Chapitre 9

The sun was slowly sinking towards the horizon. Traveling on the back of Alpha Eros didn't just have benefits.

I could hardly observe nature without my eyes starting to water. My hair had to look like a bird's nest by now. But the worst were my hands.

The cold had eaten into my fingers and turned to ice. They had already turned an angry red. I just waited for Alpha Eros to finally stop for the biting pain to pass.

But over the hours he hadn't lost his pace. At this rate my hands would just fall off before midnight. But I didn't dare to say anything. A werewolf's patience was very sensitive.

I didn't want to risk my luck.

The trees separated and a lake appeared. A waterfall gushed in from a huge rock on the other side. Alpha Eros slowed.

Finally.

He came to a halt in front of the shore where the reeds were bending in the wind. Alpha Eros knelt and I slid down his side.

I put the backpack down and ran to the water. It reflected the golden light and I wanted to jump in.

But my hands protested at the cold. I rubbed them together as fast as I could, but nothing helped. They were already icicles.

"What are you doing there?"

I turned around. Alpha Eros stood behind me, dressed. My teeth chattered.

"I-it's cold."

He drew his eyebrows together.

"Come."

We walked around the lake and only the sound of the waterfall accompanied us. Then I discovered where Alpha Eros was headed: A small cave.

We walked in and he put the backpack down.

"Stay here."

With those kind words, he went outside and left me. It would have annoyed me if I wasn't so damn cold.

I snuggled closer to the black cloak that smelled of Alpha Eros and lay down. At least there was no wind here.

Traveling was less fun than I thought. It was cold, uncomfortable and slowly an emptiness began to eat at my stomach.

Now I was hungry too.

I yawned and my voice echoed off the walls. A little sleep couldn't hurt. I closed my eyes and snuggled up against the wall of the cave...

"Ephilia."

I jumped up. Alpha Eros stood in front of me and gestured for me to follow him. I stretched my stiff limbs in the air and walked out of the cave.

The night sky loomed over us like a tent, with stars and the moon looking down on the earth. The rushing water reflected the silver light like thousands of diamonds.

Had I slept so long again?

A fire roared a few yards from the cave, and the smell of roasting meat wafted through the air. My mouth watered and my stomach protested loudly.

I ran to the fire and squatted down. I would have liked to stick my fingers in directly so that I could feel them again. A thick goose bumps flowed through my body.

"Here."

Alpha Eros handed me a thigh and I bit into the tender flesh. I almost groaned at the taste.

"Hanke."

"I beg your pardon?"

I swallowed it all.

"Thanks."

I nibbled everything I could get my hands on. My stomach slowly filled up. I put the remains aside. The dancing flames brought new movement to my bones.

"It is beautiful here."

Suddenly something pushed me backwards. Before I could react, I landed in the foliage with Alpha Eros overhead. My breath caught.

Did I say something wrong?

"I don't think you understand your situation here."

"What do you think?"

My heart pounded faster in my chest and my cheeks grew hot. A smile spread across his face as if he had been waiting for this moment.

"If you hadn't broken the rules, I wouldn't have had a reason to take you north. I would have done it anyway."

"W-what are you talking about?"

Alpha Eros laughed.

A tingle ran over the back of my head. His hands pinned mine to the floor, but I didn't stand a chance anyway. His eyes alternated between blue and black. His wolf fought for the upper hand.

"If you were a werewolf, you would have understood it from the first second. But apparently the moon goddess does have a sense of humor after all."

"I do not understand."

"Of course not. Maybe it's better that way. How many creatures do you think, human or werewolf, could disobey my orders and get away with it?"

I swallowed.

"No one?"

"Quite right. No one."

I could not resist.

"Then it was high time."

Alpha Ero's eyes turned pitch black.

Wrong answer.

He leaned down to my neck. The vulnerable skin began to tingle as he breathed against it. I was frozen. My heart jumped one after the other. No one had ever come so close to me.

"WHAT AM I DOING TO YOU?"

His body heat settled over me. My eyes closed of their own accord. Part of me just wanted to surrender.

The wolf above me.

