40
A R Y A
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I always thought it was impossible to think of nothing. nothing to feel to be nothing And yet I did it. Here I sat, in a lonely cell, and no longer knew who I actually was.
The dull, gray fog shielded me from the pain, not letting the words that hit the veil with a soft throb get through to me. I believed it was the last thread of my consciousness protecting me from the memory and the immeasurable pain that went with it. I couldn't stand him.
I leaned my head against the cold stone wall and only realized that I was cold thanks to my sober realization that my body was shaking.
How long have I been here? minutes? Or has it been hours? It was pitch black in the crypt and there was no window I could use to orientate myself according to the time. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the silence, which instantly fell back on, forbidding me to worry about trivial things; because I didn't care anyway.
I stopped fighting the moment the only person who still cared about me radically cut me out of their life. The only person I had left.
I stared dully at the brick wall in front of me and almost enjoyed the pulling pain in my chest that pierced through the gray fog. At least something I still felt, something that still separated me from the nothing that was irrevocably coming towards me.
The voice came unexpectedly and the tightness in my chest gave way to an unspeakable agony that brought tears to my eyes and ripped my ribs apart.
“You could never be nothing to me.”
"LIAR!" I roared, ripping my crown off my head and smashing it against the wall. The bang gave me a little satisfaction, but it wasn't enough. Because this thing didn't shatter, it just slammed onto the floor and stayed there, not a single dent.
Breathing fast, he looked away, never wanting to look at or even touch this thing again. I wasn't his queen, not anymore. Let him give it to Cecilia, if he wanted, she would surely appreciate it.
"Arya?" a voice echoed through the crypt just before the corridor lit up and a delicate figure stepped around the corner. “Georgie”.
Quick footsteps, then there was light in my cell.
"Hey, didn't you hear me?" A loud thud as she inserted the torch into the metal holder in the stone wall outside the cell. Then the lock rattled, so she had to fiddle with something. "I'll get you out of here."
I drew my legs up and faced the opposite direction from her. "You shouldn't be here, Georgie."
The door swung open with a squeak and her black boots came into view. "Come on, come on, up!"
“Always there for you Arya. Always. “How could he have looked me in the eyes? How could he have made me feel so much, promising me things he didn't keep? And I silly nut had believed him. Had believed and trusted him - more than anyone before.
I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the wall. "Just go."
"Didn't you hear what I just said?" She stamped her foot when I didn't answer her. "Arya!"
"Get off to “Cecilia” and leave me alone!" I snapped suddenly, clenching my teeth not to grab her and throw us out of my cell. "She seems to be “Miss ultra Popular”."
I heard her move and then two hands were on my knees. My eyes opened to see Georgie kneeling in front of me.
"The only reason I voluntarily spent time with “Miss ultra Unpopular” is because I've heard she's the only one who is that knowledgeable about botany and herbs."
I stared at the wall behind her. "What about Reah?"
"I don't know Reah and I don't trust her."
I didn't either, but still... I snorted. "But “Cecilia” does?"
"She's with the pack." And apparently that was reason enough. “I knew from the start that you would never allow me to follow you to the Skihlas, so I made something up. Beau knows me, he knows I'd try anything to follow you guys anyway, so I assumed he'd post guards. Guards who would be far enough from me that my powers as healer werewolves could not access them, but they would guard me from afar. So I had to find another way. And since Beau certainly wouldn't leave me any weapons, and I couldn't hurt my own pack, I must choose another method."
"Did you poison her or what?" I scoffed dryly.
"No." Now she smiled mischievously. “I just drugged her a little bit. Sleeping pills would count as well.”
She was clever, you had to give her that. I stroked the delicate red fabric of my dress. "Did you know they would lock me up?"
"No."
"Then how did you find me?"
"Well, you screamed so loud that they wanted to lock you up, you'd have to be deaf as a werewolf not to hear anything."
I didn't say anything, just felt the icy needles pricking my skin and tearing it open. His cool gaze, his calm demeanor and his cold voice: “Come on, take her to the dungeon.”
I pulled my legs away from Georgie's hands closer to me. "Leave me alone." Because there was nothing left to save. I was empty, just silent, searing pain ripping through my insides, taking my breath away. Everything was taken from me. There was no Arya” - Ahivi te Honaw, “Arya” - First Arrow te Retani “or Arya” - Mate te Xenos. “There was no more Arya.
“I” was no more.
"Isn't there anyone in the cells you care about?" Georgie whispered, close enough to me I could feel her breath.
The gray mist cleared a little and my hands clenched around the red fabric. “Rowtag”.
But Georgie seemed to misinterpret my silence. she sighed. “I don't know what Xenos did, but I know my king. And I know my queen.” She stood up, picked up the tiara from the floor, and sat down next to me. "Do you remember what you said to me?"
Though I remembered, I shook my head.
"Don't lose your poise and pride," she said, lifting my chin. "Be an honorable warrior." She pressed the tiara into my hands and closed my fingers around it. "Be a strong queen." She stood up and held out her hand. "And show him what he's missing out on."
I lifted my head and saw the silent question in Georgie's wide eyes. The cool metal cut into my palms and I felt something stir inside me. It wasn't anger, nor was it sadness or loss. It was dark, bloodthirsty “revenge”.
Because everything had started with “her”. Everything had to do with me “her”. If it weren't for that “SNAKE”, I wouldn't be in this dungeon.
Oh, and I would avenge her. For having lost everything - for not being anything anymore.
I grabbed Georgie's hand.
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