29

“Don’t you like the food?” He asked. “Hmm?” I look at him. “You are not talking.”

“I’m really big.” I promise. “Okay.” He said.

We went silent for a second.

He took the washcloth and put it in the sink.

I remembered something in the sink.

“C-can I ask you something?” I will ask.

He turned to me, waiting for me to continue what I’m saying.

“W-why are you doing this Wilder?”

He stared at me for a minute. I look down, pressing my index fingers nail and my thumb.

I lost hope that he will answer me.

Fertine. Know your limitations.

Seems like my mind is right all along.

It’s just a one night stand.

He would never like me because of me.

“I like you.”

My eyes widened. I lift my head and look at him. I just said that he will never like me but he did.

“But..I-I don’t understand.” I said. “Me, either” he chuckled.

“I just woke up one day.. wanting to see you. Wanting to have your attention.. wanting to kiss you and craving to have you.” I swallowed hard.

“I’m always conscious on how I look when you are there. I can’t help to gaze on you. I don’t know what you did to me.. but only you can make me feel nervous, sweaty and.. hard.” My lips parted when he said the last word.

“I know it sounds crazy, Fertine. Especially when I saw you change to a hot chick when I bought you clothes.. and lastly when you danced in that crowd. Only you stand out among the pretty girls there.

I felt the warmth in my cheeks again.

We stay silent again.

“I-I don’t know what to say..” I said looking down again. I saw his foot walking towards me. I felt his warm palm caress my face and lift my chin. “You don’t have to say anything. Everything is new to me too.” He stares at my eyes and looks down at my lips.. and dampens his lips against mine. He pulled away. “Let’s just stay this way.”

After what happened at the kitchen, he cleaned the dishes, I offered help but he won’t let me do a chore. So I asked him about my stuff, he told me where it is. When I found it I checked my phone.

Lowbat.

I asked for a charger and charged it in his room. But then I saw the phone again. Why the heck is he keeping this?

I opened once again and swore that I will ask him this time about it.

Nikki stared into the ocean. Sunset is about to come and she is sitting alone on the shore of the white sand beach.

Jane: Where the hell are you Nikki? Why did you leave without telling us?

Do you know how worried your Mother is? Don’t be like this. Cohen’s life ends but not yours.

There’s still hope, Nikki. Please message me, or reply to your Mom. She is really worried. You don’t want to lose her aren’t you?

Don’t threaten me with that Jane. I will come back once I find myself. I don’t want to be a burden to Mom. I can’t let her see me like this.

Nikki ran away from her home. She was lost. The only way to find peace within herself is to be one with nature. That’s what Cohen taught her.

Jane called her but she declined. Instead of replying to their messages and calls she gaze at the waves of the sea.

Narration: Flashback

I don’t know why you always want to go to the beach, Cohen. It’s crowded and humid here.

Nikki said as she put a picnic blanket on the sand.

Beach is the only thing that calms me besides I want to enjoy the sunset with you.

Cohen smiled at her. Nikki stared into Cohen’s eyes. His deep blue eyes glistened as he looked at the ocean.

I like the sunset but why would I want to go to the beach when I’m already drowning in your deep ocean eyes?

Cohen laughed.

I should be the one throwing pick up lines Nikki.

Tsk. It’s corny. I know you don’t like it.

I don’t like it.

Nikki pouts.

I love it.

I love you…

Narration: Flashback Ends.

Tears pooled in Nikki’s eyes as she stared into the ocean.

The ocean is beautiful, Cohen. It reminds me of you.

I wish you were here with me…

Narration: Tears rolled down her cheeks as she looked down and cried her heart out. Her tears poured, each drop falling to the ocean full of their memories.

Nikki didn’t flinch when a warm arm wrapped around her. For a second she assumed it was Cohen, he used to hug her from the back but she knew who it was. She wept even more knowing Cohen will never come back.

It’s okay, Nikki. Cry as much as you want.

Pour your heart into the ocean.

Let it go, Nikki…

Why did he have to die, Louis?

Why him?

He is a good person!

He is loved by a lot of people!

He puts everyone else before him… why did he take him away from me?

Why?!

Nikki…

Louis hugged her tightly. She cried on her shoulders. She heard a scream coming towards their direction.

She felt someone hug her. She is sure it was Jane and her parents. They knew where she went. It’s Cohen’s favorite place.

It has been three days since the day she cried her out to the ocean. Nikki’s friends and parents tried their best to keep her company so she wouldn’t feel alone. They are at the ice cream shop to cool down.

Try this chocolate chip mint ice cream Nikki. It’s their best seller!

It tastes like toothpaste, Jane.

