Solemn teardrop

Liliana's pov :

His silence was killing me, my heart started beating like it was running in a marathon. My hands automatically fell from his face when I couldn't decipher the look of his eyes. Why wasn't he saying something? I needed his words to calm my pounding heart down.

I needed to be strong, I couldn't cry again and again like a cry baby so my mind fought with the tears and my heart, my heart was feeling scared of losing him. I didn't want to lose him, and the way he was staring at me with silence, it made me feel like I had already lost him.

"You don't love me, right?" I asked again and hoped that he would kiss me in response to my question. At least, he would hug me and assure me that he loved me.

But it seemed like a false hope when he didn't make any move to open his mouth for saying a word or kissing me. "Why are you quiet? Say something!" I poked at his chest.

My eyes still wanted to hold the hope of getting everything like before, I was crazy for him. This boy could make me crazy.

"Can I ask you something?" His brows raised a little and his jaw clenched.

Jesus! He finally spoke but didn't answer my question, he returned the question to me. All I wanted to hear were the three pure words in his sweet voice but look, what I got? The question!

I didn't say anything, I just nodded and he came closer to me, "why didn't you tell me that he was your brother?" He held my hands and expected an honest answer from me.

My subconscious mind was telling me to say everything honestly because silence had almost killed my beautiful relationship with him, it wasn't completely my fault either. If I would have told him that time, then things wouldn't have gone that far.

"Please, tell me honestly what you were thinking at that time when I hurt you?!" He pleaded with his guilty eyes and I stopped thinking about what I should do!

If that's what he wanted, I will tell him everything on the square. "The first thing that came into my mind was that you don't trust me at all. If you would have trusted me, you wouldn't have reacted like that. I was just hugging my brother, you didn't find your girlfriend kissing a man, right? But you were acting as if you found me in an embarrassing situation and everything was clear to you that I cheated on you." I closed my eyes to control the anger, his words echoed in my mind and I felt so gross.

"How could you judge me that way? I have always been honest and real with you, our relationship was different, nothing was hidden or secret between us. If I would love any other guy, why would I be with you? I told you that you are the first person whom I liked since I came into existence but still, you forgot all my words and misunderstood me." I just kept telling him everything that came into my mind at that time without thinking for once.

He stroked my hand with his thumb and didn't release the hold on my hands.

"To be honest, I was hating myself for loving a person like you. I never expected those ridiculous words from you, the way you were smirking and accusing me of cheating on you broke my heart into pieces. I regretted the moment when I kissed you and started dating you, I cursed myself for loving you."

He quickly replied, "but you never told me that you love me." A small smile twitched his lips.

"Because I was not able to share my feelings. You know it's not easy for me to tell you everything, I had no friends and I'm so different. I'm not like other girls who have watched rom-com movies and have read plenty of romance novels. Neither did I have a lot of friends so I could get to know how people act when they fall in love! I never thought of falling in love, my world was different, the syllabus books were the only books I read and being a doctor was my only purpose in life."

I sighed in relaxation, I was holding too much inside me but I felt relieved while telling him the truth. "I've lived my life alone, there was no one to give me company when I wanted to share something so I just grew up like this, handling everything by myself and holding everything inside my mind and heart." My mind lost the battle and a solemn teardrop fell from my eyes.

The fucking tears couldn't resist it, they wanted me to feel weak when I needed to be strong. I hated crying in front of anyone, I preferred crying alone more. That's why I sat on that bench and let all the sadness flow beneath the tears!

He instantly wiped it off and kissed my eyes one by one before opening his mouth, "thank you for letting me be in your life! I promise you that I'll never make you feel alone until I die." He again held my hand, "please, continue! I want to listen to every single word from you that you were keeping to yourself only."

His words gave me more strength to fight back with the flood of my eyes but all I needed was a kiss or I LOVE YOU from him. I was feeling a little mad at him for not kissing me.

I continued further, "when I got Fiona, I felt so good and happy to have a friend like her. She never makes me feel alone, she was with me every time whenever I needed a friend. And I'm sure that she'll be tensed for me when she'll find out what happened in the garden. She is a selfless girl and being with her makes me feel happy. I still wonder, what would have happened if she wouldn't be there to encourage me and support me, she was the one who told me that I was in love because I didn't realise that I was in love."

"For me, love was an unfounded treasure. Fiona helped me a lot when I was confused with my feelings for you. The day when Theo manipulated us to confess our feelings, I felt like if it's not now, maybe it'll be never! I was the girl who initiated the first kiss, you can't even imagine how insecure and shy girls feel when they start the kiss but I...I just thought about you and kissed you." The blush spread all over my face when the memory of our first kiss flashed through my mind.

"I was feeling so grateful to have you in my life. I even went to the church today and showed my gratitude to God!"

He looked at me with a teasing gaze and pouted, "and what did you pray for?"

I lowered my head to hide my blushing face. He could flirt with me anytime, anywhere, no matter what! "I'm not gonna tell you that." I grinned and peeked at him.

"But I want to know, please!" He asked me with his naif eyes.

Well, that worked for me!

His innocent face makes me do anything he wants me to do.

"I prayed for us, to have a happily ever after just like the novels have a happy ending for a couple! And for…" before I could tell him further that I prayed for my dream, his hands were circled on my waist and my head was shoved to his chest.

"Thank you so much, Lia! I can't tell you how happy I'm to have you as my girlfriend," his fingers tangled with my hair. "I can tell the world that I've got the love of my life and I'm the luckiest man on the earth." He shouted like a maniac and held my chin up.

I shushed him, "we are on the road."

"Since when did we start caring about the world?" He chuckled and so did I. He captured my lips into a reassurance kiss, he didn't know that I was waiting for that kiss for so long. I kissed him back as if there was no tomorrow and it was the first and last thing I wanted to do today.

I wanted this kiss to last longer but he soon parted his lips away from me and I was missing his lips on me.

"But you still didn't tell me why were you silent at that time? Why didn't you tell me that he was Ben?"

"I was feeling devastated, and I thought if you have doubted me, it means you never knew me, you never loved me and I never give an explanation to anyone. I don't care what people think of me but it was different for you. When you accused me of being a cheater, I felt like you never trusted me and if you can't believe me, I can't make you believe anything.

"You know, your eyes were clearly telling me what you were thinking that time so I got it and remained silent."

He kissed my forehead. "I'm so sorry for being an asshole to you! I could behave better but the anger overtook my heart and mind, I was blinded by the anger. Still, I accept that being angry shouldn't be an excuse for that behaviour. I made a mistake but...um, can you...give me a second chance?" His eyes fluttered with perplexion. He was so nervous as if his life was dependent on my answer.