Part 35

Mia called a cab. She couldn't drive back anymore, suddenly feeling numb all over. The assistant couldn't believe this was happening to her. And all that within a day of getting back from Los Angeles. What about all those promises Damon made to her? Did they mean nothing?

Her voice modulated from tears during the call; thankfully, nobody on the other end said anything. When it arrived, she hurriedly slid into the backseat and nodded to the driver. When the car started, the assistant broke down in tears and started crying. Silent, heavy tears weighed down by the incident she noticed just ten minutes before.

It was done. She let Damon go. She'd never have him again.

But now, Damon could get his old schedule back and be successful without Mia holding him down. He could prosper and hang out with Lily without Mia's clinginess, and he could maybe even one day find a perfect fit in his new world better than Mia ever could. After all, Lily and he were a cute couple; the world thought so. The media and all those gossip rags did, so it wouldn't be late till Damon realised that Lilys the one for him.

The thought made her cry harder.

When she got back home, Mia collapsed on the bed and sobbed harder when she inhaled traces of his scent in the sheets. How could he do this to her? She trusted him when he told her that nothing was going on between him and Lily. For crying out loud, he introduced her as a friend and then went ahead to sleep with her.

It almost brought her to tears once again, but she was interrupted by another fierce knocking. Sniffling, she dragged herself to the door and opened it. Jane was standing on the other side with a frown etched all over the face.

"What the fuck is going on?" Her best friend exclaimed, stepping inside. She waved her phone about dramatically, "Why did Damon call me and told me that you ran away from his place without letting him explain? I left you at Stella's place last night. What happened?"

Mia winced. Of course, Damon called her best friend. Not that he knew about Stella, or he would have called her too. Jane was staring at her expectantly, arms crossed, and face set.

"You need to tell me what's going on?"

"I think you know the answer to that," Mia let out a sigh, walking straight to her bedroom. She didn't dare to sit down and talk with her friend in fear of breaking down.

Jane's eyes bulged, and she looked at Mia, "Why would you think that? I didn't talk to him beyond that. Just... please tell me?"

Mia bit her lips as her friend flopped back down. It feels like there's something underneath her skin, like the scream from that morning was still trapped in her throat. Taking a deep breath, she ignored the urge to scream and instead told Jane everything.

Jane rubbed her knees sympathetically. "Do you wanna go out? We can; I don't know. Get coffee. Get a train somewhere. Go to Disneyland or some place nice, I dunno."

"As tempting as the happiest place of world sounds right now," Mia snapped. "No"

"Sorry," Her friend muttered a moment later, and the anger was white-hot and simmering right from her legs to head, and she can't fucking shake it. Still couldn't believe it.

"You wanna get drunk?" Her friend asked tentatively, "we're good at that."

"You're pregnant."

"I know, but you can drink" Jane cringed.

Actually, Mia didn't want to get drunk. She wanted to hit Damon right in his pretty face because it's not fair that he got to be okay, and Mias left feeling like a truck dragged over her body. Why her?

"I want to fucking kill him," The assistant said hoarsely, biting on her lips hard enough to draw blood. The metallic taste in her mouth made her almost nauseous, but she bit back the urge to throw up. "you know the first thing that I thought when I saw them like that?"

"No," Jane said, carefully blank.

"I thought about hitting his pretty face," Mia started, licking her lips. "Why did I think that?"

Her friend didn't answer.

"Mi", She softly started, but Mia cut her off, anger hissing underneath her skin. That tone irked her.

"Don't, Jane," She spit, "Just fucking don't start. I don't want to hear it. The lecture on how I should let it go or move on. I'm not fucking interested. Don't say it, don't breathe a word of it, don't give me any of it, because I can't fucking deal with that right now."

"I wouldn't. Mi...I would never. I can't imagine what you are going through but trust me; and I wouldn't do that."

"I know," The assistant murmured into her hands, and she didn't expect the surge of feeling that coursed through her and then tears spilling over for what feels like the tenth time that day, but it is only the first time in front of someone else, "I'm sorry."

And then Jane's there, and her palms were rubbing circles into her back and shoulder's soaked by Mia's eyes squeezing shut, and honestly, she wanted to throw up.

"I'm so angry," Mia whispered, muffled into her friend's shirt, "and it's not enough. I don't. I can't. I don't know what I'm meant to do."

"I know," She murmured into Mia's hair, listening to her cry, "I am right here for you. What can I do?"

"I love him so much." Her breath hitched in her chest, and for a moment, she's shaking so hard Mia feels like she's about to die. "I love him so, so much."

It took her a second to take another breath without crying. When she did, it stuck that her that Jane might not be coping with this, so she hastily wiped her eyes and sniffed in an entirely unattractive way.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to make it, like—"

"Mia, are you listening to me right now?" Her friend asked slowly, tilting her head up with her index finger, "You can say, or do, or fucking scream, anything you want to, okay, and I'm gonna be right here for all of it."

All of it. It sounded scary. It made her want to crawl under the couch and physically die.

"Okay," Mia said instead, taking the most unsure breath she's ever mustered, "T-That's okay" She cleared her throat, then screwed her eyes shut again. It should get easy.

***

The next morning Jane checked up on her again with homemade grilled panini for breakfast.

"I should get out of bed," Mia said quietly.

"Do you want to?"

"Truthfully no", The assistant sighed, tugging the sheets closer "These sheets still smell like him."

And then there it was again, and she felt so dreadfully little and so fucking pathetic, more than anything, just sad, and she fisted a hand into her pillow and tried not to cry.

"Oh, Mi," Jane said, and she didn't wait for her to ask, just sat up and fell sort of miserably into her, almost overrun with how fucking instinctively comforting it is to be able to give a hug. There's no one else, absolutely no one; she'd rather be with right now.

Mia didn't even realise that she didn't cry anymore because it all felt the same in her head; tears and smashing arbitrary objects around her place and insomnia and whatever's in between.

"Can I ask you something?" The assistant licked her lips, pulling away shakily, and she squeezed her eyes shut for a minute. It's stupid. In the back of her mind, Mia was not even sure if she should be going through with it. There are only so many days she could avoid going to work and seeing his face. It didn't help that her phone was blaring all night, flooded with his messages and calls.

What more did Damon want to say anyway? She thought every time the screen lit up. After three in the morning, she stopped staring at it.

"You can ask me anything," Jane smiled softly, "you can ask me anything or tell me anything whenever you want to."

Mia rolled her eyes. "You are so sweet to me. I don't deserve it."

"Shush. Now, what's on your mind?"

And right, yeah. She can't deflect with her best friend. Jane knew her far too well. She forgot that sometimes. Mia sat up slowly, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "I want to go out for lunch."

"That's a brilliant idea."

She shook her head. "I want to go out with Jake. What do you think?"

Her friend beamed at her, eyes crinkling from the light filtering through the huge windows. "I think it's wonderful. You don't have to worry about anyone Mi. It's about you, and you are the one who should decide what you want to do."

"O-Okay, I'll do that" Mia hesitantly smiled.

***