Chapitre 16

"Eros!"

The winter air swallowed my voice. The paw prints in the snow were clear, but his lead was too great. I grumbled to myself.

First Eros had told me not to leave his side and then he himself had disappeared into the forest like a madman. I sighed and made my way back to the berry bushes. I picked a handful and made my way back to the campfire.

The cloudless sky slowly took on a burgundy color as the sun and its warmth departed behind the mountains. My eyes traveled over the trees.

"Eros?" I asked uncertainly.

Damn werewolf.

A small part of me feared that Eros had just left me behind. The idea made my heart race faster. He wouldn't do that.

I stepped back into our camp.

The fire had shrunk and immediately I laid the berries in the snow and threw new branches into the flames. I sat in front of it and held my hands against the sizzling heat.

Suddenly there was a squeak behind me. I jerked around. Alpha Eros emerged from between the trees in wolf form. His eyes were fixed on me. Its teeth were buried in the fur of a lifeless mountain hare.

I swallowed.

He put down his prey and came towards me. Through the fire I could not retreat. Sitting, the wolf towered far above me with its charcoal-black fur. My breath came out excitedly. Eros bowed his head down.

I instinctively twisted mine, exposing my neck. A tremor immediately ran down the vulnerable skin, and not just because of the cold. Eros growled in approval and leaned down. His hot breath tingled against my throat.

Part of me screamed at me, terrified that a wolf was so close, but I swallowed the panic. The fire rattled pleasantly against my back. Carefully and very slowly I buried my hands in his warm fur.

I closed my eyes and leaned against him. I almost forgot that he had just left me alone.

"How about staying together?" I asked and the wolf looked at me with stormy eyes.

He pointed at the rabbit with his snout and snorted. I smiled and got up. The wolf took one last look at me before disappearing back behind the trees, taking his warmth with him.

I stretched and a deep yawn escaped my lips. The day had drained all my energy. I looked at the berries and my stomach gave a loud growl.

In a very short time everything around us had darkened and only the shadows of the fire lit up the night. I could feel the temperature dropping more and more without the sun and an unpleasant icy air spread.

I hesitated before picking up one of the mini berries and taking a closer look. She smelled of nothing.

"You can eat them," said a voice behind me.

I jerked around to Eros, who was standing before me in human form and with some wooden scabbards under his arm. He put her by the fire. Then he pulled the knife out of his pocket and walked towards the rabbit.

I refocused on the berries and hesitantly put one in my mouth. I bit them together and immediately a sour taste flooded my mouth. My facial muscles clenched in disgust.

"I didn't say they tasted good," Eros said.

"Thanks for the surprise," I grumbled.

The hunger probably had an effect on my mood. Luckily for me, Eros had skinned the rabbit and cut out the flesh. With a few hand movements it hung over the blazing fire.

My eyes burned from tiredness and only hunger kept me awake. I walked over to the green branches that I had unnecessarily broken off. The needles only pointed in one direction, the other side was relatively soft.

I laid them neatly by the fire so they formed a kind of bed. I immediately dropped onto it. I looked sideways at the flames and the flesh, which was browning and giving off a hearty smell.

My mouth watered. As if on cue, Eros took it from the fire and handed me the stick. I tore off a piece and ate it. The meat was juicy and warm and I almost groaned with relief.

It was so simple with no spices or herbs and yet I tasted all the flavors. Eros seemed satisfied and took some too. Together we enjoyed the meal in the nocturnal stillness of the fire.

I took some berries. Together with the meat, they developed their fresh, sour taste. After a few minutes my stomach was full and happy. I sighed contentedly and lay back on the makeshift bed.

I turned my eyes to Eros who was staring thoughtfully into the flames. They gave his flawless face an orange glow. As if he had felt my gaze, he looked at me.

The blue eyes captivated me.

The wind howled between the trees. My side was protected from the warmth of the fire, but my back was not. The cloak couldn't do much against the icy feeling down my spine. My body began to tremble, as if that might conjure new warmth into my limbs.

Without hesitation, Eros came over and lay down behind me. He didn't seem to mind the cold, on the contrary he chased it away.

He wrapped his strong arm around my waist and a tingle of excitement ran through my body. I dismissed all negative thoughts and snuggled into his warmth. I had to say something to break the silence.

"May I ask you something?"

"You want to ask me if you can ask something?" he replied, his eyes shining with amusement.

Offended, I soiled my arms and turned my gaze towards the sky. Immediately my grief died when I saw the infinite blackness between the trees.

Thousands of individual stars lit the sky, some bright others dim. The longer I watched, the more seemed to appear out of nowhere, looking down at us.

They were so far away and yet so close.

"Very beautiful."

"Yes, nowhere else in the world does one get such a good view of the universe."

I looked at Eros, who wasn't looking at the stars but at me. My heart trembled with excitement. I quickly turned my gaze back to the sky.

