18 - The Nymphomaniac Nerd

“There.”

It’s like something is blocking my throat and I can’t speak, I can only swallow.

“Have you ever seen me stray?” This is a question.

The second time I only nodded in response to his question.

“If you don’t have anything to say, I’ll go first.” It was about to leave when my hand caught his arm.

Our eyes met, he slightly shook his head as if to say that I should say what I wanted to say.

“T-thank you.” I was finally able to speak.

“Next time, don’t be a fool.” I immediately let go of his arm when I heard what he said.

“Then why are you here? I thought it’s not Ur thing huh?” It was a burning question as he looked over my body from head to toe.

My forehead is wrinkled because of what this man is saying.

“Fertine!” From my peripheral vision we almost looked at the one who called my name at the same time.

“You’re here Fertine, I’ve been looking for you for a while!” It’s breathing is fast, it’s obviously panting.

“Wilder?” You can see the surprise on his face when he saw Wilder in front of me, his gaze shifted to me.

“Why are you and Fertine together?” This is a question.

He just blankly looked at me and walked away.

And he actually passed between me and that man, I really don’t understand.

“Fertine!”

I don’t understand why I can’t get the look of Wilder staring at me out of my mind.

It happened about an hour ago, but I can’t get it out of my mind, it’s annoying, what’s happening to me.

“Fertine!”

“Huh?” I said because it looked like he was saying something earlier but I couldn’t understand because my brain was too clouded by the look on that man’s face.

Currently, my teammates put me in the middle when camping on the rotating sofa, which is amazing because we all fit to sit quite comfortably, since this part of the bar is quite big, maybe it’s just exclusive for us.

I guess we were sitting quite close to the part of the bar where many people were dancing.

“Fertine Come on let’s dance!” Masy said laughing.

“Hmm just you.” I promise.

“I think Fertine is ashamed!” A man laughed and said that I can’t remember the name.

“Alright Fertine, I’ll just dance!”

“Yes, show us your moves!”

“A-ah because I’m not—” I didn’t finish what I was going to say when he suddenly grabbed me. The people next to me also joined in pulling and brought me to the middle of the dancing people of our age.

The music was so loud in this part that my eardrums almost bled.

“Dance, Fertine.” Masy laughed at this.

I moved my head and just followed the beat of the beat with my shoulder but I couldn’t move my foot properly because it was stiff.

Right now I’m sure that I look so awkward and stiff in the middle of this dancing crowd.

I get scared every time someone insults me, causing me to hit other people.

I looked around to look for them and the others with us but I couldn’t find them.

Where are they?

“A-ah!” Who did this grab me?

I couldn’t walk properly because I got a little dizzy, maybe it was because of the different dancing lights in the bar and the chaotic dancers who always bumped into me.

I don’t understand what’s happening anymore, the only thing I know is that someone is still holding my arm, imitating me in Kungan.

I was greeted by the breeze when I got back to the right place and I was already inside the car.

There is no one in the driver’s seat but there is a phone. It is not locked or whatever. Because of my curiosity I picked it up and saw a conversation.

Nikki: Hello?

Cohen?

I fucking swear whoever you are. You will pay for everything that you have done!

Nikki cursed the caller on the other line without knowing that the call had ended.

Nikki: Damn it!

Cohen: I know where you are.

Really? You know where I am but you didn’t answer me when I was talking to you?

It was a butt call, Nikki. I didn’t know my phone was calling you.

I don’t think so, you dipshit.

That hurts, Nikki. I was about to say I know where you are…

In my heart.

But you hurt me in exchange for a good convo.

Oh cut it out, you mad psycho.

Nikki knew that she shouldn’t answer or text Cohen’s number again but she is frustrated. She doesn’t know what is going on anymore.

A slight pang ache on Nikki’s chest. She clasped her chest. Her knees weakened and her vision became blurry until everything went black.

Nikki was hurried to the hospital by the people who saw her lying unconscious on the ground outside the morgue.

I came here as soon as I heard how are you Nikki?

I’m okay Dad.

You are certainly not okay, Nikki. You need to stop investigating on your own. Leave it all to the authorities or you’ll follow Cohen where he is right now. Five feet under the ground!

Dad…

Don’t do this to me, Nikki. We almost lost you in the car accident so please, I don’t want to lose my daughter. I already lost Cohen who is almost like a son to me.

Tears pooled in her eyes because of her Dad’s plea. They treated him like a son, and that’s how Cohen saw them, loving parents.

I won’t Dad. Don’t worry I’ll be fine.

Oh gosh! Thank goodness you are alive! How many times would you be admitted to the hospital Nikki?

I almost got a heart attack!

Nikki’s mom rushed to her and hugged her tightly. Behind her are Jane and Louis looking worried about her condition.

How are you Nikki?