Suddenly something rustled behind us. Alpha Eros spun around, growling. My excitement turned to fear. He seemed to sense it. His eyes searched the dark forest.

"STAY HERE."

I nodded. He got up and disappeared into the darkness. I was left alone with my heart racing and the fire reduced to a glowing heap of ashes. Shadows flickered across the rocks.

A howl sounded from the forest.

The wild.

"Alpha Eros?" I asked cautiously.

What was going on there? Suddenly a wolf flew out from between the trees. He howled as he skidded across the floor, kicking up the earth. I held my breath.

If he didn't hear me...

His eyes darted to me. He could still smell me. He sprinted towards me at full speed with a mad twinkle in his eyes.

I shouted.

As he prepared to leap, I kicked the glowing embers into the air with my boot. Orange sparks flew through the night. The wolf whimpered as they brushed his fur and started wildfire. He shook himself.

Then a force brought him to the ground.

Alpha Eros.

Five more wolves ran out of the woods.

I frantically searched the ground for a gun. The best I found was a stick. I picked him up.

Alpha Eros fought four wolves, but another leapt at him. The blood pounded in my veins.

With a battle cry, I charged at him and hit him as hard as I could out of the air. The cracking of ribs and howling raised the hairs on the back of my neck.

Alpha Eros did the rest.

All wolves lay defeated around us. But we didn't have a break to catch our breath. A pack of wolves followed his predecessors. They rushed towards us out of the forest.

Fear shimmered through me.

Alpha Eros stopped in front of me and I knew exactly what he wanted. His eyes directed me to finally ascend. I jumped onto his back and he immediately started to move. We rode through the cloudless night.

The savages pursued us. They hungered for blood for their fallen comrades.

My hair fluttered around my face, blocking my rear view. But I heard the panting of the savages. I narrowed my eyes and buried my face in Alpha Ero's fur. He snorted as if to calm me down.

The sounds of the wolves slowly faded away, as if they had given up the hunt. I breathed a sigh of relief. But Alpha Eros did not stop. His paws continued to pound the ground.

"They're gone."

He snorted but didn't stop. I sighed.

Another night without sleep.

We had left the fur and the backpack behind. At least I was still wearing my coat and shoulder bag.

The warmth from my fingers began to leave again. The cool wind completely surrounded me.