"Where do the stars come from?" I asked, raising my hand as if I could reach for them.

“We believe that stars are the souls of the dead. After they died here in the world, the moon goddess took them to the night sky. Even if you don't see them during the day, they're still there and it's never clearer than in the deepest darkness."

A drop of longing and sadness mingled in my heart. As if Eros felt it, he hugged me tighter. I felt safe with him.

"That's a nice idea," I said, gazing up at the stars.

"The brighter they shine, the greater feats they've accomplished in life," he added.

I heard the pride in Ero's voice. The branches crackled below us as I turned to face him. We both lay on our sides and looked at each other. I could listen to his deep voice all night.

"Who did you lose?" I asked.

I could see behind the hard facade of his eyes.

"That was long ago. My dad was alpha before me, but after the big turnaround, nothing was the same. I begged him to do something about Silverblood. i was young I didn't understand that he had hoped for peace. But peace never came."

His words were bitter, but his expression was calm. He was resigned to it. He wanted to learn from his father's mistakes and suddenly I understood why he hadn't let Alec live.

"Now may I ask something: where were you on the day of the big shift ?"

I swallowed, but I wanted Eros to know. I haven't talked about it in a long time. He put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him as if to reassure me.

Hope he didn't get angry.

***

"I was eight when it happened. Back then we lived outside the old capital, when there was still a capital... when there was still war between humans and wolves."

My voice was a bit cracked and I cleared my throat as if that might get my emotions back on track. Eros listened to me attentively without interrupting me.

"I remember it clearly, it was a windy day and I was playing outside in the mud. My dad always hated when my clothes were completely dirty."

A small smile touched my lips before dying.

"He came running towards me from the forest and at first I was afraid that the stormy expression on his face was aimed at me. Then I heard the first howl... A battle cry."

A shiver ran through my body. Even after almost ten years, the first howl still haunted me.

"My father grabbed me and ran with me to my mother's house. I can't remember what he said, just the frantic tone of his voice. And the fear that gripped my whole body."

The shadows of the fire flickered across Ero's face and I could see he had to hold himself back. However, his stormy eyes couldn't quite hide his thoughts.

"Then they hugged me even though I was covered in mud. I had never seen her like this before. My little self didn't understand the world anymore."

My eyes went glassy but I forced the sadness down.

“And then my mother opened a small door in the wooden floor. She gave me one last kiss on the cheek before setting me down on the cold stone. Then she closed the door behind me."

As I spoke, Ero's eyebrows continued to twist into a scowl.

"I can still remember the earthy smell and the rays of light that let through a hair's breadth of brightness. And I heard the front door slam and my parents' anguished voices screamed. I tried covering my ears, but I didn't stand a chance."

Instinctively, Eros took my trembling hands and wrapped them completely in his.

"I could only hear them thumping to the ground, silent. Just the talk of the werewolves and their footsteps on the wooden floor... And then dust from the boards fell into my eyes. One of the werewolves was standing just above the door. I clamped my hands over my mouth as if that would stop my racing heart."

Eros squeezed my hands tighter.

"I could see his head tilt down and he was staring straight at me. I couldn't escape his gaze. I could only beg him with my eyes," I said, my voice broken.

"And then, as if they had all been given a silent command, they left. The werewolf took one last, long look at me before disappearing too, leaving me alone. And after that there was nothing but silence."

Suddenly a loud growl escaped from between Ero's lips and his stormy grey-blue eyes turned pitch black.

I hadn't even noticed how the shaking had spread from my voice to my whole body. But it wasn't the cold, it was panic.

Eros rolled me onto my back with ease and lay across me. His wolf had taken control. His gaze was twisted with anger, his black eyes fixed only on me.

I felt his whole body on top of me along with the racing heart in his chest pounding furiously against his ribs. His arms were propped up next to my head.

“FROM NOW I WILL PROTECT YOU. FOREVER."

A warm shiver tingled down my back. The vulnerable part of me always felt safe when I was around Eros, whether in wolf or human form.

"Thanks. You don't know how much this means to me," I said, feeling the silver bracelet around my wrist.

Eros had never cared what I was or where I came from. He had protected me from the start without hesitation. It seemed so easy to him, although I had never made it easy for him.

I felt the bond between us tighten. A little hesitantly, I raised my hand against his cheek, which was a little rough from the growing beard.

A sad but genuine smile spread across my lips as I looked up at him.

"Thank you Eros, for everything."

A satisfied expression took over his face, but his wolf didn't want to say goodbye just yet.

"WE WILL ALWAYS PROTECT MATE."

He pushed even closer to me and something in my stomach clenched. A gasp of astonishment escaped my lips. I could feel every rock hard muscle in his body.

Lust mingled in his black eyes as he studied me. Heat flooded my cheeks and I looked at his lips.

