36

"While I have to admit that I'm genuinely flattered, I certainly don't want to be a means to an end," I heard Zayn whisper softly in my ear while Kiyan's eyes swept me up angrily.

What was I actually hoping for out of this childish provocation? Nothing at all. I didn't feel better at all, actually worse. Annoyed with myself, I then slid off Zayn's lap and crouched down between him and Adam.

I wasn't Chloe, I wasn't tough enough for that and somehow I didn't want to be like her. I'd rather just keep being Mia, the boring nut who likes to escape and didn't seem to know anything about relationships at all.

"What's going on with you guys?" Zayn then asked, leaning forward while Kiyan made himself comfortable on the red armchair across from us.

Nobody answered him.

Kiyan just stared into space and I then did the same as Adam, who just watched what was happening on TV with great excitement and kept laughing quietly to himself. Was he high again?

"She's jealous," Kiyan said, whose eyes immediately met mine and I blushed at his honest words. Why did he talk about my feelings in front of the two?

"For what?" Zayn asked curiously while unscrewing the Jägermeister, which he handed me without a word. I didn't even think about drinking again and just excitedly held him because it bothered me that they were so open about everything.

"To Chloe," Kiyan answered him and then turned to the TV as well.

"Understandable," Zayn nodded and I immediately looked over at him in surprise. I was so glad that at least one seemed to understand me and I finally felt my mixed feelings were justified.

"What do you mean by understandable? I didn't do anything," Kiyan said, slightly irritated and it seemed to me that Adam and I were completely ignored by them.

"You were already completely freaked out when she wanted to see Micah that day. You cried all over my ear and not too little," Zayn said calmly, but also with an amusement in his otherwise emotionless voice. I looked at Kiyan with a smile and it felt incredibly good to know that he, too, reacted jealously to such trivial things. That showed me that I wasn't a pushy lunatic after all.

"Can you shut your cheeky mouth for once," Kiyan then said to Zayn, rolling his eyes until he looked at me and I could see his cheeks turning red for the first time. I liked that even better than his dimples. Finally an emotion that was only meant for me.

"No, I can't. You guys are really getting on my nerves. Even Adam gets hit while spinning the bottle, then I have to walk through a fucking forest and now that I just want to eat pizza and have a drink, I'm suddenly in the middle in kindergarten."

He fell backwards with a snort and took the bottle from me again to take a big gulp of it. I felt sorry for the brown-haired guy, but somehow I just had to grin to myself at his way of describing everything, and when my eyes met Kiyan's, he smiled too and directed me with his eyes, on his lap to take a seat.

I was still angry at the words he had thrown at me in the room, but I got up anyway and walked over to him to sit on his lap with a tingling in my stomach.

The good feelings towards him once again faded out everything bad and finally I understood the rose-colored glasses that you probably had on when you were newly in love.

No matter what he said before, now sitting crosswise on his lap and caught in the brown of his eyes, everything was blown away again.

His arms wrapped around my waist like they were made just to hold me to his body. It was an intoxicating feeling to be so close to him, even though Chloe was still spinning in my head.

But I decided to let it be for today. His friends were here and Zayn at least gave me the certainty that Kiyan was jealous too. That was enough for me for now, because I needed more confirmation today.

Just glad we broke the argument, I let my head fall onto his shoulder and then closed my eyes to inhale deeply through my nose in pleasure.

That smell, it made my knees weak and when he then leaned back in the armchair, it almost felt like I was lying on the most comfortable bed in the world.

His breathing was calm and his heart was beating so tactfully that it became for me the most beautiful melody that could be heard.

As quickly as the argument and jealousy came over me, they went away, but I was sure of one thing. I wanted to be with him. I wanted him to call me his girlfriend and I vowed to get to know him and his intentions better without letting Chloe distract me.

It must have been two hours that I lay half on top of him and he always stroked my leg in the same rhythm.

I didn't notice the other two at all. I glanced over at them from time to time, but they were just busy laughing at that stupid TV show anyway.

At some point I heard a soft snoring and only then did I realize that it was already dark outside and Zayn seemed to have fallen asleep.

Adam was still sitting there like he had been for the last few hours and if you hadn't known that he was smoking weed you could have assumed he was dead.