This was going to be a long night.

~~~~~

My eyes burned with fatigue. My hands kept losing their strength. I couldn't see where we were going.

The darkness enveloped me in utter ignorance. Only the crackling of leaves told me we were still in the wilderness.

My fingers throbbed and all I could feel was pain. Every time I exhaled, a cool mist formed in front of my eyes.

I narrowed my eyes.

For how much longer?

Everything in me resisted the waking state. Any strength had left me hours ago.

"A-Alpha?"

My voice was shaking.

Before I could do anything, my fingers slipped from the fur. I slid down the side and tumbled into something cold. After a few turns I came to rest.

My body was paralyzed. I only felt the snow on which I had landed. We must have made it north. My eyes lowered.

i just wanted to sleep

The tiredness crushed me.

A hot breath touched my face. Then I felt strong arms lift me up, away from the cold winter ground. Warmth surrounded me and held me tighter.

I couldn't think, couldn't speak, and could hardly move. Someone seemed to be speaking to me, deep, hasty words. But I sank into the world of immobility.

***

WEDNESDAY OF THE 9TH MOON COUNT:

I was floating on clouds. A heavenly smell filled the whole room. I would prefer never to wake up again. It was warm and cozy. Only the sun beamed up to me and shone relentlessly on my face.

I sighed.

A rustle made me stop. I opened my eyes. Red eyes stared at me.

I screamed, loud and shrill.

I pressed myself against the headboard of the bed. The face in front of me grimaced and a loud scream made my ears pound.

We yelled at each other before I ran out of breath.

Silence enveloped us, only the gasp of my breath filling the air and the rapid pounding of my heart. The girl in front of me stared at me with wide eyes.

The blood-red pupils were wide with fear. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. We must have scared each other.

With a loud growl, the door sprang open.

Alpha Eros stood in the doorway with a deadly expression on his face. He took in the whole room as if looking for danger.

"Lucia, what are you doing here?"

The girl jumped up from the bed. Then he approached me. I pushed myself further back.

"What's going on here?" I asked.

I held the sheets in front of me protectively. My eyes darted between the girl and Alpha Eros, who was swiping his hair.

"We're in the Ice Claw Pack."

The girl's soft voice filled the room. I looked out the window.

White.

Everywhere white.

As if the mountains and trees had been sprinkled with powdered sugar. I got out of bed and took the sheets with me. My feet tapped across the wooden floor to the windows.

Below were houses, huge log houses as far as the eye could see, all surrounded by forest. It wasn't a contiguous city like the mountain shadow pack. Everything was spread out, hidden between tree trunks.

The Ice Claw Pack.

A huge winter mountain range stretched out on the horizon under a brilliant blue sky. The snow glittered like endless splinters.

untouched.

I placed my hand against the cool glass as my breath condensed into mist on it. It was wonderful. I had never seen so much snow in one place. The mountain range seemed to have no end on the horizon.

How far did they go?

I tried to open the door to the balcony, but it was locked. Alpha Eros must have taken precautions.

A loud rumble from outside drew my attention to my stomach. Heat shot into my cheeks. I was surprised that there wasn't a huge hole on the spot. My legs felt soft as pudding.

"Lucia, go downstairs. We'll be right there."

"Very well, Alpha."

Lucia, the girl with the red eyes and the black pony, left the room. I looked at Alpha Eros. We stared at each other. There was a tension in the air every time I looked into his eyes. Something inside me drew me to him.

I dodged and looked down at my hands. They had assumed a rosy tone again. A few hours ago they had been icicles. Someone must have warmed them up.

My gaze slid back to Alpha Eros. He saw my confusion, but somehow it seemed to infuriate him.

"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked, walking towards me.

"What do you think?"

I backed away until my back was pressed against the freezing window. Alpha Eros came to a stop in front of me. He must have been waiting for this; an opportunity with me alone.

Suddenly he clasped my hands in his and wrapped them in warmth. His grip was so light, like he was afraid of hurting me. His brows were drawn into a line as he glared down at me.

"It wouldn't have taken much longer and you would have lost your fingers. Is that what you wanted?"

Was he worried?

"Of course not."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

I wanted to yell at him, but Alpha Eros was right.

It was my fault.

I looked down as I felt the lump in my throat. He took my chin between his fingers and a cold, hot wave swept over my body. His deep sea blue eyes studied me intently.

"You were afraid."

I glared back reproachfully. My heart started beating furiously.

"Yes, I had. In case you forgot, I'm not a werewolf. I wasn't blessed with strong bones and a warm skin."

The sarcasm dripped from my voice. Why did I have to justify myself at all?

Alpha Eros growled as if he didn't like my words. His stature completely towered over me. He leaned down so I could see the gray speckles beginning to glow in his eyes.

