, he seems vulnerable to me at this very moment. that this man is basically all muscle. And despite all these facts, he seems vulnerable to me at this very moment.

Until our eyes meet. Immediately the hatred of him seems to eat into me and at that very moment I know I'm going to die. He'll never let me live after I stick a knife in his arm. He takes a step toward me and I immediately back up. I would like to get up, but even leaning on my elbows seems impossible at this moment. And I can't even say why that is. Is it the aggressiveness that has completely taken over this room or is it because I just can't take it anymore? That this time my spirit doesn't give up, but this time my body refuses to serve me?

"Beg me to spare you." Again there's that calm in what's being said. But this time it doesn't sound preachy. No. It seems like the calm before the storm. Quiet and yet incredibly dangerous. But I won't beg "Never. I just make a contemptuous face and suddenly I notice the metallic taste. And something warm runs down my temple too.

"I told you to beg me," Zaret barks, and I wince at the words. There's the storm. It's visible in his eyes. I want to sit up, at least a little, and while leaning on her elbows, see I the knife. It's still in his arm. Zaret also seems to notice my gaze and looks at it. And that brings out another animal growl.

And whatever the reason he didn't remove it sooner seems to be moot now. He immediately grabs the handle and pulls it out. And for the first time I see Zaret shaking in pain. He moans softly and I can almost see him struggling to keep his composure. It's fascinating and scary at the same time parts. I can't look away Actually, I should use this opportunity to maybe get up again. But all I can do is stare at the man who otherwise seems so invulnerable. That was me!

He stumbles for a moment and when he pulls himself together, his eyes immediately turn to me. And as paradoxical as it is, I lift my chin a little. I know I cannot escape. I could never escape Zaret. Not, with the still prevailing dizziness. But I will never show him my weakness again. He saw her after the rape. I don't want to be pushed around anymore? Then I have to start here. It has to end somewhere that everyone sees me as a victim.

And this small gesture seems to be enough for him. With a roar, he comes at me and throws himself straight at me. With his full weight. And that's exactly what takes my breath away. I immediately gasp for air and a stabbing pain spread through my ribs. And what I've managed to prevent up until now can no longer be stopped. Tears well up in my eyes and almost immediately one of the salty drops runs down my temple. I do not care. I'm not afraid of death. I've been that close anyway.

But no matter how much I tell myself that inside - how much I feel it. The survival instinct cannot be turned off. I rebel. With all might. But what can I do? Zaret probably weighs almost twice as much. My efforts don't even seem to bother him. He grabs my neck roughly as he slides even further up so that our faces are floating one on top of the other. There's an arrogant smile on his lips and I'd love to scratch it off his face. But I cannot. Something fucking hurts. There's a pulling pain in my chest. And this is exactly what prevents me from being able to move. And not only that. My breath can only be heard wheezing. Whether it's from the load on me or something else, I can't tell.

"One last chance to placate me, Kalota." He looks at me intently and I gasp. No. No way. He wants to kill me? Go ahead. But I'm sick of it, the doormat for everything and everyone to be. The power that made me think better with Platura fills me up again now. And I should probably defy it. After all, it's dangerous to put Zaret in his place right now. But I don't care. I don't want to shoo away the energy that's surging in. There's no way I'm making myself more vulnerable.

"Fuck you." Scratchy isn't even close to the word that describes my voice. I don't care. In this case, the words are more important than the power behind what's being said. After all, Zaret still has his hand on my neck "He doesn't squeeze, but it's no longer loose either. He exhales heavily and now he pushes himself up. But not to finally get up from me, but to sit down. Exactly on the painfully throbbing spot. I gasp and whimper softly, but once again he doesn't care. He looks at the knife in his hand instead, turning it slightly in the candlelight.

"I really would have thought you were smarter." And with that, his eyes return to me. I thought the moment before death created a whirlwind in my head. But it doesn't. It seems like it does All thoughts have withdrawn Only the tears show that I'm still alive.

