Her sinner Husband

Lindsay's POV.

I didn't feel the gravity of what I had done until I woke up the next morning. A wave of guilt washed through me immediately. I looked at my naked self covered with nothing but a duvet and I felt the need to cry. Something was missing, Shaun wasn't there.

That was for the best because I couldn't imagine the amount of embarrassment I would have felt if he was by my side. Maybe I had had too much to drink.

I got up from the bed and wore my clothes. Without even bothering to look in the mirror, I ran out of the room and the house, looking like a crazy person. Even the guards were stunned to see me, but I wasn't concerned about them. I was concerned about something greater; Asher.

He was going to make my life a living hell if he found out I was with another man. Even though I didn't plan on telling him, there was a probability that he would find out because what else could be the reason I spent the night outside?

When I got out of the cab, I swallowed hard. There was no way I could keep my cool. Maybe I should have stayed back at Shaun's. No, he wasn't my husband and I couldn't leave Leia in the hands of my husband.

The moment I got to the door, I walked in without hesitation. There was no point waiting around. The faster I faced him, the faster I got to know my fate.

I saw him and my heart stopped. He was seated on the couch with his eyes transfixed on his phone. It was a school day, so Leia wasn't home, which I was grateful for.

After gathering a little bit of courage, I walked past him. He did not say anything for the first few seconds. It was when I had gotten to the stairs that he finally spoke.

"Where are you going?"

"Upstairs," I said faintly. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't hide the fear in my voice.

I watched him keep the phone by his side as he stood up. He walked closer to me and I stayed transfixed at a spot unable to move an inch. The thought of grabbing an iron rod, smashing his head with it, and making a run for it came to my head, but I was too scared to act out my thoughts.

He got very close with his eyes sending cold shivers down my spine. After a while of absolute silence and careful studying, he spoke. "You have been with another man" he broke off. "I can smell his cologne all over you"

"What, Asher? What are you saying?" I tried to keep my cool, but it was obvious I was nervous.

"After everything? You said you loved me" his eyes were softened, but I didn't let that deceive me. I knew that anytime he looked vulnerable, he was more likely to hurt me.

"Of course I do"

"You are nothing but a whore, a disgusting one" This time he had a glare on his face.

"No, you are getting it all wrong. Of course, I love..." He didn't let me finish before smashing my head into the wall. I felt the whole room spin. It was only a miracle that I was still alive.

"Don't you dare lie to me. You are nothing but a sinner!"

That statement got me very angry. Despite the heavy migraine I felt, I still managed to speak because the anger I felt was too much to be contained. "You have no right to call me a sinner. If I am a sinner, then you are also a sinner! You are wicked and heartless and you are most definitely not a Christian" I screamed in his face. With the way he stepped a few paces back, it was obvious my words touched him. It made him very angry. I could see it in his eyes. Anytime I told him anything concerning being a sinner, he got out of control.

"How dare you?"

"You are nothing but a hypocrite," I said in a venomous whisper.

He grabbed me forcefully by the neck and pinned me to the wall. With the rage he felt, I knew I was as good as dead.

When he wasn't letting go, I parted my lips to beg, but no words came out.

"You have no right to say that to me. You have no right to condemn me"

‘But you condemn me all the time’ I wanted to speak, but I couldn't. I felt my soul slipping out of my body.

He finally let go of me, grabbed me forcefully by my hand and started dragging me upstairs. I was still surprised that he hadn't jumped on me, rendering me punches. It wasn't something he didn't find hard to do.

"Where are you taking me to?"

"Stay still" he barked at me. After struggling for the first few seconds, I stopped and let him take me. At first, I thought he was going to lock me in my room like he always did, but this time he walked in with me.

He got closer to me. "What are you doing?" I asked in confusion as his hand held my top

Before I could say a word, he had already ripped my shirt off.

"Asher stop this madness" I struggled with him, but that only earned me a slap. He continued slapping me until my mouth bled.

Once again I stopped struggling and let him do what he wanted. He undressed me until I was naked. I thought he was going to rape me, but he didn't.

"Bend over," he instructed and I shakily obeyed.

He undid the belt of his trousers and took it off. I knew what was coming and I couldn't help but weep.

He began to whip me recklessly. Everywhere, my back, my legs, my butt, everywhere.

"You are the sinner, not me." He screamed in anger as he whipped me with all his might. "Maybe after this, you will surely learn to say no to evil"

"Asher please," I begged when I couldn't bear the pain anymore. He didn't look like it_someone who would stop. Maybe I shouldn't have made him mad by calling him a sinner.

He whipped until he was satisfied, then I heard him undo his trousers. Hot tears slipped out of my eyes. I didn't try to stop them. I let them flow. My pain doubled when I felt the tip of his shaft on my mound entrance. Without any hesitation, he rammed into me recklessly. It hurt so hard that I shut my eyes, trying to bear the pain, but it was too hard to. It was at that point I realized I couldn't be with this man anymore. He was a beast, not the man I met 2 years ago.

When he was done satisfying himself sexually, he wore his trousers and left me there, not after locking the door. I cried so hard that I thought I would fall sick. I slipped to the floor, rummaging my hand through my hair. This was torture and I needed to break off from it. I thought of Shaun. I just couldn't stop thinking about him.

The only way to get away from this was to divorce Asher. I might not run to Shaun, but I would most definitely be free from Asher. Once and for all. My deepest concern was Leia. There was no doubt she would be with her father because he was very powerful and could get anything he wanted.

Those thoughts brought fresh tears to my eyes. I got up from where I was and dragged my feet to the bathroom. I felt the desperate need to wash him off me. I just couldn't help but feel irritated with myself.

As the water trickled down my body, it took my tears away, but it didn't take the pain away. Maybe I shouldn't have left Shaun. Maybe I should have stayed with him. But what if he didn't feel the same way I felt about him? What if he saw me as a whore just as Asher did. I suddenly missed Shaun and his arms around me, but I couldn't go back. I didn't want to be with him.

*****

"I want a divorce" I blurted out and watched as his eyes softened, but I wasn't fooled.

I kept my gaze on the food, not caring to spare him a glance.

"Why do you want a divorce?" He asked and I scoffed.

"Is that supposed to be a question? I can't stay in an abusive Marriage"

"Lindsay" he called my name softly and I knew what was coming next. I was emotionally ready for it. "I'm sorry if..."

"No" I snapped as tears welled up in my eyes. "You are not sorry. You have never been sorry. You are just a selfish, heartless man. I am done with you" I dropped my fork on my plate and stood up to leave, but he was faster than me.

He stood up and held me by the hand. Before I knew what was happening, he was already on his knees. His eyes looked sincere and I wished I could resist, but I couldn't. It was almost as though it pinned me down on the spot. All my anger went away immediately.

"I'm sorry if I hit you. I don't....I don't know what came over me. Please don't go. I can't..." He broke off. Tears flowed down my cheeks. All the anger and hatred I thought I had for him flew out of the window. I had no idea I still had feelings for him until the moment he went down on his knees.

For me to ever divorce him, I needed to have a tough heart, but that was something I didn't have. I was weak and couldn't for once say no to abuse.