Neither forgive or forget

When I woke up I stared right into her eyes. It was a beautiful way to start my day unless my mate is disloyal to me. The thought brought a bitter taste to my mouth. I coughed a few times. "Hey take it easy you were shot. Here you can have these pain killers. She raised her hands towards me". I pushed it away. It won't work unless you have what it takes to doze a 100 pounds wolf. Being drowsy was the last thing I wanted so I could deal with the pain. "Here take two if you want. I don't have anything else to give you ", she said. "You want to make me unconscious and have your way with me", I smirked at her.

She rolled her eyes and said, "Don't flatter yourself, you have been lying there like a log for two days ". I immediately shot up but searing pain forced me back. "Hey relax, I have only been kidding. Why are you bothered? Is there someone worried about you? ", she asked. "Are you asking me if I'm  single or not? If so, let me make it clear. I'm not married yet", I said. I should have told her about Annabeth but I couldn't. It wasn't a lie, I only hid the engagement part. "I don't care about anything at all I just wanted to ask you if you want me to inform anyone. "Nah it would be fine without me. There could be an uprising among the pack if so I will manage it later ". "I don't understand, are you really saying that you belong to a wolf tribe? But that is impossible, what are you mowgli? ", she asked.

"Ha ha no sweetheart I'm a werewolf or shapeshifter. But call me Aidan I prefer my name. I'm Alpha of Northern tribe. Do you need any more information? ". "No I'm done. I think you should call your people and assure them you are ok. Also you can ask them to take you home so you can heal well", she said. "I'm healing fine sweetheart. I told you if I leave here I have to make sure I'm able to fight because of the uprising ", I said.  The  uprising part was a lie. My pack wasn't barbaric enough to cause an uprising when I'm not there. In my pack everyone loved and supported me. But every other pack Alphas constantly worried about uprising and beat up anyone who would dare stand against them. "But you told me you will leave as soon as possible ", her words inaudible.

"I changed my mind. I'm going to stay here and investigate if you are as innocent as you claim to be. There are chances you will call back my attackers while I'm limping to my home". Pure disbelief was visible on her face then anger. She threw a pillow at my face and I caught it laughingly. "I don't care if you live or die but I have to go to my job", she said. "I don't recommend that sweetheart you better call in sick today ", I said. She growled at me, reminding me of a cat and left for her room. I saw her phone nearby and I held it up. She didn't have a password which surprised me and checked her calls there was nothing suspicious. I know my pack will be worried and I planned on leaving here but at night without telling her. So I can leave here without any more mishaps. Her heartbeat was steady while she said she had no clue about the shooting but again seasoned liars were able defeat perfect score lie detectors.

I haven't planned anything so far. I want to make sure I'm alive long enough to plan something. I listened to her inside the room. There was rustling of clothes and turning of water. Just what I needed was being aroused by my mate nonetheless. "Hey could you speed up your bath if you don't want any company. I'm not in my right mind, my judgement is clouded by painkillers you gave", I said playfully. "Pervert ", was the only response I got from her.  Since she was in the bathroom it was safe for me to take another nap or so I believed. I know I was taking too many risks but I have to heal if I have to survive. So sleeping was the only way.

I slowly opened my eyes to the sound of an annoying juicer. It made my headache worse.  I knew I wasn't in my home because we never used any sort of technology. Even my mother never used any technology because she feared it would attack her too much. Sci fi movie addiction will do that to you. I slowly opened my eyes to see my mate operating a disastrous machine old enough to be her father. "What the fuck are you doing "?, I growled at her. "I'm making us breakfast you thankless creature ", she shouted. I hid my mirth and asked, "You call juice breakfast and what sort of thing are you using?  You want to poison me with the help of that rusty machine ". She threw her hands in the air giving me a good view of her beautiful breasts. They took me to a lala land which caused a new problem which was spot on.

Now that I have rested enough my one part has decided to spring into action. "Can you give me a bit of privacy? I need to use the washroom and have to take care of something ", I told her. "Wait I will help you to go to the washroom", she was immediately at my side removing the blanket that had been covered and suddenly she realized what my real problem was. She jumped back as if I bit her. " I helped you and now you are going to rape me ", her eyes looked fearful for a second. "Babe I'm sure you have heard about morning wood. We men are helpless. I have always respected women and I believe in consent ", I thought about my mom and her class on consent though embarrassing at the time it was quite handy to me now. She too looked a bit embarrassed. I wanted to kiss her now instead of giving into my emotions I dragged myself to the bathroom.

