Chapter 42 PUFF INTO THIN AIR

S E G U N

The sun shines brightly in the sky, drawing my attention to the big white fluffy clouds which line it like candy floss.

Birds chirp gaily, calling out to one another with abandon. Butterflies are not left out of the mix either, they flutter around, their colourful wings seeming like fairy's wings.

Even the air feels light and crisp. Not hot, not cool either, just the right degree.

It's the perfect day.

What could go wrong?

Yet, everything that could go wrong already has.

They say the truth sets your free, but that's a big fat lie.

The truth complicates things.

It's hard. Brutal. Full of spikes.

The truth hurts. It hurts bad.

I can keep going on and on about it, but the real truth, is - it's been two weeks.

Two weeks of mental torture. Two weeks of not knowing whether I'm coming or going. Two weeks of looking in vain for someone who left wih no trail or whiff of her scent.

She just dissapeared . . . puff . . . into thin air.

Where are you, Eve?

Please give me a sign. Something. Anything that will key me into your whereabouts.

I raise my face to the ceiling, searching for what, I don't know.

Maybe I'll find the answers to what's been plaguing me, causing sleepless nights.

Maybe I'll even be able to finally know the cause of her dissapearance.

So many maybes, but not an ounce of certainty.

The shrill sound of my phone pierces through the stillness of the room. I scramble for it before it's able to become a nuisance, and place it tightly against my ear.

Please let it be good news.

"Mr. Segun!" Chika, the policeman belts out, not even giving me a chance to say hello. "No show yet. We are still on the look out for her. I'm sure something will come u--"

Click.

I cut the call before he's able to finish his words.

I don't want to hear it. I'm sick and tired of hearing the same news over and over again.

His call will make it the tenth one I've already gotten since 5'o clock this morning. And they all bring the same news.

Eve is nowhere to be seen.

I've been to practically every police station within the Surulere and Lekki axis everyday since I heard the fearful news that she went missing. I've almost become a permanent fixture in those police stations.

I've been in the faces of the district police officers. I've threatened. I've begged. I've cajoled, but it's either my tactics aren't working, or someone doesn't want her to be found.

I was told to wait for a call.

The kidnappers always call within the first three days of abducting their victims, but it's going on three weeks now, and no one has called Eve's parents yet. I would know, because I spent the first week pacing the length and breadth of their sitting room, sleep deprived.

Just waiting. Hoping. Anticipating. For a call that never came. Still hasn't come.

Will it ever come?

I've never felt fear as strong, as rife, and as large as I feel presently. No, not even when Abdul pointed a gun at my head. I mean, then, I could beg for my life, but with Eve's dissapearance, I'm fucking running blind here.

At least something good seems to have come out of it. I think there's something about tough times. It bonds people together like adhesive glue.

After pacing back and forth with no form of comfort, Eve's mother stopped her waspish behaviour towards me.

I guess she finally met someone who truly cares for her daughter and decided to call it a truce.

Is it a wonder I became friends with her, my almost-mother in-law.

On the third day, she brought me a hot cup of coffee and a plate of sandwiches, after going without food for three days in their house. But even that was left abandoned on the side table, because I didn't have a lick of appetite, still don't.

Eve's dad had come to me after a week of no calls from the kidnappers, and told me to go home to take a shower and get some rest. He said he'd inform me when something came up.

I didn't blame him. I was probably beginning to smell funky. I know I was beginning to look like a grizzly bear as well, seeing as my beard had begun to grow out, but that was the least of my problem.

A hand lands on my shoulder, snapping me out of my reverie. "Dad!"

I look up into green eyes. Same pair of eyes that got me into the drug trade. Though, these pair of eyes staring at me with worry and a hint of fear are innocent and more vulnerable. "Dad, please . . . you have to eat something."

I pull Stacy close to me and crush her in a warm embrace. Her strawberry scent sails into my nostrils, reminding me of Eve. The longing that instantly pierces me is almost physical.

Why did she have to buy Stacy the same bath wash she uses?

