Trust

Blake’s Pov

I’m still sitting on the couch like an ass. What was I thinking?

If my dad was here now, he would’ve said with your *dig* but yeah, he is not here, and that is not what I was doing. For the first time in my entire life, I felt something, something that I wanted more of.

I’ve had women in my life before. I know the adrenalin feeling of winning over and over, and I know how it feels to have a joint and to zone out, but this feeling I don’t know.

It’s a feeling of wanting someone or something so bad that you’re willing to give up everything for that.

It’s a feeling that you can’t see or touch, but it stares at you brighter than the sun and cuts you deeper than a knife. It’s a feeling that you beg to hold on to, but it’s slowly slipping away into the darkness, and the only way to grab it is to climb down the lather and pull it up.

*meet as, at the club, drinks on me XOXO* the text reads from Vicky.

Fuck this darkness shit. I’m not pulling anyone up. I’m training her to defeat her darkness instead of pulling me down with it.

I jumped off the couch, took a shower at the gym, and made my way to the club. Tonight it’s all about women and getting drunk.

I called the taxi and gave him the instructions for the club.

It’s about a half an hour's drive. I looked out the window I find myself again thinking about Emily. Her perfect body, her scent still under my nose even though I showered.

“Fuck.” I yelled. The cap driver almost rolled the car. His eyes were enormously big.

“Sorry, sorry!” I said, holding up my hand to show him everything was okay.

Everyone knows me here, and fears me, even the ones I’m partying with, but not Emily. She has her own fears and I’m not one of them.

The taxi driver stopped and the number of people screaming my name was uncountable.

I used to love the fame, but something changed inside me.

I went up to the VIP lounge and order a drink. I feel empty standing here until Vicky grabs me from behind and kissed me.

“Long time no see lover boy,” she said, as sexy as always, but her outfit is screaming slut and takes me home. If it was any other night, I would’ve kissed her back. Instead, I turned my back and ordered another shot.

“What are we having?” she asked when I glared over the balcony and see Emily, Linda and some other two dudes and the medical director coming into the club. The one has his hands around Emily’s back and anger stirs inside me. I felt anger before a fight, but never over any girl.

Fuck, I could’ve slept with her the previous night and ignored her the next day and not even felt a damn thing when I saw her with another man, but Emily I haven’t even kissed yet, and the anger is killing me for seeing her with another man. I glared at how she looked. She’s so beautiful and innocent. Her wavy blond hair perfectly matches her style of outfit. A twilight mini dress in black high heels and her lips perfectly made with red lipstick. Her blue eyes shine bright in the light of the club and she is all smiling.

“Fuck this,” I said out loud and grab my drink and kissed Vicky.

“There he is.” Vicky smiled when I grab her and kissed her with force.

“I thought I lost you there for a minute.” I gave her a fake smile and ordered a tray of drinks when the others joined in.

They pulled out a joint, and the crowd is standing in a circle to take a puff. Honestly, I don’t even know what I’m doing here? I just want to go home and have a rest, being in the same room as she drives me crazy, and I was the one who said no strings attached.

“So which sexy blond are you taking home tonight?” Miller asked while I hang over the balcony, my eyes fixed on Emily’s moves.

I stared while she was having a great time with her friends, the one guy touching her and talking into her ear, making her laugh. Her ankle is still swollen. She keeps taking her shoe off, rolling her ankle and putting it back on.

“What’s her name?” Miller asked, giving me a shot of tequila. I took it out of his hand and look at him with so much anger.

“I’m just asking, man,” he said with fear trembling in his voice.

“I don’t date. When I am done playing, I get myself a new one.” I pressed the small glass against his chest. He nodded, and I turned to the bar.

I rather get drunk than have all these unfamiliar feelings escaping from their jar.

“Who wants shots, ladies?” I picked up the tray and when I turned around, Emily was watching me like I was some crazy man trying to get a girl into my bed tonight. We stare at each other for a few seconds when she turned her face, leaving me yet again empty.

I gave an evil smirk. Took a sip from the tot glass and pulled Vicky closer and kissed her with the alcohol in my mouth.

I was always the one in control. I won’t have her come here and control my emotions. Vicky obviously looks like she won the lottery with that kiss and the fake makeup on her face.

