Chapter 13

"You ready?" Tate's voice floats to me and I sigh, taking a last look at myself in the mirror. My blue eyes held unshed tears in them once again as sorrow fills me. I stand wearing a long sleeved black lace dress with my hair in a high bun. Today will be a long and depressing day for everyone. I feel strong arms turn me away from my pale reflection and press my head into a sturdy chest as I take in Tate’s scent with shaky breath.

"You don't have to go if it’s too hard Laina. Everyone would understand." He says and kisses my forehead. He knew I am close to breaking again. Any mother would be close to breaking on the day they burry their baby.

“I have to Tate. She deserves to know how much I love her and will miss her.” I whisper out with a whimper into his chest. Taking another deep breath to steady my emotions I take Tate’s hand and the two of us make our way down the stairs where Jack and Chris fawn over Julia, a soft smile on my lips as I watch the three of them.

"Who is a fabulous little baby? You are, yes you are little Julia. And your big cousins here are going to make sure you stay fabulous with clothes fit for this little princess.” Chris coos as he taps gently on Julia’s little nose. I knew what he is saying will come true and that like myself Julia will be showered with clothing growing up. I feel Tate stiffen beside me as Chris bounces Julia in his arms as he talks about all the things she will get growing up and what she might become in the future causing my mate to growl lowly where only I can hear it. I knew Tate is extremely possessive and I guess with Chris acting this way maybe he felt his position threatened.

“Behave Tate. Chris and Jack are always like this, especially Chris. He means no harm.” I sigh out, wrapping my arm around Tate’s wait and trying to calm my mate down as best as I can. Instead of calming down Tate rolls his eyes and continues to glare at Chris, pulling away from me. Hurt fills my already bruised heart at my mate’s reaction. Trying to calm myself down I turn away from Tate and shy away from his touch when he reaches for me. I walk towards Chris and Jack taking Julia from Chris’ arms and cradle her as I breathe in her baby scent.

“Julia and I are riding in your car Chris.” I decide, hearing Tate give a low possessive growl. I turn to glare at my mate. Today is already a hard-enough day for me and I will not allow his possessive attitude to take over and hurt me even more emotionally.

"Wouldn't you rather be with Tate?" Jack asks cautiously his eyes darting between Tate and I.

“No. I would rather ride with family than be stuck in a car with a possessive ass that can’t control his attitude today.” I answer honestly. I bend down to place Julia in her car seat watching Jack carefully pick it up carefully. Chris grabs Julia’s diaper bag getting ready to leave.

"Why are you being so difficult? A moment ago you were ready to cry and now you're act like a class “A” bitch!” Tate growls out directing his anger towards me. My heart cracks slightly as a few tears slip out from the corner of my eyes and I shake my head at Tate.

“I’m only acting like this because of you.” I snap back watching as Tate’s eyes widen with shock.

“Here Chris is being not only a cousin but an uncle as well to Julia and you get jealous of him. He’s gay and has a mate but just because you feel slightly threatened you start growling and being an asshole. Today is not the day to do this Tate. I am burying one of my pups. Do you understand the pain I am in?” I continue, more tears streaming down my face as Chris holds his arm out preventing me from going to where I left Tate and slapping some sense into him.

“Chris is my best friend. When my parents died he raised me. So excuse me for taking my family’s side when my mate starts acting like a grad “A” douchebag.” I finish my rant and turn on my heels and proceed to drag Chris to his car. I needed away from Tate for a moment. Jack follows suit and helps me in securing Julia and her car seat in the back seat before the three of us settle into the car ourselves.

“Just drive Chris.” I sigh out seeing the hesitation in my cousin’s eyes for leaving Tate in the house alone. When my mate smartens up then I will talk to him. But today is not the day to act the way he is. The engine starts and Chris proceeds to back out of the driveway. My eyes stay focused on Julia beside me as I wipe away the wetness on my face.

