Chapter 64 If not you, then who?

If not you, then who?

Nikolai

"Do you want her to come now?" I growled at Max as we walked down the stairs to the living room.

He pressed his lips together. "Fine. You were right. Bringing her there, in front of him is a bad idea," he agreed. "But then convincing him to come with me to attack the pack will be very difficult."

"I'll be sure to piss him off good. And since when do you have a problem with playing games and manipulating people?" I snapped.

"Since never." He said without any heat, making me feel like a dick.

"I have something to say that you would like to hear, brother." Max's voice turned serious. "The word is that his club is opening on thirty-first December. It's going to be both—new years party and the opening celebration. I'm going to call him to my club on Christmas eve. I normally have a big party and I can say I have extra security and more people in because of that. And 'Maximilian Romanoff' would want my mate back before Christmas so twenty-fourth December is the ideal date."

"Today is the eighteenth. So that gives you one week to train the Natalia," I muttered. Fuck.

He cracked his knuckles and gave Nat a smirk. "It's going to be more than enough for me. And I'm going to have so much fun."

"Sure about this?" I asked Nat.

"More than anything in the world." There was a glint in her eye when she said that. A glint that promised vengeance and blood.

"I want you to arrange for a fully equipped house that is isolated. I don't want anyone barging because they heard some screams or smelled blood. I will also need a human slave to come in once a day with food during lunchtime." Max told me.

"You will have it by tomorrow morning," I told him and with a final nod, I left them there.

I went to the dining room and Dimitri, Andrei, and Mikhail stopped having their dinner. A sign of respect.

"We have a war coming soon. Andrei, I want you to start preparing all the wolves, except children under the age of eighteen and pregnant women. Everyone will train in the morning as well as in the evening." I told him.

"Yes, Alpha." He nodded.

"There are a couple of changes in the plan that we discussed in the conference room- Ava will not be coming with us. Also, Christmas eve is the day of execution."

"Mikhail, I want you to ready the abandoned cottage in the middle of the woods and equip it before dawn. I do not want anyone roaming in the woods for the next week. Max will be training Natalia there all week. No one will disturb them. After that is done, you will look after all the weapons will we need in the fight. Along with the safety arrangements."

"Yes, Alpha." He nodded.

"Dimitri, take care of the kids and prepare a strategy for the secure positioning of Max's club—Club Ekstaz," I told him.

"Yes, Alpha." He nodded.

"Every night after dinner, we all will meet in the conference room and make the war strategy, effective from tomorrow," I told them.

"Yes, Alpha." They echoed.

"Continue with your dinner. April, serve a plate and bring it to my room." I told her and she nodded, hurrying to serve the plates.

I turned around walked out. I smelled Max standing somewhere in the vicinity and I knew he had heard everything but I didn't feel like staying and chatting.

I walked to my bedroom and saw Ava sitting on the side of the bed, her head lowered as she twiddled with her thumbs and her hair fell around her like a curtain, shielding herself from me.

Her head snapped up upon my arrival and she stood up and hesitantly walked towards me. "I'm sorry—." She murmured.

"Don't." I cut her off harshly, making her flinch.

Good. Because I'm mad. No, I'm beyond mad, I'm furious.

There was a knock on the door and Ava kept her eyes on me.

"Come in," I said loudly, knowing it was April. She came in with a plate and looked at me for further instructions.

I looked at Ava. "Have dinner and then go to sleep."

She opened her mouth, to probably protest but then thought better of it and closed it again.

Once she took the plate from April, I turned away from her and walked towards my desk. I took out my cigars, something I hadn't done in a while. I plucked one out and walked to the balcony and leaned against the glass railing as I lit it up and took a deep breath it.

It made me feel calmer.

"Please, Nik. I'm sorry." Ava said softly as she walked towards me. She eyed the cigar in my hand with concealed distaste but I caught it easily.

When she was in front of me I took a deep puff and blew the smoke in her face. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips together.

"What are you going to do now, Avalyn? Throw me off the balcony?" Low blow. I know. But right now, I didn't give a shit.

"I said I'm sorry." She clutched my hand.

"It means horseshit to me." I snorted. "You're always sorry. But you go right ahead and do it again."

"I mean it this time." She whispered, her eyes holding unshed tears.

I took another puff. But I blew the smoke in the cold, empty night.

"So the other times were just empty promises?" I was goading to her. I know it. But mean words just spewed out of my mouth.

She hurt me.

"I -I didn't say that. I mean—" her face pinched with frustration. "I meant it all the time. But this time, I mean it." She bit her lip before looking straight at me.

"Go and sleep Avalyn. I'm not in the mood to listen to your empty promises right now." I turned away from her and focused on my cigar.

I felt her going on her knees but I caught her by her elbow and yanked her straight up.

"Stop with this already. I'm not your Master." I hissed. "Don't disrespect what we once had with your insolence. I'm not going to be your Master only when you are happy and then have you push me around when you are angry."

A tear fell from her eye, followed by many others. Well, I'm hurt too.

"Correct me then. Punish me." She said through her trembling lips.

"You won't be able to take what I want to dish out right now, Avalyn." I want to spank her ass till she cried out her apology. Till she begged me to stop. Till she won't be able to sit until her wolf helped her heal. Till she will remember the sting of my hand the next time she even thinks about doing anything like this ever again. "So, for once in your life, do as you are told and go to sleep."

