32

"Oh, I'm gonna miss you so bad." Mommy Andra said emotionally, then she hugged me tightly, which I reciprocated.

"We'll visit you again, Mommy." How could she be so emotional? We will not be lost forever.

"That's enough, Mom. We'll be back too, it's just a three months vacation." Aius is now hauling the belongings we are going to take.

"Even so. I'm still gonna miss you both. Why is it only one week here, eh." Mommy Andra said, "I was just laughing to one side."

After a few minutes of saying goodbye we decided to get in Aius' car to leave.

It has been one week since our first dinner with Aius family. And I must say that during that week I was very happy. It was the best week of my life. I got to feel the feeling of having a family. Every day I was at Aius’s family home there was not a moment that I was sad. There isn’t a day that we don’t bond with Mommy Andra, and I am very thankful for those moments. I got to feel the love of a mother that I always wish.

Add to that the many blessings that also came to me that week. First there was the hiring of me by a big company as a model of their product, which is a beauty products. I also got a model in a clothing line, they said that all the clothes I would wear were suitable for me.

Direct also informed me of the rapid rise of my name in the industry. Many offer me a project according to Manager Rubbie. But sadly, I can't accept any of them. I focus more on modeling.

And of course the biggest blessing that came to me was the news, we had already found Dad’s heart donor, what we just didn’t know was when the heart transplant would be performed. The nurse who was with me said that they would just let me know. If you're wondering, why the nurse told me, well you know that. I am not in good terms with Mama. But I still greet him. The only case is that he doesn't reply to me which is okay with me. What matters is that I make them feel the concern and love I have for them.

"I want a grandchild, after your vacation!" Mommy Andra's chasing cry. My face turned red, especially when the other members of Aius's family agreed with what Mommy Andra said.

But on the other side. My heart is beating so wildly in my chest. I'm scared, what if they find out—?

"Baby, let's go." Aius who was next to me who then helped me into the car. I also lost what was on my mind before.

"This is the best week of my life. Thank you, baby." I said softly, Aius, we are already on the plane.

Aius immediately took my hand and then smiled at me kindly. He also gently stroked my cheek. "Anything for my baby's happiness." after he said that he immediately kissed me on the forehead and then guided my head to apply to his shoulder.

"Sorry." I said as I rested my head on his shoulder.

"For what?"

"For judging your family. For comparing your family to Jared's family." I said. My eyes were just focused on our hands holding hands. He was playing with my fingers.

"It's okay. That's just normal. What's important now is that you prove it wrong and you didn't feel any rejections." he said then then he covered me with a blanket.

"It's cold inside. Let's just sleep." after he said that he tied me on the shoulder.

I closed my eyes, but I could not sleep. I dont want to. I just want to think a lot of thoughts.

I could already hear Aius's deep and heavy breathing so I knew he was asleep.

I looked up at him. And there I saw him, close eyes and his lips are slightly parted. I smiled.

He's always been my best view, ever since I broke up with Jared. I don't even know if I was just flirting or what, eh. Because the speed I fell for him. The speed I agreed when he said he wanted to court me. I knew nothing of all the hasty decisions I had made before.

Maybe, some people think that I am jusg using Aius for me to cope up with my break-up. Is your rebound when called. The others, maybe I think that I really like Aius since Jared and I were together, and somehow I also think that maybe that's the case. I may have just fallen in love with him, but I just didn't pay attention because I was so blinded by my love for Jared, which was already etched in my mind.

And I don’t know if it’s right for me to think about it now. But every time I compare the love I have for Aius and Jared — back then, I wonder if I really loved Jared or was I just thinking about it?

Do you know that? The guy in your mind is stamped that you love him. Your mind tells you that you love him and that you are sure of him. He is the one you want to be with forever. But your heart says nothing. There are no strong pulses when your eyes meet, you type without a spark. No thrilling moments.

For Aius, it is not only my mind that loves, but also my heart. I kind of know and I really feel that my heart is beating for Aius. Every time our eyes hit, my heart would immediately disappear. Every time he does something small, I will be thrilled. The fact that he held my hand made me tremble too much.

And another. If it was then I would keep telling myself that Jared was the one I wanted to be with in building a family that sometimes seemed like I was still pushing myself. Now not anymore. I feel like Aius is really the one I want to be with. I can feature myself carrying my baby with Aius on my back, hugging me from behind while smiling from ear to ear.

I smiled at that thought. Then I then stroked the cheek of the sleeping Aius. While uttering a prayer in my mind.

I hope ... I really hope you are, Aius. Hopefully this time I won't get hurt. I hope this time you have a long time. Hopefully we will be there until the end. I really love you. More than anything and anyone. I can give up everything I have just to please you and to keep you.

Even though there are many better things to match you. You and you are still my choice. Because for me, there is no one like you.

But I remember. It is inevitable to be hurt when we love, but I hope that when we get to the point where we are hurting, when the trial comes, I hope we both fight. Hopefully no one will give up, no one will give up.

I smiled. But even though I’m happy now I have a little bit of pain and fear in my heart that I feel. And I don’t know where that comes from. I do not know. But I still remember the scene between Alexander and me until now. He looks and smiles as if he wants to convey something.

I just sighed and then I just forced myself to remove whatever was bothering my mind.

I moved slightly in my seat, and with that movement Aius tightened his grip on me. He thought maybe I was getting cold.

I smiled because the thrill I was feeling was easy again. Then I hugged him too and let myself fall asleep while in his arms.

This is comforting. I love it.

To be continued...