67
Days passed with Tahti, making no progress as she couldn't figure out how to portray her emotions in her piece, one particular evening. How exactly did Professor Lee expect her to do that?
She was telling her piece when she had a sound behind her and her head whipped round to see it was only Sol, dropping a fruit snack on her desk as she propped herself on April's chair.
"Here you go." She said.
"Thanks." She murmured with a smile, as he reached to take the cup.
"You're welcome." She replied before she raised her eyes to her piece. "Is it not going on well?" She asked and Tahti turned to look at him t for a moment.
"I don't know. I should keep working on it, but my head feels blank."
"But you know...sometimes, things can just work out suddenly, if you think there is no hope."
Her head slowly turned back to look at Sol, and noticed her expression had changed. She was blowing, compared to how she looked a week before.
"I guess there's something going on." She said.
"What?" Sol asked as she looked away, before raising her hand to massage the nape of her neck. "No...nothing is going on."
She was a terrible liar. She'd seen Jennie earlier too and she was looking her best.
"I'm happy for you, Sol." She said and Sol turned her head to her. She deserves happiness, in no matter from it came.
"Jeez, Jennie...She told you, right?"
"Jennie didn't tell me directly...I just realised it now."
"Yeah, I'm sure she must have been obvious."
"No." She scoffed "You're more obvious."
Sol thinned her lips as she straightened "Well...I didn't think I would be this happy...Jennie said you are an excellent counselor."
She sighed. "It is easy to give advice to others, but I can't do anything about myself."
"But is it really over between you and Demir Wilson?"
"Why did you ask?"
"It's nothing. I just thought you two made a great couple... Getting attracted to each other like that...You guys made it feel special." Sol said, with a smile. "It's like a miracle."
She couldn't help scoff quietly. Meeting Demir hadn't turned out to be a miracle, but sheer disaster and she had brought it upon herself. "A miracle? That's what I will say about you and Jennie. It's totally different from Demir and I...Maybe, it was all wrong from the very beginning." She told her and slowly turned back to look at her piece.
"Tahti."
Someone called and the girls turned to see Henry, making his way into the studio. Tahti looked particularly surprised to see him as second-year students rarely had classes on Thursdays and since he worked part-time, she had thought he would be at work.
"Why are you here?" She asked, when she neared.
"Surprised ya, didn't I?"
"Totally."
"Well, my boss gave me the rest of the week off so I figured it'll be nice to come help you work late today. What do you think?" He asked.
"I won't be working today."
"Why?" He asked, a worried look on his face. "My shoulder blade hurts from working for a while, so I'll take a break today. I'll probably work late tomorrow." She replied.
"Okay."
"Yeah. You look worn out." Sol said and she smiled as she raised a hand to massage her shoulder.
A pop up on the screen of her phone and she looked at her phone. It was a message from Josh.
«I just arrived Los Angeles. Want to meet up?»
A smile crossed her lips as she lifted her phone to type.
«Sure. Where are you?»
«The restaurant. Are you at school? I'll come over right away.» His reply came in almost immediately.
«No. I'll come over. I was feeling famished anyway.»
"Senior." Henry called and she raised her head to look at him.
"Huh?"
"That's Josh, right? The person you're chatting with, right now." He asked and Sol looked at her for a second before turning to look at her. "What?"
He angled his head in doubt. "But I thought there was something going on between you and Demir...Wasn't that the reason has been doing glass project, because of our piece?" Tahti couldn't believe her ears. Was he really asking her such a question? He had quite some nerve.
"But are you really going to date that Josh? Ever since the workshop, this entire crew has been saying that there's a higher chance of you dating him. Is that true?"
"Hey, don't you think you're going too far?" Sol asked and he smiled, leaned towards Tahti.
"It's okay, Tahti can tell me anything..." He said and turned to her. "Right?"
"Why should I?" She asked, her temper slipping. Did he think they were close just because they had gotten closer while they had work together. Why was he interested in who she dated all of a sudden and how dare him pry into her personal life?
"Why are you getting upset?" He asked, curling back like a centipede.
"It's because you just crossed the line." Sol told him with a sigh and Tahti raked her fingers into her hair as she reached to pick up her bag before she rose.
"You're leaving?" He asked.
"I have somewhere to be." She replied as she slid over the arm of her bag on her shoulder, before she turned to head out of the studio. She came face to face with Demir and her eyes almost popped out of their socket, on seeing him. Judging from the look on his face, she doubted he had heard every word she had said but she didn't care less, she reminded herself as she walked past him, headed out of the school.
Tahti slipped out her earbuds and plugged them into her ears, music flowing into her ears as she walked out to the road. She always found comfort in listening to music, whenever she was sad or troubled, but it didn't seem to relieve her as it did then nowadays and that reason upsetted her.
She flagged down a taxi, and hopped into it, telling him where she was heading on it, before shutting her eyes, trying to focus on the music she was listening to.
