Chapter 3

Amelia didn’t know how long she was on the ground crying herself out. She was lucky because no one had come into the woods at that time. She could at least try to cheer herself up but she couldn’t. The rejection really caused her too much heartbreak.

It was already dark when she decided to go home. There she found Bea had already finished cooking for her. And they were waiting for her. Amelia tried to be happy for them. At least that time, she was happy even though it was fake. But seeing how in love her brother and best friend were just made her more heartbroken. That was what she could never have.

As the day passed, Amelia was like a zombie. She woke up every morning to fix their breakfast. While Marcus and Bea went on their run. Yes, Bea was already living with them when she turned eighteen. She was three months older than Amelia. And yes, Marcus and Amelia finally became okay because of the help of Bea.

After their breakfast, Amelia fixed herself for her school. She managed to keep her life going on for a year since the rejection happened. Though she could still smell Nicolai when he was around. But she ignored it because that was what he was doing too. She tried to think that her rejection of Nicolai to her was a blessing in disguise. His friends were not bullying her anymore. Like what they agreed on, no one learned about what happened that day. Even Bea, her best friend, didn’t know about it.

Tomorrow will be her eighteenth birthday. She had been thinking about it for months now. She thought she would finally leave their pack after her birthday. It would be dangerous because she would be rogue. But maybe she could find a new life in a human city. Maybe there, someone would accept her. Maybe there she would forget everything.

And besides, she still couldn’t forget about what Nicolai told her. He would ban her when he became the alpha of their pack. Before he does that, she will leave this place. And it decided.

Amelia’s day lasted like the other days. She managed to avoid her bullies as she prepared for the last day of her senior year. Then she went home and fixed their dinner. Seeing her brother happily talking with Bea was just making Amelia hesitate to leave. But it was the right thing to do. She doesn’t want them to keep worrying about her.

After their dinner, Amelia went to her room. She silently packed most of the important things she would need. Clothes, and her important papers. She counted the money she saved from her coin bank and she got five thousand dollars. It was not bad considering she got this from doing part-time at a restaurant for their packmates. She decided that she would go to a human city. She was wolfless after all.

When everything was ready, Amelia decided to have her final walk in their territory. She told Bea and Marcus that was preparing for later.

“Get back early, Sister,” said Marcus.

Amelia smiled and nodded at him. “Okay, brother.”

Amelia went out. The night was clear and the moon was full up high. She almost forgot her birthday would be a full moon. And the full moon was important for her packmates too. The Moon Goddess will bless everyone. Some would find their mate, some would shift, and some would be stronger. They also said that when it was a full moon, that was when the Moon Goddess would likely hear anyone's wishes and grant them.

Amelia smirked thinking of it. A lot of full moons had passed. Every full moon she asked the Moon Goddess to let her wolf out. But still nothing. She was still the wolfless, worthless, and pathetic Amelia who her mate rejected.

Amelia continued her walk until she reached the woods. She made it onto the lake and sat down at the end of the bridge. Amelia looked up and sighed. She inhaled the night breeze and it felt relaxing. She could already hear some howling. It’s still not midnight but some couldn’t wait.

‘How I wish I could feel how to run like a wolf too. It must be good,’ Amelia thought. But she instantly removed it from her mind. She will be gone here tomorrow. She shouldn’t think about it anymore.

Amelia suddenly heard a snapping behind her back. She turned her head back and saw darkness. It was coming from the woods. Amelia decided to stand up because it felt like something was calling her there. When she reached the woods, Amelia froze as she smelled the familiar scent. That scent that she loved but never wanted hers. It was him, her mate.

‘What was he doing here?’

Amelia panicked. She saw the enormous black wolf slowly walking toward her. He was large, like the usual alpha. His eyes were red. Nicolai’s wolf was also majestic, like his human form. Oh, how she wanted to caress his black fur. But she could hear the low rumbling growl coming from it. That was just adding more to Amelia’s terror. She wanted to run now because it would be foolish of her because he could easily get her. Amelia snapped when she heard her bones cracking up. She closed her eyes and bowed her head. She didn’t move even though she heard the footsteps going toward her.

“Why do I still smell you?!” Nicolai asked angrily. He then held Amelia’s shoulder and pinned her to the nearby tree.

Amelia grunted as she felt the hard tree on her back. Nicolai was also holding her aggressively, so she was hurting. But she decided to keep it to herself.

“It was so strong that my wolf took over to find you! I already rejected you!”

Amelia trembled. “P-Please… you are hurting me!”

“Shut up! What did you do? I rejected you and you accepted it! How is this possible?!”

“I don’t know! I didn’t do anything!” Amelia cried. “Please! You will break my arms!”

“Fuck it!”

Nicolai let her go. Amelia fell down on the ground. She crawled onto another tree and hugged herself while crying. She suddenly remembered when they were attacked by the rogues. Nicolai was like them. Ready to slash her throat.

“My wolf might have been pitying you! Fuck! You really don’t deserve to be in this pack! You are worthless! It should’ve been you who died, not your mother!”

Amelia shook her head. She was already shaking. What was wrong did she do with him? Yes, she was weak. As the years passed, she blamed herself. But this was so much that she could hear it from her fated mate. She panicked again when Nicolai marched on her.

“No!” Amelia screamed as he grabbed her arms again and pinned her to the trees. “P-Please! Stop!”

“Leave, Amelia. Go! You are a danger in this pack! You can’t take care of yourself, so you will endanger them, only! You are weak and a human! I will never have you as my Luna!” he shouted and then pushed her to the ground. “Leave before I humiliate you in front of our packmates. Leave if you want your dignity intact! Because I won’t hesitate to do it when I still see you at my ceremony!” he added, then started walking.

Amelia’s face was almost slammed into the ground. She was already planning on leaving this place. He shouldn’t be too hard on her like that. She had already moved on and decided to find her own peace. But why must he hurt her more? She stood up and forced herself to run away from the place.

Maybe Nicolai was right. She would be a danger to anyone who would be with her. Maybe running away was not a good idea. Maybe being in this life was really wrong. Her mother died because of her. She was wolfless. Her mate rejected her. There was nothing she could do about this place anymore. Maybe disappearing into the human world was not enough. Maybe she should really be gone.

Amelia found herself on a cliff. She could see the neighboring pack from her position. Below was a river where the water was flowing fast. She was still in their territory but already far away. Amelia was still crying out. Thinking that she was really worthless and should leave this lifetime. She looked at the river below her.

“Oh, mother! What should I do?! Moon Goddess! Why is this happening to me?!” she cried out. “Yes. Maybe this was the best.” Amelia sniffed. “I-I’m sorry, brother. I’m sorry, Bea. I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore–”

“What are you doing?”

Amelia jumped when she heard a voice from behind her. She turned around but before she could see the man, she heard a rock rumbling. Then the place she was standing started to fall. Amelia screamed in terror as she felt her body slowly fall.