Relapsed

The next day, Arthur arrived late to his office because he woke up quite late. He couldn't sleep at all until the wee hours of the morning due to insomnia that couldn't be relieved even if he swallowed several pills at once. Arthur knew that if he took too much medicine, he could kill himself. But he had to suppress a splitting headache to endure temporarily.

His breath hitched when he arrived in the elevator. The room spun around him rapidly and he immediately closed his eyes with a groan. He was nauseous and dizzy, a sure sign that he was at his limit. The pain in his head still persisted because his nerves were constantly tense and the rest of his body wasn't much better. He could feel the darkness tug at his consciousness and knew he couldn't fight it forever. He staggered slightly when he arrived at the door of his office room. His legs were weak, his bones screamed loudly and his stomach was also in a lot of pain.

More or less, Arthur knew that he couldn't keep hiding this. Lately he has been too busy working and thinking about many things. Looking directly at the tablet affected his damaged eye state and now it was radiating to his other nerves, making his muscles tense up.

Evander would not be pleased.

Even Dave had warned him not to work too hard. Usually headaches can be relieved by painkillers, but those are not working now. His eyes had become darker than usual, as if they had returned to the way they had been when he first started going blind.

"There's a meeting today at eleven. Will you attend it or me?" Evander walked into Arthur's office room when he arrived and looked at a work agenda.

"I will come." Arthur answered while closing his eyes, his breathing shallow and quick.

Evander couldn't have been oblivious to this, but Arthur wanted to do his best not to look like anything had happened to him.

"You can rest if you're not feeling well. I can take your place." Evander offered, but Arthur refused.

When eleven o'clock finally arrived, Arthur reluctantly swallowed painkillers and waited for the medicines to take effect before heading into the meeting room. Employees who are involved in a big project and will do a presentation have gathered there with a complete discussion material. Arthur sat in the main chair as leader of the meeting and Evander who sat next to him helped him to read some files.

"I agree with the idea you are referring to. You can leave the details of the work to Evander and I will evaluate it more deeply later," Arthur said to an employee who had just made a presentation.

He stood up to explain some things on the projector screen. The direct beam from the device shone into his eyes and the headache he had been suppressing began to return. And he started sweating a little.

"Are you alright?" Evander approached Arthur who had just fallen back on his knees when he was about to stand up. He turned to the nearest person. "Hey you, dim the screen."

After the screen dimmed Arthur tried to stand up again, this time the bitter taste of bile in his stomach rising to his throat and he felt nauseous. Without warning, all the pain he was trying to shake off from his mind surged causing his body to sway. Apparently the painkillers had decided to completely wear off in the last five minutes since he had been in the middle of a meeting.

Beside him, Evander was horrified to see blue veins popping up on the backs of his hands as he gripped the edge of the chair.

"Arthur, can you hear me? What happened? Are you in pain?" Evander asked anxiously.

As a pair of hands held him down, Arthur let out a breath and the pain on his face became clearer. All the strength he might have drained away, like water in a broken glass. His head throbbed violently with nausea that didn't let up after a while. He slumped against Evander, struggling to stay conscious—but ended up vomiting his lungs out on the floor.

"Fvck! Arthur!"

Arthur heard Evander's frantic voice behind him and tried to warn the man to stay calm. He tried to reach out, noticing that his hand was trembling so violently that it fell as quickly as it was lifted.

"... Arthur, it's ok. I've got you. Just breathe with me."

Arthur didn't know since when he had difficulty breathing, it was like a rope was binding his lungs and his bones were breaking. "Evan—"

Various overlapping sounds began to appear, Arthur couldn't digest them any more clearly. And he didn't know why, as he looked up, the world swirling out of control around him, then he heard nothing.

***

The first thing Arthur knew when he woke up, he was lying in a hospital bed. There was a rhythmic beeping sound from something near his head, as well as the cold feeling of the IV drip from the tube embedded in his hand. Taking a deep breath, he could smell a strong disinfectant in the air as he slowly opened his eyes. He was not surprised to see the darkness that surrounded him, this time it was even completely flawless. Pitch black.

Arthur realized he was not alone in that place. He heard footsteps and a few times hands touched his skin, or just gave him an injection of medicine and fixed his blankets, then left.

