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Nate's POV
"Good morning, my little man.", I laugh and beam at my older son, who smiles broadly from under his pacifier and sleepily brushes his brown curls away from his face.
"Dada!" he mumbles while sighing and brushing the brown curls off his face.
His big, green eyes bore into mine, seem to look downright into my soul and with a sigh I lift him onto my arm.
As if he doesn't know any different, he hides his face in the hollow of my neck as his hand slides under the fabric of my shirt because otherwise my little boy isn't sure if it's really me holding him.
Its unique scent fills my nostrils and calms my every nerve, as if the past few months haven't been the most stressful of my life.
Almost six months have passed and now there are not just three of us, but four of us.
Arrow D. Vance-Hamilton came into the world on a beautiful fall morning and immediately stole my heart.
The smallest man in the family has just turned six months old and is already busy crawling around while his Harry is slowly discovering the world of speech.
Not a day goes by that I don't gush about my sons, which may be because they're the only thing really keeping me going right now.
My relationship with Sophia?
Something between catastrophe and disaster.
It's not that I love her less or don't feel the same passion for her as I did two years ago, but for some reason things just aren't working out between us right now.
Three months ago, Roven moved back to New York, as did my beloved father-in-law, and since the whole Hamilton family has been reunited, things seem different.
How I would like to blame my sister-in-law because something tells me she has something to do with the distance between me and my wife.
Shortly after Arrow was born, Noah and Flora broke up, and just a month later she started dating some super rich designer, and she also expected understanding from me.
It's none of my business who my wife's sister is dating, but since it affects my little brother somewhere, I can't just look the other way.
I know how much it is destroying Sophia that the relationship between me and her family is a complete mess, but there is simply nothing I can do about it.
Every time I approach my father-in-law, he blocks me and won't even let me talk to him, although his son isn't really any better.
At some point I gave up and even if I would keep trying for Sophia forever, something has to come from the other side.
The only place I can forget all my problems is with my sons and with the busy office at the moment I use every free second I have to spend time with them.
When I arrive in the youngest Vance's room with Harry, I am greeted with a wide smile as the curtains open.
Arrow looks at me with big, blue-green eyes, wraps his tiny hands around the rungs of his bed and pulls himself up with effort before I pick him up, too.
"Let's prepare mom some breakfast, maybe then she'll love me again," I say to my boys with a big, but thoroughly broken smile, before I make my way to the kitchen with them.
I put them both in their chairs and poured a few berries on their tables before I got down to breakfast.
Hoping that Sophia will somehow show that we're still married and that she doesn't hate me to the core, I make pancakes, fresh coffee and fruit salad just the way she likes them before I walk back upstairs with the boys.
The sight of her naked body is just divine and the thought of last night makes every muscle in my body twitch because even though she seems to hate me, she will never be able to deny the sexual attraction between us.
I smile as I watch Harry walk up to his mother and brush her dark hair away from her face before giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.
"There's definitely no better way to be woken up.", she mumbles, eyes still closed and a sleepy voice.
Without a word, I hand her one of my shirts, which she immediately pulls over her head before tying a braid and turning back to Harry.
"How's my little man today?" she asks him and starts kissing his cheek before hiding her nose in the hollow of his throat and then starting to tickle him.
Arrow watches the two just like me, totally calm and more than just enthusiastic, but at some point even the youngest Vance seems to have had enough.
With a loud shout, he speaks up, immediately gets the full attention of his mother, who hugs his cheeks with a big smile.
"What time do you have to go to work today?" my beautiful wife asks after almost ten minutes while she's nursing Arrow and feeding Harry pancakes.
"So you just want to ignore last night like that?" I reply, disappointed when again I encounter nothing but this pure coldness in the beautiful brown of her eyes.
"We had sex, Nathaniel, that's something completely normal in a marriage. What else do you want to talk about?" Sophia replies, more than confused by my question, and I rub my face with a sigh.
"Actually one talks about problems in a marriage, but oh well. I'm taking Harry to the office today, my mother wants to see him and we're having lunch together today. I'm leaving in twenty minutes," I just reply, can't hide how much this cold manner of my wife annoys me and downright fucks me up.
The feeling that everything I say and do just seems wrong is killing me and the fact that it really is my own wife making me feel this way only makes it worse.
Without a word, I get up before grabbing Harry's hand and pulling him off the bed as well.
"But I don't want you to take him with you." Sophia suddenly says and I turn to her in surprise.
