Chapter 8 Always Because Of Her

Liam is about to get the can of spaghetti sauce that is locally made when he stopped in his tracks.

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He opened his eyes and stared at the products displayed in the shelf. He gave out a sigh before he continued to take the locally-manufactured sauce and put it in his cart.

He was somewhat exasperated about himself. It had been about two months and a half since their truce and by now, it's like he's hearing Louis' voice inside his head, pestering him about anything that he buys. He also knows that Louis' voice wouldn't stop inside his head until he's not following him. Damn that boy, even his brain had been invaded and nags him there.

Liam just shrugged and did not thought about that small dilemma too much. He went to the drinks section and took a lot of Yorkshire tea for Louis. Because they often meet to plan strategies, they would usually go to his flat and for reasons unknown, he pays attention to Louis' food preferences when buying.

"Strange, it's like having a boyfriend." He muttered to himself. He doesn't really know what to feel. He also liked men. And even though he normally plays around with a woman, it means nothing to him. It's also because he hadn't found a boy interesting enough to draw him in. He hadn't found that someone who can understand him and will make him feel. Someone who can affect him and have an effect to him. But well, he isn't looking and he doesn't want to. He doesn't want to be like his father who loves his mother so much.

Liam shook his head to rid him of his thoughts. He continued to get things that he needs when his phone rang.

"Hello?" He asked the other line quickly.

"Sir Liam, this is Jake." His father's driver said. "Your father... Mr. Payne had a heart attack. We brought him to the hospital."

Liam's body ran cold. "I'm on my way." He quickly put his phone back in his pocket and quickly walked out of the store, leaving the cart of his supposed-to-buy groceries.

*****

"The heart attack was due to stress. It looks like your father is bothered by many things. Is there a problem with your company, Liam?"

Liam pinched the bridge of his nose while talking to their family doctor in the hallway of the hospital outside the room of his father.

"No, Doc, there's no problem in our business. I think, Dad's bothered by something different." He answered.

"Well, if that's the case, can you do something to fix that? Too much thinking and worrying will exhaust him. Try to relieve him of that." The doctor tapped his shoulder consolingly and walked away.

Liam took a deep breath before walking back inside his father's room. He watched him solemnly sleeping on the hospital bed. His father looked tired. He took a chair, moved it beside his father's bed and sat there.

He's not stupid. He knows what causes strain and stress to his father- it was his engagement. Maybe his father senses that him and Louis is against it. His father is worried that he will not be able to fulfill his mother's wish.

"It's always about mom, right, Dad?" Liam asked his father even though he knows that he can't hear him.

"All your pains, all your happiness... it's always because of her." His eyes was almost wet with tears.

*****

"I still cry everytime I remember that scene. I've already watched it many times but it still gets to me every time I watch it again."

From standing outside the hospital room of his father, Liam heard Geoff Payne laugh.

"You're mean, Uncle! How could you laugh at me? I'm serious."

Liam carefully opened the door and stared at his father and Louis who were happily talking. Louis was peeling an apple while Geoff was holding a book.

A faint smile crossed Liam's lips. Geoff's recovery was fast and the big reason behind it is Louis. The boy always visits and his father loves Louis' company. More than that, Louis' presence is really comforting.

He doesn't know the reason why he did not continue to enter the room, or to even let his presence be known to the two. He just quietly watched them.

"Yes, son, I know. You are just too sweet. You know, Karen was also like that. She cries at sappy old movies that she already watched a thousand times." His father was still smiling, then a very familiar expression crossed Geoff's face. That painful and heart-wrenching expression was all too familiar to Liam. He had seen that countless of times in the past, whenever his father would hear or see anything even remotely related to his deceased mother. When he saw that, his own eyes got teary, but he blinked it away.

"You know dear, I never got to talk much about Liam's mother with him." Geoff's eyes were still sad. "I avoid talking with him about Karen; talking about her is very painful for me. I don't want Liam to see my sadness because I know that he will just worry." He was quiet for a few seconds before continuing. "I.. I have not been a very good father to him, I've been too engrossed in my own pain... and now, I'm forcing him in this engagement. I know, he must resent me-"

"That's not true, Uncle." Louis smiled kindly to the old man. "Liam loves you." He said with utmost simplicity and conviction rivaling that of a saint. "I don't know the issues between you and Liam, but I'm sure he loves you, Uncle. It's as clear as daylight. The truth is, I was moved by how much he loves you. This might sound rude and blunt but... Liam.. he's not exactly the most wonderful person, but you know Uncle, when it comes to you, the most amazing side of his personality comes out. And it's beautiful."

Geoff closed his eyes, seeming like absorbing and tasting each word that Louis said. The old man held Louis' hands and placed it on his cheeks.

"Thank you, Lou. Thank you." Geoff continued holding Louis' palms as if his hands offer salvation from his hidden fears and guilt.

Liam took a step back and carefully closed the door again.