“Blake, this is Miss Goodwin and her students from Virginia hospital in the south. She asked me to show them around and why people drink, some that get rushed into the ED never speak about their problems and why they have alcohol, problems.” Emily’s eyes are glaring at me while Vicky sits on my lap, sharing a joint with me.

“Okay, so we’ve seen it all. Thank you, Tommy.” Miss Goodwin said in a rush, probably the smell of the joint.

“Well, if you guys want to stay and observe, you are more than welcome, but I’m going home.” Miss Goodwin said to Emily, Linda and the guy hanging on her lips with another dude.

“No, I think I will have an early night as well,” Emily said and smiled at Linda, who was begging her to stay.

“What, you can’t take the heat, Em?” I asked while taking a puff from the joint. Her eyes catch on to me and it’s burning yet again through my core, and if I’m not mistaking the emotion I’m seeing, it almost looks like I touched a nerve. What do you call that emotion? Anger, that’s right, she looks pissed.

She removed her jacket and placed her purse on the table. I knew she was going to do that. Anger makes her do stupid things. I would rather have her go home, but like always, my feelings got hurt, and I played the game.

“A tray of shots, please.” She said to the bartender and down one after another.

Fuck, what did I just do?

“Yeah,” the guy who was hanging all around her screams and down a shot.

Tommy, the owner of the club joins them and explains to them when alcoholism should stop and when they call an ambulance when someone had too much to drink and all sort of fucking bullshit, we’re in fact most drug overdoses and alcohol overdose comes from this club.

Emily is hanging on to every word he says. I know she doesn’t know how to drink, or to party actually, and by me saying she can’t take the heat made her want to show me she can.

They order another tray and Tommy joins this time. He’s moving closer and closer to her with his barstool.

“What? do you like the nurse?” Vicky asked, grabbing me to kiss her. Emily looked over her shoulder, and I pulled back from Vicky. I don’t know why, but she looked relieved when I pulled back, so I decided to pull Vicky back and kissed her.

We all sit around the table having drinks-making shit conversations. Tommy and the nursing student whose name I don’t even want to know can’t keep their eyes off Emily.

They pass a bottle of vodka around the circle like some fucking school children and the joint makes his round as well.

I felt relieved when Emily passed it on, not taking a puff from it, but she’s still drinking and already tipsy. Tommy is laughing at every fucking stupid thing she says, and the student agrees with every word she’s telling them about medicine.

“This is not medicine. You can actually die from alcohol.” I Let out, and everyone kept quiet, glaring at me. Emily took the bottle and was sure to have a smirk before she took a sip from it.

I kept quiet most of the time, while Vicky tried to get my attention a few times and Emily was beyond drunk already, making her vulnerable for one of these jackasses to take advantage of her.

“I think you’ve had enough.” I stand up and grabbed the bottle from her.

She stands up from the couch and can hardly keep her pose and grabbed the bottle back.

“No strings attached, remember?” she tilt her head backwards and took a sip.

“Em, you had enough.” I tried to take the bottle from her when Tommy stepped up.

“Dude, let the girl have some fun.” he flickered his eyebrows, and I knew exactly what that means.

“Come, I’m taking you home,” I said when Tommy grab her ass and before I could think clearly Tommy was lying on the floor with a bloody nose and Emily All over him to stop the bleeding.

“What are you doing?” Emily yells and everyone looks at me with fear except for her, and it made me even angrier.

So I did the one thing I know will push her over the edge.

“For an abusive stepfather that was a drunk, you sure know how to drink?” her eyes went wide and tears filled them immediately. She only stared at me with pain, not fear. Linda is glaring at her with question marks all over her face. I guess she never told anyone but me and it made me regret what I said.

She stands up from the floor, removed her shoes and run off the stairs.

“Em?” I called back, but she ignored me.

“Em?” I call again and grab her arm.

“Leave me alone,” she said, her face inches away from mine. I can actually feel the pain rippling through her body as she said leave me alone, like an 8year old little girl begging her stepfather to leave her alone because he hurts her. I backed down and could never feel so fucking ashamed and angry dd hurt at the same time for what I just did to her.