When I came back she had already set the table which made me happy after all my mate cared for me. But when I looked at the menu I wasn't feeling excited anymore. "Hey! What's this? Where's my meat"? , I asked. "Oh I thought you only behaved like an animal. I didn't know you ate like one too.  But I would like to inform you I'm a vegan ", she said smugly. I couldn't help but laugh. I remember her trying to be a vegetarian once but failing miserably. She loved animals. I wished she loved me half as much.

"Why are you laughing?  What's so funny about it? ", she asked a bit angrily. "Since when have you turned vegan. You fucking loved eating meat every day", I said. "I have turned vegan for more than a year. Don't you fucking assume things about me. You don't know me and you are never going to", she said. I should have left our conversation at that but I said , "I would like to know you. I want to be your friend ". The friend part was a lie. I wanted to get to know her but never as a friend but a lover but I couldn't say that to her. She went quiet for a second and answered "ok". It made me feel elated. I knew there was no future for our friendship. We were mates and I'm engaged to Annabeth. Just as I wanted it to be. So fate won't engage us in another play. I needed some answers, maybe I could seduce it out of her. She remembers a little bit about me, my name for one. She said it was like an old movie in which you could only remember some parts, not full, just good ones with the rebirths happening again and again. She could remember little by little each time. I believed her stories almost but not this time.

Why she chose to betray me was the question I wanted to ask her. Everyone believes the first time she died was due to mysterious circumstances but in reality she was killed by her lover. Who I didn't know till today ? The past lives were not in her memories but for me it was just yesterday. I had lost her all three times. Why was this happening again to us? It was clear she wasn't in love with me. The second life was the worst of all. My mate tried to kill me. I didn't know why she tried to do that. She refused to answer. I was feeling so angry and betrayed that I had  ordered her to be put in jail. I couldn't kill her even then no matter what she had done. But when I came back to her she was killed. I only blame fate for putting us in this path, forcing her to betray me each time. My only regret is that last time when  she did it my pack had lost many. Even if I forgive her I could guarantee that no one else will. I only chose to forgive and never forget.

My mind was only half there that may be why I had managed to eat it. She was a shitty cook, some things never changed. "So when are you leaving ", she asked. "When I feel better ", I answered readily. "And when is that "? she pressed for information. "Today, tomorrow or even a week later I don't really know ", I said. Her eyes threw daggers at me.  "I have to go to work", she said. I smiled at her knowingly. "You want money ", I asked her. "No I want you gone so I can get back to my life ", she said. I sat back on the chair. "You have to adjust a few more days sweetheart", I said to her. She stood up and walked away. She stood before the window and asked, " My dreams are real, aren't they? I knew you from before. What was our relationship "? I answered carefully if she was really claiming to be innocent, not knowing who I was. My wolf was pressuring me to believe her but I won't give in this time like I did before. " I was your mate, friend, lover whatever you want me to be", I said. I used was because I'm not anymore those things. From this time onwards I will play the game just as she did before. This time I would be the one who betrays not her.

I slowly walked towards her, brought my arms on either side of her hands and drew her towards me. I whispered her name. I heard her catching breath. I turned her to face me as she was looking down. I put my fingertips on her chin and raised it. I eagerly put my lips over hers. Her response was not disappointing; she kissed me back with equal ardor. I lined my tongue over her lips. She moaned and with a cry she pushed me but failed to do so because I was strong. She wasn't used to that. I respected her desire for space and moved away. She ran towards her room and slammed her room shut. I knew I had succeeded in seducing her. I wanted to rejoice but I couldn't. I sat on the couch but I could hear her crying. It was making me equally angry at herself and me. I didn't know  how far I could go pretending before even if she did it successfully I couldn't do that.  I wanted to ignore her cries but I couldn't. I wished my powers would evaporate for a second so I could take a break from the pain. The pain I was causing her was the same I was causing me. But I won't be weak, failing this time would be worse than last. If I failed my pack again I don't think a single member would survive.