Chapter 166 I forgive you

Nikolai

My phone rang and it was a random number. I picked up.

"Nikolai?" I heard a voice I didn't recognise. "It's me, Adrian."

"Adrian?" He's grown up now. He must be seventeen or eighteen now. Fuck. I can't even recognise his voice.

"Yeah. I'm glad to know you're alive again, man."

"I'm glad to be alive." I smiled. I missed the kid. "When are you coming back?"

"I'm back at the house actually. I hadn't taken the dagger with me, I thought it would be safe here. I had put it in the safe that was in my bedroom. I don't know the passcode bro." I face palmed myself.

"Then why did you put it in there?" I groaned.

"I was a kid. I didn't know!" He defended. "So, passcode?"

"Try Avalyn's birthday. It's twenty-second May nineteen ninety." I used it as a passcode and every other place. But most safes in the bedrooms were built into walls and the passcode had been set when we moved there. There was still a slight chance...

I heard him punch in the code.

"That's not it." He sighed. "Should I break it?"

"No. It has a system— if it is broken into, it will blast like a bomb. Just stay there. I'll have to come there myself. All the safes have my finger print as the master passcode." Now that I look back on it, I should have added someone else too.

"Fine. See you soon." He replied.

"Yeah. See you soon." I cut the call.

"Nikolai!" Natalia screeched as she entered the dining room. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Natalia!" Max admonished and then shook his head.

"No Max." She told her mate and then looked at me with narrowed eyes. "None of this Alpha shit right now. I'm talking to you as family. I know that life has been shit right since a long time. I know things are not good with you and Avalyn. I know it's been rough. We all know it. But enough is enough. She is still in that freaking office. It's been two days Nikolai! Today is the third day! We all know you both can't live without each other. Save us all the trouble and make up." Her high pitched voice was making my ears bleed. "Every fucking body is scared of you. Some tiny thing happens and you snap. You're giving out punishments like it's confetti! Get your head out of your ass and look a the bigger picture."

"Are you done?" I asked as I took a bite of my apple.

"Ugh!" She groaned. "I just can't with you!"

"Then don't." I shrugged. "And she can stay in there for as long as she likes. She can come out any time she wants."

"She won't come out until her last breath, Nikolai." Dimitri said quietly. "You know it."

I know that she's stubborn.

And it's been two days without food and water. And she was already too thin...

Fuck, I'm actually thinking about it now.

"Max also cheated on me." Natalia continued and her mate winced at the memory. "But did I hold any grudges? No! I forgave him! You should too!"

"Shut up." I growled. No need to remind of it. "That was different and you fucking know it."

She finally grew quiet.

"Thanks for the peaceful breakfast." I stood up and walked out.

I groaned as I walked towards my office. I know I can't let her be in there for so long. But I can't lose just yet! I wanted her to accept my rejection!

This clearly wasn't the way though.

And then an idea formed in my head. I know exactly what to do. I need to piss her off. I need to make her mad at me, enough mad that she will hate my guts.

It's the only way. Because Avalyn and I — we will never work. Ever. It's done.

It took me half an hour to do the set up and then I walked to my office. I placed my hand on the circle and the door unlocked.

I pushed it open and stepped inside and closed it behind me.

Avalyn was sitting in her exact same position and exact same place I left her in.

I circled her so I stood in front of her. "Stand up."

She used her frail arms to push herself up. Her knees buckled and she was about to fall down again.

Instinctively, I wrapped my arm around her waist and held her up. Her body rested against mine and her head fell on my chest. "You came." She whispered softly. "I know you would come, Nikolai. I know you still love me."

I cupped her cheek and made her look at me. These are going to be out last moments together so I allowed myself to let go. I allowed myself to feel for her one last time.

"You're too stubborn, Love." My thumb caressed her chapped lips.

She cracked a smile.

I pressed a kiss against her lips and then picked her up and carried her to my bedroom. For one last time.

I placed her on the bed. It was the only part that was clean anyways.

I took the glass of water placed on the side and held it against her lips. She drank it quickly.

Then, I took the plate and placed it between us.

Her soft eyes looked at me with tears and love as she ate whatever I fed her. For one last time.

Without complaint, she ate every single thing that was on the plate.

"Thank you." She sighed. "Can I please sleep for some time?"

"Sleep? I had something else in mind." I caressed her thigh.

Her eyes flew open and she stared at me in shock. "Really?" The anticipation in her voice was palpable.

