Grave

Today Nicholai will be released from the hospital. After staying for a couple of days, the doctor said that he could already go home.

I took care of him for those days that he stayed in the hospital. I was having a hard time telling him about our baby’s grave.

I hadn’t gone to the hospital yet because I know that he was with his family now.

My hands were itching to contact him and told him about our baby’s grave. Maybe I would just meet him and take him right to our baby’s grave and tell him there.

I actually named our baby. I must be crazy for doing so, even if I didn’t know the baby’s gender. Since I wanted a baby girl, I named it Denierys. Denierys Acosta was the one imprinted on her tomb.

I was pacing back and forth inside my condo unit and doubting whether to call Nicholai. My flight leaving the country was tomorrow, and I didn’t have any time left. I’m only free today.

I sighed and sat down on the sofa. I took my phone out of my pocket and dialed Nicholai’s number. Just one ring, and he answered it immediately.

“Hi,” I said the moment he answered the call.

"You called," he replied on the other line. "Do you need something?"

"Have you been out of the hospital yet?" I asked while looking up at the ceiling.

“Yes. I’m actually in our old house right now. ” I frowned at what he said.

"What are you doing there?" I asked in astonishment. After what happened in that house, I didn’t want to ever step on that house anymore. Too much bad happened in that house.

“Nothing. I just missed those days when we were still okay while we were living in this house,” he said in a sad voice.

"Nicholai…”

“I know. I know. I’m just here to stop by it. I’m leaving in a few. ”

“Okay. Can we meet at Dreame Café? I have something important to say.”

“Sure. Are we going to meet now or later?” he asked on the other line.

“If it’s not too much, yes. Right now.”

“Of course, it’s not. I would love to see you.” I closed my eyes and massaged my temples.

“Great! I’m on my way. See you there,” I said as the call ended.

Since I had been dressed earlier wearing a blouse and tight pants, I just took my shoulder bag and then went out of the condo.

***

I arrived at the Dreame Café thirty minutes later. I parked my car in front of the café and then made my way out.

The smell of coffee greeted me immediately after I entered. There were only a few people, which made me feel at ease. I looked around and saw Nicholai sitting in the very corner of the café. He was wearing a simple black shirt and faded jeans. I immediately walked over to where he was and sat in the chair in front of him.

"I'm sorry if I keep you waiting," I said the moment I sat down.

“No. It’s fine. I don’t mind waiting for you,” he replied with a smile on his face.

Seeing Nicholai now was way different compared to when we were still married. There seemed to be something different about him, but I couldn’t point it out. However, his ruthless look was still there. There was something in him right now that made him look better. And I couldn’t help but feel relieved.

"Are you going somewhere today?" I asked while playing with my finger.

“No. Not in particular. Why?”

"I want to bring you somewhere," I replied while staring at him.

"Where?" he asked, looking kinda confused. Who wouldn’t be? We were not on good terms.

I gave him a weak smile before answering his question. "In the cemetery."

***

Nicholai was following my car on our way to the cemetery. Since we brought our car to the cafe, I suggested that we would go there separately. We also stopped briefly at a flower shop and bought flowers before heading to the cemetery.

I think he already had an idea why we were going to the cemetery. He didn’t ask me a while ago why we needed to go there. He immediately nodded and came with me without even a single question.

I parked my car in the parking lot of the cemetery and got out of my car. Nicholai followed and also parked next to my car.

I looked up and noticed that the sun was not showing up. The sky was shady as if foreshadowing a heavy rain. I ignored it and approached Nicholai.

"Let's go," I said and walked ahead of him first. He followed me again in silence. "Won't you ask what we are doing here?" I broke into the silence.

"Do you want me to ask?" he asked back. I did not answer him. Instead, I just kept walking until I stopped at a small tomb.

"D-Denierys Acosta?" he stuttered as his eyes shifted to me and the grave.

I gave him a sad smile and then kneeled to put the flowers in front of the grave. I also fixed the picture frame there. I put the picture of my ultrasound. It was her as a fetus.

“I made a name and a grave for our baby. I know I’m crazy for doing this. I just want you to know this before I leave the country. You deserved to know. After all, you are still the father,” I said one after another.

I was startled when I saw Nicholai suddenly kneeled in front of the grave. He was crying, and I could not help but cry too.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I didn’t protect you. You are my angel, and I love you so much,” he wept while hugging the picture frame.

He suddenly looked at me while tears were running down his face. His eyes were bloodshot as the tears kept on falling. It was the first time that he shed a tear after our baby died. And seeing the pain in his eyes made my heart hurt too.

“Let’s not blame each other anymore, Nicholai. She’s already in heaven. At peace. We must move on and accept that she’s already gone.” I was also crying while saying those words to him.

We stayed for a couple of minutes, weeping for our lost angel until I stood up and decided to leave because the sky was getting darker.

“Let’s go, Nic. I think it is going to rain,” I called him. He was still kneeling and hugging the picture frame.

I needed to pack my things because tomorrow was my flight.

He looked up at me and wiped his tears. “Can I stay for a bit? I want to spend more time with our angel. I leave immediately when it rains.” He smiled weakly, and I couldn’t help but sigh.

"Okay." I smile at him. “I’ll go ahead. Goodbye, Nicholai,” I said as I walked away. I was only a few steps away when I heard his voice.

“Cris,” Nicholai called my name that made me stop. I turned around and faced him.

"Thank you." He smiled. “Thank you for telling me about her grave. And take care. I hope you found your true happiness,” he said sincerely. I hugged him and smiled at him before finally leaving the cemetery.