FORTY SEVEN

Ryder

After Lexie had left, I stood there transfixed on the elevator for the duration of the meaningless time that passed. Perhaps it was only a minute, or perhaps it lasted the whole night. When I finally tore my eyes away from what I was looking at, it was still night. That was all I knew. The air had become cooler, and the fiery red clouds that had been hovering just above were now beginning to move across the sky. In Los Angeles, the aroma of rain was neither musty nor clean. It had a flavor reminiscent of metal. A bitter aftertaste to linger. As soon as I stepped outside, I inhaled deeply of its fresh air. The first drops of rain were already beginning to fall gently. The blazing flames within the candles trembled angrily as they evaded the petty spats that were occurring between them.

I stood there in front of the table for an additional uncountable amount of time, taking everything in. She'd gotten herself into a bit of a pickle. The carbonara and fettuccine were both dishes that I was familiar with from Giardo's. The flowers had just been picked. There was nothing familiar about the candles. She must have purchased everything before I arrived home, and then she must have waited in this room for me to come back.

I just couldn't picture what she looked like. No, not at this time. If I could have conjured up the image of her face turning whiter under its tan, the roses falling from her cheeks, and her large blue eyes filling with tears, I don't know what I would have done in that situation.

‘

I needed to get it done, I told myself again and again. I didn't know how I was going to heal the wound the news would create in my relationship with Samantha, but I did know that it would be a hell of a lot easier if the knife wasn't still buried in the flesh. I didn't know how I was going to heal the wound the news would create in my relationship with Samantha. Samantha could possibly comprehend the concept of a fling. There would be a period of time during which I would lose her respect, and the issue would remain between us even after we had moved on. However, I had no idea what would take place if Lexie continued to stand in our way. How was it possible for her to get around something that remained in front of her?

As I walked to the edge of the terrace and placed my hands, palms down, on top of the rough, chest-high wall that stood between me and a free fall of thirty stories, I made sure to keep my thoughts focused on my daughter the entire time. I was keeping my word to always look out for her safety by providing this protection for her. When I had her in my arms for the first time, which was close to twenty-two years ago, I looked down into her little face and swore that I would always be there to protect her from any kind of pain.

It goes without saying that I hadn't kept it. It was a promise that could never be kept. No one could ever protect another person from the innumerable papercuts that life inflicts on its inhabitants. At times, I'd even been the one who caused the pain by allowing the demands of my career to prevent me from spending time with her. But I'd done my best. I had to learn to walk away from difficult negotiations and deals when they threatened to overrun her high school graduation or our vacation plans. I also had to learn to let go of deals when they interfered with our plans for a family vacation.

Now was the time for me to learn to let go of Lexie. to get up and leave without turning around. It was the only option available.

I had lunch with Andrew and Lyndon the following day after we all met. I had complete faith in each and every one of my four close friends, but I didn't require the services of a business manager like Michael or a producer like Julian. This very moment. I required a crisis manager as well as something that could provide an alternative to the information that Kim was about to obtain.

I could tell that Lyndon was in a lot of pain because he kept shaking his head and spreading his hands out with the palms facing up. "I'm sorry, Ryder. "She is not dirty."

I nodded grimly. I was not surprised in the least. They had followed Kim for a total of two months without seeing her receive even a parking ticket during that time. Even looking through the most recent few years of her history, they were unable to find anything. And prior to that, it was all information that Samantha and the courts were already aware of. The arrest made for cocaine. The trading on the inside. The suspicion, which was strongly supported by the evidence, was that she had spent some time working as a high-class call girl in Las Vegas. It was a long shot to hope that Lyndon had discovered something at the eleventh hour, but we decided to give it a shot anyway. But as the waves of disillusionment crashed all around me, I became aware that I had hoped.

Andrew positioned himself to take the next step and leaned forward. "What options do I have?"

I shook my head. I had no fucking clue. I’d sent clients to Andrew before when their personal lives were threatening to overshadow their professional, but I’d never needed a crisis manager myself. I’d lived the straight and narrow because I was too damn busy for detours. Besides, I didn’t need him to manage the professional fallout I might experience. That would be relatively minor, unless Ryder artists started coming out of the woodwork to claim they’d also had relationships with me and that the power differential had made them feel coerced. Those could be disproven, but the stain might remain. What I needed Andrew to manage now was how I looked to my daughter. How did I soften the blow?

Andrew was silent for a few minutes, breaking it only to order when the server came over. Finally, he looked back at me. “There are two ways to manage this with Samantha,” he said. “One, you put the onus on Lexie. She pursued you relentlessly. Didn’t want to tell her because you didn’t want to ruin the friendship. Lexie caught you in a weak moment. It was a one-time thing. You didn’t mean for it to happen, and it will never happen again. You’re just as disgusted as she is.”

“In other words, lying to your daughter,” Lyndon said bluntly.

