FIFTY SEVEN

DAMON

After mixing the reddish, sweet-smelling sauce with my dish of white rice which was almost finished, I stole a glance at the small bag I packed for my vacation with Selena.

Yes, I decided to go on the short holiday Selena proposed. And surprisingly, I haven’t had second thoughts.

I don’t know if it is because of my willingness to escape the pain I am suffering or if I simply want to be closer to Selena after the words she said the other day. Either way, I haven’t grown cold feet about going on vacation and that seemed to be a good thing to me.

“Damon, have you fixed your broken door?” My mother asked as she walked out of the kitchen with a smaller plate of rice for Rebecca who had just arrived from her play date. Dropping the plate a little bit loudly on the dining table, my mother planted her hands on her waist and stared at me with intent. “Don’t tell me you left that door unattended to.”

“I didn’t. It has been fixed.”

“Good,” she sparingly replied, her hand running through Rebecca’s hair as the little one had her seat in front of her meal. She was already helping herself to the sauce topping so my mother soon placed her attention on me. “You should start thinking about moving to a new house. You can at least plan to do so. That way, by next year, you’ll be moving into a new place.”

“Okay, ma.”

“I am serious.” I didn’t miss how stern her voice sounded. That tone forced me to look up at her while I dropped my spoon. “You now have a good-paying job. Use this opportunity to move to a new place.”

Nodding, I managed a smile. “Okay, ma.” She suddenly gave my back a hard slap. “Why?” I cried, utter dread on my face as I reached my arm to rub the spot she hit. “Why would you do that, ma?”

Pointing a warning finger at me, she said, “You had better look for a new house or else I will deal with you.”

“Jeez, okay. Why did you have to beat me for that? Your hand is like iron.”

“Are you insulting your mother?” The way she glared at me caused me to swiftly shift my attention to the small fraction of my food that was left. “Don’t try me, Damon. And stop touching your back!”

“Okay, okay.” Jeez. Why was she so cranky? As I tried to get rid of my frown before my mother could see it, I noticed that Rebecca was trying to stifle her laughter. I was about to confront the little girl when my mother spoke again.

“I know you deserve a break, but is there a special reason for going on this vacation of yours?” A grunt left her lips as she stood upright after arching her back to pick something off the floor. Setting the plastic toy that was shaped like a horse on a nearby stool, she faced me, her seriousness scaring me a little. It was almost as though she would eventually be able to tell that two weeks ago, I shot someone dead. “I can tell that something happened.”

“Uh…” I swallowed hard as I urged my brain to ensure that my face doesn’t give my guilt away.

“You don’t have to tell me if it’s too personal,” my mother said while her feet moved closer to my side. Rubbing the part she had earlier smacked, she continued, “Just make sure you don’t keep your emotions inside for too long. I know you are the quiet type. But sometimes, your refusal to share things with people worries me. You hardly voice your fears and because of that, you suffer a lot.”

To help hide my sins from her, I began to bite into the flesh of my lips.

Then, after taking a deep gulp, I managed to reply to her, “I just need the break. There is no special reason.”

“If you say so.” One last pat on the back and she said, “Your brother’s death anniversary is in two months. I want you to find some time to heal during your vacation. I will be stupid to claim that you have fully mourned his demise.” My mother grabbed my right hand and began to place strokes of affection on it. “You were too busy taking care of me and Rebecca back then. I know it has been years but I can tell that you are yet to heal. So, please, Damon, heal.”

Nodding, my emotions almost choking me and threatening to transform into tears, I replied, “I will try, ma.” Quickly, since I had no plans to break down into sobs in front of my family, I got up. Towering above my mother who had no choice but to crane her neck to look at me, I informed her that I was about to leave. Seconds later, we were hugging and as my mind flashed the image of the man I killed, my heart felt the squeeze it had been enduring for days.

“Take care, okay?” My mother pleaded with her eyes as our hug dissolved.

I reached for my small bag and gave my family forehead kisses that spoke a lot of the affection I felt for them.

Seconds later, I was walking out of my mother’s house and all I prayed for as my steps advanced to the busy street was that my family will never find out that I took a person’s life. Even if the person is the one that murdered my brother, I don’t want my family to know what I did.

