Pissed
I had a week before leaving the country. So I decided that for my remaining days, I would take care of Nicholai.
I discussed it with my parents. They hated what I was going to do. They said I was no longer responsible for Nicholai. We were going to annul our marriage, so what was the point? ‘That was what they were trying to point out. And one more thing, they hated Nic for what he did to me. I couldn’t blame them. I was even mad at him. But I was tired. Because I was stubborn, I insisted on doing it without their permission. I wanted to do this because it was the only way for me to keep my sanity.
Carrying a basket of fruit, I pushed open the door of the room where Nicholai was staying at the hospital.
He got up immediately from the bed and stared at me in astonishment. He looked shocked.
I raised my right brow at him and walked towards the side table, and put the basket on it. I almost chuckled when I saw him blinking a couple of times while looking at me. He was like an idiot.
"You're here," he said incredulously.
“No. I’m not here,” I said sarcastically and snorted.
"Fuck!" he cursed all of a sudden
"Are you cursing me?" His eyes widened as he stared at me.
“W-What?! No!” He suddenly panicked. "I just couldn't believe that you are here again."
“I’ll leave then,” I said while turning away.
“No! Stay!” He panicked while grabbing my arm to stop me from leaving.
I was startled. I was looking at his hand on my arm. He released my arm immediately when he saw me looking at his hand.
“Sorry. Please stay. You said you would take care of me,” he said softly.
I sighed and sat on the chair beside his bed.
We were just silent. I was battling if I would tell him about what Cheni confessed before she got shot. Last night, I wondered if I would tell Nicholai that Cheni was the culprit for why our baby died. And if I also say to him that I made a grave for our deceased baby.
I wanted to tell him because I knew that he deserved to know it. After all, he was still the father of my unborn child.
I sighed deeply and broke the silence.
“I want to say something. But it is still up to you if you will believe what I am about to say. ” I looked him seriously in the eye. It hurt me to talk about what happened, but I still wanted him to know the truth. If he wouldn’t believe what I say. It was up to him. At least, I told him the truth. If he wouldn’t believe me, it wasn’t my fault.
Suddenly his forehead furrowed, and he also looked me in the eye. "What is it?" he uttered curiously.
I took a deep breath. I still couldn’t accept that we lost our baby so easily. I clasped my hand together and tried not to cry in front of him.
"I know you didn't believe me then when I said it was an accident and I didn't plan it—-"
"Stop," he cut me off. I saw how he clenched his fist and looked at me with regret. “It was my fault. I did not believe you, and I am really sorry because of that. I was too carried away by Cheni’s words. She told me that you were cheating on me with Philip. I regret that I never believed in you. I was blinded by my jealousy, and Cheni took advantage of that. ”
"You believe in her more than me." I smiled bitterly at him. “But you are right, though. It was not really an accident. It was Cheni’s doing. She hired someone to kill our baby and me. But unfortunately, I was alive, and only our baby died. ”
“W-what? Fuck! So all along, it was her fault?! Damn her! I will make sure that she will rot in jail!” he growled.
"She's already dead, Nicholai."
"She's fucking what?" he asked in disbelief.
"She's already in hell."
***
Nicholai and I ended our conversation earlier because the doctor suddenly came with the nurses. I thought his doctor was new because she was different from the doctor I saw when I first came here. It was a male doctor last time, but now it was a female doctor.
I haven’t told Nicholai about our baby’s grave yet. I wanted him to know where it was buried before I left the country. I would tell him later after his check-up with the doctor.
I raised my brow when I saw the two nurses giggling silently at the back of the doctor while looking at Nicholai. I was sitting on the couch while just looking at them.
Nicholai was just wearing a hospital gown, but it didn’t make him less attractive. I couldn’t blame them. Anything he wore, he was still handsome in their eyes.
I snorted when I saw Nicholai smiling at the doctor in front of him. The female doctor giggled and even slapped his arm. I didn’t know why I was suddenly annoyed. I stared at nowhere and just picked up a magazine and tried to amuse myself. A few more minutes passed before I heard the doctor say goodbye, and the door opened and closed.
"Hey!" Nicholai called me, but I ignored him.
“Cris? Seriously? I know you can hear me,” he kept on calling me.
I dropped the magazine and annoyingly turned to him. "Oh?" I answered wearily.
"I believe we weren't done talking a while ago," he said and then suddenly frowned as he stared at me. “You look pissed. What’s wrong?”
I pursed my lips. "I'm not pissed," I lied.
Fuck! Why am I pissed? I didn’t even know why.
"Your face said otherwise," he said while raising his brow.
"I said I am not!"
“Woah! Fine. Fine! You are not. Just come here and peel me some apples.”
"I'm sorry?" I jolted up by what he just said. This asshole! Very demanding indeed.
“You said you would take care of me. I want to eat apples. So peel one for me.” He smirked.
I glared at him and strode closer to him. I sat down next to him and picked up an apple, and started peeling it.
"You don't look pissed, huh," he said sarcastically.
"Just shut up!" I said as I put the peeled apple that I cut in his mouth.
I heard him chuckle. So I turned my gaze at him. I saw him smiling sadly at me.
“I miss this. I missed those times when we were okay. But I fuck it up. I fuck up big time. ”