"I'm going to tell you two things now: First, as long as I'm around, no one will get their hands on you but me, got it? And second, if you're cold, you tell me. If you're hungry, I want to know. I'm your alpha from now on and that means I'm responsible for you. No matter what."

My mouth was open. I could only look at him in bewilderment. The sarcasm caught in my throat, not daring to come out.

But Alpha Eros wasn't finished yet.

He leaned down towards me. His lips were only millimeters from mine. My eyelids fluttered shut.

"I'll ask you one last time, Ephilia : are you rebelling against me as your alpha?"

His voice was a deep boom that made my insides tremble. My heart was jumping up and down with excitement, and I couldn't tell if it was out of fear or ecstasy.

With Alpha Eros, the lines blurred.

My eyes shot open and met his, who were watching me with satisfaction.

I shook myself.

I couldn't believe he almost kissed me. And that I wanted it too. It must give him immense satisfaction to see me squirming under his gaze.

But I wouldn't give him more than that.

"Don't worry, I'm not rebelling against anything or anyone. But my stomach does, in case you just didn't hear the call for help. I'm hungry."

Alpha Eros touched his forehead and sighed in desperation.

The tension between us faded. I didn't know what he had in mind with me, but I wouldn't make it easy for him. He let go of me and headed for the door.

I breathed a sigh of relief, but watched him skeptically. He always seemed to launch an attack on me when I was weakened. And then he dumped me if I didn't give him what he wanted.

Alpha Eros was frustrating.

He turned the doorknob and stepped into the hallway. I stood rooted to the window. He turned and looked at me expectantly.

"I thought you were hungry."

I hesitantly took a few steps towards the door before following him through the pack house. How come he always regained his composure faster than I did? As if he could just ignore the tension between us. That wasn't fair.

We came to a staircase that led to the entryway with dark wood furniture and glass windows that let in the sun. At the bottom of the steps the girl with the red eyes stood as if she had been waiting for us. Lucy.

"Everyone's waiting."

What was going on here?

"Who's waiting?" I asked.

"The pack."

We descended the stairs and a heavenly smell of spiced meat and gravy filled my nostrils. The hole where my stomach used to be was happy. A reservoir of saliva pooled in my mouth.

As we walked down the hall to another door, I heard muffled voices; a whole sea. Before I could object, Lucia opened the door in front of us. Alpha Eros stood behind me.

The voices died away and hundreds of pairs of eyes swiveled around to look at us. The pack sat at long rows of tables and all eyes were fixed on me. I took a step backwards.

My head bumped into Alpha Ero's chest and he placed his large hand on my shoulder. He pushed me forward so we walked through the rows.

Then on the other side of the room I saw the rise on which stood a long table. A few wolves sat there, only the middle remained free. That's where Alpha Eros had to sit.

I only recognized one figure.

Gamma Johnson.

His blond hair was neatly pulled back, but his expression was sour. I guess he wasn't happy to see me again.

It was mutual.

We went up the small flight of stairs. I stayed in the corner while Alpha Eros stepped in front of the table.

"This is Ephilia, my mate."

My heart sank into my pants.

I beg your pardon?

And with that, a fire broke out in the pack.

***

"QUIET!"

Alpha Ero's growl silenced all chatter. I stood petrified in the corner of the stage.

companion.

He had just said mate.

Everything made sense now. He had saved me because I was his mate, for no other reason. My eyebrows went down as I felt a pang in my stomach.

"There's no reason to get excited. We were successful in the West and were able to protect the Shadowmountain Pack. Tonight we're going to party!"

The cheers of the crowd pounded in my ears, but the truth still hadn't seeped into my brain.

I was the mate of Alpha Eros.

He turned to me, his eyes giving nothing away. But a feeling told me that he was annoyed. He pointed to a chair. A babble of voices filled the room as the food was carried in.

"Sit down."

His voice left no room for discussion, and even though my hunger was masked by uneasiness, I followed his direction. He settled into the throne-like chair next to me. I sat between him and the girl with the red eyes.

Lucy.

A woman placed a bowl of hot potatoes and a roast beef in front of us. Both were still steaming and giving off a hearty smell. Alpha Eros took the knife and cut out a piece before placing it on my plate.

"Thanks."

My voice was hollow. Alpha Eros paused for a moment before filling his own plate. I stared at my wrists. Only now did I notice that they were newly connected.

What had just happened in my unconsciousness?

Why hadn't I figured out that Alpha Eros' behavior could only be explained by the soul connection?

i was an idiot

"Eat."

I wanted to throw the food at his head, but he was already edgy. I took the cutlery in my hands and started to cut the food. It melted into a thousand flavors in my mouth.

