Chapter 1 MELANIE GOES TO CALIFORNIA

Melanie is the name, Yes! That is my name, Melanie woods, a young, middle-aged woman who had it tough while growing up and had it rough while finding love. I have had it in the pasty with love, and I am done with that part of me. I am going to California to start a new life, but I will give no man a chance. I want to make money and take care of my loved ones. Hopefully, I get a good job that would make me comfortable. I don't want to have any form of attachment with anyone, be it male or female, yes female intimacy exists, and we all know this. I just want to concentrate on my work, and I hope I get a good job and a good apartment and live a peaceful life when I get to California. I just want to relocate from home. I guess I am taking the advice my friend gave me. If you want to get over this constant heartbreak and trust breaks from me, take a break and change your environment. And a change of environment is what I am embracing, hence the reason for relocating to California.

I have had a series of heartbreaks in the past. Because I am an emotional lady, it made the heartbreak very worse; whenever I fall in love, I give it my all, which includes my body, soul, and mind, love hasn't been all rosy on me. I already decided to relocate to start a new life because I want to get over my past and move on; getting Myself into a new location, as advised by my friends, is a good healing process. The only option I have got on the table I decide to change my location. Maybe just maybe I will find everything I ever wanted, everything except love; I was done with love, sex, and romance. My body count cannot keep increasing without anything good to show for it. How when love happens again? Maybe it will be the next life if there is anything like coming to this world again. But as for now and in this present world and lifetime. I quit!

I have dated quite a few men, ranging from both blacks to whites to even Asians. And how do all their love stories all start? It all starts with them showing interest in me; then, I would end up turning them down? They would thus end not giving up, chasing me here and there asking for a date, and after the first date, I give them what they want, a chance for them to prove themselves in my life, at least that is what they all say. And after I give them a chance they have all been asking for? We begin to have sex, and they all commend me how good I am, how sweet I am, how awesome I am. They all commend me on how firm my breasts are, and how they all enjoy spending the most of their time with me, but at the end, that is all the goodies entailed in the relationship; after this phase,

then the relationship enters the phase where it would be me now begging for attention, whereas it was them few months ago, but the reverse would be the case as they would change completely, I would call, beg and yearn for their attention and love, but in the end, I can see the handwriting clearly written on the wall. They are no longer interested, and they just all turn me into a sex machine that they would only call anytime they go horny and need someone to relieve them, but at this stage, I already would have put my emotions and heart into everything, and it would be quite difficult for me to just forget everything we have had and everything we have shared. I ended up giving them lots of second chances to prove themselves, and in the end, they all end up failing. Heartbreak is not something people should be experiencing over and over again, it is an unfortunate phase on someone's life, and also a very dark phase, the healing proves has not been easy, but in the end, nature ends up balancing everything at long last, you begin to heal up slowly, and you begin to forget the man who had broken your heart, you begin to move on until another man comes your way, and for me, it was more like repeating the same phase over and over and over again, going round in circles. For me, it was more like I was getting used to heartbreaks already, and it was affecting me psychologically and also physically. I began to wonder if there was anything wrong with me being a woman.

There was a day I stood in front of my mirror naked, and I began to stare at myself. Why would men, for God's sake, not want to have this magnificent body to themselves for the rest of their lives? They should fight for it, they should fight for me, they should treat me like a queen that I am, or a queen that I imagined that I am. But instead, they run after the magnificent body, and after having it for a few months, they back down and decide to let go, which is really hurting for an emotional woman like myself, and I find it no longer amusing and I decided to put a stop to everything going on in my love life. Enough is enough! I no longer am available for love; neither am I ready for any form of a romantic relationship. Although I tried no strings attached relationship once, I ended up catching feelings, and I ended up loving the young man, but in the end, it all ended, and it took me back to square one. Now I have decided to take my friend's advice and relocate, change my location, look for a good job, have fun, try new things, but above all, have nothing to do with love, sex nor romance anymore