Beer with a friend

"Riya's point of view,"

"Riya, why are you here so late at night? Is everything okay?" As soon as I walked inside Ankur's flat, he began asking me a series of probing questions in a frightened tone of voice.

"Yes, I'm alright;you don't need to be so concerned," I responded, hoping to ease some of his anxiety.

"You don't have to lie to me; I don't judge you, so you can tell me whatever's on your mind." He was presumably aware of my perplexity.

"I met Harsh on my way back to my hotel after meeting you."

"What?" Even before I told him everything, he gazed at me with amazement.

"He is married and the father of a three-year-old child."

"What are you talking about?" The way he was staring at me in awe after hearing what I had to say, I was afraid he was going to pass out from shock.

"It means... ,"he pondered with his hand on his chin.

"It means Harsh got married right after I left, and he entirely forgot about me. How can he do this to me?" For a long time, I tried to hold back my tears, but it was becoming increasingly difficult for me to keep the anguish in my heart concealed inside me.

"Riya, I understand what you're going through right now, but you wanted him to move on with his life," Ankur said as he caressed my shoulder.

"But now that I've seen him with his family, I'm not so sure. I'm experiencing some unusual discomfort. I'm feeling suffocated."

"Did he say anything to you?" Ankur inquired, holding a glass of water towards me.

"Yes," I said as I drank a glass of water.

"Was he furious with you?" He inquired, his voice low.

"No, but he was speaking to me as if he didn't care about anything that had happened in the past." With a deep breath, I responded.

"Humm.., it's clear he's forgiven you and moved on with his life." After listening to him, I was astounded.

"How could he do this, and why would he forgive me so easily?"

"Because if a person doesn't have a significant impact on our lives, we don't even think about their mistakes."

"No, it can't be; I was very important in his life, and nothing else matters to him but me;" I know Ankur is correct. But my heart wasn't ready to believe that Harsh had forgotten about me that simply.

"There are many differences between the present and the past."

"Please, Ankur, don't say that I begged."

"Giving you fake happiness will not be my goal any longer. As I've said many times before, forget your past and begin a new chapter in your life. You're not listening me." In his voice, he expressed worry for me, but he was also upset with me for not listening to him.

"Why haven't you moved on in your life?" How can he ask me to forget Harsh? If it was so simple to forget, why is he still living his life through the memories of his wife?

"Harsh has already forgiven you and is happy in his life. As a result, start your life over. I did not receive forgiveness for my mistakes, and I am still living with the same guilt." After listening to him, there came a point in his speech where I nodded silently in agreement.

I glanced at him puzzled, and asked, "Ankur, don't you suffocate remembering your past?"

"I, too, feel suffocated by the questions that arise in my mind, and I fear they will kill me."

"So, what do you do in such a case?"

"In the night's silence, I let the noise of my mind find some peace." Ankur's words have always been poetic, but today I can see and feel the suffering he is trying to hide behind them.

"Will you help me regain my peace of mind?" Looking at him, I requested,

"Sure, why not? We've always been in the same boat." He stood up from the couch and walked to the kitchen. I was curious about what he had done inside the kitchen that night, so I followed him into the kitchen.

"Why are you here?"

"For your peace of mind arrangement?" He responded by reaching into the fridge and pulling out a bottle of beer and a cold drink.

"What do you mean?" I couldn't comprehend what he was saying.

As he walked out of his flat, he said, "Follow me."

I was taken aback by what he stated, but I followed him without interrogating him. I couldn't figure out where he was headed as he walked up the stairs. When we got to the top of the building, he showed me his hidden place, where he goes to relax.

From such a great height, everything was visible. Including the twinkling stars above our heads, the glare of the entire metropolis, and the fast-moving traffic on the highway. At such a high altitude, there was no noise or crowd.

"Come sit here, "he said, pointing to the bin bag placed high on one wall.

"Ankur, This location is quite relaxing."

"Have this," he added, pointing to the bottle of ice-cold beverage in my direction, before opening a can of beer and downing it himself.

I looked at him and asked, "Do you drink alcohol even though you are a doctor?"

"Yes, sometimes my guilt overwhelms all of my other feelings."

"You've been living in a place like America for four years and yet haven't learned to drink. I'm surprised that a modern-minded girl like you doesn't drink alcohol sometimes."After listening to him, it reminded me of the night in Shimla that had affected my life in so many ways.

When he saw me lost in thought, he inquired, "What happened?" and "In what thought did you sink?"

"Rachit also asked me the same question in Shimla that night, and I took his comments as a challenge and consumed all the liquor in the bottle.,"

"Relax, I wasn't trying to reopen old wounds; I was simply posing the question that had been raised in my head."

"Yes, I know, but I never dared think about drinking after that experience. It's hard to say which medicine I need right now to help me get some relief from the burning questions running through my head and allow me to find some quiet wherever I am."

"Give this a try." He replied, extending a can of beer towards me after listening to me.

I was hesitant to take the can from his grasp because it frightened me that my buried desires might bubble to the surface once more when I was intoxicated.

"You don't have to be afraid of me because I'm Ankur Vasishta, not Rachit Khurana;" perhaps he sensed the question that was arising in my head and answered it without even asking me.

After drinking beer, I felt quite relaxed. As I opened a new can of beer, the questions that had been bothering me faded away.

"You know how complicated I've made my life; everything was fine in my life until I desired adventure, and now I've had so much adventure that I can't take it." I laughed loudly as I put my hand on his shoulder.

"Yes, the same thing is occurring to you, as if a file that had stopped downloading at 99% suddenly downloaded 10 to 12 times more than it had previously." We were both giggling hysterically when we heard him.

"You know why I haven't visited this country in so long: I didn't want to confront my past. But it's just been 24 hours since I returned to India, and both my old hero and villain have reappeared in my life."

"Someone said that the more you run away from something, the closer it will come to you."