Chapter 35 Chapter 35 PAST, PRESENT & FUTURE

EBERE

My mouth hangs open in awe as I stare at his kneeling form with rapt attention.

"Please my chocolate, do me the honour of being my wife."

Say what?!

My eyes skid to the red velvet box he's clutching tightly in between his two palms. He sends me a tremulous smile and I notice with trepidation, his eyes are emitting an inner light. They shine with a wetness that looks suspiciously like tears.

I'm quite sure I didn't hear him well.

Maybe he mentioned a word that rhymed with wife instead.

Trife, maybe?

But that doesn't make much sense now, does it?

Please be my trife? No it definitely makes no sense, whatsoever.

Unless. . .

Deep hope swells in my chest like a blooming flower.

I'm still trying to piece together the meaning of his words in my mind, when Stacy joins him on the floor, holding a large bouquet of blood red roses that are threatening to swallow up her small frame.

So it's true! He really does want to marry me.

Hope transforms into a raging inferno of bliss, leaving me feeling warm all over.

Then an image of Chucks suddenly rears up unbidden in my mind.

Geometric downhill progression takes place, as the raging inferno wanes.

I spy the ring I'd forgotten to take off on my finger -- Chucks ring.

. . . and my initial hope peters off immediately like a candle being extinguished, leaving me with a hollow heavy chest.

What was I thinking?

Where on earth has my head been at?

If I know what's good for me, I'll stop this madness and go back to Chucks on bended knees.

Imagine what people would say if they learned I was engaged to two men at the same time.

They'd open their accusing eyes so widely and call me a bigamist.

Oh wait . . . that's not right!

A bigamist is someone who gets married to two people at the same time.

Right!

So no, I won't be called that. But surely the government can come up with a creative word for a woman who gets engaged to two men at the same time.

An engagist, maybe?

Sounds odd.

Whatever the case may be, it's certainly not right.

What on earth is Dipo thinking?

Matter of fact, what on earth are father and daughter thinking, kneeling in front of me with big, puppy dog eyes?

I'd better step away from all this madness, swallow my pride and go back to Chucks with my tail between my legs.

But I don't want Chucks, I only want Dipo.

It seems I'm facing a serious dilemma here.

To engage or not to engage, that is the question.

With a sigh, I realise I can't imagine a life without Dipo in it. No need kidding myself any further.

I will, however, need to break off the engagement with Chucks, because lately he's been clinging to me more, as if he has a sixth sense that something is off.

I feel like a ninja, removing his ring whenever I'm not with him and putting it on when I am.

It was and still is wrong to two time the both of them, I know that, but I have had a heart to heart talk with Dipo and he isn't pressurising me one bit, always telling me he trusts me to do the right thing.

The right thing in this instance is obviously to break it off with Chucks, but damn it, my heart is too weak to do that.

Chucks came into my life when everything seemed bleak, years after Zubi closed my heart down and made me vow not to ever look at another man again.

That was pretty difficult, because Chucks isn't anything like Zubi, thank goodness. If anything, he is nice and well

. . . nice.

In other words, he is safe and yes, dare I say it . . .boring.

Hmm! Whatever! Boring is wayyyyy better than what I've been through.

But struggle I did. I struggled to love him, to find somewhere in my stained heart to care for him, but it was and still is futile.

I felt I was doomed to a loveless life forever, until I happened on Dipo.

Do you know with him it was actually 'hate,' at first sight?

Okay maybe I'm exaggerating a bit. But only for a bit.

I couldn't stand Dipo's guts.

He was, and still is to a large extent, an undiplomatic human being. He talks and says things without mincing words and if you don't know him very well, you'd think he hates your guts, but that's just him being him.

We quarreled about everything initially, until one day, we just clicked.

Not long after, we tumbled into love.

Sound funny?

That may be so, but that's exactly how it was. We both couldn't help the feelings we felt for each other and so one day after an evening stroll, with me valiantly struggling to keep my feelings at bay, he let it spill that he loved me and I obviously couldn't hold back my feelings anymore.