The drive to the Church is short as we pass by through the forest roads. The trees shake and leaves break off falling to the ground. I take the time to try my best and compose myself as Chris parks in front of a gorgeous white brick church that Eeva told me was built over one hundred years ago. It was gorgeous and the blue cloudless sky provided a lovely scene. For such a sad day it was beautiful out. Maybe the Moon Goddess felt sorry for me losing my pup Kelly and provided a beautiful scene to send her off. Chris comes to the side Julia’s car seat is secured in and offers to carry her inside. I reach for the diaper bag but Jack grabs it before I can, giving me a side hug and a kiss on my fore head. It made me happy having these two here. We make our way into the opened double doors of the church when a wolf in a long robe steps forward from the dais and gives me a warm smile.

"Luna, so nice to meet you but I am sad that it had to be under these circumstances." The minister greets, offering his hand for me to shake. I smile sadly and look around the room my eyes searching for Kelly’s body.

"I-is she?" I couldn't help but let a few more tears fall as I ask. I wanted to see her for the first and last time.

"She is in the other room; would you like some time with her?" The minister asks with a sympathetic gaze. I nod slowly motioning for him to lead the way while Jack and Chris smile reassuringly at me and takes Julia to the front pew to entertain the newborn. I am lead to a room to the left of the stage where a wooden table with a black satin table cloth stands. On top of the table is a small wooden casket with white satin that cradles the body of a little new born who is a carbon copy of Julia. The minister leaves closing the door behind him while I slowly walk forward until I stand before Kelly, my fingers grazing her small cheeks gently.

"Hi Kelly." I choke out as tears once again flow down my face. Something compels me to gently lift her lifeless body in my arms as sobs begin to take hold of me. I fall to my knees while staring at the still face of my baby girl. Here I am holding onto Kelly. My pup that used to kick inside me just days ago and I would never get to watch her grow up. She couldn’t feel my touch or be comforted in my arms. She’ll never grow up with Julia.

"I love you baby girl." I whisper, kissing her sweet little face, my tears falling onto her little pale cheeks. I sit in the small quiet room just holding onto Kelly and slightly rocking back and forth. I wish I could turn back time, so this day never happens.

"Laina?" It was Eeva as she calls out to me gently. I turn my head to look at my friend watching her take slow steps to stand before me, a sad smile in her face as she holds out her hands.

"It’s time, may I take her?” She informs, asking me gently about Kelly. I hesitate for a moment before nodding allowing Eeva to take Kelly from my arms and gently placing her into her coffin with care. She rearranges her pink dress so that it sits elegantly on my pup’s body as more sobs come from me.

"Ssshh, it'll be okay." Eeva whispers taking a seat beside me on the ground and wrapping her arms around me. I burry my face into my friend’s shoulder and allow myself to grieve for my pup that I will never watch grow up. Who will never run around with her sister. For a while, the two of us stay in this position as Eeva allows me to cry, my sobs slowing down until I am able to catch my breath. She takes out cleansing wipes from her purse and helps me clean my face, squeezing my hands gently before helping me to my feet. I turn to look at Kelly one last time, rearranging her dress and taking a small head band I had made last week. It was a black band with fall flowers and a colourful butterfly. Julia is already wearing the matching headband and it felt right letting Kelly wear her head band today.

"Good bye sweet girl." I whisper, giving her a final kiss on her tiny forehead before Eeva leads me out of the room gently. Walking back into the main part of the church I catch Tate in the back talking to the minister but ignore him. Instead I join Chris and Jack in the front taking Julia from Jack’s arms and holding my baby close to me. We all take a seat on the benches as the minister starts his speech about the balance of life and the blessing from the Goddess, Loren and Jack carrying the tiny coffin to the front where everyone I knew could see her. I already had my moment so I just stare at Julia not wanting to see the small coffin. Someone slides into the spot next to me, strong arms wrapping around me and pulling close.

"Laina, I...I'm sorry. I was an ass this morning." It was Tate and those few words are all I need to turn into his chest and cry silently, careful not to wake our sleeping pup on my arms. The rest of the funeral is a blur, the only thing I remember is the coffin being lowered and buried in the Tomb where Tate’s family is buried. She will forever be a Randall-Silvermoon and Tate’s pup no matter what.

I don’t remember how I ended up in bed curled under the covers but I do know that Tate allowed Chris and Jack to take care of Julia for the night. I needed some time alone after the long heart wrenching day I’ve had. I knew Tate is in his office but every now and then he would check in on me. With my body feeling zapped of all energy I decide to close my heavy eyelids and let sleep welcome me.