I prayed that things would remain as peaceful as possible.

~

“I was about to leave,” Selena said as I got off the car she sent to the far entrance of the mansion to pick me up. I was surprised when a suited man, who was eagerly peering out of his black car, rushed toward me and took my bag from me.

“Why do I doubt that?”

Pressing the sides of her hair to stay still, I noticed how differently pretty Selena looked with her hair let down. Her face seemed smaller but her eyes wore a bolder look which gave her overall presence a bright appearance which was a huge opposite of who she really was.

“You look better,” she remarked as I found my stance beside her, my gaze falling on the green scenery that graciously encompassed the entire land. “Did you sleep well?”

My head quickly darted in her direction, an expression of amusement on my face thanks to the brow that I quirked in reaction. “Are you seriously worried about me?”

Her eyes circled the air as she looked a little confused. “Is that really strange?”

“Yes.” Recalling the words she said the other day soon caused a smirk to grow on my lips. I took one step closer to her. “But, it was stranger to hear you confess your feelings.”

“Me?” Selena pointed a finger to her chest. “When did I do that?”

“Really?” Another step forward and her head was almost buried in the hardness of my chest. Looking down at her with growing amusement on my face, I asked, “Are you trying to feign ignorance?”

“Why would I do that?” she asked firmly. “I didn’t confess my feelings, all I did was tell you about the weird things I had been feeling.”

“That’s freaking the same thing, Selena.”

“Oh…” I almost chuckled at how clueless she looked. Selena did look cute as she took a finger to her chin and began to delve into her thoughts. “Now I wish I didn’t say anything.” Our eyes met. “You might start to think that I have fallen in love with you.”

“I love your denial.” Before Selena could say anything, I asked, “Are we leaving soon?”

“Yes.”

Looking around, I noticed that her bag or bags were nowhere to be seen. “Are you going there without any luggage?”

“Oh…” She waved her hand in the air with slight recklessness. “My bags are on their way to the beach house. They should have arrived at the house by now.”

“Did you pack the entire mansion?” I could not resist the mockery that found its way into my voice.

“Very funny.” Seconds later, after taking a look at the grand building, Selena entered the car that brought me and I joined her.

Once we were settled, the vehicle began to move and Selena broke the silence that was in the space.

“You haven’t answered my question, Damon Jones.” Selena looked in my direction as she took a leg over the other, her long sundress looking more appealing. “Did you sleep well?”

Feeling that familiar comfort in my heart once again caused the side of my lips to curl into a small smile. “Yes. I did.”

“Did you eat the food I brought that day?”

“I preserved it till the next day.”

For a brief moment, Selena was going to ask a question, but she pulled herself and dropped it.

Then, as I looked out of the window, Selena did the strangest thing. Slowly, she rested her palm against my hand and while I was in the process of looking at her, she made our fingers interlace. And, more shockingly, when our eyes met, she did not break our touch.

~

Hours later and I could still feel the coziness of our seemingly little yet amazing contact. Staring at my palm which was feeling like a precious treasure at that moment, the sound of the rushing waves ahead reminded me that I was earlier admiring the gloominess of the ocean which kept raging, a sign that a storm was approaching.

Now that I think of it, it has ben a while since rain fell in our city and the thought of some refreshing downpour made excitement grow within my inner devastation.

“You can come in, Damon,” Selena said from behind, her voice raised slightly to fight the loud waves. “The house isn’t going to bite.”

“Very funny.” My shoes dug into the loose sand a little.

Selena patted my back as she stood beside me and said, “Are you okay?”

“I am.”

She folded her arms as she joined me to stare at the waves. Then she spoke further. “This is unrelated, but I had my first kill when I was fourteen.” I wasn’t shocked.    “I can never forget how shaken I was because I never intended to kill the man. But the man was a threat and I just had to protect the only home I had. Damon…” Selena faced me. “I just…”

“What?” My voice came out as a grunt as something within me feared the path her words were about to take.

Waiting for her to speak soon turned into a waste of time as a smile replaced the forlorn look on her face. Swiftly, she faced the ocean again and said, “Do you know what will be crazy? If we had sex right here…” The seductive pull in her voice… Damn… “… on this sandy ground.”