"Yes, Nikolai." She whispered before she ran back inside.

I finished my cigar and then jumped off the balcony, shifted into my wolf mid-air, and ran towards the woods. My wolf was sad but he understood my anger. And he helped me run harder. He knew that running will help me calm down.

I ran through the woods and ended up near the shack, where Ava and I mated.

Not wanting to go inside it, I ran back to the house. Ava is the only thing that calms me down and I'm helpless when she's the one who is the source of my distress.

So I did the only thing I could do. I went to my office and started working on the war strategy.

This has to be perfect. I won't let anyone die. I will find a way to save my entire pack.

Avalyn

My hand fell on the cold bed beside me and my eyes flew open.

Nik didn't come back. He hadn't been here all night. Worry gripped my heart as I quickly got out of bed and ran out of my room.

"Where's Nik?" I caught Irina who was bringing in our ironed clothes.

"He is in his study, Luna." She lowered her head. I look in a relieved breath. He's safe.

"Did he have breakfast?" I asked.

"No, Luna. When April knocked to offer some, he refused and has strictly instructed to not be disturbed." She replied. He didn't have dinner either. He must be hungry.

"Okay, thank you," I replied to her and went back to my bedroom.

I quickly brushed my teeth and showered before I went in the kitchen and made him Nutella pancakes which he loved, cut up a couple of fruits that he liked, and then make him a steaming cup of coffee.

The house seemed silent but I didn't mull over it too much.

I set everything on a tray before I headed to his office. It was only now that my anxiety kicked in.

What if he shouts at me again? What if he decides to punish me this time?

He has punished me before, yes. But he hadn't used any sort of... equipment on me. And while I could deal with anything and everything Nik-related, I'm not sure that I can deal with that. The fear of punishment is ingrained far too deep in me.

I stopped in front of his door, doubting my decision to come here. I heard the even beats of his heart and it had a calming effect on me.

What am I doing?

Am I scared of Nik? My Nik? Nik whom I love with every fiber of my being and who loves me more than life itself?

I'm being silly. He won't hurt me. And even if he does, it will be for my good. And I will take it. For I have hurt him too. Repeatedly.

Without overthinking again, I opened the door. I'm not sure if he would have told me to come in, had I knocked first. And what I'm sure about is that it would have hurt to hear his denial. Especially after last night.

I closed the door behind me and padded across the room towards Nik. I placed the tray on his huge desk and then rounded it to go near Nik, who hadn't yet acknowledged me. His shoulders were bunched up and there were stress lines on his forehead. He was focused on the papers in front of him and was writing something on them with the pencil in his hand.

My poor Love. I worried him too much.

I placed my hands on his shoulders and he tensed further but didn't say anything. I took that as a go sign and started massaging him. Slowly, I could feel all of his muscles relax. A small sigh left his mouth and a smile tugged at my lips. I kissed him at the back of his neck, making goosebumps rise on his skin.

"I love you," I said softly.

"I love you too." He said without missing a beat and then rubbed his face with his hand.

"I'm sorry, Love." I went and stood beside him and leaned against the desk so he could see it, see how truly sorry I am.

"I know," he replied and I hoped he would pull me on his lap like always. He can't stop touching me in some form when I'm around him, and now he refused to even look at me.

"Won't you forgive me then?" I pleaded.

"Why? Only for you to throw angry tantrums again?" His fiery grey eyes snapped to mine before they softened.

Tears pooled in my eyes as my belly clenched with hurt. "I'm sorry Nik," I gasped. "What can I do to earn your forgiveness? Shout to me if you want. Punish me. Hit me." A sob rose in my throat, making it difficult for me to talk. I heaved in a breath. "But I can't take your silence." I bit my lip to stop myself from crying out loud.

His hands circled my waist and he pulled me down on his lap. I buried my face in his neck and breathed in his scent. And it was like a rock was elevated from my heart. "I hate it when you cry."

"I know." I gave him the same answer he had given me before. He pinched my bottom and a giggle mixed with a sob bubbled up my throat. I know he hadn't forgiven me but he wasn't angry either.

"I promise I won't use my powers. I don't want to hurt you. And everyone else I care about. I will only use it when and where you ask me to. It is at your disposal, Nikolai. I will try to control myself better." I clutched his t-shirt. "Please give me one more chance. It's just— when I get angry, I lose control. I know I should know how to control myself but at that moment, it's like I can't see anything past my rage. It's not an excuse but it's an explanation. I promise I will—" his lips landed on mine before I rambled on more. His lips devoured mine, and I eagerly kissed him back. I had missed him.

He rested his forehead on mine and closed his eyes. "I was so angry at you Ava. So very angry." He released a harsh breath. "I still am."

I cupped his face and caressed his cheek with my thumb. "Why don't you let it out?" I whispered. I could barely control my anger. How can he do it for so long?

"I like to be in control of all things, Ava. That shouldn't be news to you. And that includes me too." He replied. "But you, you are always testing my control, Moya Lyubov." He seemed very troubled by that.

"I'm sorry." I kissed the tip of his nose.

"It's fine. If not you, then who?" He half smiled and kissed me again. I grinned a toothy grin at that. Goddess, I love this man.

"Me. Only me." I said possessively.

And that earned me another stomach-clenching kiss.