Chapter 52: Nostalgia

I did not know how long I was unconscious, but I only woke up when I felt a familiar caress that brought chills down my spine. My wolf even alerted me and kept chanting 'mate' in my mind like a broken record.

"Val...?" I was greeted by pitch-black darkness while I felt a thumb gently caressing my face. "Valerian... Is that you?"

I closed my eyes when I felt his lips planted on my forehead. "How are you doing, honeydew?"

I shed tears in the darkness as soon as I heard that voice. "Honeydew..." I stretched out my hand to touch his face. "Is that really you?" I sobbed.

"Yes." He gently wiped my tears. "My poor Lilith... I kept giving you heartbreak..." he said softly as his voice croaked.

I sniffed and held his face, shaking my head. "No... No, you are not. It is my fault in the first place, Valerian." I hugged him. I hugged him so tight I did not want to lose him. "I said I would save you, but things had gotten..." I couldn't continue my words as I sniffed his scent.

Ah... The scent of hyacinth flowers reached my nostrils—that highly fragrant smell was sweet, earthy, and robust.

"And I keep dying, which made you sad and hurt. Please forgive me, Lilith. I made you all the work..." He hugged me back and kissed my wet cheek. "You keep crying because of me... I am such an asshole..."

"No..." I panicked and held his face. I couldn't see what he looked like, but just touching his face to feel the contour of it was enough for me to know that it was really him. "It is my fault... because I was born as an Alpha slayer..." I placed my forehead on his. "It is my fault, my love..."

"And my fault, too..." he whispered before he kissed my neck. "I should have saved you back then..." I cried more when his voice sounded like he also had regrets. "Will you love another man again, Dominixe?"

"No! No!" My heart dropped when Valerian got out of my embrace. "No! I do not want to love another man again! Valerian—"

"I will always love you, honeydew." He held my hands before they kissed them. "But I think... it is time to let me go. You still have something to do, right? You still need to bring down your household?"

I held his hands. "Don't leave me, please... Valerian, take me with you. Do not be so cruel!" I begged and hugged them. "Please... stay with me. I was already hurting when you died. Can't you be more considerate of how hurt I am?" I sobbed more.

I heard him sighing. "Alright... Promise me that you will not k i l l yourself again, Lilith," he whispered, caressing my hair.

I slowly closed my eyes as his voice made me succumb to my sleep. I couldn't promise that I wouldn't be able to do that again. "I love you, Valerian... I really do..."

"And I love you, my future wife. I love you more than you can ever imagine." His voice croaked as he kissed the side of my head. "I love you forever and ever. You are my world. I am sorry for hurting you, my dear Lilith..."

"No..." I muttered, already half-sleep. "It's my fault in the first place..." That was the moment I could no longer keep myself awake. "In the next life, let's find each other again, Valerian..."

"Hmm!" He started humming. "This time, I will be the one who will find you. I will always find you, Dominixe. Remember that..."

"Honeydew..." I peeled my eyes open, reaching for someone, but I held another man's face instead. "What...?" I gasped upon seeing Niccolo, who looked surprised at my action.

We both stiffened while I was on the bed while he was sitting beside me. That was when I realized that his knuckles were on my cheek, stiffened.

I squinted my eyes before placing my hand down and jerking his hand away from me. "Are you fuck!ng harassing me?!" I couldn't help to exclaim angrily as I got up and met him face to face.

"Harassing you? I am not!" Niccolo stood up and cleared his throat.

"Then, why the hell are you sitting next to me? Why are you holding my face?"

"Why are you holding my face?"

"I asked first! Do not respond with a question! Answer it properly!" I growled, feeling offended at this man. Just seeing him was enough to make my blood boil. I held my hand when I felt like my world was spinning and gasped when I felt a cloth wrapped around my head. "What... is this?" Shocked, I looked at Niccolo. "Why is my head being bondage?"

Niccolo creased his forehead. "Don't you remember? You hit your head on the doorframe."

As soon as he said that, I recalled what had happened. I only remembered that I was crying profusely, nonstop, begging to... Demetrius. The pain of losing Valerian was killing me that was why I did not know what actions I had done.

Then my head being hit in the doorframe was the last thing I remembered. I did not know what happened next.

"How long was I unconscious?" Heaving out a sigh, I needed to sort out my feelings. But this method wouldn't last long since Valerian would invade my mind again. My mental capacity would fail me again.

That was for certain.

"Two days."

"Two days?!" I was petrified at what I had learned. "I was supposed to return to the mansion after two days!" Damn it! Papa would suspect me again and would keep an eye on me again! "I must leave now!"

I got out of bed. However, taking another step failed me when I felt like my world was spinning.

"Careful!" My eyes widened when Niccolo caught me in his arms. "You do not want to hit your head again and be unconscious."

Before I could retort, he did not think twice about scooping me in his arms, making me cling to him and draw myself closer. He lifted me like a sack of rice and carefully returned me to the bed.

"I shall inform Demetrius that you are awake. I shall get you some meal. And do not leave. I swear. Do not test my patience."

I had shivered down my spine from the words he uttered. It was not because he would inform Demetrius that I was already awake. But it was because of his words that were the exact phrase Valerian uttered back when we slept together in an inn in the Solacia.

It was the part where he made my legs unable to work, told me that he would get us a meal, and threatened me not to leave.

I watched Niccolo leave while I helped my chest, feeling how my heart was hammering so wild in my chest.

Why did my heart react to that simple words? Why did I suddenly feel nostalgic just to see that rogue Alpha from Valerian?

It was like Niccolo was the embodiment of Valerian if that was the case...