Death in your eyes. I don't die like her. And that's what makes me proud. Then the rustling sounds. Shows Zaret is moving. That the hand goes forward. A burning pain arises in my cheek. Shows the blade is cutting my skin. And with a loud bang it hits the wood. This one splinters. Really bursts under the force. And me? I flinch because it was too close to my ear. I look at Zaret with wide eyes and yet I don't understand it. I look at the knife, which is shaking right next to my head. Which is deep in the ground and then back to Zaret. But what I can't grasp, he says: "Unfortunately, you are too important to me to just kill you." As he speaks, he grabs my chin roughly.

"After all, you just went from being a mere woman from the gutter to a golden goose, didn't you?" And now he's grinning, leaning down further towards me. This puts even more pressure on my upper body and in that moment I'm I'm sure a rib is broken. Still, I catch the words. Golden goose? But I can't investigate further when he goes on, "But you really should show me more respect." And now the lips are hovering over my cheek. He bites into it gently and I'm having more and more trouble understanding it all. What is he talking about? And when the lips are over my ear, lying almost softly on the skin and the heavy breathing can be clearly heard, the next words ring out: "But we'll manage that.

****

He stays like that for a moment and I would like to give him a headbutt. But there's a small part of me that's glad it didn't kill me. And it is precisely this small part that now ensures that I let it be. And while Zaret straightens up again, he groans in pain and it is exactly this sound that makes me grin. I'm actually glad he's suffering. Finally, he feels like me. Zaret also seems to see my amusement at his condition and snorts indignantly.

"Don't overdo it." And as much resentment as there is in the voice, he doesn't want to intimidate me. Instead of continuing to sit on top of me, he slides off me and rubs his face. And by that gesture, be she is still so small, Zaret shows me that the fight is over. At least for him. It's a completely different story for me. Because it's exactly this sentence that makes my blood boil. I shouldn't overdo it? He broke the boundaries. Not me And so it's hard for me to snort the air.

"That's what the right man says." The words are barely audible - losing themselves in both of our heavy breaths. And yet Zaret looks up and the warning not to say anything wrong is immediately apparent through a sudden tenseness in his body.

"What did you just say?" It's no more than a rumble. That which is like distant thunder. Quiet, yet it shows the danger. But that doesn't deter me. I've seen too much today. I heave myself once up, ignore the screaming of my body. Again I feel the warm liquid at the hairline, how it makes its way down through the change of position. I immediately wipe my hand over my forehead and just this touch is enough to I gasp in pain, and I don't even need to look to know that my fingers now have the red of my blood on them, but instead of looking at them, I look at Zaret.

I can barely think straight and Zaret can turn around and push me against the wall with no problem. His breathing is still difficult, showing that he is not feeling well.

"Now pull yourself together," he forced out and I snorted indignantly. I should pull myself together? He can hardly be serious? And so I rear up, wanting to defend myself suffocated as he throws up my dress, allowing the cool air to spread unhindered onto my skin, and not only that, Zaret brushes his hand over my buttocks. I gasp in pain as he applies too much pressure to the wounds of the Whip touched, and again I think of the rich man Of Platura. And wondering if he's still alive. He didn't tell me if he wanted to kill Zaret or if he was going to send someone else to do it. But I guess I'll find out soon enough.

"Are you scared?" Zaret whispers, pulling me out of my thoughts. I immediately want to press my legs together, but I can't even do that because he has his knee between them. And so I can only close my eyes in resignation. But no words come out of me. I don't want him to know what he's doing to me. That my whole body is in pain again right now and makes me feel like I'm being raped again.

"Apparently not enough," Zaret mutters softly. That's probably more for him than for me, and yet it's enough to send an icy shiver down my spine. No. He wouldn't rape me. At least I don't think so. But that's how it is I'm not really sure. After all, the boundaries from back then don't seem to apply anymore. And at the latest when the finger slides along my labia, my security is gone. I whimper softly while he fights his way forward and back again. Almost tenderly he caresses my shame.

