Chapitre 29

The first day without Eros...

I felt empty, as if my heart was being stripped from within. The tightness in my chest grew worse with every minute that passed.

The mark on my neck tingled, as if telling me to be on my way immediately. I shook my head to bring the thoughts back to the present. With every free second they wandered to the place I called home.

Eros.

Sonni didn't seem to notice my inner conflict. We headed for a house that, like the first, was buried under a hill. Bright light poured out, along with muffled laughter and the clinking of glasses.

Before I could protest, Sonni opened the door. An unusual sight greeted me along with a searing heat that settled on my chilled cheeks.

The room was filled with long, rectangular tables filled with crowds of people with mugs of beer, many men, some women. Our appearance had interrupted the relaxed togetherness.

I studied each and every face that paid me the same honor.

"My friends, this is the legendary Ephilia!" Rex called, stepping into the tavern. "Welcome her with open arms! She's been one of us at heart for ages!"

Suddenly he grabbed my hand, where the bracelet was glittering, and held it up in the air. The piece of jewelry behind the glass flashed in the licking flames. Rex's grip was firm and relentless and I wanted to break free, but a roar of applause and deafening roar froze me.

Some raised their glasses to me, others smiled at me as if they had known me for years. Nobody showed restraint.

And for the first time since the beginning of my life, I felt something I had never felt before.

Bottomless shame.

I felt ashamed that I didn't get the truth out of my mouth at that moment. I was ashamed that I belonged to the same species as these rebels. I was ashamed of everything that was wrong in the world and I didn't have the will or the strength to do something about it.

i was weak

I was a coward.

“A lost sister has returned home who has given us new hope! Welcome them!"

Rex pulled my numb body into the thick of the action, no matter the cost. People patted my shoulder as I passed, others slurred incomprehensible words at me.

My skin ruffled in disgust at the stench of beer that caked the wooden tables. The whole situation was so absurd that I didn't know what the best strategy was.

Everything in me wanted to speak the truth, but a tiny wall of fear held me back. I had always been able to maneuver my way out of sticky matters, but my luck seemed to have run out.

What would you do? would you let me live

"Here, sit down."

A large beer mug came to a halt in front of me while Sonni sat across from me. I was surrounded by rebels who were talking wildly. Drops of beer glistened in some of the beards, but their wearers didn't seem to mind.

Rex sat down beside his entourage and raised his tankard to his lips. He drained it in one gulp and wiped the foam from his mouth. Everything in me had to restrain itself from jumping up in disgust. The others roared in amazement.

"Don't let them bother you," Sonni said, the corner of her mouth turned down in disapproval. She sipped at her mug before eyeing me. "Don't you want to take off your coat?"

Damned.

"I- uh no. Maybe later," I stammered while fiddling with the coat's buttons. The shirt underneath wouldn't be able to hide Ero's mark. I had to protect it, at all costs.

Loud laughter drowned out our voices like the waves of the sea. It made me angry.

"Are you alright?" Sonni asked, eyeing me worriedly. I just nodded, unable to get anything out of my mouth. As soon as I said anything, the truth would tumble out of me and the momentary breather would be over.

Suddenly something hit the table next to me. Rex stood over me with a bottle. A clear content was floating around in it, which shimmered slightly yellowish in the flame light. He pulled out the cork and the acrid stench of alcohol bit my nostrils.

"Here, if beer isn't your thing, I have something stronger for you."

He placed some small glasses in front of us and poured the drink into them.

"What is that?" I asked.

"This, my love, is the best drink we have. Our good, homemade verbena liqueur. Or rather, what's left of it from the summer," Rex replied, and I sniffed the glass in front of me.

Spicy, lemony, fresh.

A small voice whispered in my ear not to touch it. Without hesitation, Sonni took her glass and tilted it back with her head. She made a face and shook herself.

"You can talk about anything. We're really like family here," Sonni said. "You don't have to be afraid of the wolves. We've been here for almost ten years and nobody made it across the verbena fields. Silverblood didn't even notice us."

I raised my head.

"There is a wolf that verbena cannot harm, nor silver."

Suddenly it became dead quiet around us. I hadn't noticed that some prying ears had been listening. The eyes bored into my back.