Suddenly, I push Stacy away as I stand and walk briskly to the window.

I hear a choking sound - still, I don't turn round.

I'm so sorry, baby. I can't wipe your tears away. Not right now.

The door closes and I know I'm left alone in my room.

Once she leaves, regret tears through me. Regret for abandoning her this past one month. Ever since I stopped seeing Eve, I've pushed Stacy completely away. No matter how much she tries to catch my attention, I don't give her the time of day.

It's not fair, I know, but I just can't seem to help myself.

Even though it breaks my heart to see track marks of tears lying on her cheeks when I pay her a visit at night once she's asleep, at least that way I wouldn't have to listen to the myriad of questions from her asking about Eve and when she's coming back.

If I knew the question to that, I swear I'd have fished her out and demanded she marry me on the spot.

Unfortunately, she remains at large. Most probably in trouble with her captors and it's killing me slowly, knowing I'm not able to do a damn thing about it.

Now I know what it means when people talk about having a better half.

Eve isn't just my better half, though, she's a part of me, and her absence is telling on me.

It's telling on me real bad.

Mother says I should pull myself together, but how can I when it feels like part of my soul has left my body.

I feel a presence behind me and I turn around, just in time to see mother coming to stand beside me.

I take my time to walk my eyes across her face.

She doesn't look happy. Well neither do I.

I turn away from her and decide to stare outside the window instead, where the cycle of life continues, irrespective of my pain.

She says nothing. Does nothing, and I find comfort in her silence.

And then she spoils it by clearing her throat and launching into a tirade of words.

"When you turned three months old, you had a toy you kept playing with. You'd clutch it to your chest and wouldn't let go. Even when you fell asleep, I tried to take it from you, but you'd open your eyes almost immediately and let out a high-pitched wail, and I'd leave it with you. In an instant, you'd be asleep again." Her hand lands on my shoulder and stays there. "When your father took you from me, I was devastated."

She stops talking and gently turns me around to face her before she continues speaking. "All this while, I've been content to remain in the shadows - in your shadow. Watching, learning more about you, and just generally being close to you. Now that we have each other, I can't afford to see you this way. So sad and withdrawn from the people around you -- from me. I can't . . ." She takes a deep breath and plunges on as she shakes her head "I can't afford to loose you again." Her voice catches at the end.

I look up from where I'd been gazing at my feet, and stare into her eyes. Tears have begun to fall onto her cheeks and her shoulders are quaking, but she doesn't let out a single sound. Not even a whimper. I know she's trying to keep it together. I know she's trying to remain strong for me.

Still not saying a word, I take her into my arms and try to offer some form of comfort that I don't have. Comfort I've deprived myself of.

Still holding onto her, I whisper into the folds of her dress. "I'm scared, mum." She doesn't say anything. I know she's waiting for me to continue letting it all out, so I do. "I'm scared I'll never see her again."

I feel her hands rub my back in a circular motion, soothing away a bit of the anxiety struggling to break free. This time, my words come out in a rush. "The policeman said when we don't hear from the kidnappers after a week, it's usually a bad sign. An ominous one." I rear back suddenly and train a fearful gaze on her face. "What if something has happened to her? What if I never set eyes on her again? What if ---"

She puts a hand over my mouth, and I'm able to feel the rough texture of her palm. Years of hard menial job has taken it's toll on it. Suddenly I'm glad I found her. Glad I have her with me. So I crush her in an almost bone-shattering hug, but she doesn't complain. She doesn't say a word.

She knows I need to feel comfort from her. She knows I need to draw strength from her. So she gives it. Without preambles. Without any questions. Without any complaints. And I take it.

Still in my vice-like grip, she whispers into my ear. "Keep your faith alive, son. She'll turn up soon. I promise you."

I feel a tug on my jeans and I move away from her and look down, only to see Stacy looking up at me, a beseeching look in her eyes. My heart melts as I hold out my arms to her.

She moves in, and I take mother back into my arms as we all group hug.

I honestly don't know what tomorrow will bring, but one thing I'm sure off . . .

My family will always be here for me.