I nodded.

"I knew you still loved me." Her voice shook. "I believed in us, Nikolai. Because I love you. I never stopped." And then she pressed her lips against mine.

And then she kissed me like she was breathing fresh air for the first time.

And I too, let go.

I cupped her cheeks— they had become too hollow, she needs to eat more. I'll look into it later. And then I kissed her deeply, pushing her on the bed.

Her silver hair sprayed on the bed like a halo and she started up at me like she was staring at her God.

I took my t-shirt and pants off.

Just looking at her like this turned me on. But if this is going to be our last night together, then I'm going to make the most of it. I lowered my body on her and kissed her plump lips thoroughly before I kissed her jaw and then neck. Her collar was small— almost like a thick necklace so it didn't come in between too much.

My jaw ached and my canines started pushing out so I moved forward. Enough neck for tonight. I squeezed her breasts and kneaded them, making her squirm and moan under my touch.

"Harder." She breathed, letting her wish known.

Avalyn has always liked it rough.

I squeezed her tits hard and then rolled her nipples between my forefinger and my thumb. She gasped in pleasure.

I sicked her on her nipples and her hands raked through my long hair, grasping and pulling hard.

A groan left my mouth. It felt so good,

I sucked harder and pinched the other nipple and her hold on my hair tightened.

"Fuck me, Nikolai. Please." She begged. "Right now. Please."

"Patience, Love." I blew her nipple and moved on to the next one. Let it not be said that I don't give both the babies equal attention.

I did the same with the other side, my other hand squeezing and moulding and kneading her other boob. I bit down on it till she let out a small cry and then I blew on it.

She shivered and goosebumps rose on her skin. I continued kissing down her stomach that was way too flat to be healthy.

"Promise me you'll eat good from now on." I kissed her belly button.

"I promise." She moaned, pushing my head further down, where she wanted it.

I scooted down and looked at her pussy. She was dripping wet.

I circled a finger around her lips and raised it in the air. "You're so fucking wet, Moya Lyubov." The name slipped past my lips out of habit.

"Please Nik..." she begged.

"Please what?" I teased her pussy with my fingers, not going in or touching properly, just lightly trailing it over her wetness.

"Please fuck me." She cried and I attacked her pussy with my mouth.

I licked and sucked and bit, tasting every inch of her, getting reacquainted with her.

"Come as many times you want." I said in between licks and continued eating her out. If I'm going to have my fill of her for the rest of my life, it's going to take some time.

"Thank you." She cried out her first orgasm in seconds, breathing and moaning heavily. And then her second.

And then I inserted my finger in as I sucked her clit. She jerked off the bed and pulled my hair hard. "Fuck!"

"Don't come." I ordered just when she was about to have her third orgasm and pulled my fingers out. She whimpered at the loss of my touch.

I pushed my fingers in her mouth. "Suck'em clean, baby."

She clutched my hand with both her hands and sucked my fingers like it was my dick. She twirled her tongue around them and moaned softly.

I covered her body with mine and my face was inches from hers.

"Why does it feel like you're saying goodbye?" She whispered and her hand raised up and she gently touched my eyes with her fingers and then trailed them down my face.

"It's nothing like that." It's only goodbye as mates. Not as a kinship. I care for her deeply and I don't think that will ever go away.

A tear trailed fell from the corner of her eye and she nodded.

I kissed it away.

A tinkling giggle escaped her lips and I looked at her.

A rose smile formed on her lips. "Your beard is ticklish." She whispered and caressed my bearded cheek.

"You don't like it?" My voice sounded rough.

It's been so long since I heard her laugh.

"I like you the way you like yourself, Nikolai." She kissed my beard and trailed her fingers through my long hair. "You look older like this."

"Are you into old men?" I kissed her ear and she shuddered. It was one of her weak spots.

"I'm into you." She breathed heavily and then her legs wrapped around my waist. "And now, I want you into me. Please. I've waited too long."

I positioned my dick near her entrance and looked at her in the eye. There were no flashbacks, no anger, no bad memory of what she had done to me.

Only Avalyn.

And her electric blue eyes that could still stare into my soul.

Goddess, I love this woman so much.

Slowly, I pushed myself in her. I groaned at the blissful feeling. I feel like I'm in fucking heaven. I paused for a couple of seconds, if I don't control myself, I'll come now.

