Chapter 28

We walked for a long time. His backyard was indeed big, bigger than I originally thought, because at one point we made it towards a pavilion I hadn't seen before. It was tucked neatly away behind a few trees and right near a lake I also hadn't

noticed before now. Then again, I had mostly turned my attention towards his swimming pool.

The pavilion offered a seating option, and so taking a seat, we both sat down and enjoyed the bottle of red wine he had procured from his basement. The thick blanket turned out to be for me as nighttime slowly settled over us and chilled the air to a degree that was less warm than my clothing. It was a warm evening, but not that warm.

Having uncorked the bottle from home, Harry poured me a glass of red and then one for himself as well before leaning back and watching the slowly darkening night sky with me.

Summer meant later nights with more sun, but the sunset was beautiful

nonetheless as we watched it set through the trees around the pavilion.

Keeping the warm blanket wrapped around me, I sipped my glass slowly and let the heady wine tickle my tastebuds before swallowing it. I had no clue about years and good grapes, but something told me this was a good and expensive wine.

Hopefully with a nice alcohol percentage, too.

"Tell me why you decided to study medicine," Harry then voiced.

I blew out a breath, because I knew from the start that some subjects would be unavoidable tonight, after earlier today.

"I guess... because of my mom," I replied, sipping my wine again.

"I grew up with one parent who wasn't always quite there, mentally, and it just... I guess I just wanted to make it easier on the next kid who got a mom like that."

"And your father?"

"If you have his number, I'd love to see where my intelligence came from," I chuckled weakly at my own lame joke.

Truth was, it was still a sensitive topic.

Harry didn't smile at my joke, understandably, but merely sipped his own wine instead.

"So, you decided to study medicine because you want to help others not go through what you did."

"It's a bit cliché, I know."

"It's very admirable, but I question if that's what you truly want."

"What do you mean?"

Harry watched his wine for a moment before speaking.

"Your mother spoke something about not wanting you to forget who you are. I want to know who you think you are, Cassandra."

His words astounded me for a moment.

Then, taking a big gulp of my wine, I let out a long breath. Complicated questions.

"I... I mean... does anyone know who they really are? I'm just, you know..."

What was I?

Parental problems aside, what was I?

Struggling?

A bitch? Lost?

"I think you're still trying to figure out who you are," Harry volunteered for me.

I silently looked over at him. He was still watching his wine, swirling it around in his glass.

"You're a young woman, Cassandra. Nobody should have their life together at

your age, but I see how you carry yourself in this world. You're brave, but you're also afraid," He turned his eyes towards mine, and it was then I realized I had forgotten to breathe.

"Tell me if I'm wrong."

l exhaled when I had been holding my breath. Then, lowering my gaze, I licked my lips.

"You're not wrong," I whispered, silently.

Harry nodded slowly. I was afraid. Not of life, but of the people l let into it. Perhaps of the people who were already in it... or the people missing in it. It all felt so wrong.

Every person I knew felt like they had been given the wrong title in my life. My mother was more of friend to me than a parent. my dad was more of a donor or a ghost than a father... and my friends were as non-existent as the relationships I had with boys.

And Harry... well. I wasn't even going to start that one.

"Do you remember what I told you?" Harry broke the silence.

I lifted my eyes and cocked a questioning brow. He told me so much; it was hard to keep track of it all.

"If words can control you, you let other people control you."

Ah, yes. That one.

"No matter the situation, never let your emotions overpower your intelligence," He reminded me.

"You are brighter than your mother, and you are not a product of her influence in your life. You get to choose what happens to you and therefore what you want to become. Not her."

Try telling her that one, I wanted to say, but I knew he was right. I knew what he was really saying. If I was allowing my mom to control my emotions, what else was I allowing her to control?

"I've only ever had my mom," I whispered.

It felt like confession night, and I was afraid one bottle of wine wasn't going to be

enough to get through it.

"If I lose her, who else do I have?"

"Who said you need anyone else?"

So now he wanted me to become a loner like him? Hiding away from the world, because the world only wanted to use me?

"I want people in my life, Harry. I'm sorry, but I'm not like you. I can't survive on misanthropy."

"You have roughly 7 billion to choose from," He voiced.

"Many of whom will be a lot less toxic than your mom." Damn it, if he was

trying to make me break down and cry, he should've brought tissues instead of a blanket.

"You make it appear as if you go against her, you'll have nobody left on the planet to turn to. That's not true."

"Turning to people takes trust," I said, turning my eyes towards him.

"You of all people should know how hard that is to come by."

I saw a muscle in his jaw work before he turned his eyes towards the fading horizon. I hit a nerve, I could tell, but he had hit one of mine as well.

The one thing about Harry, was that he was always brutally honest - brutal being the operative word. He always gave you the truth, whether you needed it or not, he gave it to you anyway.

And strangely, I liked that.

Maybe because I was so busy trying to suppress it.

"Can I ask you something?" I finally voiced, after a moment of silence.

I tilted my head to the side when he hummed and sipped his wine.

"Does my age bother you?"

Swallowing, he lowered his glass.

"No."

"So, the age difference doesn't bother you either?" I provoked, sitting up a little straighter when he set his wine glass down on the edge of the pavilion railing.

"I mean, you were the one who said you hated the youth. I'm technically part of it, whether or not you want to admit it, so shouldn't you hate me, too?"

"You're far beyond your age, Cassandra," He smiled, quietly.

"Most days, anyway."

Most days?

"You mean the days when I take off my clothes in your study and fuck you in your pool?" I whispered, seeing his jaw twitch.

He turned his eyes towards me and looked at me in the fading darkness. I stared back, but was confused by the strangely.. enthralled look in his eyes?

"You have such a crass mouth," He finally replied, lifting one hand to brush his thumb against my lips. His eyes slowly centered on them.

I swiftly caught his thumb between my teeth with a quick move.

His eyes flickered up to mine, and I carefully brought my own hand around his and watched him as I slowly sucked his thumb into my mouth. If he wanted crass, I could give him crass.

He pursed his lips a little when I tauntingly bit into his thumb, curling my lip up a little when I saw his jaw clench again. I didn't bite too hard... just enough to leave a mark.

Finally pulling his thumb from my mouth, I then kissed his palm and gazed over at him as he calmly watched me.

"You mean like that?"

He was quiet a moment. Then...

"You are by far the most complex woman I've ever met," He spoke, watching me closely.

I was going to take that as a compliment.

Crawling closer, I kept my blanket around my shoulders as I climbed up on his lap and straddled him, bringing the blanket around the both of us. He merely pursed his lips again when I leaned down to his mouth and exhaled slowly against it.

"And you're by far the most arrogant asshole I've ever met. Short of your brother."

His lips twitched, and I think he took that as a compliment as well. Especially when his hand came to my cheekbone and softly caressed it. He understood what I was trying to say.

Leaning down closer, I paused a few inches from his lips and saw how his eyes shadowed over. How his pupils expanded. It was the tiniest things. The tiniest things that made my heart race and my stomach clench when I was with him. He wasn't expressive, but his touch... the way the look in his eyes changed and made me feel what he was feeling... it was enough to set me aflame inside.

"Kiss me," I whispered.

Cupping my cheek, Harry slowly sat up. He looked at my eyes as I pulled closer, combing my fingers through his hair, dragging him closer-needing him closer.

Why did I need him so close?

Why was I going crazy, waiting for him to move?