It's not a pleasant thing to wake up blind. Even how often he experienced the same thing, he still wasn't used to it. He wondered how long he would have to experience this pain. Is he going to die? He began to hesitate to leave this world since Livy was in his life. At least, he didn't want to die now.

Not now. He didn't even want to die anymore.

The drug coursing through his system had probably messed up his brain so he thought of such ridiculous things. He became extremely tired as soon as a chill mixed with his blood, started to show a reaction.

Soon, fog filled his head and he couldn't think straight anymore. No matter how much he tried to stay awake, he couldn't fight the dense fog in his mind. In the next instant he was completely submerged in darkness again.

Maybe his soul went not too far.

The next time he woke up, Arthur felt a presence beside him speaking in a low voice. Arthur couldn't hear them, but he knew who these people were. As soon as he shifted, it seemed he had distracted the crowd from paying attention to him.

"Are you awake, Boss?" Dave's cheerful voice sounded. He didn't move feeling a finger touch his hand. "Do you hear me?"

"Is he really awake this time?" It was Evander's voice.

"He's been in and out a few times but I'm sure this is the last one. Boss?"

Arthur opened his eyes weakly. They were as dull as ever and all Arthur saw was darkness.

"I can't see anything." Arthur was surprised to hear his own voice rough as he said.

Dave wasn't surprised to hear this as if he had expected it. He said, "It's okay. Just relax."

A straw was placed to his lips and Arthur drank slowly. "How long I have been out?"

"Well, enough to scare Evan to death," Dave chuckled.

"Are you talking about yourself?"

A warm towel was placed on his forehead, letting his tense mind calm down. From the gentle, calculating touch, he knew it was Evander.

"Who was the one who cried his eyes out in the corner while Boss was being treated?"

"You?"

"Hey, don't you want to admit it and be embarrassed? Come on, how many years have we known each other, do you think I'm going to make fun of you?"

"Then who almost kicked the doctor out of his act, and walked in instead?"

Arthur could feel Evander smirking as he said this. Even Dave was still replying with ridicule and fighting over who looked the most worried. Arthur sighed, feeling tired just by hearing this. He closed his eyes and groaned. "Would you two quit your yapping?"

Dave laughed quietly. Seeing the deep frown on Arthur's forehead. "Do you feel pain anywhere? And don't lie to me, this is for the examination."

The pain in his head was still throbbing, but less so than last time, he said, "A little dizzy."

"How are your arms and legs? And are you feeling sick or something?"

"It can be handled," he lied. His hands were shaking, clutching his blanket tightly.

Dave knew the lie. "I can't give you a strong dose of morphine, exactly not allowed, I'm sorry. You just had a drug overdose."

Arthur was a little taken aback. He really overdosed?

"Well, we pumped your stomach. That's fine now. The nausea shouldn't be as bad as before." Dave said casually, before his voice became firmer, "So can you not do it again? If you really want to die, why don't you just jump off a tall building, huh?"

"Maybe he wants a painful death?" Evander replied.

"Do not rush." Arthur let out a rather shallow breath, grinning slightly.

Dave seemed tired to joke again. He took out the syringe. "Boss, it's about time you thought about my suggestion."

This time Arthur did not answer.

"Is there really no other way? His therapy keeps failing again and again before his eyes even fully recover." Evander sat on the chair tiredly and his hair was a little messy.

Dave shrugged. He drew liquid from the vial before drawing its contents into the injection tube. After flicking the needle for a while he injected the liquid through the IV tubing.

Like the two of them, Arthur also wondered why this therapy always failed and he always went back to the beginning again. Dave actually had repeatedly suggested him to do surgery, but he never wanted to do it. Due to the incomplete facilities in his country, Dave suggested to do treatment abroad, that's what made him hesitate.

Especially now that Livy is with him, if he leaves, he will leave Livy alone.

"It won't help take the pain away completely, but it will at least ease it a little." Dave pulled out the syringe and put it away.

"Thank you." Arthur winced as a chill ran through his blood.

Dave sighed. "Boss, you see, your eye muscles are strained because you are tired. That's why you relapsed. I repeatedly reminded you not to work too hard. Why are you so fvcking stubborn?"

Evander glanced at Arthur, who was expressionless even though he was currently blind. "Then what can you do now?"