"Are you serious?" I ask in disbelief.
The constant pain in my chest just won't go away and I really feel like my lungs are going to collapse in a matter of seconds.
"He stays here.", she says murmur, provokes me with every letter and I stare at her in disbelief.
"I'll take my son with me just because I know you're doing it out of sheer provocation to me. You know what, Sophia? Fuck you."
Unable to hold back my pent-up feelings any longer, I choose anger this time over pain and sadness because for some reason it seems to me that Sophia thinks I'm a little coot who just makes it up put up with, but not with me.
"You can't talk to me like that! I'm your damn wife!" she shouts at me and almost bursting with rage I put Harry down in his play area and run into our room.
"Then act like that, goodness gracious! Treating me like a fucking stranger for weeks, but go back to being a kitty when you need it and then being a cold-hearted bitch when you don't need me anymore, huh?? Who am I "To you? Do I look like a fucking call boy?" I yell at her, trying to calm down somehow because I'm too aware of Arrow's presence, but from this point I just can't take it anymore.
Her wide eyes fill with regret and - finally - I see that familiar, warm expression on her beautiful face again.
"Nate, I-", "You what? I'm really tired of all this bullshit, Sophia. Don't come back to me until you have a good, plausible explanation for your shitty behavior or you finally want to divorce." , I just hiss before running into my son's room and picking out an outfit for him, heartbroken and bleeding from his chest.
"What do you want?" I ask coldly as I spot my wife's reflection in the mirror at the door.
Annoyed, I tuck my shirt in my pants and sigh softly when she comes up to me and stands in front of me.
She is so beautiful.
So much prettier than anyone else.
Two years ago I couldn't get over her beauty and all these months later I still don't understand how she can be so beautiful.
Her hand slides to my cheek and I swallow and look into her brown eyes, which are just so defying with desire; just like before.
"You want me to divorce you?" she asks softly, trying to hide the cracking in her soft voice but failing miserably.
The tip of her tiny nose is all red and it's so obvious she's holding back her tears and somehow I'm glad to see her like this because it lets me know she hasn't given up on me completely.
"That's the last thing I want, Sophia."
Totally stunned by her sudden affection, I gasp as she presses her lips to mine and sobs softly.
"Then why do you say things like that?" she replies as she pulls away from me and hides her face in my chest.
As if I hadn't spent all night touching her, I run my hands restlessly over her body.
"Because you treat me like a stranger," I answer honestly, stroking her head and sighing softly.
"I would never ask a stranger to fuck me until I can't stand anymore, my dear." She mumbles in amusement and I look into her eyes with a smirk.
"What's the matter with you, Sophia?" I ask, taking her little face in my hands.
She immediately nestles into my touch, kisses my palm and sighs, shaking her head.
"I don't know," she mumbles, looking at me worried.
"There's this indefinable emptiness inside me that I don't know how to deal with," my wife continues, not even breaking eye contact.
"You think it's because of me?" I ask worried.
The way my heart breaks when she nods is so intense and strong that I gasp for a moment.
"Oh god, no, I - no. Not just because of you. But you definitely had something to do with it," she adds immediately, cupping my face in her tiny hands and kissing my chin before continuing to search for words.
"Before the babies it was just us and now that the boys are here it's just us with our families, you know? It's like we're having a battle over who has the better family. That's Harry's to me I noticed it on my birthday and ever since then I can't get it out of my head. Because of this pressure we get from our families, we lose each other and it drives me crazy, but I don't know how to prevent that.", she explains to me carefully and Care.
I smile and tuck one of her strands behind her ear while admiring her unique beauty.
"You don't make losing each other any better by distancing yourself from me and treating me like a stranger, baby," I reply and she nods, laughing.
"I realize that now. Twenty minutes ago I could have ripped your head off for throwing the F bomb at my head, but that really woke me up."
I gently kiss her forehead and give her a relieved smile before turning back to my outfit.
"If you want, you can come by with Arrow for lunch today." I say and walk downstairs with her.
"I already have an appointment with Roven but - come straight home today.", she just says, handing me my bag while I hand Harry to John.
"Why?" I ask, confused, more than overwhelmed when my wife wraps her arms around my body, but deftly slips her hand between my legs.
"Just do it." She only whispers, kisses me addictedly, torments me to the last nerve by letting her tongue slide over mine for only a short time.
I grin widely and just nod before kissing her again and then making my way to my car.