I told him everything about Zubi and finally about Chucks and how I'm engaged to him. And then I'd waited with bated breath for him to say something. To take me out of my misery from the heavy poignant silence.

He'd turned to me with a radiant smile on his face and said even if I were married, there wasn't any going back for him. He loved me and that was that.

The horror! The horror!!

Just kidding!

The joy! The amazing joy!

The blissfully awesome joy I felt made up for all the hurt I'd gone through with Zubi, and the boring company I was in with Chucks.

I knew that day he was mad.

Yes! Madly in love with me, yet I wouldn't have him any other way.

I guess I am also a bit mad as well.

But true madness is wearing a ring for a man I don't love, while another kneels at my feet expecting me to say yes to being his wife.

Yes! I am certainly more than a bit mad. Rack raving mad would be a more fitting word.

But this madness has to stop and very soon too.

I glance at him from beneath my lashes and then at Stacy, who has gotten up and is offering me the roses.

It looks like she's offering me herself, instead of the roses. I can't really tell, because her whole frame is completely enveloped, almost swallowing her up -- yes -- that's how large the bouquet is.

I sigh impatiently as I take them from her tiny hands and place them on the dining table. Immediately her face emerges, on which a large smile is pasted.

"Aunty E, these lovely roses are from daddy and I." A frown materialises on her face, replacing her smile. "Won't you tell daddy to stand up?" Her big eyes beseech me, and an emotion quite like worry has begun to creep into them too.

I had been so spaced out on ruminating about my dilemma that I'd forgotten to tell Dipo something -- anything that'll make him stop this madness.

Don't get me wrong.

I absolutely, totally, unequivocally want to marry him, but I obviously have to break it off with Chucks first, before I can venture into getting engaged to another man, and not so soon, surely.

It seems too easy.

Our relationship has not yet undergone any form of test yet.

There seems to be no barriers. How can I be sure I'm not making a mistake by agreeing to be with him for the rest of my life?

"Aunty E!" Stacy's pleading drags me back down to earth and away from my ruminations.

Flustered, I smile waveringly at her. "S... sorry sweetie, aunty was a bit lost for a moment."

I turn to Dipo who still has that silly calculating smile on his face. My eyes narrow as I watch him.

Oh, really?

He expects me to throw myself at him?

Or maybe he expects me to shower him with my undying love?

Oh, I get it. . . he probably expects me to get down on the ground, one knee in front of him, tears shining like a beacon in my eyes and tell him how I can never live without him.

Is that so?

I'll show him undying love.

Walking up to him, I place a hand beneath his arm to help him get up, but he refuses to budge, along with that stupid self satisfied smile on his face.

"Dipo Timilehin Akinyemi, stand up this instance." I use my firmest, brook-no-nonsense voice, hoping to pierce through the madness surrounding him.

The smile wavers from his face, threatening to get wiped off but it stays in place, more firmly this time.

I flick stricken eyes to Stacy who is watching us avidly. Not wanting to deride her father in her presence, I smile sweetly at her. "Stacy darling, could you please tell B.I.G. mama to get me some water. Aunty is parched."

But the smile that spreads across her lips show she's caught on to my plan to send her away. "Aunty E, I know you want me to leave you and Daddy alone so you can tell each other those sweet things that taste like honey. Don't worry, I'll go to my room to do my homework and I'll only come out when you call me."

Warmth suffuses every part of my body and I can't bare to look at her as she walks off.

For a little girl, she's terribly astute.

When I look back at Dipo, his smile has grown even wider, if that is even possible.

I walk closer to him, narrowing my eyes with the intention of chastising him, now that Stacy is out of ear shot, but as I stop in front of him, I notice something has changed. The red velvet box in his hands is open, revealing a white diamond ring so big and so blinding that I instinctively close my eyes to ward off its brightness. I'm not kidding.

When next I open them, Dipo is at my side, holding the huge ring against my finger. I notice with some satisfaction, his smile is gone, but his stance is one of self assuredness.

He then proceeds to remove Chucks simple looking engagement ring from my finger. Once it's off, he pockets it and replaces it with his blindingly huge one.

It fits like a glove.