She rotated her hips and I started thrusting hard. It was the perfect rhythm. Hard and fast. And then soft and slow. And back again.

Her moans got louder and my breathing got heavier. I didn't tear my eyes from her face for a single second. I didn't want to forget this moment. I didn't want to lose a single second of her expressions.

"Can I please cum?" She cried out. Her head and pushed back and her nails were digging in my back. A sheen of sweat coated her forehead.

"With me." I said and hammered into her before I came hard and then I felt her explode.

"Nik..." Her entire body trembled and shuddered and her eyes rolled back and her strung up body went limp. She couldn't stop moaning my name.

I remained in my most favourite snug hole and watched her fall apart in my arms. "Stop." I ordered when she was mid-way.

Her eyes widened in question.

"Stop." I ordered again, my voice soft this time and she froze, her orgasm stopping mid-way. Her face was red and her jaw clenched.

Her pussy pulsated under the the strain of control. I pumped a couple of times and she clamped tighter against me.

I fucking love that I can control her like that.

"Let go." I smiled and she gave into her release. She came hard and fast. Her moans were louder and her little heart was beating faster than ever.

Her eyes were closing after she was done.

"I'm not done with you, Avalyn." I growled in her ear.

"You're not?" She rasped.

"No." I shook my head and sat up.

Her eyes fell on my cock that was at her eye level. It started standing once it had her attention. She fisted me and gave me a couple of pumps and then smiled. And then raised herself up, kissed my head and then patted it. "I know you've missed me too, Nikolai Sr." She cooed at my dick.

A deep laughter bubbled out of my throat.

"I promise you'll never be separated from your best friend, your home and your vacation home ever again." She giggled at her own words as she tickled the underside of my cock.

"Best friend, home and vacation home?" I choked.

She showed me her tongue and pointed at it, "that's the best friend he can 'talk' to," then she pointed at her pussy, "that's the home because that's where he belongs and my ass is the vacation home. He doesn't go there every time, but whenever he does, it's a blast." She grinned, looking very satisfied with her response.

Another laughter, deep from my belly rocketed off the walls.

I saw her look at me with a small smile on her face and my laughter diminished.

"I missed your laugh." She said softly. I missed your silly jokes.

I tipped her chin up and bent down to kiss her.

She sighed deeply into the kiss.

There were no currents, no tingles like before so how can it still be so good? How can it still feel so perfect?

Because I love her.

I have been sentenced to a lifetime of loving her.

If I get her to accept my rejection, will I be punishing her or punishing myself?

Punishment.

I was simply punishing her. I should be doing it for my own peace of mind. But I was at peace now. I always was when I was with Ava.

That's when I realised. I had already forgiven her.

And in that exact moment, I decided to cancel my plan. What I was going to do will go to my grave with me. I will never, I can never tell her this.

"Avalyn?"

"Yeah?"

"I forgive you." The second those words slipped past my mouth, she wrapped her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly and she started crying again.

I rolled us over so I was on my back and she was on top of me and I hugged her tighter. I can never let this gem of a woman go.

I'll be a fool if I do that.

"That's all I ever wanted." She gasped between her cries. "Thank you. Thank you so much!"

"I'm sorry too. I didn't know you could feel it..." I trailed off, not knowing how to address it without hurting her. It was probably still fresh in her mind.

"It's fine, Nik. We weren't together then." She kissed my cheek. "Let me thank you properly." She whispered and fisted me again and then lowered her mouth on my already hardened dick.

My hips buckled and I hissed. "Fuck." I forgot how nice it felt.

She did a thing with her tongue and massaged my balls. I groaned and clutched her hair, guiding her faster.

She gagged and sucked and then gagged again but she never let go. Her grip on me was tight as she gave me the best blowjob of my life.

And then I came silently and forcefully. Like always, she drank everything but I had something else in mind.

I pulled out before I finished, ejaculating all over her face, her tits and her stomach.

She licked her lips and looked up at me with hooded eyes. "I'm yours, Nikolai."

"Just had to make sure." A growl rumbled from my chest.

I switched our position again so I was lying on the bed and she was on top of me. I pushed her so she was in a sitting position. I grabbed her waist and lowered her on me, groaning at the feel of being inside my snug, cosy home.

She placed her hands on my chest before trailing them down to my abs, feeling me. "You've grown."

"You've decreased." I caressed her sides. I could see her ribs. She looked sick. She looked a lot like how she did when I bought her. Maybe a little less worse than that though.