The restaurant was closed, by the time she arrived and she looked through the glass door to see Josh making something in the kitchen. Smiling, she alighted, after settling her bill and pushed through the door before walking in. "Sorry, we're..." Josh was saying but stopped when he raised his head to see who it was.
"Closed?" She asked, with a smile which he returned with a shake of his head.
"No, we're open."
She walked towards the counter, to drop her bag as she perched up on the stool.
"By the way, I saw your videos. You finally revealed your face and it seemed to have increased your viewers. The comments were amazing too."
"It's all thanks to you."He smiled, from the kitchen.
"No, I didn't do anything." She replied and Josh disappeared for a minute, to fetch something, and she raised her head, when he started to walk towards her.
"I got them printed."
"What are you talking about?" She asked and he lowered his head to the album he dropped in front of her.
"What's this?" She asked as she reached to album, and she gasped on seeing a picture of herself at the beach.
"Whoa..." She muttered, flipping over the rest of the pictures to see another picture from the beach and she lifted her head to look at him.
"When did you take this?"
"The day we had the picnic at the beach. There are some other pictures of it too."
"I think I drank that night." She added, with a smile.
"Yeah. You can busy yourself looking at rest of the picture. I have to disappear for a while." "Okay." She replied and he returned back to the kitchen almost immediately.
This was the life she wanted, she said to herself and she went through the pictures, which made the edges of her lips go up in a smile. She also has a right to be loved, not to be enslaved in somebody's bed.
Dinner was served, a couple of minutes later and Tahti was dumbstruck to see the type of grand meal he had served her for dinner.
"I only said I was famished. I didn't say you could cook for an entire crew...and what's with the noodles?"
She hadn't had Korean noodles in a while, even though they were Korean restaurants around.
He chuckled. "Which one of them do you want to answer first?"
"The noodles. Answer the noodles first." She replied.
"Well...I figured it would have been a while, since you had homemade meal from your country."
There. That was one thing she wanted from Demir, that he never gave. His considerations. "And the second question?"
He slipped his house in his pocket. "You said your critique went badly, the other time we spoke and I'm sure you must have been busy to get the proper meal..."
"So, you decided to make me a meal to cheer me up." She finished, for him and he nodded. "Thanks, Josh....You're a really good guy." She smiled, which he returned.
"Dig in." He gestured and she picked up the chopsticks on the tray. It had been years, she had last used one, as her mother had been bent on making her an American citizen, no matter what.
Josh watched her slurp up a little bite and he looked nervous as he checked her face, while she straightened, searching her face to know how it tasted.
"Delicious." She suddenly announced and he sighed, in relief.
"Thank goodness. I thought I would screw it over, since this is my first time making it."
"It tastes nice, but doesn't taste as good as my aunt's." She told him and he pretended to roll his eyes.
"Duh."
She busied herself having dinner and he walked over to get an umbrella in a corner. "What is this?" She asked, on seeing the umbrella.
"Take it. It will rain today." He replied and Tahti frowned as she turned back to look at the evening clouds, which showed no sign of incoming rain, but rather where heading for home.
"It doesn't look like it at all."
"Take this if it rains. I have another one." He replied and she reached to put it in her bag. "Thanks." She replied and turned to the album again. "These pictures look very nice."
"You think so too? I came over to your house one time to give it to you." He said as he perched up on the stool, behind the counter.
"Really?" She asked, surprise written in her voice.
"Why didn't you drop by?"
She would have entertained him if he had told her he'd come around.
"I wanted to, but I saw you and Demir going into your house together."
That made Tahti's ears spin and she almost went into a fit of coughing immediately he had said that. She slowly straightened from where she was slurping her noodles.
"I know I said I would wait for you, no matter how long it takes but...I felt jealous."
"Josh..." Good Lord. What was she supposed to say? 'It's not what you think' didn't sound ideal.
"Tahti, I really wish you were happy...but have you ever felt that Demir Wilson sincerely likes you? Even once?"
No, she wanted to say but the voice failed her at the moment. April had been right, this entire time. His moves were all calculated beforehand and that was why there had been no sincerity between them. He had only wanted a willing body in bed, someone he could sleep with, with no strings attached.
"I'm sorry." He apologized, on seeing the expression on her face.
"It's okay." She told him.
It was as if her skull had finally cracked open and the bitter truth was fed to her but it was better that way.
She spent a while with Josh till it was two minutes after ten, and she was about to leave when the rain had started pouring, which turned out to be a surprise to her, as the clouds had been deceiving earlier.
"I'll call you a taxi." He said, as he walked back to the counter to make a call.
"I don't think that's necessary. My place is not far from here."
"Still, I can't let you walk in the rain." He protested and she resisted the urge to laugh. "You gave me an umbrella before, don't you remember?"
"I didn't forget but there's no way I'll let you walk back home in the rain and this late. Neither, will I let you get all drenched." He said, worry written in his voice.
"Josh..." She started.
"I guess there's no need to ring up a taxi." He said, looking ahead of her and she followed his eyes to see a taxi had just pulled up in front of the cafe and Peter, Josh's his boss was alighting.
