16

X E N O S

➳

"Wait." Reah caught my hand as I tried to get up. "Can we talk for a moment?"

I nodded, wanting to follow Arya, and sat back down. I had felt her eyes, which kept coming back to me. And they confused me. One moment Arya was snuggling up against me, and the other she was snarling at me like I was the devil himself. “Let someone understand women.”

"It's about Arya," Reah said after Devon left, closing the door behind her.

I crossed my arms over my chest and my wolf growled. "What about her?"

She sipped her chamomile tea and looked at me over the rim of the cup. "How are things between you two?"

My brows shot up. "You want to know how things are going between me and Arya?"

'I know it's not my beer. But you are my brother Xenos, I care about you.” There was no smile on her face as she placed the cup on the table. "Arya isn't good for you."

A snort. "Like I said, it's not your beer."

She pursed her lips slightly angrily. “I haven't seen you this close to the border in ages. Your wolf is almost within reach, Xenos. Not only is it bad for you, it “makes” your condition worse.”

I growled. "I have it under control."

"Do you dream?"

"No."

Now it was Reah who crossed her arms defiantly. "You've always been an absolutely horrible liar." She arched an eyebrow. "So how bad are they?"

"Reah, stop it." My claws were already out and my wolf roamed restlessly, not wanting to think about the demons that haunted me every night.

She grabbed my hand. “I see the shadows in your eyes. See the nightmare.” Brown eyes looked at me knowingly. Brown eyes filled with the same demons. "Let go. Otherwise it will destroy you.” she whispered and squeezed my hand. "It was not your fault."

I jerked my hand away from her. "You know that's what it was."

She sighed in exasperation. 'Then at least think about your pack, you oaf. Devon told me how much all the members feel the tension between you guys." Devon - “that bastard” - just babbled too much, "They don't need that, not when the rumor of a Rouge pack led by Hades' son is in in the air.”

“I'll only tell that once to Reah. “Arya is none of your business”.”

Reah's eyes narrowed and she studied me. "Is she your mate?"

"No. There's no tape."

"But you think it could be her?"

I shrugged and rubbed my face. “Does that matter? It's not there."

Reah sat back, her forehead wrinkling in thought. “Well, gis handle the whole mate thing differently than you. “Aee”, there is a connection. The Sacred Ceremony of Eternal Union binds the souls of two lovers together—eternally.” She placed her free wrist on the table and stroked the bare spot. 'It was here too. Leavs and my symbol.” A sad smile.

A pang in my heart to see her so distressed. I grabbed her hand. "How was it with you? Did you guys have a bond?'

““Aee”. By the time we turned 18, he could tell.” She stroked her wrist absently again. But as she lifted her head, she put her hand over mine and she gave me such a serious look, as if she didn't want me to ever forget those words. “The binding of the gis is different from the ribbon, xenos. “Aee”, it's forever, but one chooses this bond consciously. Nothing is predetermined. And Leav and I, we were just kids when we met. We've always known we were meant to be together, even without a bond. I've wanted him my whole youth, I hadn't resisted him or the bond for a second. I've always been open to the bond."

I gritted my teeth as I understood. "That means Arya and I could have a bond, but if she doesn't acknowledge the connection, it's denied?"

"That would be an option."

My voice rattled hoarsely in my throat as I uttered words I wish weren't true. "So I could be tied to a woman who doesn't want me." “To a woman who could - and would - resist the bond.”

A R Y A

➳

As soon as I saw Joy sitting next to Devon in the kitchen, laughing, I joined her. “Joy? Can I talk to you for a minute?'

Devon clutched his heart in horror. "Honey bee, you dare steal my sugar doll?"

Joy growled and punched his arm. 'Get out, mutt.' Then she set her cheese sandwich down on her plate and smiled at me, but I didn't miss the loving look she'd given Devon. "Clear."

I pulled her aside into the aisle, away from all the curious werewolf ears. "The dress you spoke of."

She looked at me invitingly when I paused. "Yes?"

I shifted impatiently from one foot to the other. "I've decided not to wear it."

"You're not coming to the annual ball?" I looked at her in astonishment. "Arya, please!"