I already felt that familiarity with him ever since my previous life. I knew it. I could tell. Even though that man said that I was not supposed to remember him...

However, why couldn't this man recognize me?

We met again in this present timeline, yet... he couldn't remember me?

I must let Henry know about this. I finally found this man. But what I did not like about him was how he judged me so quickly that ending my life was just for fun. I had enough reasons why I wanted to die.

I just wanted to be with my honeydew. Was it too much to ask for?

Gasping, I suddenly remembered that I had a dream! That was Valerian... asking me to let him go.

I clenched the sheets. "Bastard... You left me and asked me to let you go. Screw you, Valerian..." My heart clenched just by mentioning his name. "My love for you is not that shallow, scumbag..." I closed my eyes when my eyes were getting stung.

Here I was again... I would lose my mind again.

My wolf and I couldn't handle this heartbreak. It was as if half of our soul had been taken away. It was hard to pick up the shattered pieces of my heart as we couldn't accept that he was really dead.

I laid back in bed, realizing I was still in Valerian's chamber. I snuggled closer to one of his pillows and inhaled his scent. It smelled nostalgic just by smelling his scent here. I used to live with him, sharing the same bed as a married couple.

Then, we would make love since he was insatiable while I was already thinking that time that I fooled him. At that time, Valerian thought I was also earnest about our mate bond. Little did he know I was already plotting against him.

I looked at his desk, where I remembered in my previous life that, he would usually sit there and watch me sleeping after our lovemaking. I smiled bitterly, remembering how I used to smile at him as if I was his sweet lover.

But that was just a facade to take his trust...

"Why are you looking at me that way?" I frowned and hid half of my face with his pillow, feeling my heart pounding so fast inside my chest.

"Looking at you like what?" Valerian asked, smiling as he crossed his leg and rested his ankle on his thigh. He even placed his elbow and reclined on the back of his hand. He had this lazy smile while his eyes were dancing in mischievousness.

What made it look so sinful right now was he was only wearing his trousers. His six-pack abs, washboard chest, and firm shoulders were exposed before me. He looked like a roasted pig that was meant to be eaten right at this moment.

I scoffed, playfully rolling my eyes. "Like you want to devour me again," I jested. I just woke up from our lovemaking. Valerian really made me tired the whole night.

He grinned. "Well, should I blame the one who flirts with me while working in my study room last night, honeydew?" He hummed and started stroking his chin. "Ah, yes. That is you. You are the culprit," he said teasingly.

I almost cussed since that was a wrong bold move from mine. I was only playing with him. I just wanted to ease his mind since he had problems with His Majesty's works. He even locked himself in his study room to finish the proposal.

"Fine..." I rolled my eyes one more time before I got up so I could go to the lavatory to take a bath.

Valerian whistled when my ass was exposed. "Are you going to take a bath, Domi? Care to let me join?"

"No. I do not want you to join." I glared at him since I already knew what he would do.

He fluttered his eyelids. "That's unfair..." He pouted.

I stuck my tongue out before I closed the door and held my chest, which was beating so fast. Damn it... My heart wouldn't stop fidgeting ever since I started living with him.

This must not be supposed to happen. Papa wouldn't like it if he knew I felt something for him. I must focus on my mission!

When I was done, I stormed out of the lavatory and changed into a simple dress after getting help from the servants to help me tie me up the corset.

"May I ask where Valerian is?" I asked politely. I had to be polite since I was not a pack member here. I was a stranger who was invited by my mate, Valerian, to live with him.

He was expecting that if we were on good terms for this, there might be a chance he would ask for my hand. That must not suppose to happen. Papa wouldn't like the outcome.

"Alpha said he is in the gazebo if you are looking for him," one of them said, smiling.

"I see. Thank you for helping me here." I was talking about how they helped me get dressed and pampered me like a lady in this household.

"We are honored to serve you, Lady Dominixe."

I went to the gazebo and saw Valerian pacing back and forth. I was bewildered when he looked like he was waiting for someone.

"Val!" I called.

Valerian turned his head in my direction. "Lilith..." he said dreamily and approached me.

I could have sworn my cheeks were crimson red when Valerian laid out his hand. Reluctant, I accepted it and gasped softly when he kissed the back of it. "V-Valerian... D-Don't tell me you missed me so soon?" I asked, reluctant for a moment.

I felt like that was the reason. This man was too much for me to handle. One moment, he was insatiable and in a blink of an eye, he was such a gentleman and caring man.

He softened and nodded. Then he gathered me in his arms and kissed my forehead. "I will always miss you, Lilith." He cupped my face with his hand and looked at me with that seething, intense, loving gaze. "You are the best thing that happened in my whole entire life..."

His words melted me. I even felt butterflies fluttering in my stomach as I couldn't help feeling guilty that this man was genuine and loving yet here I was... I was going to attack his pack in the next few months.

Just endure his sweet gestures, Dominixe... This should be over soon...

"You and your flowery words, honeydew..." I teased before I tiptoed and pecked his lips.

I would make this man—my mate—fall in love with me more. So it would be fun to see him betrayed once I m a s s a c r e his pack. And he would be my last opponent to kill.

Valerian... Prepare yourself, for you made a mistake by trusting me...

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Mystique Luna's note:

There will be more throwbacks that will happen. But I will update them as special chapters once this story ends. We would see how vile Dominixe is when she starts to live in Valerian's pack and how sweet and loving Valerian is before he knows she deceived him.

If you are looking for the words where Niccolo uttered the exact words Valerian said, check Chapter 25: Accountable.