"I'll ask you again: are you scared?" And with the last word he applies more pressure and Zaret touches my clitoris for the first time. And that's enough for me. Gone is the strength. Gone is the self-confidence , if I have to experience another rape, I sob softly as another tear leaves my eye.

"Yes, I'm scared." And just to underscore my words, I tremble. Zaret grunts contentedly, but doesn't move away. The finger stays exactly where it is, too, and that makes me feel like I'm in again being in a cage, trapped and forced time and time again to give in - to give Zaret what he wants.

"Then memorize that feeling, Kalota. And now he's circling my clit, bending even further until my breath hits me. "You're mine. Do you understand that?"

I shake my head convulsively, wanting to scream that this isn't true. I don't belong to anyone, only me. But it would be a lie. And this truth hurts so much. "Just tell me what you want." In fact, I sound confident. And that's weird. Makes even me pause. How can I sound strong when I feel so weak?

"I have a deal for you." Zaret circles my clit again and pulls away from me a bit. I can't wait to stop feeling his closeness. But he doesn't let me go, brushes my inner thighs again, while he bites my earlobe. And right now, I realize that there really aren't any boundaries between us anymore. Something happened that changed everything. And I can't even begin to say what it is. But right there His words come to mind Golden goose However, that's not what matters to me I want to understand what drives him to hurt me so badly.

"What's happening here?" Again, my voice weakens with each word, carrying little strength. But I have such a hard time sounding strong when Zaret is still so close to me. His presence crushes me My heart keeps cramping. But I have to do something. Anything. Otherwise, it will never get better. "Tell me what the trigger for your behavior is!"

He laughs softly and slides his lips over my ear. The hot breath caresses my neck and that alone is enough to make me sob again. "Platura," he whispers softly, and that very name makes me pause. Immediately I want to push off again so I can face Zaret, but he just pushes me against the wall with even more force.

"No, it's nice to stay that way." And to underline his words again, he slides his finger between my labia, circles my entrance. "And if you're nice and good, nothing will happen," he breathes on my skin Crook of the neck and very slowly penetrates the fingertip into me. Not far. But that's enough to rob me of any resistance. Be good. At the time, that word evoked disgust. It's now my daily business. Zaret also seems to notice that I don't intend to push myself off the wall again. He clicks the ignition and then pulls his finger out of me. "Smart girl."

This in turn makes it difficult for me to concentrate. How I hate it when people call me their girl. But I shouldn't concern myself with that now. I'm thinking of Plata. Try to remind me of his face. How he sat in the chair, how he has been in my home. But there is nothing that could explain it to me. And so,I just shake my head in desperation. "What about him?"

And that now seems to confuse Zaret as well. He stops immediately, driving me insane with his touch. "Kalota, I saw him. How he came to you." He talks as if what he's saying makes sense. That the puzzle is right in front of me and I just have to put it together. But I don't see the connection. Yes, the new client is rich. Zaret didn't care about that before either. It's hard for me to expel my breath. "I don't understand."

And now Zaret breaks away from me and spins me around. And when my back isn't even against the wall, he grabs my chin. He immediately looks at me intently and only now does Zaret seem to notice that I really don't seem to have any idea what he's talking about. "Did you see the customer?"

I nod slightly. And that's exactly what makes him pucker his eyebrows. "And? Did he look familiar to you?" I look at Zaret with wide eyes and start to wonder if he just wants to confuse me. After all, Platura comes from a poor background. Maybe they know each other and want to play a stupid joke with me? Zaret also seems to notice that I don't make any sense of what he's saying, and with that he pushes away from me with an incredulous snort. "You really have no idea, do you?" He laughs softly and me? I can't do anything but keep standing against the wall. I know the choice of words. That's exactly what Platura said. Once again, he looks at me in amusement and that smile seems real. Really real. "But what do I expect from you." He makes a derogatory hand gesture and takes another step closer to me. "Your new customer is king."