Chapter 39 Chapter Thirty Nine

S E G U N

My friends are a fucking joke.

"That girl's always squeezing my cheeks." Dipo makes a pained face.

"Then cover up your face with your two palms." Femi quips back.

"Not those cheeks." Dipo replies with a meaningful look.

Then Femi jumps in with his own meaningless banter. "These days, I don't have a type. I mean, there's a lamp beside me I think has the hots for me. I turn her on pretty much every day and she gets so hot and bothered, I've got to turn her off so she can cool off."

Dipo giggles foolishly.

See . . . bunch of jokers who don't have anything better to do than sit around exchanging lame ass jokes in an attempt to make me feel better. They've got me wishing I didn't pay heed to them dragging me out early in the morning to this bar in the first place.

With a growl, I pick up my car keys from the table and stand.

"Where are you going?" Femi has a scared look on his face. He probably thinks I'm going to kill myself.

"Nowhere! Everywhere! Somewhere. Shit! I don't know." I stalk off, amidst desperate calls from my two best friends and wierd looks from other guys at the bar.

I need to be alone. I just need some time alone to not think of her.

I need to get her out of my mind, but she refuses to go away.

She's like a fucking herpes virus.

She just won't go away.

I shake my head and try valiantly to clear it of the shadows of what could have been, but it's of no use. Her image is stamped fully in my mind.

Awake. Sleeping, taking a shower, not taking a shower. Eating, not eating. Actually, I don't eat much these days. All I do now is drown myself in alcohol and I've taken up the terrible habit of burning my lungs with cigarettes. Tastes like shit, but hey, at least it helps to keep my hands busy.

Maybe there'll come a time when I'll forget her. Maybe there'll come a time when I can even forgive her. Forgive her for taking my heart, nurturing it and then giving it back to me in pieces.

"WILL YOU JUST GO AWAY, PLEASE! YOU MADE IT CLEAR YOU DON'T WANT ME ANYMORE." Dipo says I'm a sucker for pain because everytime I take a look at my phone, her image taunts me from my homescreen, but do I dare change it?

That would be a big fat NO!

Her image is a reminder of a Has been, Could have been, Should have been . . . but didn't.

I swing into the road, my hands clenched tightly on the steering. "Why, princess, why did you choose him over me?"

The sky suddenly dims like lights in a giant theatre when a performance is about to start. Thunder claps send explosive rumbling vibrations to the ground, making me swerve the car wildly.

Instinct tells me I can't make it home. It's not like I want to anyway. Stacy's been living with Dipo and Ebere because she doesn't want to be around Mr. Grumpy - that's me by the way. So there's nothing there for me. I'll just have to drive to the nearest restaurant instead. I try to focus, but once again my mind slides to Eve.

Damn!

How I wish my mind was like a band-aid so I could rip it off and toss it into the bin. Then, I won't need to think of her so much.

Alright then, I'll just have to do something drastic to take her out of my mind, but the only thing that comes to me is getting fresh with another woman, and that makes me inwardly shrink. The thought is distasteful to me.

Roxy already tried her luck but it didn't work. She came to see me the day before Tom's wedding, dressed in a dress so short, I knew she wasn't wearing any panties. She'd stood at the door looking like a woman on a sex mission, and I knew if care wasn't taken, I'd be in trouble with Eve, so I'd stood blocking her way in.

I knew she was a bitch, but when she began speaking, I felt that was a new low, even for her.

"You know we had it good back then." She'd licked her lips, thinking that shit was going to get to me, but all it did was repulse me.

I'd rolled my eyes, already bored out of my head. "What do you want?"

"Well isn't it obvious? You, ofcourse. I never need to beat around the bush with you, Aurey."

"Don't . . . call me that."

I'd been disgusted she'd used the same nickname as Eve does. Even though we're not an item anymore, she's the only one who gets to call me that.

"Why not? Oh I know, because your barren girlfriend calls you that?" She'd looked at me then, a gleam in her eyes.

"Leave her out of this. Wait! What do you mean by calling her barren?"Roxy had tricks up her sleeves. but that didn't mean she had to drag Eve into it. My blood had boiled as I stood waiting for an answer.