I paid him no attention. I was ready to deceive Samantha if that was what it took to get what I wanted. However, I found it difficult to lie about Lexie in such a manner. I understood the perspective, but the very notion of painting her as a gold-digging slut by saying those things about her made me feel nauseous. I was aware of the angle. "What is the alternate route?" I asked, clenching my teeth.

Lyndon and Andrew exchanged a quick glance with one another. I had the impression that it was common knowledge to them, but I needed it to be spelled out for me. My normally quick and agile mind felt as if it were a rat trapped in a box. It was desperately trying to find a way out of the situation, but the only things it could find were walls.

Andrew advised, "You tell her the truth before she hears it from someone else," adding that this would be in her best interest.

I waited for him to elaborate, but he gave the impression that what he had already said was sufficient.

"Is this what you do to make people pay you?" I inquired, raising the volume of my voice. "How does being honest contribute to the management of a crisis?"

Andrew responded, unruffled by the remark, that "sometimes it's the best answer." "Most people appreciate honesty. Even if they don't agree with it, it seems natural to them when they hear it. If you want to trick people into believing a falsehood, you have to cover up the sour taste with enough sugar to fool them. The truth is always more palatable than lies.

"That is nonsense,"

He shrugged. "If you say so."

I tightened my jaw in frustration because he wouldn't put up a fight. I needed a place where I could direct all of this frantic, conflicting energy. They left me to stew while they prepared our food. Following that, Andrew asked, "What's wrong with telling the truth?"

I immediately responded by saying, "I can't have them both." If I make an effort to keep Lexie in my life, I fear that I will have to let Samantha go.

"No one mentioned anything about keeping Lexie," the speaker continued. I have just instructed you to tell Samantha the whole truth.

I was completely baffled and just stared at Andrew.

"Jesus," Lyndon mumbled under his breath. He is so ignorant that he does not even know what the truth is.

Yes, I did. Even though I didn't want to admit it, I was aware that it was the case. However, the only reason Lexie continued to pursue me after I told her to back off was because she experienced the same electric energy that I did. And sexuality was never the only factor involved at any point. I couldn't help but feel attracted to her.

Andrew was explaining everything to me in a calm manner so as not to aggravate me further. Tell Samantha everything that's really going on, that's what I suggest you do. You developed feelings for her closest companion. You both tried to prevent it because you were aware that it would be harmful to her, but it ended up happening anyway. However, despite the fact that you have fallen in love with Lexie, perhaps for the first time in your entire life, you are willing to back away from the relationship if that is what Samantha requires of you. You don't want to do it one bit, but you're going to have to."

Lyndon was nodding. "If you try to play this any other way, all she's going to think about is the fact that you fucked her best friend, no matter how you phrase it." Things will be different once you explain the reason to her. People are able to deal with virtually any situation as long as there is an explanation for it. A justification. A reason why"

Andrew and I both came to the conclusion that "it's the senseless acts of violence that fuck with people the most."

While I was considering it, I kept saying, "Tell Samantha the truth." When Andrew stated it in that manner, everything made perfect sense. I was able to be truthful with Samantha about what Lexie meant to me without directly mentioning the fact that Lexie and I are together, whether Samantha liked it or not. If it turned out that Samantha was genuinely unable to handle it, I would steer clear of Lexie for the rest of my life. On the other hand, at least this way I had a chance of retaining custody of my daughter as well as the woman I loved.

Lyndon and Andrew came to the conclusion that Samantha needed to know the truth.

After I finished my meal, I realized that I didn't have a lot of time left. I was unaware of the time frame in which the PI intended to hand over the information to Kim, but I was aware that only a few moments would pass before Kim communicated the information to Samantha. It would surprise me if she attempted to use it as blackmail against me. Bringing shame on me in Samantha's eyes was worth more than any amount of money I could ever hope to earn. She was looking for evidence that I was concealing assets and by chance discovered the one secret that I had kept from Samantha. She was hoping to find it.

However, despite the fact that thinking about it caused the muscles in my jaw to tighten to the point of discomfort, I was unable to concentrate on finding a way to exact revenge at this time. I intend to do so someday. But before I could do that, I had to get a head start on the story. Over the course of our time together, I had picked up that much knowledge from Andrew. The person who took the initiative most of the time received the benefit of the doubt. I required every advantage that was available to me at this time. There is only one thing that could make this situation even more dire, and that is if Samantha found out about this from Kim rather than from me.

I was on my way back to the office when I called her.

"Hey, Sam, clear some time on your calendar. Tonight, I'm going to take you out to dinner."

She questioned in surprise, "Dinner?" "So, is this something like a Zoom dinner?" You're going to eat at Giardo's while I go to Olive Garden, right?

"No, if you really want to go to that god-awful establishment, you'll find us both at Olive Garden," she said. I'm flying in."

Another thing I've learned from Andrew is to never discuss anything significant over the phone.