"Kiss me," I breathed impatiently.

Eros Wolf seemed torn and I was immediately pinched by uncertainty. Why did I ask that? Maybe he didn't want to kiss me.

Ashamed, I cocked my head to the side to save myself the embarrassment. I closed my eyes. Did I really just say that? A low whimper sounded above me and a warm hand turned my head back.

His black eyes looked down at me in confusion.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING?"

"I- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

A dismayed expression spread across his face. His large hand covered my entire cheek and I leaned into his touch.

"EROS DON'T WANT ME TO KISS YOU."

"But I want it," I said, surprising myself at the desperation in my voice.

That seemed to put an end to his reticence. His lips met mine and a hungry fire erupted in me. Now I understood why Eros didn't want his wolf to kiss me.

He was stormy.

His kiss left a hot tingle all over my body along with a desire for more.

I sighed against his lips, which he answered with a growl. His hands ran down my hips and I arched my back towards him.

The fire next to us was nothing compared to the heat between us. Ero's lips left me and turned to my neck. I gasped. My thoughts were nothing in the whirlwind of sensations that rolled over my body.

I buried my hands in his hair. The growl that followed made his lips vibrate against my skin. A tremor tensed all my muscles.

Nobody has ever been as close to me as Eros, but I wanted to be close to him. I longed for it. Bittersweet sparks from his kiss shot through my nerves.

My body was weak, helpless against the emotion this werewolf could trigger in me. I would happily endure his attack.

I suddenly froze as sharp teeth grazed my skin. My eyes opened in panic. Maybe that's why Eros didn't want his wolf to kiss me.

He wanted more.

"Eros?"

My voice was shaking and I tugged his hair slightly to get his attention. He looked up at me reluctantly. His eyes shone with nothing but driven desire.

"BE MINE."

For the moment he seemed to hold himself back, as if waiting for a sign from me.

Should I stop him?

He wanted to tag me.

And what did I want?

I expected an inner protest, but the kiss had blown all negative thoughts to the wind. Eros looked down at me with so much wonder that I felt a deep tug in my heart.

I wanted it.

I wanted to be his.

Forever.

Instead of searching for the right words, I did what I thought was right. I leaned up towards him and caught his lips with mine.

He immediately returned the kiss even more energetically than before. I felt no regrets, just pure excitement mixed with a spark of fear.

would it hurt

Ero's lips followed the path down to my vulnerable neck.

"THAT SMELL..." the wolf breathed against my skin.

He licked the spot once. I could no longer think, could hardly breathe, only feel.

Suddenly his teeth pierced my skin. Pleasure mixed with pain. A squeak escaped my throat, but Eros held me tight.

Then the feeling turned and pure happiness flowed through my veins. Together with Eros I floated between earth and universe.

I couldn't form words or pronounce them, but bathed in the feeling he gave me. The joy dampened as he pulled his teeth out and looked at me. The fire gave him an untamed expression.

Only now did I hear my own gasping. My throat was throbbing and the pain was coming back. I put my hand over my neck and felt warm blood.

It was as if Eros had drained my energy. My muscles were paralyzed, shocked by the bite.

Suddenly tiredness enveloped me like a cozy blanket and I could hardly keep my eyelids open. I saw a blur of Ero's eyes turning that beautiful blue again, but it didn't last long.

"Ephilia!"

I felt my head turn sideways from exhaustion and darkness surrounded me.

***

"I'm scared Mommy," I whispered.

Despite my hands on my shoulders, my whole body was tense. Something was wrong.

The wolves came.

I could hear the thunder of their footsteps.

"Don't be afraid Ephilia. We love you forever."

She gave me one last kiss on my wet, crying cheek, even though I was covered in dried mud. Then she opened a secret hatch in the floor.

"Mom?"

She sat me in, looking down at me longingly one last time before lowering the boards. The musty smell of earth and stone enveloped me.

"No matter what happens, you have to hold your breath."

TUESDAY OF THE 9TH MOON COUNT:

Birdsong pierced the mist of sleep. But fatigue paralyzed my whole body. Not a muscle moved, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't even open my eyes.

I only felt steady footsteps and warmth on my stomach and head. Someone had to carry me. My chin rested on the person's shoulder while strong arms were wrapped around my thighs.

The memories of last night hit me like lightning along with the dull ache in my neck.

I tried to raise my hand but felt weak. I could only manage an agonized groan. Very slowly, my facial muscles thawed and I narrowed my eyes at the stabbing pain.

My arms hung down like two spaghetti, useless. Only the steady warmth that carried me held back the panic inside me.

I slowly opened my eyes.

White.

The glittering snow lay in front of us and was laughed at by the sun. I didn't feel like laughing. I felt sick like I had a fever. Only it wasn't a fever, it was the mark on my neck that had sapped all my strength.

"E-Eros?"

