16 ~ Sultan is attracted to Begum

Sultan POV

My life was simple, my goals were clear. Everything was pre-planned and clear before me until I encountered her. It was like the flowing water as I wanted but now I was feeling as if my boat had started moving in the high tides and the sinking was the end. I had prepared my mind like a stone to focus on winning of hind but now I was feeling as if it was not in my destiny.

She was the one who was trying to sink my boats in the high tides. I didn't know why God wasn't helping me either. I didn't know why but Zeenat also wanted me to get settled with her. And then I thought to see her once after our fight outside.

I went to meet her and entered our chamber. I sat beside her and we talked for a while. Then suddenly she said something that hit me hard.

"Why are you being so nice to me? You could have killed me. That would be so simple and less stressful. Why you are trying to keep me in comfort. What do you want? Why are you behaving so nice with me?" She asked.

I was silent as I didn't know it too. I didn't know why I had generated a soft side towards her. That was probably from the first day as I knew that she had some issues with herself. I saw those marks on her neck and wrists. I didn't want to hurt anyone who was already that much hurt.

"I don't know Begum, but I know that that I can't hurt anyone who is already hurt," I said.

"Already hurt?" She asked.

"Yes, All those marks on your neck and wrist," I said holding her soft and slim wrist. The noise of her bangles created a little echo.

"Ohh, As I told you already. I tried to commit suicide a number of times." She said lowering her gaze.

"Why you tried to do so? Life is so precious. It is important more than anything. It is one of the most precious gifts that God gives you and you tried to end it. That's wrong." I said as I knew how much life means to someone.

"Sultan, I wasn't in the right state of mind then. I don't know why but sometimes I feel low, I feel as if I am useless. I feel as if I don't have any motive to live." She said.

I didn't know why she was so sad and unhappy with herself. I didn't like it all.

"Do you still feels the same?" I asked.

"No," She said lifting her gaze to me.

"I have a motive now," She said.

"What?" I asked threading my eyebrows.

"To keep you away from my Bhai Saheb and Hind," She said.

I laughed and looked at her.

"I know that's why you married to me. But do you actually think that you can stop me?" I asked.

"I don't know but this is the motive of my life. My Bhai saheb saved me and I will protect him until my last breath" She said and it hurt me. I was there and all she was worried about was his brother.

I held her hand and pulled her closer to say.

"But now you are my wife. What about that?" I asked looking into her eyes.

"Begum?" She laughed.

"You also know that how this marriage happened. There is nothing between us except hate and war" She said.

I pulled her even closer and I felt her heartbeat racing. She wasn't daring to lift her lashes to me and I just once again flew with the moment.

"If there isn't anything then why this much restlessness. Why did you want to see me?" I asked slowly.

She lifted her gaze listening to me and said.

"Because I am your wife. I want to see these eyes, see this hatred in your eyes... even if I do not want to. I don't know I feel as if you are the only one whom I know in the crowd of these thousand of people. I do like to see you even after this hatred." She said and my heartbeat started beating fast.

I left her hand and lowered my gaze.

"Begum, I wanted to tell you. That you might be my wife but I will never be able to see you as my wife. You will never feel any kind of discomfort here but I can't give you any right over me. You are safe here until you don't come across my way. And I have someone else in my heart. She was the from the beginning and she will be the one till eternity. Whatever happened between us was just a moment. I am sorry for that and please don't get attr-"

"I know everything" She cut me off standing and walking away from me.

I looked at her and she continued. "I know sultan. Don't worry, Since you forgave me for plotting against you, I forgive your eight kisses. But from now on, I want my separate chamber. I don't want to share it with you." She said.

For a moment, I felt as if I was dreaming. It hurt me. It did hurt me. I wanted to stay away from her. I didn't want to cheat my love. But, I didn't want it either. I didn't know but hearing it made me sad.

I was attracted to her. I wanted to see her long hairs. I wanted to fight with her. I just not wanted to treat her like furniture. Because for God sake, she was my only wife. And the motive behind keeping her in my chamber was her safety.

She wasn't safe here. There were so many people who hated her already. There were so many people who wanted to kill her.

"Separate Chamber?" I asked.

"Yes, I also don't want to bother you," She said.

I didn't know what to say and agreed. "Okay"

I called Nagma and asked her to do so.

"Come begum, let's eat something," I asked her as our dinner was ready.

