FIFTY SIX

DAMON

Mouth pried open in horror, the leader of The Pretties Gang placed his hands over his chest. Then he looked straight at me. As his shiny forehead deepened with a frown, his chest began to ooze blood, the reddish fluid coating his fingers. Soon, coughing noises filled the room.

Felix’s feet became unstable and he began to stagger until his back hit the mattress behind him. From there, his soul began to leave him and I finally became aware of the scrambling in the room.

I could feel a great tremble in my hands as the gun in my hold dropped to the ground as though my touch hurt it. Then, with my mind falling into serious jeopardy that I couldn’t for the love of my life sort out, my head darted toward Selena who had swiftly rolled to a side before the leader could stab her.

Our gazes stayed locked for several seconds. And again, the chaotic feet around us that were trying to find a way to escape the gruesome moment became faded. All I could hear at that moment were my thickening breaths and my thumping heart. Slowly, tears began to well in my eyes, stinging my sight greatly. Then, at intervals, as Selena kept her eyes on me, my mind replayed the gunshot sound and the way the man I just shot fell to his death.

A small cry escaped me as a sharp pain ripped my heart with great impact. Clutching my shirt desperately with my shaky hands, my back arched as whimpering sounds followed. My eyes were now heavily clouded by tears, and all my head could play at that moment was the reminder that I killed a person.

“Argh!” A loud scream followed as I failed to get the image out of my head. Shaking my head fervently, hitting the sides of my head, stomping my feet as my entire body became more unstable…I did these things to stop the torture in my soul.

It was painful. Too painful.

My heart ached more when the image of my late brother appeared, reminding me of the fact that I just killed the person that killed my brother. I didn’t even get to ask him questions. I didn’t even get to confront him.

“Argh! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

Why won’t my head stop ringing? Why is my heart tearing apart when the man I murdered isn't a friend? Why can’t my body just stay fucking still?

I just…

My thick breaths turned to heavy and loud pants which wore winces at intervals.

I just want to feel less shitty. I don’t want to be burdened with the guilt of murdering someone that killed my brother.

So, why do I feel this way?

In the midst of my chaos, my nose picked up the scent of Selena’s perfume and I could tell that she was close. I was about to look up at her when something weighed me down and caused me to fall to my knees. Instantly feeling lifeless, my mouth now doing the breathing, I looked to the side and allowed those tears to fall.

Biting into my quivering lips, I found myself giving in to the pain. I just couldn’t fight it. I was bound to lose anyway.

As more tears rolled down my face, I sensed Selena’s increased proximity and I was about to tell her to leave me alone when she pulled my body into her chest.

I had no time to express the slight surprise I had, so, I accepted her invitation and leaned into her hold, crying more than ever.

~

It had been almost a week after the incident and the nightmares that raided my dreams weren’t what I expected.

I had restrained myself from sleeping because I thought that all I would see is me killing the leader of The Pretties.

No, all I saw was the day my brother died. The ruins of the accident, his soulless and bloodied body, the way his hand held onto his wife’s… I saw them all. The imagery was fresh as though the accident happened recently.

I was just waking up from one of those nightmares and the darkness in my room was the first thing that greeted me. Things have been that way for some time. After purposefully blocking light from entering my room, I decided to heal from my aches by staying in bed for as long as possible. Well, since that didn’t work, I think it is safe to say that all I did was hide from my pains which kept abounding as I lied to myself more and more that I would be fine.

I was about to sit up when my front door sounded like it had been ripped apart. Frowning because of the loud noise that followed and worried that my small living room had suffered a terrible fate, I walked out of my bed, walked past the unwashed cups around my bed, and unlocked my door.

“Oh great, you are alive,” Selena said with a hint of sarcasm in her voice. As she walked past the fallen door which surprisingly didn’t ruin anything in the room, she continued, “I was hoping you had not harmed yourself.” Her hands held the ends of her long skirt. Or maybe her attire was a gown? Whichever. “ I am glad to see you haven’t done anything drastic.”

Sighing hard, my hands on my waist, I asked, ‘What are you doing here, Selena?”