"Come on, let's go over there," Kiyan suddenly breathed into my ear with an excitement in his voice that made a heat rush through my body and my heart started racing before I even got up.

The first night without parents in the house...

Oh my fucking god....

He pulled me into my room by my hand and before I could calm down, he had already closed the door and stood so close in front of me that no sheet of paper would have fit between us.

I looked up into his eyes, nervous and completely under his spell, but then I was irritated by the amusement I could clearly see on his face. The dimples were slowly forming, almost like he was trying to stifle a laugh, and I didn't understand what was supposed to be so funny at this weak-kneed moment.

"What did you actually want to achieve with your action on Zayn's lap?" he then asked with a smile and jerked me closer to him. Our hips snuggled together as if they were made for each other, and with his arms around my waist and tightening his grip, I had no chance of escaping him...I didn't mean to.

"Just checking to see if he's more comfortable," I wanted to be funny, but his grin faded and he grabbed my chin to lift my face up like he always did.

"And?" he then asked, his eyes darting across my face as if trying to absorb every emotion.

"Absolutely uncomfortable," I breathed, because once again he had managed to change my mood and feelings in just a few seconds. My heart fluttered wildly from his gaze and every time his hand moved on my waist, butterflies flew in my stomach.

"I'm sorry," he said and immediately started to turn my head to the side. "I don't want you to do things like that in response to my behavior."

As he whispered the words against my goose bumps covered skin, he kissed gently down my neck again and again. I didn't care what happened before. Only his closeness counted and as if it were the most normal thing in the world, I searched my way under his t-shirt with my hands, which were shaking with excitement, in order to lay them resting on his muscular chest.

He flinched a little, probably because my hands were always freezing, but then he continued kissing down my cheek, glancing fleetingly but intensely into my eyes and laying his lips on mine.

I closed my eyes, feeling his rapid heartbeat under my hands, and then opened my mouth slightly, allowing his tongue to play with mine.

It was magical, even though we had kissed before, because every touch, every kiss and every heartbeat from him was like a dream for me.

My body was trembling, my heart was dancing and I got so hot that my hands started to sweat a little.

"Get undressed," he suddenly broke away from me and just the way he asked me to do it made my cheeks all hot. I watched him take off his shirt with a fast breath and explored again each of his tattoos, every muscle and again the scar on his side.

I wanted to know where he got it from and in that moment I realized that I wanted to know everything about him but knew next to nothing. The whirlpool of my thoughts made me doubt myself for a moment, but when his eyes met mine and he ran his fingers through his black hair to examine me curiously, I suppressed my fear and took off his t-shirt, the one on my body lay to place it carefully on my desk chair.

He looked at my breasts and my white bra, I didn't miss that, but it didn't bother me at all, on the contrary. It even aroused me in a way I couldn't explain.

The way he stood there, without expression, looking at my curves and yet there was this slight sparkle in the otherwise cold brown. Now I realized what my mother had meant when he said he was staring at me dangerously. He kind of really did, but it made me feel even more comfortable in my own skin and with him.

Without saying anything, he took my hand, ran with me to my closet and put me in front of my mirror, then turned on the small light on my desk and the big one went out.

"Do you remember where I said I've never seen anything hotter?" he breathed into my ear from behind and then distributed gentle kisses on my shoulders. The tingling that came from his voice almost completely robbed me of my mind and I could only nod at him looking in the mirror.

"Want to see what I meant?"

I nodded again, completely lost in his effect on me. I didn't understand what he meant, but I didn't want what was happening here to stop.

He stood in front of me, looked down at me and gave me a gentle kiss on my addicted lips before he suddenly knelt down in front of me and slowly started to pull down my leggings and underwear.

"I just want you to look in the mirror, little one," he said assertively, wrapping his hands around my butt so I took a deep breath and faced myself as he asked.

My breathing quickened as he then began kissing the bare skin of my thighs and as he continued to rise my whole body began to tremble slightly until he reached my midsection and a soft moan escaped my mouth.

In that moment, I realized what he wanted to show me. I saw my sparkling eyes, my slightly open mouth and again and again my face flashed with excitement. The blush on my cheeks took on a whole new color and as he stirred waves of arousal down there with his tongue, I watched myself breathe faster and faster, unable to control my moans.

I grabbed his hair and let him carry me closer to my orgasm, knowing that this would only be the beginning of my experience with him.