My appetite had returned.

And with the appetite came an anger that began to seethe within me. I was surprised that no steam came out of my ears. If I could get hold of Alpha Eros alone, without an audience, then he would get something from me.

Mate, I would show him what a mate I was!

"Is everything ok?"

Beside me, Lucia drew my attention away from plans for revenge. Her red eyes examined me cautiously.

"Yeah, why shouldn't I be fine?" I replied.

"Your heart. It's pounding in your chest. Everyone here can hear it."

Her voice was low, but I felt Alpha Eros harden next to me. Lucy was right. I needed to calm down.

I had to save my anger.

"Does the pack always eat together?" I asked to distract myself.

Alpha Eros shook his head.

"No, only at noon."

Next to Lucia someone suddenly stuck his head out. A brown boy with curly hair smiled at me.

"Nice to meet you, Ephilia. I'm Beta Julien. Lucia is my mate."

I smiled back as I swallowed the hot food in my mouth.

"The pleasure is mine."

His right hand held Lucia's left.

"I hear you've made quite an impression on the Shadowmountain Pack. How could you keep the silver hidden from Beta Leo's eyes for so long?"

I laughed wearily. I didn't have fond memories of Beta Leo. Beta Julien, on the other hand, seemed cut from a different cloth; and at least one who was talkative, even though I didn't want to talk about the subject.

"It really spreads like wildfire, doesn't it? I would never have made it this long. My uncle kept it for me. Maybe he should have kept it longer."

I looked thoughtfully at my empty plate. Was Uncle Theo okay? I rubbed the bandages on my wrists.

The meal seemed to be about to end as several wolves got up and made their way outside. Some gave me a skeptical look.

"Come."

Alpha Eros stood up next to me and I looked at Lucia and Julien one last time.

"I was really happy about it."

I skillfully ignored Gamma Johnson as he did me. At least we agreed on that. We walked across the room, through the hubbub of voices that buzzed around us.

"Person."

"mate."

I tried to ignore the secret whispering. We left the wolves behind and headed back. I shuffled alongside Alpha Eros, his gait more akin to a military march.

When we got to the room he opened the door and let me in. The bed looked like a tornado had blown through the white sheets.

The fireplace had burned out and the desk in the corner was deserted. But the sun made the snowy landscape behind the window front glitter.

Adults chatted on the streets and children frolic in the snow. The houses in the ice looked so peaceful, as if there were no legends about wars.

I turned to Alpha Eros, who was watching me closely.

"Can I write Uncle Theo? And Lizzy?"

Relief surged through me as he nodded toward the desk.

"There's stationery and ink."

He kept walking towards me.

"I want you to stay here until the meeting is over. Can you do it or do you need someone to keep you company?"

My eyes widened and I cocked my head.

"Whats that for a question. Of course I can do it."

He walked over to the fireplace and put new logs in it. With just a few movements, a fire began to crackle. He stood up.

"Fine, then we'll go home."

My stomach tightened. My eyes lit up before fading. He didn't mean the same thing at home as I did.

Oh God.

I would sleep in a house alone with Alpha Eros. He gave me one last sharp look before slamming the door.

I took a deep breath. We definitely needed to talk, about everything. I sat down at my desk and took out a sheet of stationery. Then I soaked the gray quill in the ink bottle.

Suddenly the door banged open and I jerked around. Lucia was standing in the entrance with a huge stack of fresh sheets in her hands. I jumped up and took the folded sheets from her.

"Thanks," I said, setting it down on the bed.

Lucia went to the window and pulled out a key.

"You at least need some fresh air if you're already cooped up in here," she replied.

I heard the resentment in her voice. The corners of my mouth turned up. Lucia reminded me a bit of Lizzy. My heart sighed with longing for home.

"Thank you," I said.

A small smile blossomed on her lips and made her red eyes shine.

"But that's our little secret."

I laughed and with these words she pulled the door shut again. I welcomed the ice breeze. Lucia was really nice and she matched Beta Julien.

I sat down at my desk again and started to write. The nib scratched the paper, leaving royal blue ink. With every word to Uncle Theo and Lizzy, the pain in my heart increased.

I wasn't even here a day and I was already homesick.

I needed a distraction. The window to the balcony was wide open. I walked past the log fire, out into the cold. My breath immediately froze to a white mist and thick goosebumps tried to ward off the icy air.

Unsuccessful.

The laughter of children rang out from below, where a small group were having a snowball fight in the glittering snow. If only Tommy could be here. I shook off thoughts of home and looked longingly at the pack.

What was it like there? What was it like here, in the pack house?

I was at least on the third floor. I stroked the wood with my hands. It was icy. Climbing wouldn't work.

My eyes darted to the fresh sheets on the bed.

Lucia had said secret.

Hopefully it stays that way.