“I came to-”

“Did you come to teach me how to get used to killing people? After all, I am like you now. You must be happy about that.”

“Damon…” I was still standing at the entrance of my shabby room, so Selena walked up to me. Her hands clasped behind her, her head tilted gently to the side as the tender look that makes me adore her found its way to her eyes, she said, “I am not happy. I am worried.”

My forehead wore a crease in reaction.

“Why would you be worried? It’s not like we have a special relationship.”

“Will you stop talking like that?”

“Why?” I glared at her, and one of my brows quirked. “Am I lying?”

“Why do you have to bring that up when I’m just trying to-”

“Selena…” I felt tired all of a sudden. “Can you please leave?”

Confusion flashed on her face and she took a step closer. “But I just got here. I even brought you a meal. I was right to think that you have been starving. You look like you lost a few pounds.”

Sighing hard, my eyes closed for a second as I tried to summon the strength to pull through that moment. “Selena…” I hated the weakness in my voice but I couldn’t help it. At that point, I was feeling like I could drop dead. My limbs felt feeble, the ache in my heart worsened and my head felt like it would split open. “Will you please leave? Please stop acting like you care.”

“But I do care.”

“Hmm?” Her response was not expected. I thought she would quietly walk away. Suddenly, it felt like my strength was back. As our eyes met again, I felt the weakness in my soul dissolve and as she took a step closer, my heart stopped aching for just a second. It felt warm inside me for just a second.

“Damon Jones…” The breeze from outside found its way into the room thanks to the destroyed door and the mild wind managed to make her skirt dance. “I care a lot. I know this might sound insane, but I couldn’t stop worrying about you ever since that day. Damon, I will be a liar if I say that what happened that day didn’t affect you. I know you have it hard at the moment, that’s why I want to help you.”

I scoffed. “Hearing you mention things like helping me sounds unreal.”

“No.” Her lips curled. “The unreal thing is what I feel for you.”

“What?”

“It is truly insane. It is really insane.” I did not miss how her hands drew into fists as though she was fighting something. “Why should I care about the fact that you shot someone for the first time? Why should I care to the extent of buying you a meal because I know that you would have starved yourself? But that is how it is.”

She took a deep inhale and as I watched her release the breath, I became curious about the things she just said and the words she was yet to say.

“Damon…” Taking a step closer, her hands could finally rest on my chest. Selena looked up at me and I noticed the welling in her eyes. “Why does my heart ache with delight whenever I see you? Even when I don’t get to see you, my heart keeps yearning for you and my head keeps thinking about you. So, why?” Her fingers coiled around my shirt. “I have tried so hard to ignore these things. I almost decided to stop having sex with you because I hated the way I was feeling.”

“Selena…” My hands covered hers as the shock of her words settled to cause fluttering in my heart. I also felt that warmth from earlier.

Still clutching my chest, she continued, “For the past few days, I have been really worried about you. I have never worried about another soul in my entire life, so why are you any different? But each time I recall that day, my heart aches for you and I become more and more concerned to the point that I had to buy you a meal as an excuse to meet you.”

“Selena…”

“Come with me.”

“Huh?”

“I know it will be hard for you to overcome the fact that you killed someone, so I want to help you. I want to help you forget about that day. Let’s go on a vacation together at my beach house. I promise to treat you well.” As if she didn’t just indirectly confess her feelings, Selena let go of my shirt and began to take many steps backward while saying, “Call me if you want to go. I will be waiting for you. I will send Lucius in to give you your meal. Bye.”

Like that, Selena left the room as though she never entered it. And I was alone again, but this time, apart from the broken door which exposed my living room to the whole street, my heart stopped aching.

~

AUTHOR'S NOTE

HELLO EVERYONE. THANK YOU FOR READING.

SO, IT TURNS OUT I MISTAKENLY UPLOADED CHAPTER43 AFTER CHAPTER 52. PLEASE DISREGARD THAT. I'LL MESSAGE THE EDITORS TO CANCEL THE MISTAKE.