The One I Didn’t Leave Behind

The warmth on my face was the first thing I felt.

 

It was a strange contrast to the biting air. My eyes were heavy and my head felt like it had been cracked open against the stone. I forced my lids to part. My vision was a blurred mess of shadows and pale white light.

 

Elara was looking down at me. Her face was pale. Her lips were blue. She looked like a ghost.

 

“You’re awake,” she whispered. Her voice broke.

 

Then her strength finally left her. She collapsed.

 

She slumped forward and her weight hit my chest. I groaned as the movement sent a fresh wave of pain through my skull. She didn't move.

 

I moved to the side, sat on my knees and grabbed her shoulder.

 

I shook her shoulder.

 

She didn't respond at first. Then her head rolled slightly to the side. She looked at me in a confused manner. Her lips moved but no sound came out.

 

I realized then that I was warm. I looked down. I noticed a weight on my shoulders that shouldn't have been there. It was her black fur coat. She had taken it off and draped it over me while I was out.

 

I stared at her for a long time.

 

The silence in the cave was absolute. It was just us. The guards were gone. The carriage was gone. The emperor and my father were leagues away. No one was watching.

 

I could leave her here.

 

The thought entered my mind like a cold breeze. It was simple. I could just get up and walk away.

 

I would find my way back and tell everyone the avalanche took her. No one would doubt me.

 

The villainess who killed my family would be gone before she ever had the chance to start the fire. The Empire would mourn a princess and the Grand Duchy would lose a future executioner

 

I wouldn't even have to stain my hands with her blood. The cold would do it for me.

 

I looked at her face. She looked so small without the royal mask. She looked fragile.

 

I sighed.

 

I reached out and pulled the fur coat off my shoulders. I threw it over her and lifted her body. I carried her a few steps away and laid her down on a patch of dry ground near the back of the cave.

 

I didn't do it out of kindness. I did it because I needed answers. I couldn't let the only person who knew the truth die in a hole.

 

I walked toward the entrance. It was a wall of white. I started digging. The snow was soft and loose. I cleared enough to see the world outside.

 

We were at the bottom of the ravine. The blizzard was still going. The wind screamed through the trees. It was still daytime but the visibility was low.

 

I narrowed my eyes. I faintly spotted the carriage Elara had been riding in. It was overturned and smashed against a cluster of trees.

 

And then I saw it. Just a little further ahead was my horse.

 

It wasn't moving. A pack of frost vultures was gathered around it. They were huge birds with pale feathers and beaks designed to crack bone. They were tearing into the carcass. The sound of their screeching reached me even through the wind.

 

I turned back to Elara. She was shivering. Her breathing was heavy and ragged.

 

Hypothermia.

 

She was freezing because she gave me her coat.

 

"Tck. What an idiot," I muttered.

 

My own limbs were starting to go numb. I needed to move. The carriage would have emergency supplies and food. But the vultures were there. If they noticed me, I would be as good as dead.

 

If I didn't go I would die of hunger and cold sooner or later. And she would die too.

 

I looked at her one more time. Her pulse was weak. She didn't have much time.

 

I decided to go.

 

“I'll be back,” I whispered. “I'm getting supplies. You rest here just for a while.”

I squeezed through the gap in the snow. I stayed low. I slowly walked out of the cave while hiding and taking cover behind spruce trees. The winds were blowing hard enough to knock me over. The snow was deep. It covered my boots and made every step a struggle.

 

The snow must have cushioned our fall.

 

I made my way toward the broken carriage. I kept my eyes on the vultures. They were busy with the horse. I reached the wreckage and climbed inside.

 

I found the emergency food and supplies backpack wedged under a seat. I grabbed it.

 

My eyes caught a glint of steel. It was one of Elara’s swords. I picked it up. The weight of the weapon felt wrong in my hand but it was better than nothing.

 

The sword reminded me of something else. I looked around the debris. The dagger box. I had kept it in her carriage along with the other luggage.

 

I stuffed the dagger into the backpack. I looked at the broken carriage walls. I grabbed a few dry planks of wood and shoved them into the bag too. I would need them to start a fire.

 

I was ready to go.

 

Suddenly the carriage groaned. A heavy weight landed on the roof.

 

A shadow fell over the carriage.

 

I froze.

 

One of the frost vultures had sensed movement. I heard its talons scraping against the wood. I held my breath. I slid into the shadows at the back of the carriage.

The bird tumbled the carriage. The world tilted. I hit the side wall but I didn't make a sound. The vulture shrieked. It pecked at the roof a few times then the weight lifted. It flew off back to the horse. I heard the flapping of its heavy wings.

 

My heart was pounding so hard I thought it would burst. If I had to fight a pack of frost vultures in this terrain alone, I would have definitely died.

 

I waited another minute. Then I slipped out.

 

I made my way back to the cave. I moved from tree to tree. I avoided the vultures' gaze. My lungs burned. Every breath felt like swallowing needles.

 

I reached the cave and dove inside. I pushed the snow back over the entrance to block the wind.

 

I rushed to check on her.

 

She was still conscious. Her eyes were half-open but they were glazed. Her breathing was shallow.

 

Her pulse was even weaker now. She looked like she was fading.

 

I opened the bag. I took out the magic lighter from the emergency kit and piled the wooden planks in the center of the cave. A small spark was all it took. The wood was dry enough to catch fire.

 

The flames flickered to life. The orange light danced on the ice walls.

 

I carried Elara closer to the fire.

 

"Elara. Hey. Wake up," I said.

 

She groaned. Her eyes drifted toward me. "Julius...?"

 

"The carriage is gone. We're in a cave," I said. I noticed her clothes were soaked. The snow had melted against her skin while she was lying there. Mine were the same.

 

"We need to get dry or the fire won't matter," I said. I reached into the bag and pulled out a thick wool blanket. I handed it to her. "Can you take these off?"

 

She didn't answer. She just stared at the blanket with trembling hands.

 

I started stripping my own clothes. My skin was pale and covered in goosebumps. I didn't care about modesty. Survival was the only thing that mattered.

 

"Julius," she whispered.

 

I looked at her. She was fumbling with the buttons of her dress. Her fingers were white. They were shaking too hard to move the fabric.

 

"Help me," she said.

 

I hesitated. I thought she was just confused. People with hypothermia often lose their sense of reality.

 

Then I saw her face. She wasn't just confused. She was desperate. She was trying to tear at the fabric but her hands wouldn't obey her.

 

I sighed and moved closer. I reached out and began unfastening the buttons. My own hands were stiff but I managed. I helped her out of the wet layers and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders.

 

I stood up to take our wet clothes and hang them near the fire.

 

Suddenly a hand shot out from the blanket.

 

She grabbed my wrist. Her grip was surprisingly strong. She pulled me down.

 

I lost my balance and fell toward her. I braced myself with my hands but she didn't let go. She pulled me closer until our faces were inches apart.

 

Her lips met mine.

 

They were freezing. There was no warmth in them. No passion. Just a cold and desperate hunger for life.

 

I froze.

 

I didn't pull away. I didn't lean in. I just stared at her eyes and wondered if this was just another lie.