Episode 34

Playlist ~ Pink Sweat ft Khelani - At my worst

Micaela's POV

"That day you kissed me at my hotel room, did you kissed me because you are in love with me or it was just an empty kiss without no feelings attached to it?" Fernando's question came as an earthquake to my heart. I'm sure you know what happens when there's an earthquake, well my whole body is in turbulence right now.

Couple of minutes ago when we arrived at my house I was fine to an extent until when I overheard my dear friend telling Fernando what I'd shared with her in private during the period I was badly missing Fernando. She had found out my feelings for Fernando was beyond just a kiss and even when she put it in my mind that Fernando was a gay that's why he doesn't like women I still didn't buy the idea and that really provoked her. Because of my refusal to buy her idea, she accused me of falling blindly in love with Fernando. The craziest part of it was that I admitted right in front of her that I was in love with him and from that day she did all she could to make me forget him but it's not that easy to forget someone you've falling deeply in love with.

I thought that was going to be our little secret amongst the three of us because Kim is aware of it too, but unfortunately busybody Sabrina can never keep her mouth shut and had to spill it to Fernando. Now here he is seeking for the truth even when he already knows it. He wants to hear it from me if I do love him. What do I say to him, huh? Should I tell him how I feel about him? What good is going to come out from it if I do, is not like he's going to love me back, right?

"Micaela?" his sweet gentle voice brought me back to reality and I blink my eyes and cleared my throat.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I zoned out for a second".

"That was more than a second, minutes have gone by since I asked the question" he said and my mouth formed an 'o'. "I don't need you to lie to me just to make me feel better. I might have traveled all the way from Madrid to this place to get this answer but I don't want an answer that doesn't come from your heart".

"Ferd...." I whispered his name and took a deep breath. "This might sound crazy to you but I'll still say it-" I paused and my hands reached for his face and i cupped his face in my hands and locked gaze with him. His skin was so soft in my hands and his aftershave hits my nose. God knows how much have been dying to hold him in my hands like this. Holding him like this and staring into his eyes calmed my nerves and I felt safe in his presence. I don't care what the consequences of telling him my feelings would be but I had the chance now and nothing is going to stop me from making use of it.

"I love you Fernando, I love you so much that it hurts badly. I don't care if you love me back or not but I can't hide what I feel for you anymore. You've been my prince charming in my own fairy tale, you saved me not once but twice or even more. You didn't judge me when I wanted to take my own life, you only made me see my worth and since then I tried not to disappoint you by taking my own life. I couldn't thank you enough that day for what you did for me so I kissed you because that explains how I feel deep down my heart. I've missed you so fucking much this past one month and I tried everything I could just to forget you but I couldn't take my mind off you. Love is all I feel for you, you're so special to my heart Ferd. I know you don't feel the same but maybe someday you'll....."

My words were cut short by a kiss. Fernando shut me up with a kiss and that was the biggest surprise of my life I've ever received. Fernando freaking kissed me? For a moment I didn't get myself and I was so astounded, but when I finally did realized this was real I kissed him back like my life depended on it. He pulled me closer to his chest and wrapped his arms around my waist and he kissed me passionately. I don't know if we were kissing each other the right way that people do since both of us has never done something like this before, but all I knew was that we were feeling each other by heart, body and soul. Our lips dance to the rhythm of our hearts for such a long time that I wished for us not to stop.

After couple of minutes, he broke the kiss and I glance away feeling so shy to look him in the eyes. "Someone is shy" he chuckles and I glance up at him. He was grinning widely and I felt my cheeks heat up. I covered my face in my palms and giggles into it. He held my hands and removed it from my face and he puts them down.

"This is really awkward" I said in almost a whisper and he smiled.

"It sure is, very awkward. In fact what I'm about to say right now is going to be more awkward" he said and cupped my face and I locked gaze with him again. What is he going to say now? Does he love me too? Has he changed his mind about ladies?

"Micaela, you walked into my life and softened my heart to accept ladies into my life. I have a very rough past regarding the female gender, I was raped on my 15th birthday and that unfortunate incident has been a scar in my heart that I grew up with. I've harboured resentment on the female gender and vowed not to ever like nor love them nor even embrace them except for business purposes. But then, you came along and confused me. You changed my thinking and even the vow I made without you realizing it. You came into my life and taught me how not to habour grudge on them anymore. You dived into my heart and choose to remain in there-" he paused and took my hand and placed it on his chest.

"Right here is where you are, I can't think straight, I can't even sleep well. All I see and dream about is you. Your smell is all I want to breathe. Your smile is all I want to see. I feel with you I can forget about my past completely. There's a reason fate brought us together, and now I know that reason and that is why i came back for you. I might not be that guy that buys you flowers or do some romantic things for you because I don't know how to do them neither am I use to them. But there's only one thing that is for certain. And that is....I love you, Micaela Alvarado".