"Come with me." He said, walking over to take her arm in one hand and the umbrella in another, before he raised it to put it up.
"I'm really okay." She said as he walked her out of the restaurant. Peter, who had an umbrella over his head, threw her a wave as they walked past and she reciprocated, before he led her to the car.
"Call me when you get home." He smiled as he helped with the car's door.
"I will." she said, as he raised a hand to help her get into the car.
"Where to?" The driver asked.
She turned to look out through the car window at Josh, who was watching the taxi as it drove off, after she'd told the driver her address. He was a good friend and she was sure he would make a good lover. Too bad, she wasn't in love with him.
Her mind shifted back to compare how things were with Josh, to the times she'd been with Demir. She'd smiled more often, which was quite a thing.
The cab pulled up in front of her apartment, barely five minutes later and Tahti, although she'd initially objected to the ride, was glad she had taken it, as it had saved her the stress of walking in the harsh weather, for those few minutes.
She settled her bill with the taxi, before she set up her umbrella to alight, with the thoughts of making herself a warm cup of tea, which soon disappeared on seeing a drenched Demir, who was seated at the entrance stairs, with his head lowered.
"Why are you here?" She asked,and she raised his head as she walked towards him.
"Hey." He called as he rose. "Why are you home so late? Were you with Josh, until now?"
"Are you drunk?" She asked, when the smell of whiskey hit her nose. "And it's none of your business, who I choose to hang out with."
"You're ridiculously cold. Am I boring to you since you have someone else now?" He fired.
"Let's talk when you're sober." She replied. There was no way she was going to exchange words with someone, who wasn't in his proper frame of mind.
She made to walk in, when he reached to take her arm, yanking off the umbrella out of her hold and she shrieked, when she started feeling the rain drops on her.
"What's wrong with you?"
"Does he still like you even after seeing us enter your house?" He asked, and Tahti slowly raised her head, from looking at the umbrella.
"What?" She asked and he released her hand.
"Incredible." He scoffed. "Is that why you choose him instead of me?"
"You knew Josh was here that day?" She asked, in shock.
"Yeah. You should have seen the look on his face. It looked like he would burst into tears." He replied and Tahti raked her fingers through her hair.
"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked, trying to stay calm. She was in disbelief with his behavior that he saw Josh the other day, the same day she told him about wanting to be a good person in the eyes of Josh and not disappoint him. They were both aware of Josh's good sides, and she had even been bold to admit that Josh had a lot of good points and he does not deserve to be disappointed. She couldn't be blind to how good Josh treated her, and yet Demir let her down.
"Why would I do that?" He snorted. "Oh, that's right. You said he'd be disappointed if he ended up dating you, only to realise you're not the same kind of girl he loved in the past. Should I told you to explain things to him? Did you really expect me to let you run off to tell him that my coming to your place at night wasn't to have sex with you?"
"What?" Tahti stared at him, wide-eyed in shock, unable to believe what he'd just said.
"Don't pretend to be dumb. It's true we had that kind of relationship. It's true I used to come here at night, to have sex with you."
"Have you lost your mind?" She shrieked and he scoffed.
"You shouldn't get angry at me, Tahti. I'm just saying the truth, like you did."
What truth? She wanted to ask, but it didn't matter.
"Was that why you asked me out? So you having sex with me?"
"Wasn't that what you wanted?" He retorted, and snorted on seeing the disappointment on her face.
"Oh, I guess that's not what you wanted from me. Asking you out first, so we could keep having sex?"
"Then, I guess I was right. You saying all those stuffs about liking me and my face was just total nonsense. You only asked me out, because you saw Josh as a threat to me getting back to sleeping with you." She blurted, knowing she wasn't supposed to say such a thing late at night, but he'd brought out the worst in her.
"Look who's talking. Didn't you see Stella as a threat too? Why did you tell her I liked sleeping with girls who tied their hair up? Wasn't it to screw up the relationship I had with her?"
"Yeah, it was to screw your relationship over." She bit out, before he could finish. She was so done holding it back.
"You were leading me on, to think you liked me, but saying I was a friend, only for me to find out you had a girlfriend. That's right, I told her, because you're nothing but a piece of trash."
He chuckled, a stony mask on his face.
"Then, am I the only piece of trash here?" He asked and Tahti bit her lip, as she curled a fist.
"Do you regret it?...Do you regret everything we did?"
"Yeah...I regret it." She replied, her insides boiling, at the moment. "You, this messed up relationship, everything we did, I regret them all...But, I won't blame you. I brought this all upon myself. I knew there was no happy ending for us, but I was a cool for getting my hopes to think, you could be sincere." Her voice broke off in anger, and Tahti released her fist. She wasn't going to be like other girls, who loved to throw the accountability of their errors on someone else.
"You once said I had a right to decide our relationship...I don't want to see you again." She announced.
She'd had enough with his misleading signals, him double-timing her.
This was the end of things, she decided silently as she brushed past him to head in.