"What do you think?" She'd used that opportunity to trace a pathway down my arms and across my naked chest.

I pushed her away when her hands began to go down south. A certain glimmer had entered her eyes then. "Bet you didn't know your girlfriend's been barren for almost a year now."

All the wimd had escaped my lungs on hearing those words. Within the twinkling of an eye, she'd gone on tip toes and planted her lips on mine and one hand on lil boy, trying valiantly to stroke the part of me that was dead except with one woman only.

Sorry Roxy, he doesn't respond to you anymore.

She'd spewed fire and brimstone with her eyes as she'd let loose a torrent of words thereafter.

"What are you now, a Eunuch?" After that, she'd disgustedly walked off, leaving a hole in my heart.

I blindly swing into Tina's restaurant, my heart thudding away.

I'm getting hammered.

That's the only cure right now to stop thinking about Eve.

The rain has begun to fall in torrents now as I lock up and dash across the parking lot, almost crashing through the door. Tina rushes to me. "Hello dear, how are ----" but I raise a hand, cutting her off and walk past her to take a seat beside the window.

Unfortunately for me, there are quite a number of people still eating cereal. One look at my face and Tina hurries them up, apologising profusely to them to leave as an emergency just occurred. They comply, and after twenty minutes, the last straggler leaves and Bowl 'n spoon is empty, save for me. One of the staff puts a 'closed for now' sign at the door and locks it.

"I need two bottles of Hennessy right now!" I say to one of the waitresses hanging around with fearful eyes.Without another word, she walks away and returns with a tray which has a glass and two Hennessy bottles balanced on it. I ignore the glass and open the bottle, tipping it into my mouth and sighing as the harsh liquid courses down my throat. It's a welcome distraction for my troubled mind.

By the time I'm half way through the first bottle, Tina approaches me. She sits in the chair in front of me and crosses her legs, waiting and watching.

"WHAT?!" I raise my hands up in question.

It's her cue to talk as she goes full throttle on me. "Don't do this to yourself, Segun. If she's meant to be yours she'll come back to you, but please don't drown yourself in alcohol to take the pain away."

I throw my head back and laugh out loud. From the corner of my eyes, I see some of the staff begin to fidget, talking amongst themselves and looking worriedly in our direction.

Great! They won't be the first to think I'm a class act.

I ignore her and tip the bottle against my mouth, but Tina holds it. "ENOUGH! I won't let you take anymore. Get a hold of yourself. You're a man now, you need to be strong and keep it together not fall apart the way you're doing. ENOUGH, I SAY!"

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO TELL ME NOT TO TAKE ANOTHER SIP?" I've had it with her bossy attitude. Neither she nor any other person can tell me what to do.

That should shut her up, and it does, but after a few minutes of silence, she sits up, leans close to me and in a tone I've honestly never heard her use before, she speaks. "I'm your mother."

That brings out the giggles in me. It erupts into full blown laughter. It takes me a few seconds to realise she's still speaking.

" . . . born at St. Nicholas hospital, Victoria Island. Your father named you Segun Phillip Scott." Her voice takes on a wistfull tone. "You were such a beautiful baby, everyone who set eyes on you fell in love with you. Your father was a business man then, and ----'

"YOU LIE! MY MOTHER IS DEAD, I NEVER MET -----"

She stands up suddenly and walks away.

Liar!

She's running away because she's guilty.

Soon enough, steps echo on the tiled floor and she materialises in front of me. She snatches the bottle I'm clenching in my fist and puts something inside my palms. Curious as to what she's up to, I stare at the file in my hand.

"Open it!"

I say nothing as I obey her orders, but only out of curiosity. A black and white picture is the first thing I see. It's not very clear so I put it aside, but Tina picks it up and caresses it. "It's called a sonogram. A picture of you when you were still inside my belly."

I bite my lips to refrain from calling her a liar, and continue looking through the file. The next thing I see is the picture of a baby. A cute baby with eyes closed and curly black hair.

"That's you as a baby."

I roll my eyes and sigh. I really wonder when this charade will end as I pick up the next item in the file. I remove a single document titled National populations commission. Under it is another sub-title; Birth certificate. My eyes skim through and jump to the names listed -- Olusegun Phillip Scott.

