34
He opened my pants, curiously watching my reaction in the mirror and I couldn't control my breathing at all because of the tension that was in the room. My knees went weak, my heart pounded with excitement, and my eyes locked on his, non-stop. He was by far the first person I ever felt so connected to, even though I knew very little about him.
Very carefully, he pulled my pants down and I stiffly lifted my feet for him to undress me while I looked at myself in the mirror, unsure of what was about to happen.
Not a minute later I was only standing there in my underwear and unexpectedly panicked, because although I wanted nothing more than to be touched by him, it was still happening way too fast for me. My mind and body seemed disconnected as once again I was being torn between my desires and my thoughts.
"Here," I then heard Kiyan, who was now standing next to me and suddenly handed me one of my pajama pants before leaving my room with a look at me.
I stood there irritated, stared after him in disbelief and held my blue pajama bottoms in my hand, which I then eyed skeptically. Apparently it was all right for me to be torn, as his intentions and actions kept changing so turboletly it was dizzying.
Completely confused by his behavior, I pulled on the baggy pants and took a closer look at myself in the mirror. My eyes were already red from fatigue and the circles under them looked dark...
"Put that on," Kiyan came back, then grabbed my full attention again and locked the door behind him. I immediately noticed a black shirt in his hand and when I looked closer I saw the same star printed on it that he had tattooed on his hand.
I took it hesitantly and he watched me put it on. I thought about the meaning of this star. Should I ask him? Or would you rather wait until he would tell you?
Fully dressed, I felt his eyes all over my body and shyly stroked my arm while nervously chewing on my lower lip. The thought of Chloe still annoyed me and the excitement I had just felt was gone, because the less the alcohol was still working in my blood, the more worries and doubts spread through me and I became a shy one again Girl getting lost in this boy's eyes.
"My mom gave this shirt to my dad when she knew she was pregnant with me."
I caught his eye curiously and then looked again at the star on the shirt that lay loosely around my torso.
"I was her little star," he then smiled, looking down at his hand. "When I met Zayn and he said we had to get tattoos to be cool, I decided to tattoo that memory first."
He spoke calmly and smiled the whole time, but the pain in his voice was hard to miss and when he looked deep into my eyes again, I saw the lonely emptiness in his, which immediately made me want to hug him tightly to want, which I did.
I took slow steps towards him, then took his hand and gently stroked the star on the back of his hand. "That's a really nice memory," I said softly, looking up at him.
He gripped my hand tighter, wrapped the other around my shoulder and pulled me tightly to his strong chest, standing with me like that for a little while. His head resting on my shoulder, our hands clasped tightly, and it was so quiet around us that I thought I could hear his heartbeat.
"We should go to sleep," he then broke away from me and turned to my bed to pull the covers down so I could lie down comfortably. I was once again super excited to sleep in the same bed with him, even though we'd gone further than just sleeping before. It was still new to me, but I felt incredibly comfortable. Just because he gave me this shirt, which meant so much to him. That meant something, didn't it?
He lay down close to my back, covered us both carefully and although I would have liked to enjoy his warmth for as long as possible, I fell asleep faster than I would have liked from sheer exhaustion under his caresses on my arm.
A pounding headache woke me up from my sleep and I was immediately so thirsty that I felt like I was dehydrated inside.
I rolled onto my back with an effort, only to be disappointed to find that he was no longer beside me.
Was it all just a dream?
A look down at me and I knew that it wasn't my imagination, because I immediately saw the glittering star on the black shirt and had to smile briefly despite the hangover.
Then, with one hand on my throbbing head, I slowly got out of my bed and got up unsteadily, at the same time telling myself never to drink again.
One step at a time, I ran to my door and pulled it open, only to be instantly blinded by the brightness in the hallway.
"Oh god," I murmured, continuing my way to the kitchen while feeling like I didn't exist anymore. Everything hurt terribly and when I could finally spot a bottle of water on the counter, I grabbed it and drank it so fast I choked several more times.
"Hangover?" Thomas scared me to death behind me and I jumped so hard that the bottle almost fell out of my hand. He was apparently amused because he was leaning against the fridge in his red shirt and grinning me up and down.
I hated his looks at me, which felt fake and gross, but apparently I really needed to get used to his presence.
"You can see it, right?" I snapped back at him, whereupon he laughed and took a few steps towards me.
The closer he came, the more I backed away from him in fear, until unfortunately I felt the counter behind me and could no longer avoid it.
My heart was racing and I felt so uncomfortable I wanted to throw up, but my body didn't respond except to tremble slightly.
He was standing right in front of me, leaning one hand on the counter behind me so I could feel his breath on my face and his pelvis was dangerously and unnaturally close to mine. His eyes drifted upwards and with his other hand he then opened the closet above me to take something out and take a step back.
"You'll feel better with that," he grinned dirty and held out a pack of ibuprofen to me. I couldn't accept it because I felt frozen. That wasn't a normal situation, or am I exaggerating again?
Out of sheer hope that he would disappear, I took the pack with great difficulty and looked down immediately, overwhelmed, only to hear his slowly receding footsteps.
What was that for a shit action?












