Chapter 48 THE PLEDGE

SEGUN

She rears back like I've just slapped her. "Wh . . . what?!"

I sigh tiredly. I knew she'd get this way, I fucking knew it, but I'm not going to hide anything from her. I'm so done running from my past and the attendant pains it's been giving me. I'm done. I glance at her from beneath hooded eyes and notice she's staring in the opposite direction.

Those beautiful almond shaped eyes aren't looking at me. I need them to look at me. I need her to see I'm not a murderer. Yes, I did kill a man, but it was either kill or be killed. It was plain self defense.

"Don't fault me so soon, baby, not until you hear the full story." I tell her tiredly, taking a hold of her fingers and feeling the softness of her palms, like she's never put them to use a day in her life. It's one of the many things I love about her.

She tries to slip them from my hold, but all it does is make me clutch tighter. Not letting go, not now, not probably in a long time, either.

"You killed a man. How could you? How could you k ---" Her voice begins to take on a shrill quality. I've got to put a stop to it.

"Princess, please stop!" I say forcefully. When I realise how it came out, I grip her fingers tightly and continue in a more gentle voice. "I already told you not to judge me. It's a very long story. One I hope you'll want to hear." I make sure to draw her shoulders gently towards me.

"Whenever someone says it's a long story, the reverse is usually the case." She looks deep into my eyes with a steely glint.

"I assure you, princessa." The last word rolling off my tongue smoothly. It's been too long since I spoke Spanish. I missed the heavy inflections and the way the words sounded in my mouth. "It actually is a long story. I know you don't need popcorn for this, because my story isn't fictional, nevertheless, you haven't eaten a thing all day. Please let me go rustle up something for you, at least."

"Forget it!" She barks. "I need to hear your long story."

Why is she suddenly treating me coldly?

Ah! Understanding dawns on me.

I understand perfectly how she feels, what with Faseun's misdemeanors towards her. She obviously wouldn't want to make the same mistake again, not even with someone she loves.

Not even with me.

Yes! I certainly understand.

The onus is on me to come clean. I realise that's the only way she'll ever come to trust me. Seeing as there's no other way than to start except from the very beginning, I close my eyes and allow old memories wrap themselves around me like a cloak. A very heavy cloak, indeed. Still, I've got to wear it. I've suppressed my memories for over twenty years. Bitter memories that are better left buried.

But. . . I need my princessa to know me, truly know me and choose to be with me, so I open my mouth and delve into my sordid past.

"I'm Mexican by birth. My name is actually Aureliano." I begin, my mind already traveling down memory lane.

Her cackling confuses me and anchors me firmly back to the present, making me gaze at her in confusion.

"Something funny?" Her mouth is wide open and her head is thrown back in mirthful glee.

"Are you serious right now or are you trying to diffuse this tense situation." She manages to get out, in between choked laughter.

"There's nothing amusing about my nationality, princess. At least I don't find it funny." I try, but fail to keep the edge out of my voice.

Her eyes take on a rounded look, as her mouth falls open. Her reaction almost makes me regret my statement. Almost.

"You're really serious. You really are Mexican. How come you're ---"

"Dark skinned? Black?" I supply, cocking my head to the side to assess her better.

She nods, still with a shocked look on her face.

I shrug, not knowing how to answer the question. "Don't know. Your guess is as good as mine. Haven't you seen a black couple giving birth to a blue - eyed child before?

She nods yet again, with the same shocked look on her face. "Aureliano is a beautiful name." She whispers.

"Yeah? Well it means golden haired. As you can see, I'm far from that." I gesture to my head. "It seems my father felt it ironic to name me that, at least that's what my mother said to me."

I watch as she shakes her head, still very much dazed from my admission. Realising I'm impatient for her to know more, I delve back into my memories and swallow the bitter pill that is my past.

"I was born in Sayulita, a small fishing town in Mexico. We lived in a run down shack near the sea shore, initially inhabited by a hobo. What little memories I have of my father are not good. He used to stumble in late, the stench of liquor permeating from his pores and filling the air - deprived shack. He'd beat my mother if he didn't see food to eat. We were dirt poor, you see, so food was always a problem to come by. If we weren't begging tourists that came from different parts of the world for money, we were scrounging through half - eaten food that littered the beach front. Sometimes flies would already have perched on the food, but that never deterred us, oh no, because we'd eat it, only too glad to see food, albeit unsanitary. By some feat of luck, we never got sick." I unknowingly clench my fists on the bed, relieving the distateful memories, until I feel Eve's soft hands enfold mine.

I glance at her from beneath lowered lids. I see no pity in her eyes. I see no scorn. All I see is warmth, as she nods and smiles encouragingly for me to continue. Maybe I'm not a lost cause, after all. Her feathery touch gives me the strength to go on.

I breath in deeply and surge on.

"You see my father blamed my mother all the time. I don't really know the details of his angst, but it had to do with me. I always caught the word Bastardo when he was talking about me. Then one day when I woke up, he was gone. You'd think mother would be overjoyed, you'd think she'd be floating in the skies with joy." I chuckle bitterly, remembering how she got when she found out father left us. "She was like a walking corpse the day she found out he left us high and dry. I had to scrounge and beg, all on my own, a seven year old boy. It was . so . fucking . difficult." I remember the cold, I remember the scorn from people, I remember the racous laughter and also the beatings. I remember it all. "Even then, mother did not come back from whatever cocoon she was wrapped in. She seemed to have lost all the life in her. She was like an empty husk, mooning around in our run down shack. She went on this way until one day something terrible happened that shocked her out of her shell." My fingers dig ridges into my palm, causing pain in my knuckles, but I discountenance it.