"I can't give him those medicines and therapy anymore. It's too dangerous. His body won't last." Dave is desperate.

"I'll survive," Arthur said firmly. "I can't show Livy this condition. Do more therapy."

"Not for the moment."

"Why?"

"Why do you say?" Dave's voice rose. "Boss, you can't cooperate with your medication, that's why you always fail to recover. If you continue like this, no medicine will be able to cure you! Do you get it? I know you are older and don't like being contradicted by anyone. But I'm also tired of doing pointless things."

Dave's anger was understandable to Arthur. Even he who usually would argue back, now silent.

"Now you just rest. That's what you need right now. Everything else, no need to think about it!"

After saying that, Dave left, he didn't heed when Evander called him.

"He's really mad," Evander sighed, chuckling dryly. "You know he never reacts like that unless it's serious."

Arthur remained silent, staring blankly at the endless blackness in his eyes. He felt a tap on his shoulder and his eyes moved. Even if he didn't see anything.

"I'm going back to the office. You rest first."

Arthur nodded. After hesitating for a moment, he continued, "Sorry ... to trouble you."

Evander's eyes smiled. "Do not hesitate."

***

Actually, Evander didn't leave right away, because he found Dave standing on the balcony railing and looking so lonely. There was a heavy weight on his back that Evander could feel. Because right now he felt the same way.

"Don't jump even if you feel frustrated." Evander joked.

"Are you crazy? Jumping from the second floor won't kill me, but I will be fvcking paralyzed. Why should I trouble myself?" he grumbled.

Evander smiled at his response and intended to accompany him for a bit. He took a cigarette case out of his pocket and offered Dave. "Want to?"

It had a brand name on it as soon as Dave glanced at it, he still knew that this was Evander's favourite.

"I thought you had stopped," he sneered.

"You just never saw me smoke." Evander lit a fire for the cigarettes Dave took out before picking one up for himself. "At least I smoke when I'm feeling agitated."

"Are you now?"

"A little."

Dave smiled scornfully. He puffed on a cigarette and exhaled smoke that formed a swirl of smoke in the air. Before suddenly remembering something and tilting his body. "What do you think, if I tell Livy?"

"Do you want Arthur to be mad at you again?"

"Geez!" Dave's face became ugly again. "I mean this, Boss loves his little wife very much, we can ask her to persuade him to do the surgery. Good idea?"

"You tell Livy about this and you will die. That's all I can say."

"Hey, don't you think this is the only way?"

According to Evander, he actually thought of it this way too. However, Arthur didn't even want Livy to know about his current condition, Arthur didn't want her to worry. Now that he thought about it, he understood why Arthur had allowed Livy to live in the dormitory. Arthur's eyes often recurred when the treatment failed, he definitely didn't want Livy to see him like this.

"That therapy is completely useless, you know!" Dave blew smoke again.

"I'll think of another way to persuade him."

Dave glanced cynically. "Good luck."

The two of them didn't say anything after that.

The wafting cigarette smoke immediately mixed with the cool air and flew towards the sky before finally disappearing. They both know what's on their minds. Both of them had felt tired and wanted to end this predicament. Even though the current state was much better than before, there wasn't much change. Arthur was still living life under his father's gaze and to be honest they hated it.

Even though Arthur has amassed many assets since he learned that he is only a tool for his father. He who operates as a money machine in the Finnegan family, many times wants to get out of the family, but there are always things that hold him back.

They both didn't know what was holding him back.

"Just taking him out of the damn family is so hard," Dave muttered.

"He has his reasons. I'm sure he's thinking of a way to get out of that family."

"They purposely blinded him, why defend himself there to suffer?"

Right.

Why did Arthur have to live in a place that made him suffer?

If Arthur had wanted, he could have reduced the family to smithereens. He has the strength for it. Even after he knew that his father's young wife had caused his mother's death, how could he still endure seeing those people? Who are also slowly trying to kill him as well.

The woman looks very elegant and innocent, she is actually very cunning.

"By the way, don't be mad at him anymore. You see, he didn't argue with you this time." Evander changed the topic suddenly.

"That's why I left. I could get out of control and say nonsense. It's better to be silent. Who told him to be so stubborn anyway?" Dave snorted.

Evander laughed. "Well you know how he is. You would never even understand what he was thinking. Neither would I."

... to be continued ...