You shouldn’t have done that. Your body is getting weaker because of stress.

I’m fine Louis.

What happened? Why are you in the morgue?

It’s just about the case, nothing important.

Let’s not talk about that anymore, my little girl is fine. If you ever do that again, I will not forgive you.

Nikki pursed her lips, her eyes remained on her parents, she threw a glance to Jane and Louis who was staring at her, confused.

How come I never saw Cohen’s body?

Everyone’s eyes widened with shock.

What?

I don’t think that is a good thing to talk about Nikki. You are not okay. That’s the reason that brought you here to the hospital.

I just want to know Mom.

What made you think of that? The detective?

I knew it!

She is nice, Mom. She’s not biased at all.

Biased?

She’s the one who suspected you for killing Cohen.

We talked it out Mom. She is not biased so I’m not eliminated as a suspect.

She is only saying that to make you trust her.

No Jane. I know she is telling the truth.

How do you know that?

I feel it.

What? You can’t trust your guts Nikki.

I can and I will Jane. She is not a bad person, Agent Nicholson is only doing her job.

Are you sure? Maybe she is hiding something.

Stop it Jane, she is not psycho or weird. She wants to solve the case as much as I do.

She wants to solve it to incriminate you Nikki.

Why do you want Nikki to hate Agent Nicholson so much Jane?

What? No… I’m just concerned about Nikki. See she’s not sleeping anymore because of that Agent Nicholson.

She is getting into her nerves, into her mind! Soon you’ll find out she is also manipulating you, the next thing you know you are behind bars.

She even went to the morgue just to find out what happened to the tech guy, she went too far just to help me so please don’t speak ill of her anymore.

Fine, but don’t tell me that I didn’t tell you so.

Cut it out, Jane. We all care about Nikki but it’s hard for her to process everything that is happening. We need to stick together and go through with this.

Louis reached for Nikki’s hand and squeezed it.

We are always here for you, Nikki. I know you’ll go through with this.

Tsk, you are just biased as if you didn’t–

I said cut it out Jane!

Guys please…

Don’t fight anymore. It’s my fault that this happened to me okay?

I wanted to know who stole Cohen’s phone and we found out that the tech guy knew where the phone was located but he died before he could even tell it to Agent Nicholson.

What?

All of them said at the same time, except Jane who doesn’t have any reaction on her face. Nikki noticed it but she shrugged it off. Maybe Jane is mad on how Louis treated her a while ago.

Nikki told them about the updates on Cohen’s case.

Even though she was talking to Louis and her parents she didn’t let her guard down, she constantly threw glances in Jane’s direction who was fidgeting on her seat.

Jane?

Huh?

Are you okay?

Jane’s eyes are watery, is she about to cry? Louis sat beside her.

Hey are you alright? I’m sorry, okay? I just want you to quit pushing Nikki to hate on that Agent who is clearly trying to help us.

She gazed at Nikki, their eyes met eye to eye. She avoided her eyes and whispered something to Louis. Nikki becomes suspicious because of her actions.

Aren’t you supposed to stay home Nikki?

Huh?

Well, you had an accident but you are here working.

Nonsense. I’m better now, thank you for your concern Ashton.

Even though the doctor doesn’t want to discharge Nikki from the hospital, she insisted on leaving.

Her parents didn’t allow her to go back to work since she is unstable because of Cohen’s death but she refused to agree with them.

Nikki’s eyes remained on Ashton. He didn’t see Ashton at Cohen’s funeral.

He wasn’t there even if they are sort of friends. Cohen and Ashton used to go out every Friday to drink at the bar near our workplace.

Ashton?

Yes?

Why didn’t you come to Cohen’s funeral?

What do you mean funeral?

Nikki’s brows furrowed confused to what Ashton asked.

Who died?

Cohen, you did it yourself.

What? Cohen didn’t die. You did.

What? What are you saying Ashton? I’m here. I’m alive.

No, you are the one that died Nikki.

Ashton grinned at him, trying to taunt her.

No, I’m alive! I didn’t die.

I didn’t die! I’m alive!

Nikki jumps on Ashton’s lap and grabs his collar and pulls him closer, he shakes him while screaming.

I didn’t die!

I’m alive!

Nikki!

Nikki, stop it!

Nikki gasped as she glanced on her right side, she looked back to Ashton, both hands raised, a foot away from her. Sanna stared at her, confused and worried about what was happening with her.

Are you okay?

What happened?

Sanna pursed her lips. Everyone in the office is staring at her, some are whispering and chuckling.

You started screaming to Ashton that you are alive.

That’s real?

I… I did that?

Yes, he is really terrified of your right now. I thought you were going to attack him.

Why would I do that?

He threw a glance to Ashton who was sweating coldly.

I… I’m sorry Ashton. I didn’t know, I didn’t know what was going on with me.