"Tell us more," Sonni said, her expression twisted with concern.

Fun.

If I wanted to talk about a deadly werewolf, they would suddenly all listen. I grabbed the glass in front of me and downed it without hesitation. In addition to burning my throat, it tasted of lemon and a hint of honey resonated with alcohol.

It flowed down my throat into an empty stomach, which clenched in irritation.

"Don't you know the legend of the werewolves?" I asked.

"Yes!" shouted one of the crowd. "The devil sent them to subjugate us humans!"

"Not correct!"

A long silence followed my reply. The alcohol released my inhibitions and I jumped onto the wooden bench so I could see everyone.

“The moon goddess brought them to earth. But before that, she did something terrible, something none of you can even imagine in your wildest nightmares!"

I admitted I sounded very dramatic. Maybe the alcohol spoke in me. But for some reason I kept going. I wanted them to hear me, to know the truth, the real evil.

"The first werewolf, the primeval wolf! He's the reason I escaped! Nothing can touch him, nobody can defeat him!"

My gaze swept over the wide-eyed rebels who hung on my every word. Neither of them moved and a spark of satisfaction surged through my body.

"A monster with red eyes and silver claws! Even the werewolves are afraid of him!"

That was all I could think of as the alcohol began to cloud my brain. I flopped inelegantly back into my seat. To my astonishment, the glass in front of me was filled again.

I downed it without hesitation as the fresh taste numbed the ache in my heart. A reverent silence had settled over the hunters who had been so joyful before. At least I could take away their arrogance.

I caught sight of Sonni's expression, who was staring at me in amazement, as if she were seeing me with entirely new eyes.

"Tell us more! Tell us your story! Tell us how you showed it to the wolves!"

With every word from the crowd, my anger doubled. The liqueur finished me off and I felt nothing but heat. I jumped back onto the bench, struggling to keep my balance.

"I didn't show anyone! I'm just a normal girl somehow trying to survive in this upside down world! When are you going to figure that out?!"

'But Rex saw it! He told us!"

I tried to make out who had spoken, but the crowd blurred before my eyes into a mass of beards, beer mugs, and benches.

I climbed onto the table. My arms were stretched out wide for balance. Reverently, the rebels made way for me.

"You naïve beings! You've been hiding here for too long and forgot what it's like in the real world! The bracelet was a gift from my mother who died in the big swing ! I was trying to protect my family with that!" I yelled, thick emotion smearing my voice as I thought of Tommy.

How I missed him...

"When Silverblood attacked us, I was in the forest. I'm not a warrior! I escaped back to town with Tommy, but Beta Leo had already seen the silver! I didn't rebel! It was my desperation that drove me to do it!"

My words began to stutter towards the end, but I had the rebels' full attention. I paused dramatically and savored the silence to the fullest.

It was time I broke her worldview. I didn't waste a single thought on consequences or reactions. The truth could not be concealed.

"And yes, I would have been stone dead long ago if it wasn't for one person!"

I took a deep breath, my head seemed to be stuffed with cotton wool.

"Alpha Eros!"

Pure passion resonated in my voice as if fueled directly from my heart. The faces were filled with astonishment. My words must have shocked them so much that they even forgot their beer for a moment.

"Yes, you heard right! Evil Alpha saved my life more than once! And I've been living here in the north ever since! And if the primeval wolf hadn't separated us, I would now be happy in his arms!"

With that the silence was over.

***

Loud contradictions conquered the whole room. The rebels shouted at me, their voices tangled in an incomprehensible muddle. My ears were ringing at the volume.

A small smile tugged at my lips. At least my heart felt a little lighter. A pitcher flew at me in a high arc and rattled on the table at my feet. The beer ran on my shoes and dripped through the wooden boards towards the floor.

"Liar!"

"Traitor!"

A fresh surge of anger fired my heart and I spread my arms. I've had enough of those simple-minded drunkards.

"I'm supposed to be a traitor?! Tell me, dear rebels, which of you has left this hiding place in the last nine years?!"

The bawling died down slowly while I pushed the broken glass off the table in front of me.

"In the last nine years, which one of you has fought a werewolf? Which one of you has ever lived among them?!"