She nodded and smiled.

"Sure" She walked to me and sat beside me.

"Let's be friends," I said.

"Means?" She asked.

"Yes, since we have to live together and we do need to behave like husband-wife. I think we should be friends." I said.

"Haha, yes until you fight against my brother." She said.

"Come, let's eat something," I said.

"You eat, I don't eat what you eat," She said smilingly.

"No, everything is what you like," I said looking at the plate.

"Okay!" She nodded and sat beside me.

I knew that it was awkward for both of us. I didn't know, but neither I want to meet her nor I wanted to stop seeing her. It was like from inside I wanted to talk to her but my brain and loyalty were stopping me. Because I might be sure that I won't be able to stop my attraction towards her.

We started eating and I could feel that she was nervous eating with me. It was the first we were sitting patiently, quiet and having dinner.

I was noticing her while she ate. She ate very less food and no doubt why her waist and body was slim.

"You should eat more" I couldn't stop myself from saying this.

"What?" She asked.

"Yes, You look likes a thin, dry stem. You should eat more" I said.

"Thin, dry stem?" She asked making her eyebrows like a thread. "How dare you? I am more intelligent and stronger than you" She said moving the plate aside.

"Hahaha, I can make you faint just by swapping my fingers," I said challenging her.

"What? I think you forgot how I killed your loving Vishakha and those... eight... slaps." She said.

"Seven, Begum. You have a short memory too." I said and suddenly those eight kisses flash my mind.

I looked at her as her face also changed mentioning those slaps.

"I think I should go to my chamber now." She said.

"Okay!" I said.

She wished me a night and left me alone.

I didn't know but I felt sad. For the past few days, I was feeling special as she wanted to see me. I knew she was affected by our romantic moment and then she wanted to see me. I knew she was missing me and that was making me feel special.

But now, When I know that she won't miss me more when I knew that I had created a thick line between us even before anything started. Inside I wanted something to start. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to fight with her. But, my brain wasn't allowing me to do so. Because I knew and I was afraid that I might fall for her. I started caring for her. I didn't want anyone to hurt her. And honestly, nobody could stop me from loving and accepting her. But, my fight was with myself. My fight was with my past. My fight was with my regulations that I created for myself.

Similar kind of thoughts bothered my whole night. Everyone knew that she was someone special to me. I was married to her and she was meant to become the crowned Begum as she was my legal wife. This sultanate wanted its crowned Begum. I was ready to give her everything and somehow my heart wanted that her should get everything.

I didn't know why she tried to end her life. But, knowing the fact that I lost someone with this stupidity I didn't want to lose her. I felt attached to her.

Remembering my first and only love Shabana, whom I lost when I was sixteen. I went for war and she got the wrong message that I lost and died in the war. She ended her life. I couldn't and would never be able to get over this. She was the daughter of my father's brother. Long hairs, slim waist, neck like a peacock and eyes like pearls. She had an extremely sweet voice that I used to die hearing. A huge smile used to appear on my face whenever she called me Sultan and I die happily when she calls me 'Rafiq'.

Our wedding was fixed, we were about to get married after that war but destiny might now want that. Or maybe someone else. A lot of people said that it was done by my stepmother. As she wants her son to rule on Arab. I really love her. I lost my mother at a very young age and she was the one who raised me. I respect her and maybe that's why I lost my love.

I really loved her. I wanted to see her before waking up and wanted to sleep only after looking at her angelic eyes. I never forget her. I never wanted to.

She was the only one whom I wanted to give myself. After her, I kept myself away from women. A sort of fear rooted inside me for losing my love. I wasn't able to love anyone now.

But now, I was feeling attracted to someone. My heart flattered on someone's long hair. I met someone who had the power to race my heartbeats again. But, I didn't want it. I couldn't betray my love.

Suddenly, When I woke up in the morning Nagma came crying to me.

"Sultan... Choti Begum" She said crying.

"What happened to her?" I asked straightening myself.

She fell to my feet and said.

"I am sorry Sultan, Begum is in Hammamm. We were helping her in Hammamm. We applied the turmeric paste to her skin... And then she started crying, she started screaming. Her skin is burning sultan." She said crying and then showed her fingers.

Her fingers were red, her skin was burnt and my heart skipped its beats.

I didn't twice and ran towards the Hammamm.