I thought you were talking to me and then you told me that I’m the one who died.

I wasn’t even talking to you Nikki.

Ashton’s voice croaked. Nikki swallowed hard. The scene she made caught everyone’s attention.

Everyone! Go back to work! Nikki is just stressed out! Don’t worry she will be fine. Now go back to your work and no chit chats or I will tell it to the management!

Sanna smiled at her but Nikki knew she was faking it, she knew Sanna is also scared of her.

I think you should go home for now Nikki, get some rest. Maybe it was your medication. You are starting to see things that aren’t real, hearing something that is not there.

No… I’m not hearing anything. It’s just…

It’s okay Nikki. I understand. You need to rest.

But—

Please Nikki? It’s not safe for you to work yet.

Okay. I’ll leave. I’m sorry.

On the way home she decided to walk home instead of riding a car. Even she herself is weirded out by what happened. It felt real, Ashton talked to her.

Is it just in her mind? Maybe it’s really her medication, she is hallucinating. Sanna was right to ask her to leave for acting that way.

Nikki? What happened?

I was sent home.

Why?

Hallucinations.

What? Hallucinations? I made sure to the doctors that your medicine doesn’t have those side effects.

But it did Mom. I scared Ashton and I had to go home. It’s for the safety of my coworkers and for the peace of my mind. I don’t want to talk about it now, I just want to rest.

Alright, Nikki. I’ll call you when dinner is ready. I cleaned your room and put the boxes under your bed, I arranged them according to their sizes.

What boxes?

There’s a lot of boxes under your bed. Some are scattered under the bed. I had to clean it Nikki.

I don’t remember having boxes under my bed.

Well, it was there Nikki. You don’t need to look it up now just go get some sleep okay?

Alright Mom. Thank you.

Nikki went upstairs, headed to her room. She didn’t think much of the boxes her Mom found.

She layed in bed and looked at her phone, she opened up the photos and reminisced the moment she and Cohen shared.

I wish you were here Cohen.

Life is better when you are with me.

Nikki watched they’re last videos together, happily hugging each other. Laughing and kissing.

Why did you leave me Cohen?

Why did you leave me alone?

You told me we are going to be together forever. You told me you’ll be here with me.

You promise me you’ll never leave my side, Cohen.

Nikki talked to the phone while watching the videos.

But you did. You left me…

You broke your promise to me Cohen.

Tears fell down Nikki’s cheek, she didn’t mind the tears, she cried and wept for Cohen’s loss.

I wish I could be wherever you are Cohen.

If I could only be with you…

Nikki was desperate, she wants to be tih Cohen again, she wants to feel his touch, his kiss and his love.

She opened their messages. She read all of it from the very start.

Even though she was in pain while reading their exchange of sweet messages she continued to read it, as if she was numb to the pain of heartache.

She stopped reading the recent conversations. The guy who stole Cohen’s phone is not texting her anymore. For sure he knows that the tech guy knows his location so he stopped.

Nikki stared at Cohen’s contact profile. It’s like her finger has its own mind that it clicks the call button.

She didn’t bother to end the call, it was ringing and she waited for someone to pick up the call until she felt a vibration coming under her bed sheet covers.

When the ringing ended, the vibration was gone. Nikki stood up and called Cohen’s phone once again.

She immediately put her hand under the bed sheet cover to find out where the vibration was coming from until she felt a cold metal on her hand.

She pulled her hand under the bed. Her eyes turned round as she saw what it was. Her mouth is wide open, her name showed up on the phone, notifying that she is calling.

Nikki? What is going on? You were silent in your room and I got so worried so I hurried here—

Her Mom’s eyes landed on the phone on her hand.

What is that?

It’s Cohen’s phone.

I was about to scroll up when someone cleared his throat.

“W-Wilder?” I looked at him in wonder.

What is this man doing and why am I in the passenger seat, he’s actually right next to me.

Wait whose car is this? From him?

“What am I doing here? Is this your car?”

“Why did you bring me here? What was your trip? Did you intend to insult me?” I asked him one question after another but he couldn’t answer a single one.

“Why Don’t You Answer My Questions?” I asked him annoyed.

“How can I answer your questions if your mouth continues to talk?”

“I didn’t know you were so talkative and aggressive.” He woke up and promised to remember the last thing he said.

“Do you like me that much?” This is a serious promise that made my blood boil.

“W-what are you talking about? Are you crazy?” This guy makes me feel hot!

What kind of heat do you feel?

Wait, what are I thinking?

It’s because of anger, not what!

Stomach in. Breathe out.

I need to calm down.

“Can you just tell me why I’m here now. Because if there’s no good reason, I’ll go back inside.” Calm down I promise.

“Your going back there? What, are you going to dance so awkwardly again?”