I stare transfixed as it catches the light. Tiny rays of shiny light shoot off from it. I'm unable to tear my eyes away from it. Don't blame me for this, because it's even more breathtaking on my finger. I make sure to blink several times to ascertain it's real.

Dipo smiles and cups my chin in his palm and turns me to face him. "It suits you a lot." He sighs and moves way from me, stepping further into the sitting room and backing me in the process. "I know what you must be thinking. That it's way too soon for us to get to this stage since we barely just met two months ago, but why wait?" He turns round to face me once more, his face cloaked in seriousness. "I'm crazy about you and I know you're crazy about me as well."

I try to say something but the words won't come out. I open my mouth again, still nothing slips out. I try to speak up, to say something one more time, but give up when I'm turned into a temporary mute.

He's rendered me speechless.

Instead, I stare helplessly at him. He takes this opportunity by moving close to me once again. With his face just inches from mine, he stares intently at me. Feels like he's staring straight into my soul as his warm breath fans my face. I close my eyes and lean towards him, wanting to feel more of him.

I know he feels the same way too!when I feel his hands wrap themselves around me, enveloping and cocooning me in a warm protective shield. I sigh as I lean into him, placing my head against his chest.

When his heart beat quickens, I smile.

"You know I will go with whatever decision you make. You know that, right?" His words rumble deep in his chest, sounding like a roll of thunder. With my ear pressed against it, I nod, snuggling deeper into his warmth.

He pulls away from me and cups my chin once more, looking deep into my eyes. "Please, make the decision to be with Stacy and I. I promise to always make you happy. Please!"

Now how do I say no to this?

I nod yet again, as moisture stings the corners of my eyes.

"I love you." I whisper.

He shakes his head. "Not true. I love you more, my chocolate."

*

Trees and houses whizz by in fast motion, mingling with each other until they create a kaleidoscopic blur.

The sun has decided to peek out from the sky after a thunderous bout of rain. Debri sticks out of the waist - inch deep water on the ground like a sore thumb. The floods get so bad that people have to wade inside to pass through. Just last year it was reported on the news that a crocodile was found inside the flood.

Don't believe the hype, though.

Luckily the driver moves on, only stopping in front of a familiar brown bricked house. Here, the gutters are wide and drainage is good, so the streets are relatively dry. The blocks of flats sit, cream and unstained, glinting in the noonday sun.

I pay the driver and walk the short distance up to Chucks' flat. It sits on the first floor, beckoning to me like an old friend.

Advantageous thing about his place is that it's just two streets away from mine, so I don't have to cross miles to see him, nor even dress up to make it out to be somewhat of an adventure, either. The downside of this is, we never leave his neighborhood for anything, not even to hang out. Everything revolves around his area.

Remember when I told you our relationship was boring?

Yeah, well, there you go.

I drag my feet across the stony path way and make my way up the stairs. The closer I get to his door, the more a heaviness settles in my chest.

I breath in and out through my nostrils and mouth, hoping to assuage the nervousness fluttering around in my chest. The only thing this does is alert me of the sharp acrid smell of a burning tire in the air. Nevertheless, I whip out the key from my sling bag with clammy hands and slip it into the slot and turn. It doesn't budge

That's wierd!

Okay, maybe I need to exert some extra effort. Sometimes, it gets stuck and needs a push.

Twenty minutes later, with all my muscles taut and strained, sweat pouring down my face and neck and pooling under my armpits, I'm an angry mess because I'm yet to open the door.

I know for a fact that Chucks is home, because I saw his car parked at the back on my way up and his favourite leather slippers are staring me in the face right now where they're neatly stacked in front of the door.

And if that's not indication enough, the soft music filtering out from inside, keys me into the fact that he's definitely home.

So why doesn't the key fit?

Unless . . .

No.

It can't be.

Could he have . . . ?

No, I don't think so.

Surely he couldn't have changed the locks. Surely!

I fit the key into the lock one more time, jimmying it to see if by some stroke of luck it opens.

A minute later and still no luck, I decide to give up.

Big question forming in my mind now, is, why did he change the lock?