No it doesn’t! Why don’t you try it before you judge it?

I don’t really like it. Not my type of flavor.

Tsk. So you are going to stick to cookies and cream ice cream forever?

Heck yes! There is nothing wrong with sticking to something forever Jane. Unlike you who always want to try new things.

So? It’s better to find new options.

Just because it’s new doesn’t mean it’s better.

Nikki’s eyes squinted. Why does it feel like they are talking about something else rather than the ice cream?

I’ll try both.

Really? But chocolate mint chips are Cohen’s favorite flavor.

Nikki stared at Louis. She is right. It’s Cohen’s favorite flavor. It’s been a long time since she ate it with him.

What are you doing Louis?! Do you need to bring that up? How freaking stupid are you?

What? I didn’t mean to! It just slips out of my tongue. I didn’t intend to—

Tsk! Damn you! We are trying to make Nikki feel better. Not make her sad!

I’m sorry Nikki. I don’t know what happened to me. I remember it and–

Buy her something else now! We are heading out.

Jane scooted over and opened her phone. Nikki can’t help look over her shoulder and peek at what she is doing. Her head tilted as she noticed a group conversation where she is not included.

Who are you talking about?

Jane shrieked.

Huh?

Are you talking to a new guy?

Nikki wanted to ask about the group conversation but she has a feeling she will lie to her for some reason.

She scooted away from her. Jane doesn’t want her to see it. She wants to know but she doesn’t want it to be obvious that she knows something.

No. I wasn’t. I’m just opening it to know what time it is.

Nikki nodded that she knew Jane was lying. Why does she need to lie? What was the group conversation all about?

Alright. Can you get me something else in the ice cream shop? You know that Louis is a mess when it comes to flavors and you know me better so…

No worries I’ll get it for you Nikki.

Jane was about to leave when pulled her.

I can hold your phone for you.

Huh?

Well, your hands will be full and it’s going to be hard to carry the ice cream cups.

No it’s fine Nikki. I can handle it.

Jane smiled and walked inside.

Nikki squinted her eyes. Something is wrong with her and she needs to find out what she’s hiding from her.

Come on Nikki, smile a little!

Nikki forces a fake smile.

Hmm, close enough to your genuine smile but try to live a little. This is a birthday party now a pity party.

Jane invited Nikki to Carl’s birthday party. It’s his co-worker and friend. Since he is wealthy enough, he invited a lot of co-workers and asked them to invite their friends over.

Nikki was adamant about it but she went anyway, she is worried about her parents too. It’s hard to see their child struggling to live a life.

Drink up!

Louis appeared behind Nikki holding four cans of beer.

Here Nikki, chug this up and let loose a little.

I don’t want to drink Jane.

Come on, Nikki! Just one can of beer and I won’t ask you to drink again.

I really don’t want to drink Jane besides no one’s gonna drive both of you home.

It’s okay! We can call an Uber, don’t mind it!

Just drink one, Nikki.

Nikki took a deep breath.

Will you guys leave me alone if I drink this one?

Yes! Just drink it. We will leave you alone.

We’ll flirt with guys right there!

Jane and Louis laughed. They are already drunk but they’re still chugging more beers.

Hey…

A tall bearded man approached Nikkk as soon as Jane and Louis left her in the corner of the room in the kitchen.

Hi.

How are you?

I’m okay.

Uh… what are you doing here?

What?

Nikki asked, she couldn’t hear anything because of the loudspeakers.

What are you doing here alone?

I’m not alone. I’m with my friends.

Really?

Yeah.

Are they fun?

What?

Are they fun? Unlike you who is boring.

Nikki raised her brows to the man.

Excuse me?

You’re a boring shit!

Hey! That’s not how you talk to a lady. Leave her alone.

Another man appeared beside her. Nikki threw a glance at him.

Tsk. This party sucks!

The bearded man threw his beer cup and left. Good thing he didn’t insinuate a fight or this party will be ruined because of her.

Are you okay?

Yeah. Thank you.

You shouldn’t be here alone. There’s a lot of people out here who are constant jerks. Go with your friends so you don’t have to deal with them alone.

I’m fine.

Alright. I’m Cohen by the way.

What?

Nikki’s eyes widened.

I’m Colton, you?

For a second Nikki thought he said his name was Cohen, maybe she misheard it since it kinda sounds the same.

Nikki.

She smiled a little.

Do you wanna dance?

Not really. I’m not into dancing.

Fine. Let’s just watch the party together.

You don’t have to stay with me Colton, that guy was right I’m boring.

Do you have a boyfriend?

Nikki stared at the guy for seconds before answering.

Yes.

I have a boyfriend.

Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t know you have—

He is dead.

