Chapter 9 Past

Past

Nikolai

"My full name is Avalyn Alvarez." She whispered and I took a deep breath. "Yes, my dad was Javier Alvarez, the Alpha of the Montaña Pack before his Beta Emmanuel González and now his son Emilio González took over."

"When I was thirteen years old, Emmanuel killed my dad to become the Alpha, he was papa's Beta and my favorite uncle. He was very close to us, but his desire for more power led him to do it. I didn't know he killed him, nobody in the entire pack told me about it. They were all sworn to protect me and papa but no one helped him, no one told me the truth. Emmanuel, who had been treating me like his own daughter, told me that they were attacked and papa didn't make it, I believed him." She said and her eyes filled with tears.

There was so much pain in her eyes that I felt my heart crack. I didn't say anything. I wanted to listen.

"After six months, our cook, Mrs. Maria told me the truth. She was like a mother to me, my real mother died giving birth to me. She said that I shouldn't tell anyone or it would put my life in danger but she wanted me to know the truth, she didn't want me to grow up thinking of the man who had killed my father was my second father. Someone heard our conversation and told Emmanuel, he shot Mrs. Maria in front of my eyes." She sobbed. I kept caressing her hair, showing that I am there for her.

"After that, he started treating me badly, but that was just calling me names or pushing me around and making me do household chores. It got worse when Emilio came to stay at my house too, he was staying with his mother before that. His father was happy that his heir had come back to him so he gifted me to him. He was almost eighteen by then and I was just a thirteen-year-old kid. That was when he started 'training' me and made me into in personal slave. He called me his 'pet'. He had trapped and tortured me in my own home. My only fault was that I had started growing boobs and butt by that age and that was what started his attraction towards me. He first raped me on my sixteenth birthday." She was sobbing uncontrollably by now. A tear leaked from my eye and my hold on her tightened. I could've even begun to imagine the kind of pain she had lived through most of her life.

"It's okay if you don't want to continue, Love," I whispered. She didn't deserve it, no child should have gone through what she did.

"No, I want to tell you. I-I need to get it off my chest." She hiccupped. I nodded against her head.

"After that, I wasn't allowed to wear clothes at home, my birthday gift was the collar and the leash, I was not allowed to take them off. You were the first one to take it of, you are my savior." She kissed my neck, her tears not stopping. But she kept going. That's how strong she was.

"I-If I did something he didn't like, he would punish me with floggers, crops, paddles, whips and even canes, never stopped even when I said the s-safe word." She said, sobbing hysterically by now.

Tears formed in my eyes as I listened to her, at what she had to go through at such a young age. She had no one of her own. I would feel her wolf crying for her human's pain. But she was so far away and my wolf and I could do nothing to soothe her pain.

"He used to bring his friends home to show me off, punish me in front of them, even let them beat me or fuck me or have me suck them off. I quickly learned that crying would earn me more punishments so I stopped crying, I became the perfect submissive, so he didn't get many reasons to punish me but he would find some of the other faults and beat me anyway but it would be less when I behaved." My anger started surging but I kept a tight lid on it. This wasn't the time. This wasn't about me. It was about Ava, and she needs me. She needs me to just listen to her.

"I even started finding peace in submitting, just letting go of everything and not thinking about anything, doing as you are told— it was the only constant in my life after papa died. And the pain was constant too. That was my life till I was twenty-one. Then I became too boring for him because I finally became the perfect submissive. He sold me to that place and two weeks later, you bought me. I had no hope but you saved me. You are my savior." Ava cried out the last part.

I held her tight and let her cry, let her mourn, she needed to let it all out. I kept whispering sweet words in her ears and kept wiping her tears. She cried herself to sleep in my arms.

I felt helpless again, I couldn't be there for her when she needed me. But then I felt good that she trusted me to tell me the truth about everything, I understood her so much better now. But I still had one question.

"Is that why you don't have a wolf?" I asked her softly.

"I have a wolf, Master. But...it feels like she is very far away. I can never reach her. It's as if she doesn't want to come out. Maybe because she doesn't have a reason to." She whispered the last part.

It bothers me so much because an average werewolf shifted at the age of thirteen or fourteen and if you are late, then it is extremely unhealthy for you. It can kill your human side and most of the time, you can never shift back into a human and you lose your sanity and go wild. Not even the worst rogues are as crazy as wolves who have lost their humanity.

I slipped my hand under her knees and another around her waist, and picked her up. I carried her back to our house. When I entered through the back window, I saw Sofiya and Vladimir sitting on the sofa.

"Is she okay?" She asked me worriedly, Vladimir looked concerned too.

