Breathe

Emily’s Pov

I keep checking the clock. My shift ends at 3 PM, so I have to rush to the gym and hope Blake will still train me. It’s 2:34. Jeez, can these last few minutes just fly?

“Emily, can you please help with these patients? We’re short stuff and the nurses can’t keep up.” I sighed, watching the clock. There are literally 10 minutes left.

I rushed to the first patient and then the second one.

“I really need to get going,” I said to Linda. She glares at me like I had a date or something.

“No, it’s not what you think? I’m actually...” I kept quiet before I told her where I was going. Blake asked me to keep this to myself. I’m sure Linda won’t say a word, but I need this. I’m already 5minutes late, so I pray he will still help me.

I jumped on the bus and it was already 10 minutes past 3 PM. I jumped off the bus and almost forgot to pay the driver.

“Your late,” Blake mutters.

“I know, I’m sorry, patients came in and I couldn’t...”

“I don’t need your excuses, I need your commitment.” he throws a blindfold and gloves at me. I stared at the blindfold.

I can understand the gloves, but what am I supposed to do with the blindfold?

“Put the blindfold on,” he sarcastically said when we stepped into the cage.

I don’t know if I should feel scared or relieved that he didn’t throw me out of the gym for being late.

“Let me.” he took the blindfold and placed it over my eyes.

“What now?” before I could finish my question, I was on the floor.

“First lesson, never expect to be attacked. You should always be ready. Stand up.” my eyes blurred from not seeing a damn thing. I can hear Blake’s breathing but I can’t see where he stands.

The next thing I felt, a glove hit me against the head. Not hard, but enough for me to drop to the floor again.

“How am I supposed to learn how to defend myself if I can’t see the person?” I yelled at him.

“Can you hear me breathing?”

“Yes,” I said in an angry voice.

“Focus on my breathing.” I relaxed my shoulders and listened to his breathing. I heard him step forward at the sound of his breathing, but another shot hit me.

“What a fuck.” I removed the blindfold, and tears escaped my eyes with no warning.

“Never focus on how or who is attacking you, focus on how he is breathing and how he will approach you.” he removes his gloves and steps out of the cage.

“So that’s it?” he doesn’t answer me.

“Blake?” I yell.

“Go home Emily, focus on your breath and come back tomorrow.” is he fucking kidding right now?

I jumped out of the cage and punched him in the ribs with my gloves still on.

“You know I expected that?” he brags. I attempt to try again, but he grabs my fist.

“I said go home and practice your breathing. You’re trying to fight me out of anger, as someone with so much anger will never be able to focus.” he stares into my eyes. I had to blink a few times, reminding myself why I was doing this.

“You can’t just dismiss me like you want to. I’m here because you said you would teach me how to defend myself.” I practically yell.

“No, you made me agree to help you, and I’m telling you, you’re not ready until you get rid of your anger,” he yells back. I started crying not because of him being so disrespectful, but because he was right.

I am angry. I’ve been angry since I was 8 years old, and the night in the Alley multiplied the anger I felt all these years.

I grabbed my bag and practically ran out of the gym.

Maybe this is not for me. I hate being useless. At least in the ER, I can save people and people actually respect me there.

I went home and took out my phone, reading a message from Emma saying they were going clubbing.

“What a hell, I need a distraction.” I jumped in the shower and dressed in a black dress that actually didn’t hurt my rips. The bandage is already so tight. I don’t need a dress that’s going to make me feel like I can’t breathe. I curled my hair and put on makeup.

I jumped on the bus and went to the club. Blake is a jackass and I don’t need another stepfather telling me I’m weak.

I finally made it to the club, and Emma was already waiting outside for me. I ran up to her. She hasn't seen me in ages. Between the ER and studies, I just couldn’t find the time to go out.

“Wow, you look stunning, are you meeting someone here?” she asks, flickering her eyes at me, making me laugh.

“If only,” I joked back.

“Come, our drinks are already waiting for us. Let’s have some fun.” we both smiled, and she hooked her arm around me.

“Can we have two tequilas and two whiskeys, please?” Emma asked the bartender, and he nodded.

“Wow, they packed this place with people. Any special occasion?” I asked, taking a sip from my whiskey.

“Yeah, all the kickboxing champs are here tonight, so everyone wants to meet the handsome bachelors.” it feels if my heart just dropped to my stomach.

“Kickboxers? Is one of them Blake?” I asked, hoping she would say no.

“Yeah, and oh God, he is the sexiest of them all.” She laughs while she downs her tequila.

“Let’s dance,” she said, standing up from the chair and grabbing my arm.

“You go ahead. I will join you now.” She pulled her face in a sad puppy way, making me giggle.

“I promise. Just give me a second to warm up.” I showed my finger to the booze, and she smiled.

Actually, I just want to down the glass of whiskey and go home before Blake shows up.

Emma keeps showing me to come dance and I keep showing my glass to her. It’s still full. We’re, in fact, I’m ordering one glass after another and keeping my eyes on the door hoping Blake doesn’t come through it.

He made me feel like a schoolchild this afternoon, and this whiskey is treating me nicely after I got dismissed like trash.

I ordered another shot of tequila and downed it in seconds.

“Can I get you another one?” I heard an all too familiar voice behind me.

“Do you think I can handle another one? Or should I go home?” I answered with sarcasm when Blake sat next to me. He smiled and I was way too drunk for this conversation.

“So I thought nurses don’t drink?”

“Who told you such a bullshit story?” he glared at me from the side and our eyes melted together.

Emma is right, he is the hottest here, but he made it clear that he’s not interested, and to be honest, neither am I, I think.

No, actually I’m not. He made me feel weak this afternoon.

“Have you practised your breathing?” he asked me with a neutral voice.

“Actually, I’m doing it now, focusing on my breathing not to punch you. You made me feel like shit this afternoon, and dismissed me as a school child.” He turns his chair and stares right into my eyes.

“Breath, take a deep breath and focus on mine.” I can’t focus if he looks at me like that, but I kept my focus on his breathing, and it calmed me down. I took a deep breath.

“What are you doing?” I grabbed his hand when he tried to touch my tights. He smiled and turned to take a sip of his drink.

“You focused on my breathing and knew when to grab my hand when I tried to touch you,” he answered, and I smiled with shock at him.

“Have a nice evening, Emily.” he stood up and disappeared into the crowd, leaving me with more questions and how to practice this breathing technique.