The silence was my answer.

"No one! You are cowards! You fled after the big shift and dream of your big revolution, but what are you doing?! You guys sit around getting drunk on cheap beer and telling tall tales about fake heroes!"

My throat felt completely ripped open by the pain opening black holes in the depths of my soul. Tears pooled in the rims of my eyes.

"You are not a last stand or courageous rebels or brave hunters! You are traitors who have abandoned your homeland and your fellow human beings and you know: I don't care at all! Do what you want!"

I needed a brief breather before I raised my finger.

"But alas, someone calls me a liar! Live your illusion, your dream of brave heroism! I haven't even been here a day and I'm already fed up with the double standards! I'm going back to where I can really make a difference!"

I jumped down from the table and the only sound in the room was the shards of glass crunching under my shoes. I put one foot in front of the other and blinked a few times. My eyes burned uncomfortably.

I felt everyone's eyes sticking to me, but nobody stopped me. I rammed open the door and stepped out into the cold and darkness that night had brought. A shaky breath escaped my lips.

But I didn't stop. I trudged through the snow towards the border, finally towards Eros. If you try to stop me! I've seen worse.

The rebels were so blinded they would be their own downfall.

I stumbled clumsily between the trunks, oblivious to my surroundings. Suddenly hectic footsteps sounded behind me. An arm wrapped around my shoulder and jerked me around.

I looked into Sonni's deep brown eyes. A pained expression lay on her forehead.

"Is that true?" she whispered, and a cloud escaped her mouth.

"I'm many things, but I'm not a liar," was all I said.

Sonni looked down and her braid with the soot-black hair fell over her shoulder.

"I also lost my mother at the time. I can hardly remember her. My father caught me and we fled..."

Her voice trailed off and the pain of the past was written all over her face.

"I've never seen anything but this forest. I've never met anyone other than the rebels."

"Then come with me," I said, tugging at her arm. Maybe I could convince her of the truth if she saw it with her own eyes.

"II can't," Sonni replied. Fear. Nothing else was holding her back.

"I know how you feel. I also felt that at the beginning: hate against werewolves, but I quickly learned that hate is useless. You'll never be happy like that in this world, because whether you want it or not, the werewolves are a part of it, just like us humans."

The inner conflict that raged in Sonni was reflected openly in her eyes. She released her arm from my grip and took a step back. Although this gesture dampened my hope, I smiled sadly.

"You gave them quite a kick in the ass," she said, returning my sad smile. "But I can't leave my father alone."

I nodded.

"I understand that. If you change your mind, you know where to find me."

"Here I have a present for you. It's not much, but maybe you can use it," she said, rummaging in her pocket. A tiny, golden, narrow-bladed dagger emerged.

Sonni placed it in my palm where it fit perfectly. Then she wrapped hers around me and hugged me. I smiled and put the small gift in my pocket.

"And the wolves really didn't do anything to you?" Sonni asked skeptically and I laughed.

"Farewell Sonni and thanks for everything," I said, turning around.

I had said enough. I just wanted to go home. Exhausted, I trudged on through the snow towards the border.

"Ephilia?" Sonni's voice echoed through the night and I turned to her one last time. "Please be careful."

"I'll send you a letter if you want," I said to calm the young rebel. She nodded and waved at me. Loud shouts rang out behind her and she looked around hastily.

The rebels must have woken up from their drunken state of shock and their astonishment had given way to indignation. With their bawling, they disturbed the peaceful night's sleep that had settled over the forest.

I should probably hurry up.

"I'm stopping the others! Goodbye, Ephilia!" she yelled, and went on her own way.

"Thanks, Sonni," I whispered and smiled. My intuition told me that she would do the right thing, despite her father and the other failed characters.

I turned back and took a deep breath. I stalked in the direction my heart was pulling me. My walk turned into a run and soon I was sprinting back into the pack I had escaped from.

Alpha, there is a character.

All his movements froze when he heard Julien's voice. Beads of sweat ran down Ero's forehead. He was training harder than he had ever trained before, but the pain in his chest was pushing beyond previously insurmountable limits.

Demetrius is just waking up.

Eros wolf snarled and immediately abandoned the training and stormed to the pack house. The orange sun slowly approached the horizon of snowy mountains.