I’m sorry what?

He died.

Look, he is right there.

Colton’s eyes widened when Nikki pointed her finger behind his back.

I… I got to go.

Nikki chuckled. This is the first time he laughs genuinely since Cohen’s death. He is not really there. He can’t see him. There’s nothing but air.

Nikki left the kitchen and sneaked into an empty room in the house. She locked it and opened her phone.

I never really understood why you like parties so much Cohen. We are completely opposite.

Nikki went back to her old habits and messaged Cohen’s phone.

I hated parties…

I don’t like beers and crowded places but you love to be the center of attention all the time. I had to be there with you.

I’m at a party but you are not here.

I miss you Cohen.

Nikki?

Nikki?!

She heard Jane and Louis behind the door knocking. How did they know she went inside?

Are you here?

Gosh! Why did you have to leave her Jane?

I didn’t leave Nikki, we did! You want to flirt with that cute guy, not me!

Oh come on! Why is this door locked?

Is someone with you Nikki?

Maybe she’s not here.

Nikki stood up, she leaned forward to hear them better.

Let’s look somewhere else.

Wait!

What?

I need to archive our group conversation with Cohen.

Huh? Why?

Nikki was about to unlock the door knob when Jane mentioned about the group conversation.

Just to be sure. I think Nikki saw the group chat.

How? Why are you opening that group conversation?

I told you not to read the messages there again. You should delete our group chat.

Nikki shouldn’t know about that.

Nikki’s heart thudded fast as she listened to them. No doubt that they’re hiding something from her. Louis knows it all and she decided not to tell her.

Nikki opened the door right after they left.

What are they hiding?

Cohen was in the group chat. I wonder who is also in the group chat with them?

What are they keeping from me?

Nikki! There you are. We thought you went home without us!

Nikki faked a smile.

No. Of course not. Friends stick together right? They don’t lie with each other.

Jane and Louis looked at each other.

Hmm, yeah.

We don’t keep secrets.

Yes we don’t. So what drugs are you on? Part drug? You are acting weird!

Jane laughed.

No… maybe I’m just drunk.

With one beer?

You need to drink more beers to help your alcohol tolerance!

Heck yes with more alcohol!

Thirty minutes passed and Nikki tried her best to give Louis more alcohol so she could get her phone since Jane deleted the group chat on her phone.

Jane decided to go home, as she got her thing inside the house. Nikki carried Louis inside the car and reached for her pocket.

Damn it. What is your password Louis?

Nikki got Louis’ phone but she couldn’t unlock it. She tried to put the date of her birthday but it didn’t work.

Nikki? What are you doing with Louis’ phone?

CHAPTER 10

Jane appeared on the driver seat staring at Nikki, waiting for her answer.

Nothing.

Are you sure?

Yeah. She dropped her phone so I took it and checked to see if it’s broken or not.

Hmm, okay. Get in the car. We need to get you home.

Why are you here Ms. Vanderburgh?

I need to get Cohen’s phone.

Well I guess you didn’t go to therapy.

Mock me all you want Agent Nicholson but give me Cohen’s phone.

I can’t give you evidence Ms. Vanderburgh. Why do you even need it?

So you could text yourself and pretend you are the dead person?

I didn’t pretend. I didn’t text myself. I just need to see something on his phone.

I can’t do that Ms. Vanderburgh.

Why?! Won’t you help me? Even for once?

I did. I helped you when you told me your boyfriend’s phone was stolen. What did it get me? Nothing. I was a laughing stock for helping someone delusional.

I’m not delusional.

Then act like it.

I know that you have a group chat with Cohen. Why do you have that?

Why don’t you want to tell me? Why did you delete the group chat?

Nikki please.

No mom, they are lying to me! I don’t know if you guys are really my friend.

No friend will keep a secret like this, especially in this situation!

No one’s going to speak?

You are still keeping these charades even if I already knew?

What kind of friends are you?

We are sorry Nikki.

We didn’t mean to hide this from you but it’s for your own good.

I’m sorry Nikki, I can’t tell you.

My own good? How is that for my own good? Am I going to die once I found out what it was?

Tears pooled in Jane’s eyes while Louis is trying to get to her but she keeps on stepping backwards.

Tell me the truth!

He was about to propose.

What?

Cohen was about to propose to you that night.

But he didn’t get a chance to do it because the accident killed him.

That’s the reason why we have the group convo Nikki. He was planning to propose to you.

He decided to create a group chat so we can message without you noticing since we are always together.

You know about this Mom?

Nikki’s mom nodded.

Damn it. What the heck is this?

Maybe I’m just drink. There is no way all of this is legit.

I shook my head and took a deep breath.