Is he trying to hide something from me?

He'd given me a key to come and go as I liked, even though I'd never had to use it. Now the one time I plan to use it, it fails me. Hmm!

Maybe he had to change it because the lock got bad.

Maybe.

I decide to give him the benefit of the doubt as I reach for my phone to call him.

But out of the blues, inspiration strikes.

What I do next makes me ashamed the thought crossed my mind, especially since it's something I learnt from Zubi. But since I promised myself I'd never stoop to his level again, it gives me food for thought, making me pause.

But. . . I haven't done anything exciting in a while. So throwing caution to the wind, I put my phone back in my bag, remove the bobby pin holding my hair in place and slip it into the lock.

It takes me only half a minute to hear the click . . . and the door opens effortlessly, granting me access inside.

A wicked thrill passes through me as I step over the threshold.

I feel like a villainous character in a movie right now, because I'm trespassing on private property. My fiance's property, granted, but still private property.

Regret lances through me as my initial bout of courage ebbs. I hope Chuck's won't be too angry with me. Maybe I should just call him.

I decide to backtrack. Turning around, I'm stopped in my tracks when I hear laughter. Feminine laughter.

Oh?

I cock my head to the side and listen.

Nothing. No noise. No laughter. Just soft music playing.

I must have imagined it.

With a released breath, I take one step towards the door, when the laughter begins again. Definitely feminine laughter. It's quickly followed by Chucks deep baritone one.

I come to a complete halt and do a total turn around. This time my steps are quick and jerky as I move determinedly forward.

The laughter continues, leading me right up to, you guessed it --- his bedroom.

A bedroom I shared with him. A bedroom I took care of lovingly, a bedroom in which I've lain with him in my arms. There, another girl is, probably laying in his arms.

This is not right! Definitely not right.

My feet make quick walk of the ground, eating it up as I stride forward.

They are both starkers as I step into his room. He on top of her and she obviously beneath him, giggling like a bloody buffon.

What a gory sight!

I stand, looking at the mess before me.

As is usual of two people in heat, people who can't wait to get their hands on each other, the room is in a state of total disarray. Clothes are strewn left right and centre.

Their clothes leave a trail right up to the door, up to my feet. A striped bra lies at the foot of the bed, while his boxers are not far from it on the floor, crumpled.

I pick up his shirt. I recognize it. I'd just washed it last week, along with a bunch of all his other clothes that lay neatly folded in his wardrobe.

Looks like a freeze machine has been set in motion as they both become immobile when they notice my presence.

I shake my head slowly from side to side in disbelief and turn around.

"Ebere... wait, please wait."

Heavy steps thunder behind me as I increase my pace. I can't get out of here fast enough. It feels like I'm choking. My throat feels constricted.

Are these tears running down my face?

Now why would I be crying?

This was a boring relationship, yet I had stuck through it for three years.

People don't just throw three years of a relationship away because of another woman, or do they?

Yes! They do, apparently, and so do you, so stop acting like the world is coming to an end.

The voice in my head chastises me and I wipe furiously at the tears with my sleeves as firm hands whirl me round.

I stumble, but they steady me. I come face to face with Chucks eyes. Dark brown eyes that I thought I'd stare into for the rest of my life. My gaze slides down to his bulbous nose. I hate his nose. I always thought it was too big and wide for his face.

" --- and that's why I did it. I'm so sorry. Are you listening to me?"

I snap out of my daze as the invisible weight finally lifts from my chest. Smiling dizzily at him, I dip my hand into my bag and remove both his key and ring. Lifting up his hand, I tuck them both into the crook of his palm. "Thank you."

He stares agape at me, obviously not expecting that. "Wh. . . what for?"

For making it easy for me to break up with you. But I shake my head instead. "Just ... be happy, although you don't deserve it."

Then I reach into my sling bag once more, bring out my white diamond ring -- Dipo's one and slip it onto my finger, and watch, as Chucks mouth falls open.

I sigh contentedly, give him a once - over, pat him on his naked shoulder and waltz off...

My present and future await me.

I'm free to be with Dipo, finally.