Ephilia has been gone too long. He wouldn't be able to hold back the monster in his chest for long before it would cross the border without fear of pain in search of the other part of his heart.

Ephilia.

Eros threw open the door and sprinted up the stairs. Demetrius heartbeat sounded stronger than yesterday, healthier. Now it was time to get more answers.

Whoever caused it would roast in dungeons for all eternity, because death was too kind. Eros stopped at the doorstep. He looked at the old werewolf who was tossing and turning in the bed.

A healer and Julien stood beside him and together they watched as Demetrius squeezed his tired eyelids shut before opening them. The light blinded him and the fog of confusion lay in his eyes.

Eros knelt by the bed and took the wolf's fragile hand, which had forged hundreds of treasures, created countless inventions and enriched all lives here in the pack.

Whoever had done this to him would suffer.

"Demetrius, how are you?" Eros asked, listening to the heartbeat slowly returning to a normal rhythm.

Suddenly the old man's eyebrows shot up to his hairline as if the memories had flashed back to him. His eyes darted around the room as if he were looking for something.

A rasping cough escaped his throat and he tries to sit up. Eros helped him and put a pillow behind the injured man's head.

"You're safe here, but what happened?"

Demetrius eyes settled on Eros.

"Primal Wolf..."

That couldn't...

The word rang in his head as his thoughts put the pieces together.

No.

Suddenly it all made sense, the lack of tracks despite the prints, Ephilia's escape, and the deaths of so many fine warriors.

How long had this monster been in its pack, and where was it now? He had scoured the entire territory himself, looking for any unusual clues.

The primeval wolf.

A creature intended to be defeated by the Lycan, but the Lycan was... a monster itself. There had to be a way. Ero's gaze slid back to Demetrius, who suddenly grabbed his arm.

"Tea..."

His voice was raspy and he coughed again. His eyes were wide open with fever.

"Shall I get him some tea?" Julien asked, unsure of the old man's status. Eros shook his head and lifted a glass of water from the bedside table to the old wolf's chapped lips.

Demetrius grabbed it and poured the cool liquid down his throat. Another fit of coughing shook his body.

"Tea..."

Thoughts raced in Ero's head, searching for meaning, but the old man got there first. Stars must be dancing in front of his eyes because he blinked frantically.

"No! Stay with us!" shouted Eros.

"Tea... poisoned..."

With these words, unconsciousness pulled him under its spell again. Eros crouched next to him completely speechless while his brain worked like mad.

Demetrius didn't mean...?

Eros jumped up. He stormed out of the room, leaving Julien stunned. Eros flew down the stairs to the kitchen, which he was surprised to find deserted.

Where was Karen?

He shook his head and followed his nose until he was holding a green can decorated with a bow. He tore off the lid and smelled it. The strong aromas blocked out all other smells as he tried to distinguish them.

Apple, hibiscus, deadly nightshade...

Inside, he was annoyed that he didn't know more about people. He'd seen Ephilia eat an apple before, but hibiscus and deadly nightshade?

He took the box with him on the way to the library. He quickly lit the torches that cast their flickering shadows on the bookshelves. It wasn't a second before he had a thick book in his hands: Plants and their Toxicology. Eros skimmed the headlines until he came to a drawing of a green plant with black berries.

The Deadly Nightshade

The deadly nightshade belongs to the nightshade family and was discovered by humans to be poisonous...

His wolf growled, shaking the entire underground library. Ephilia had drunk poisoned tea in front of him.

Her hallucination, the nausea, her pain, everything had an explanation. Inwardly, he thanked Demetrius for his wisdom before opening the connection to his Beta.

Julien, find Karen and take her to the dungeon immediately.

He could hear a few words of astonishment, but another, frantic voice found its way into his head.

Alpha, you have to get to the limit! Luna is on the other side!

Eros stopped hearing as his wolf took control of the body. A relieved growl came from him. Was she still injured?

The thought of her blood in the snow drove him on. He swept through his pack on the way to the border. The wind blew against him, carrying a whiff of her scent. As he passed the warriors, they bowed their heads, but Eros only had eyes for the person running toward him across the vervain field.

"Eros!"