My voice sounded fragile to my own ears. The footsteps stopped immediately. I was glad he carried me. I trusted Eros.

Still, I felt an angry pang in my heart. It didn't come from me. I tried to raise my head to ask what was going on, but the pain made me wince.

Eros immediately sat me down carefully against a small rock and stared at me. Joy tingled through my body at the sight of his eyes.

I could see concern in them. They kept jerking at my neck. With no control over my body, I fell sideways and if Eros hadn't caught me with his strong arms I would have landed cheek in the snow.

Only now did I realize that Eros was only wearing a white shirt. He must have put his coat on me. That's why the icy wind couldn't harm me.

I wanted to protest and hand the fur back to him, but I could hardly get a word out.

The pang of anger returned.

"What were you thinking?" he asked.

His voice was strained. But no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't answer. My body didn't want to obey me.

A sea of sadness washed through my stomach. I thought Eros would be happy. Did it bother him that much that his wolf kissed and tagged me?

Eros looked at me desperately, as if at that moment he didn't know what to do. He wiped his hair. Finally he took my chin in his hands.

"Please Ephilia, your sadness is killing me. What do you need?"

The bad thing was that I couldn't answer him because my body seemed to be still asleep. My mind was all the more alert for that.

An emotional chaos bubbled up and I could only stand by and watch. Sadness because Eros didn't want to tag me, joy because his wolf did, fear because Eros was angry now and panic:

Panic about my paralyzed body like I'm locked inside myself with no way out. I could only look into his eyes but not react and that was followed only by more panic.

My heart had to be beating faster than a hummingbird's. Even the ability to speak seemed to be fading.

"Ephilia, what's going on?"

I could feel Ero's concern. He felt my body as if looking for injuries. But apart from the bite on the neck, he found nothing.

The tiredness of my body could not be fought from within. My raspy voice managed to utter only one word that took more strength than days of work.

"H-help."

My mouth closed in exhaustion and Ero's concern turned to determination.

"I know what to do."

Eros pulled the hood of the cloak over my head to protect it from the icy north wind. Then he swung me back into his arms and hugged me protectively.

"Don't worry," he whispered in my ear. "I won't let anything happen to you."

...

The howl of a storm snapped me out of consciousness. Eros was still carrying me in his arms, but the weather had changed.

The snow fell on us like heavy rain and made it difficult to climb the mountain. I was glad that the hood protected me from the cold.

Still, my body started shaking. The sky was angry, the storm deafening. But Ero's steps brought us evenly to our goal, wherever that was.

He hugged me tighter and I rested my cheek against his shoulder. Then the din instantly stopped.

It was getting further and further away. Even the snow had stopped attacking us. We had to be in a cave. It was dark, but Eros seemed to know the way.

"It's going to be okay," he whispered, but I didn't know if he was talking to himself or me.

The dull ache in my neck prevented me from reacting. I swallowed the inner panic and just focused on the warmth of Ero's muscles.

He carefully laid my body on the stone floor and began to unbutton the two coats. I couldn't see or say anything. I trusted Eros, but panic had closed its hand around my heart.

I lay there vulnerable, helpless at his mercy. The mark on my neck throbbed. He gently lifted me back into his arms. His footsteps echoed off the walls.

"Don't worry, it's comfortably warm."

Then I heard the splash of water. I couldn't protest. Eros climbed into the lake with me and warm waves surrounded us.

I slowly opened my eyes. Immediately they sought those of Eros. I couldn't decipher his firm expression. Was he still angry?

The state of shock in my body had not resolved. I was still leaning helplessly against his shoulder and could only move my eyes.

They walked to the bright turquoise water over the stone of the cave, up to the ceiling. A hole revealed the round moon, its silvery light shining down on us.

"This is a sacred place for werewolves," Eros explained, as if reading my mind. "This is where our story begins."

I turned my eyes back to him, but his gaze was on something else. I almost had a heart attack.

Across from the lake stood a massive ice statue of a three-headed dog. All mouths were wide open and looked at us menacingly. The light of the moon created dark shadows around the monster form.

I wanted to ask what the hell that was, but my body still wouldn't obey me. Impatience mixed with fear.

Ero's arms tightened around me as he stared at me.

"Don't worry, we'll break your spell first."

With those words, something happened that I never thought possible.

Ero's face moved away from mine and suddenly the water engulfed me. I could only see his blurred expression and the bright moon overhead. The wound on my neck started to burn like fire.

My immobile body simply accepted its fate while internally screaming. But not a sound escaped my lips. I tried to beg Eros, but he was too far away.

Suddenly my wound gave an impulse that shook through my body and all the water. I immediately kicked against the handle holding me under the water.

The curse was lifted, but if I couldn't breathe, I would still die.

Darkness crept into my field of vision from the sides.

No.

wanted to live

No matter what happens, you've got to hold your breath.