I shook my head. "No. I'm just staying here until we get things settled with Daemon. Then I'll go home.” To my tribe. where i belonged I balled my hands into fists and tried to ignore the knife digging into my chest.

"Too bad." Joy sighed, but then awkwardly raised her hands. 'Very well. If that's what you want."

A growl behind me that sounded far lower and more dangerous than I was used to. I spun around and froze as blue, glowing eyes looked back at me.

Xenos laughed dryly. "You can not be serious."

I tore myself out of my stick stare, put my heart behind icy walls. "Yes, yes. You certainly have enough other dance partners." I backed off a bit to put more distance between us. "I'm sure Cecilia would be happy to join you."

I saw the anger in his eyes. The blue fire that burned within them, waiting to be unleashed. "Is it that what you want? That I'm going with Cecilia?”

I shrugged irrelevantly. "You can do whatever you want."

He shook his head in disbelief. "I just don't think so." He ran his hands through his blond-brown hair and laughed coldly. "You know, Arya, you're a coward."

A stab in my heart. Words I had heard all too often. Words I never hoped would come out of that mouth. My eyes narrowed as I said very calmly, "Say that again."

"You're a”coward”." He drew the word out with relish, leaning down to me and never taking his eyes off me. “A “miserable coward” if you can't even admit that you feel something for me. I thought you were the fiercest warrior “te Retani”, the sharpest woman I've ever seen, but I guess I was sorely wrong. A little girl would have more guts than you.”

It was like a slap in the face. I hissed while restraining myself from clawing his eyes out. "Take that back, kindly."

"Forget it." He shook his head and his eyes were darker than ever as he pulled away. "If you're scared and want to run," he raised his arms, "fine, do it."

My shoulders straightened as if of their own accord. "“Good”."

His jaw clenched as I turned. ““BEAUTIFUL!”“ he yelled after me.

Suppressing the burning in my eyes, I raised my arm over my head and gave him my middle finger. Should he cross himself.

"But don't come back because you realized what we had was damn special!"

Loud, enraged roars followed my every step as I ran down the richly paneled corridors and stormed up the stairs to my chambers. I wiped my tears from my cheeks in frustration and banged the door shut behind me with a loud bang.

He was a “miserable asshole!” “A brute!” How could he claim me so much all this time, sneaking so much into my heart, stealing behind my hard built walls, until I wanted nothing more than to be his. How could he throw me so much into the abyss? “How?”

My body shook with my sobs as I leaned against the door and slumped to the floor. I ruffled my hair. The purest emotional chaos reigned in me and it felt as if my heart would be torn apart.

“Aee”, I was Arya, warrior of the tribe of Retani, first arrow and daughter of the chief. It was my duty to defend my tribe, to come back and to lead them - no ifs or buts. Still, my heart ached at the mere thought of leaving Xenos.

If I found Daemon, it would all be over. I would never see him again. And it was fine like that. It should be so. It “could” not be otherwise. Still, the knife twisted in my chest, splitting me open.

“How much I hated him! Miserable mutt”. My fist smashed the marble floor, tearing the skin over my knuckles. Red spots adorned the white stone slabs, as if it had rained blood. I didn't want any of that. Didn't want those feelings for him. I didn't want him, I didn't want to pine for him, just waiting for him to look at me. Until he touched me and made me feel like I was the only one seeing me. me alone

I soiled my face with my hands and pulled my legs up as the storm inside me rose to a tremendous crescendo and shards suddenly flew through the air. A thick branch of the deciduous tree in front of the warehouse shot through the window and destroyed it in one fell swoop.

“Remember, Nahija my little one, there is always a way. “

Where “Saehva”, where? I didn't find this way. He didn't exist. Xenos and I could never get together.

I stood up, skirting the broken glass that lay on the floor, and grabbed my bow and quiver from the four-poster bed. The finely sanded pine wood dug into my palm and I suddenly missed Rowtag. I missed his stupid jokes, his goofy grin he used to cheer me up, his words of comfort and his perfect advice - he would know exactly what to do in that moment.

It was so much easier back then. Everything was easier without that stupid heart. This hideous desire for a king that was driving me insane. A king I couldn't have.