I look up sharply to see her watching me, a tell-tale sheen in her eyes. "You stole these documents when you were cleaning Mr. Faseun's office, that's why you have them, isn't it? Look Tina I'll forgive you if you just stop lying, I can't take much more of ---"

She lets out a chuckle instead. "I have all I need sitting right here before me, and that's you, my son. Now listen to me, because I'm not going to repeat myself. Your father --- Daniel Dotun Faseun was a very enigmatic man when I met him him at a red light district --- yes, I was a prostitute. We hit it off and he got me off the street and we had a whirlwind affair."

"As you can imagine, we didn't use any protection. Fast forward to nine months later, I had you." As she talks, she fingers a locket around her neck drawing my attention to it. "When you were born, I knew immediately your father wouldn't want me to keep you, so I cut off a lock of your hair as reminder and kept it with me. See!" She removes the chain from around her neck and I watch in shock as she opens the locket at the end of the chain with difficulty. It's rusty with age, but she still manages to crank it open. She removes tufts of hair from inside the small encasing, and places it in my already-outsretched palm.

As I raise it reverently to my nostrils, I can feel the wispy texture that can only belong to a baby. The smell of baby powder hits my nostrils, and I don't know how I'm able to, but I can suddenly picture her cradling a baby in her arms.

I'm dumbfounded and very confused right now. "But he told me my mother died."

"Yes! I suspected he'd lie to you. He said, and I quote. 'I dont want my son to know his real mother is a prostitute.' She chuckles, but I don't find anything she just said humorous. "I begged him not to take you from me, but he did. He put me in a hotel room and made sure I was well looked after. I was to breastfeed you for three months, after which he'd take you. That was the agreement, but I felt he wouldn't be heartless as to take a helpless baby from his mother.

"One day I left you sleeping in the cradle, and went into the toilet but when I came out, you were gone. All your baby clothes were still intact. I almost went mad with fear. I reported the case at the police station, but after three days you still hadn't shown up. A month later I got a call from your father, and he told me he was the one who took you."

As she speaks, anger begins to build up inside of me. How can one man think he can ruin several lives and feel comfortable about it?

How, for God's sake?

"He told me I'd never see you or him again and I should try to make a life for myself away from you, but how could I? Years passed. Long torturous years, and I never for once forgot about you. I stopped being a prostitute and took up odd jobs here and there. Twenty seven years later, I walked into a pharmacy, and after picking up the drugs I wanted to buy, stood in line at the pay-out section. That's when I heard him speak. I can never forget the deepness of his voice - It was your father."

It suddenly occurs to me she could still be in love with him.

I shake my head and fist my hands around the bottle of Hennessy, wishing it was his neck instead.

"At first he acted like he didn't know me, but when I kept insisting, he drew me to the side, dropped his hand that was around mine and said you were fine, that he had just come back with you from the States. He'd set up a drug manufacturing company in Lagos, so I begged him. I begged him to make me a cleaner in his company so I could at least stay close to you." She looks at me now, her whole face beaming. "He agreed to it on the condition I was never to tell you I'm your mother."

And that's how we met.

"I had to bear the hurt of seeing you everyday, growing into a fine young man and not being able to show my true love for you as a mother." She shakes her head as she continues speaking. "I saw you making so many mistakes with the ladies. You're like your father, son, you attract women to you like bees to honey, but you're better than him. I see only one woman has your heart right now and that gladdens my heart."

I remember I had taken to the always-smiling cleaner who arrived earlier than everyone and was still there even when I was working late. She'd come into my office and we'd strike up an engaging conversation. I had this pull towards her, and was always pleasanttly surprised at how well she could carry on a conversation. One day we got trapped in the elevator for hours, so with nothing else to do except talk, I asked her what she would have liked to become if she wasn't a cleaner, and she told me.

I decided to fund her dreams, and that's how the concept of Bowl 'N spoon came to life.

I just never realised I was doing it for my own mother.

All these years, fate played a terrible trick on me -- on us both, but it finally afforded me the opportunity of getting to see my mother again.

"Mother!" I stand up and kneel before her. She nods, as tears stream down her face. Taking her hands, I get up and pull her up.

"Let's go home."