Goosebumps rose on her skin. "I'll eat now." She said softly and wiggled her ass and rolled her hips.

I held her move. This wasn't rabid fucking like before. This was slow and soft. This was making love.

I massaged my cum over her body, enjoying the feel of her soft skin. It made her skin shine.

"You look beautiful." I massaged her tits.

"I thought semen was only a good facial. I was clearly wrong." She grinned, squeezing me inside her.

I laughed again. Seriously. When was the last time I laughed so much?

"You want me to give you a facial?" I asked and she nodded, moaning loudly when I hit a particular spot.

"Well too bad. I want to fill up your little cunt." I gritted and started thrusting hard in her and held her waist and bounced her on top of me at the same time, making her feel each and every thrust hard and fast.

She shrieked at the sudden fastness but then started moving with me, her loud moans echoing in the empty room and her heavy moulds bouncing. I slapped them a couple of times, and she cried out in pleasure.

"Can I please come?"

My phone rang. Both of us ignored it.

"No." I growled and pushed her off me and got on top of her. I flipped her on her back and pulled her hips up and thrust into her from behind.

Her cheek was pressed into the mattress and her entire body shook because of momentum as I hammered into her.

I slapped her ass hard. A good couple of times. She groaned in pleasure and pain. The sound of my palm meeting her ass was loud and the print of my hand on her ass grew red. Fucking hell I missed her.

She came.

"Stop." I slapped her ass again. "Don't fucking come unless I say so."

She groaned and clamped tight against me as she paused. "Please." She whimpered.

I slowed my movements and pulled her asscheeks apart. I spat on her asshole and circled her nub with my finger before I pushed it in. Her hole had gotten small again but I'm going to fuck her ass anyways.

I rotated my finger over her pussy and she whimpered. "Please. I -I can't."

"You can and you will." I gritted. "Don't you dare fucking come." And then I used the lubricant and pushed two fingers in her ass. Her hole puckered as I pumped.

She was tight was fuck. In both places.

"Nik please." She begged desperately. "Please. Please. Please."

"No." I cruelly declined and pulled my dick out.

She cried at the loss.

I slapped her ass again and positioned my dick at the entrance of her ass and then slowly pushed in. She was snug as hell and it hurt a little but the lubrication helped.

"Ah fuck," she moaned.

She was so wet that her wetness had coated her thighs and had formed a pool on the bed.

"Relax, Love." I groaned. And she did and then in a single thrust, I pushed in.

"Nik." Her arms gave out and she fell on the but I had been holding her hips up.

And then I started fucking her ass. Hard.

And then I started fucking her ass and cunt. At the same time. I push. Pull out. Push in another hole and then pull out.

She was high in waves. It was high. And low. And she was already dangling at the edge so it was harder for her.

Ava hadn't stopped moaning. Hadn't stopped screaming my name, chanting my name.

My phone rang again.

"Who is it?" She groaned.

"Someone not important right now." I hissed and then flipped her limp body over again and then pushed into her pussy.

"Come." I allowed and I filled her up with my load.

Her back arched as it raised off the bed and she screamed my name to the heavens as she let go. Her body trembled and her eyes glazed over.

Avalyn orgasming is a sight to see. I collapsed on the bed besides her and my dick was getting hard again but I knew Avalyn was done now. In fact, she was already asleep.

My phone rang again and I groaned at the annoying tune. I put it against my ear and snapped, "what?"

"Where the hell are you? You should have been here hours ago!" Adrian's distant voice floated through the speaker.

"I'm coming." I growled as I got off the mattress.

Ava stirred, grabbing my arm in her sleep.

"I need to go, Love." I kissed her forehead and got up, walking into my closet.

"Well come here as soon as you can. Something is wrong. I can feel it in the air. Both me and Vanessa. It's not good. It's all dark and cold and it's fucking two in the afternoon." He sounded worried.

I didn't even notice. The blinds in the room have been closed since forever.

"Dark? Like night?" I quickly got dressed and sprayed a shit ton of perfume to mask the scent of sex that was stuck to my skin.

"Yes. It doesn't feel good. It feels like death is coming, dude." What the fuck is this kid saying?

"I'll be there soon." I cut the call.

'I'm going to our beach estate. Take care of things here.' I mind- linked Natalia.

'Okay. But why? Is everything alright?' She asked.

'I'll find out soon.' I cut the mind link off and got on the helicopter.