When I went downstairs I saw the selected clothes in the living room. He couldn’t fix that when he was drunk. I sat on the sofa and looked at other clothes.

I’m sure that all of this is expensive. Even the shoes I tried were so expensive, how could they be? I check what’s inside the other paper bag. My eyes widened when I saw the pastel pink gucci shoes that I like in the shop!

He bought it too! I don’t know how I will repay all this to him. Or is my body the price for all this? It’s ugly to think like that.

I shook my head and looked back at the shoes. It is so beautiful. I have something available on Monday. Good thing it’s Friday. I don’t have classes on Friday. Only once did our professor trip. Does Wilder have a lesson now? Maybe it’s not because I’m with him or he’s absent?

I never thought of that.

My fingers find their way on my lips.

I remember his soft lips on mine that night. Even before, he didn’t like changing his way of kissing. Gently mixed with chills.

I put the shoes back inside the paper bag. I left it there for now.

I look at the pool, maybe it’s nice to swim there today because it’s a bit hot in the morning. I walk towards it.

I approached its edge.

I saw Wilder standing at the end of the pool, staring at me. I look at him and smile.

Her eyes traced the contours of his chiseled jawline, marveling at its sculpted perfection. The sunlight danced upon his flawless skin, bestowing upon him an otherworldly glow. Every feature seemed meticulously crafted by the hands of a divine artist, from the gentle curve of his cheekbones to the faint dimples that adorned his cheeks, like secret whispers of charm.

His eyes, oh, his eyes! They were deep pools of mystery and allure, shimmering with a thousand untold stories. She found herself lost within their depths, as if they held the secrets of the universe, waiting to be unraveled. The way he looked at the world with a mixture of wisdom and curiosity ignited a fire within her, stirring her soul and awakening a thirst for knowledge.

But it wasn’t just his physical appearance that entranced her. His presence was an enigmatic blend of strength and tenderness, like a delicate balance between a raging storm and a calm sea. With every word he spoke, his voice resonated with a melody that echoed through her very being, leaving her hanging on each syllable as if it were a precious gift bestowed upon her alone.

The way he moved, with a grace that defied the laws of gravity, held her spellbound. Each step was poetry in motion, as if the world conspired to create a symphony of elegance just for him. Time itself seemed to slow down whenever he was near, allowing her to savor every second of his captivating presence.

In that moment, she realized that his beauty was not confined to his outward appearance alone. It radiated from within, emanating a warmth that touched the hearts of those fortunate enough to cross his path. He possessed a rare charisma that effortlessly drew people towards him, like moths to a mesmerizing flame.

And so, she stood there, completely and utterly transfixed by his beauty, unable to tear her gaze away. In his presence, the world transformed into a breathtaking tapestry of wonder and admiration. For her, he was a living masterpiece, an embodiment of beauty that transcended the boundaries of the ordinary, and she was but a humble admirer, forever captured by the allure of his magnificence.

He walked towards me towering me now when he stopped in front.

“Are you thinking about me?” He chuckled while asking.

“N-no, no.” I felt the warmth on my cheeks again. “Really? Your cheeks are saying you are.” He chuckled again.

“Are you thinking of what happened last night?” He asked. I look at his face to see if he is going to laugh or something but it’s also serious.

Even before I could speak, it preceded me. “Last night was amazing.” He stared at my eyes. I can see lust in it. “I’m sorry if everything happens so fast.. I can’t control my self.” He added.

I swallowed.

I remembered what happened. I slightly shook my head to get rid of the scene.

“So what now?” I ask here.

He held my waist and pulled me closer to him. Our faces are so close to each other.

I was assuming for another sweet kiss not until he turned me around and pushed me in the pool.

When the head was raised in the water, it was his turn to jump. The water splash and it was in every place now. The pool is not that deep, it’s just… up to my neck and shoulders.

He swam towards me and pulled my waist closer to his chest. His lips touch mine. I sucked his lower lips and he did the same thing on my upper lips.

I know that I’m aware of this but I feel like I’m a pro when it comes to kissing because of Wilder. Such a good kisser. I learned quickly from him. I tried to slide my tongue inside his mouth, he let it while kissing me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck while he was working his way on my back. Drawing circles then to my breast.. slightly squeezing my nipples. “Hmm..” I moan in between kissing. I saw him smiling while doing it. He likes it.

Even when I’m in my pajamas he can do that.

His kiss travels to my neck and plants small kisses in them for a second while his right hand gets inside my pajama and he is rubbing his fingers on my clit with my panties on.

Because we were both wet, you made me feel even hotter or maybe it’s his body’s warmth. I can feel my pussy getting wet, even when we are in the water.