"She will be," I said quietly, not wanting to disturb Ava. I climbed the stairs to our room and placed her on the bed.

She truly was an angel who had been through hell. She looked so peaceful right now, so much different than a few minutes before and I was going to do everything in my power so that she was at peace at all times. No one had ever made me feel as she did. No other woman calmed my wolf as she did. I felt at peace when I was with her. The feelings I had for this woman grew each day, each second I found out something new about her. She was my mate.

When I found out about what had happened, hot, raging and all-consuming fire coursed through me but I somehow managed to keep myself in check. I wanted Ava to tell me everything and not get scared of me.

"I will avenge you, Moya Lyubov," I vowed to her and kissed her forehead. I forced my legs to walk out of the room and let her rest.

******

"Is Avalyn okay?" Dimitri asked when I entered the meeting room. Everyone was already present here. Good.

"She will be," I replied with the same answer I gave to Sofiya and Vladimir.

"The reports on the spies in our lands?" I asked as I took my seat.

"No spies are caught Alpha, we think that they are laying low after the last incident. Natalia is doing a good job with her assignment too." Mikhail replied. I gave him a sharp nod as I took out my cigar and lit it. I needed this after everything that went down today.

"How long is the list of the newbies?" I asked.

"Only twelve this time," Vladimir said. Thank god. The court day was coming soon and it was always a headache.

"Can we go have dinner now? I'm starving." Dimitri grumbled, getting up. I nodded, we were done for the day and they had done a lot of my work today too.

We went to the dining room to have dinner. It didn't feel right to have food without Ava and I didn't want her to sleep on an empty stomach.

"Bring me a tray," I told one of the slaves and started serving food to me and Ava on our plates. I set both the plates on the tray she brought, took it to our room, and placed it on the side table.

"Ava, wake up Love," I said softly, caressing her hair.

"Mmmm..." She leaned her head more against my palm.

"Ava, I brought you dinner." I tried to wake her again. She wasn't waking up so I changed my tactics. I brought my hands to her waist and started tickling her.

She twisted and opened her eyes, giggling loudly. Her laugh was music to my ears.

"Let’s have dinner." I grinned at her and she nodded, sitting beside me. I took her plate in my hand and started feeding her first. Her eyes looked swollen because of the crying and her lips and nose were red too.

"Thank you, Master." She told me once I was done feeding her.

"I thought we agreed on not calling me that anymore, that we will have a normal relationship," I told her quietly. She took the other plate in her plate in her hand and brought the spoon up to my mouth. I took the bite.

"I didn't agree on it." She whispered and continued to feed me.

"I don't want to be the reminder of your past Ava," I whispered back. Why couldn't she see that she would be happier with a normal life?

"You are not. I can't have a normal relationship Nikolai, I'm way past the normal stage and I am finally happy now, like this. I need it." Her eyes filled with tears again.

"You can be normal, my Love, we can have a normal relationship." I tried to reason with her, but I didn't know how to make her understand.

"I don't want to be normal! I don't want to have a normal relationship, I believe in fate, what happens, happens for a reason, it led me to you Nikolai and it made me like this. Please, I need it." She whispered, her tears falling again.

"I know you love exercising control on everything. You are a man of power and you love the power and control you have over me. I have seen the pleasing feeling in your eyes when I call you Master or do what you want me to do. You can't deny it. You are the King, so please, be my King." She said, wiping her unstoppable tears. I never want her to cry and here she is, crying because of me.

"It's true. I love power, control, and exercising it on other people. I am the King, but don't you see that you are my mate, my Queen?" I whispered. Every word she said about me was true and I was not going to lie to her.

"You can still be my King. Please, Nikolai." She begged. I could hear the desperation in her voice but I had made my decision, I was not going to be the reminder of her past.

"How about you try a normal relationship? I want you to try, my Love." I asked her. Once she knows how normal is good, she would start liking it more.

"You want me to try? How?" She sniffled.

"We will be a normal couple, just like I explained to you in the shack," I told her. She was finally understanding what I was trying to tell her.

"You want that?" She asked, looking straight into my eyes.

"I do." I nodded, confident about my answer. Maybe she saw something in my eyes and nodded.

"I want to sleep, my eyes are still burning." She said, rubbing her eyes and lying on the bed again.

"You should go and have a shower first, Love. You will feel better." I told her.

"No. I want to sleep." She told me and turned away from me. I sighed, she was upset but it was for her betterment.

"Good night, Moya Lyubov," I whispered and went to have a shower. I came and slept beside her, I didn't hold her tonight like every night, she needed the space.