Eve unfolds my fingers and begins rubbing small circles on my palms. "You don't have to go on if it's bringing back too much bitter memories." Her eyes shine with unshed tears.

Are those tears for me?

What she doesn't know is that as bitter as the memories are, I have to face them head - on. I've got to face them squarely. I've wasted too much time and energy holding them at bay. I've also wasted too much sleepless nights, had one too many migraines, all because of this same past of mine.

No more!

I'm doing this for her as well as myself. She needs to know and decide if she wants to continue to be with me. She needs to hear about everything that led up to that one night I killed Abdul.

"No!" I shake my head. "It's fine. I've got to tell you." And surging on, I continue relieving every bitter memory, every sting. I remember the biting cold on that fateful night ---- the night we became homeless. "One night, we woke up to a roaring noise over head and bits and pieces of the rickety shack falling around and over us. It was terrifying. Mother clutched my hands and we both rushed out, just in time to see the catterpillar tearing through the run down shack. The government was on a mission to rid the beach front of all forms of rubble and dirt. While that was a good thing in itself, it was also terrible, in that they just couldn't be bothered with who they destroyed or killed in the process. They didn't think we were human enough to warn us to relocate. They just didn't care. Thinking back on it all now, I think they actually meant to destroy us. We were like vermin after all, and what do you do to vermin? You exterminate it." I finish, answering my own question.

Something lands unto our entwined fingers. I blink in surprise as I look down at it. It's colourless, like water. When I look back up at Eve, tears are falling like dew drops on her cheeks.

"Princess, what's wrong?" Fear laces my insides.

"Please, stop!" She whispers, solemnly. "I can't bear to hear what you went through. I had a home, loving parents, regular food to eat, good clothes on my back and so much more, while you . . . " She's not able to finish as her whole body racks with sobs.

Who knew my princess could feel so deeply for the suffering of the less privileged, or maybe it's just me she feels sorry for. I smile as I take her into my arms and hold her tightly to my chest. When she's calmed down a bit, she opens her mouth to talk. "Aureliano . . . can I call you that?"

I stiffen, wondering where that came from. "Um . . . princess, you can call me anything you want, but Aureliano. . ."

"I know how you must feel about . . . your true name, so I'll only call you that when we're alone." She says softly.

I nod and say nothing, unsure of how I feel about being called by my original name. A name I had to change in order to blend in. "Can I go on now?" I ask.

She needs to know how it all went down. She needs to know how mother and I left the shores of Sayulita and how we would have almost walked to Tequila town, if not for the good Samaritan woman we met, and how ---

"No, Aureliano!" She quips, resorting to calling me by my Spanish name and making me wince. "I honestly don't want to hear anymore. If you killed someone . . . " She visibly exhales, then continues. "Then, it must have been in self defense. Besides, it's all in the past now, right? So no, I don't want to know anymore. As long as. . . as long as we have each other, I don't care about any other thing."

Oh princess, I hope this doesn't come back to bite the both of us.

"Please, I need to finish my story, I need to ---- " A dainty finger is placed on my lips, stopping my word flow.

"I trust you, my Aureliano. I trust you. I don't need to hear anymore. Let's go look for something to eat, please. I can't fight off this hunger anymore."

I gaze at her disbelievingly. I knew it. I knew she was a goddess the moment I set my eyes on her. My goddess. I know I love her, but now I adore her desperately. My heart swells to almost twice it's size as I keep gazing at her in awe.

"Yes baby, let's go get you something to eat." I manage to say.

"Wrong! Let's get something for US to eat." She lifts up and kisses me sweetly on my lips.

Taking my hand in her's, she tugs. She forgets I'm still starkers underneath the sheets and she's still quite shy at seeing me naked. But she better get used to it, 'cause I plan on being naked with her much more often.

I stay her movement and quickly slip on a pair of boxer shorts, making sure to back her in the process. Sometimes she acts like a virgin that she's not.

She might as well be, because she's damn tight which almost makes me spill my guts once I get inside her. Thank goodness for pacing. I swear she can make a priest sin just by staring at her.

"Aureliano!" She looks at me with a bright smile on her face. "I'll just microwave our left-over food from this evening. I really don't think there are any more food supplies left."

It's going to take some getting used to her calling me by that name. I had all but forgotten I was even of Spanish descent. If not for Dipo, who . . .

"Where's your mind at?" Once again she anchors me back to the present, and to her.

"Right here with you, baby!" I reply, threading my fingers in between her's. I can't keep my hands off her. "I don't need food, though. All I want is you. I could eat you for breakfast, lunch and dinner and I still won't be satisfied."

She smiles shyly and busies herself pressing some buttons on the microwave.

Once our food is piping hot, we sit in front of the TV and watch a 1960's old flick. I don't really know why we chose to watch it, but I assure you none of us is actually concentrating. Instead, we watch each other openly, at least I do, while she watches me covertly. I catch her once or twice and she quickly throws her face away.

My princess is wayyy too shy. I've got to make her feel more comfortable with me, but I've got to ease into it gently. My delicate flower has got to bloom once more.

Twenty minute into the film, she dozes off on my chest. I glance at her plate, only to notice she hardly touched her food. So I decide to polish it off instead.

I smile to myself. I know she doesn't know how to cook. Ebere warned me about it, begged me not to breathe a word of it to Eve. That's fine by me, because I happen to be a great cook and I'll cook to my heart's content for her.

Fuck that, I'd gouge out my eyes and cook it for her, if need be.

As I lift her up into my arms and carry her to the room, I'm left with an odd foreboding feeling in my chest.

I disregard it as I pull the duvet over her and place a chaste kiss on her forehead.

I honestly don't know what tomorrow will bring. Frankly speaking I don't care, so long as we're together.

Nothing else matters!