HYBRID TYGER 06

Emily Gordon

I just wanted to get out of here. The shame I feel about myself is inexplicable. I hate myself. I just do shit. Maybe that's why nothing works out for me, the only and exclusive culprit is me. Obviously all my actions were idiotic like that and that's why life has been wanting to screw me at all costs.

Did you need to throw yourself at the Hybrid, Emily?

Rejection hurts no matter how long you've known someone. I am proof of this after being rejected so many times in my life, I have a history of mother, father, friends, boyfriend and even job vacancies.

I sit on the couch feeling my throat hurt from trying to hold back the tears, I seem to be more sensitive than usual, however everything that is happening is out of the ordinary for me, this whole situation, from the beginning.

— You can sleep in a bed, I have a guest room although I never see anyone. - his voice is close but if you want I can look at him.

“Here is good. Thanks. I lay down, curling up under the blanket he had laid there for me.

- You are sad. What did I do? - just kissed me with an otherworldly kiss, drove me crazy with desire, stuck a finger in me and then rejected me.

— I'm fine, I'm going to sleep at least two hours. I don't want to bother you any more than I already have. - I hear his footsteps approaching and I close my eyes, I can't look at him.

He touches my thigh and I want to cry, I bet I have PMS.

“Emily. - He calls me and I refuse to open my eyes - What did I do?

“Men…always playing the cynic. I murmur very softly.

“I'm a male,” he grunts. “I'm not playing cynical. — I need to get used to him hearing any murmur — I don't remember doing anything to hurt her. We were kissing and then I was just straight with you about not being able to have sex with you so I wouldn't hurt you, then you were sad.

- Don't worry. You're right, it was just sincere. I'm upset with myself.

“Why are you upset with yourself? I get irritated.

"Because I threw myself at you like a bitch in heat, I'm ashamed!" Being rejected is not a very good thing, you know? I was willing to give myself to you even without knowing you, until finally you were lucid and pushed me away, for your reasons but you pushed me away.

“I didn't reject you. I don't want you to think this way, you putting it like that sounds like I looked down on you for not finding you attractive enough. Unwillingness to enter you is not, quite the opposite, Emily. I want you so much that I'm still hard and I fear losing control hurting you, I couldn't rest easy knowing that I turned a pleasurable act into pain for you.

"Why are you so sure you'd lose control and hurt me?" I'm not mad, I'm confused.

“No female has left me in this state. I've felt aroused before, but for you it was to the point of pain. You're in heat and the smell drives any male crazy. — I don't know if it's an ego boost or something bad.

I decide not to let myself be moved by his words but also to be honest with him, as he was with me.

“I'll be honest with you too, mind?

- Of course. That's all I appreciate most, sincerity is a strong trait of hybrids no matter how much it hurts someone, we just can't lie.

— The point is that the phrase "I don't enjoy sex if I can't be what I am." It affected me, okay? I'm just being honest too. — I hate how my voice comes out full of hurt — But I know I don't need to worry so much because soon I'll be leaving and we'll never have sex because we'll probably never see each other again and even if we did, it would never happen because I have self-love and knowing that you won't appreciate it because you can't be the way you are wouldn't make the experience any good for me either.

Outside the noise of the rain, which was calm before, starts to get loud again, I hate it because I don't like rainy weather, I feel vulnerable because of my phobia of thunder.

After a few seconds, Tyger continues to stare at me like he wants to say something, he looks worried and uneasy, then a low growl rumbles from his throat and he presses his fingers into my thigh, it doesn't hurt but it's hard enough to leave a small brand.

“Emily, I don't enjoy sex if I can't be what I am because being what I am would hurt you. I won't enjoy hurting her when all I think about is giving her pleasure. I hate myself for having hurt her. I'm sorry.

I'm really speechless, I don't know what to answer, so I'm silent for a few seconds looking at my lap. I can understand it now, he's huge and he could hurt me, I've never had an active sex life and I've only shared a bed with one man, his finger on me must have noticed that since after doing that he stopped kissing me immediately.

- Everything is fine. — doesn't seem to believe it — Really, Tyger. Thanks for worrying about me like that. - smile or for him.

Tyger runs his tongue over his lips before opening them to speak, and that small gesture alone makes my stomach tingle. I remember her inside my mouth and his mind-blowing kiss, so perfect that I would lose myself for hours kissing him. The thoughts make my body hot and my mid-thighs throb.

"I'll take you upstairs, you'll sleep in a comfortable bed, and I won't let you say no." - Without waiting for my answers, he takes me in his arms.

“I won't say no. You just want to take care of me and I'm loving being taken care of for once in my life. I know it's just your protective instinct speaking there, but can I pretend it's because I'm special?

A strong wave of melancholy washes over me, his protective, caring way warms my heart and I suddenly want to cry, holding it in for as long as I can as Tyger moves with me to the stairs.

- You're. I can't hold back and cling to him, burying my face in his chest.

- Why are you crying? —stops abruptly at the bottom of the steps —Are you feeling pain in your wounds?

I don't even remember them.

- Is nothing.

"I won't rest until you tell me." - Sigh.

“Nobody ever cared about me and you taking care of me like that without knowing me makes me realize how much I miss being important to someone.

I can't hold back the tears anymore when Tyger hugs my body tightly to comfort me. Then he walks with me into a room placing me gently on the bed, pulls the blanket and covers me.

A roar of thunder makes me shiver, he notices and cups my face.

"Do you want me to stay until you fall asleep?"

- Please. - whisper.

In the blink of an eye he's behind me, he lifts my head to put his arm underneath, his other arm hugs my waist but doesn't touch enough to be the famous spoon.

"Can I hug you?" I don't like to smell fear on you. At least until it passes.

- Clear. — all night if you like. Or the rest of her.

- Thanks.

- No. I thank you.

Tyger's body is warmer than mine as he hugs me and I snuggle into his big body and I feel like this is where I really should be, it's a shame I have to leave soon, the thought brings me sadness and anguish.

It's been a long and stressful day, but I feel completely safe in his arms and I fall asleep quickly.