Conflicted Heart

Chapter 7

LUCIA LORENZO'S POV

Every she-wolf longs for the moment when she will meet her mate's gaze and smell his divine aroma. I was never drawn to the idea, not even as a child. I wasn't in need of or wanted a man. I mean, it makes sense that I would feel exactly the same as I did all those years ago.

"False."

I didn't think I would feel the need to be with him all the time.

My wolf hasn't stopped talking about him, and he hasn't stopped putting dubious pictures in my head. One thing I do know about Blaine de Lombardi, despite his unique nature, is that he is not a suitable partner. There is nothing that I can imagine changing about him—he's a fun guy who likes attention from women. He truly is a sponge; he absorbs all attention offered and then expects more. He was not the same person when he was with my sister, but I did not see him wanting to commit himself fully to a lifelong relationship after being betrayed. I wouldn't blame him; in fact, I would probably act in the same way.

The mate thing isn't for me, in any case.

I have dreams and goals of my own that I must fulfill. Although she is nothing without the alpha, everyone in the pack treats Luna as though she is significant. If she wasn't mated to the leader, no wolf would give her more than one glance. Yes, there are alpha females in the world, but those she-wolves are fierce and could take down a male in just three short moments. They also terrify people to such an extent that nobody will speak up because of them.

The mother of the pack with a tender heart is Luna. She maintains the pack's unity and checks the alpha. I'm not about to coddle these grown-up wolves—I don't know about the others.

Because I am Blaine's mate, I don't want my pack to honor me or treat me like the best gold. Because of who I am, Lucia Lorenzo, I want their respect. Not Blaine's mate, not Luna, nor Lucia De Lombardi.

Because of all the competitions I participate in, the things I do for this pack, and the things the Lorenzo family has been doing for the wolves since the beginning, I already have the respect of the majority of the pack. To get my respect, you do not need to be my partner. I already possess it.

It seems like there are a lot of justifications to me.

What, Ava? It was not because of her partner that Luna Kharis was revered, but rather because of who she was. We are moon-worshiping beings. Being the Luna, the alpha female of a pack, is the highest honor.

Thankfully, Anthony interrupted my talk with Ava.

"Lucia! Why are you still in this place? Anthony said, "Training ended an hour ago," behind me.

"Just thinking; I'll be in for lunch soon."

"Please don't make me wait," he winks.

I grin artificially, then spin around and keep staring into Tahoe's immense forest. I look and see an endless green, and then, out of the corner of my sight, I spot a bird. The Tanager of the West. Although I love being a wolf, there are moments when I wish I was a bird just to experience the wind in my sails, and perhaps even the one thing I've been longing for, liberty.

However, I'm a bird in a cage, not a bird in the wild.

A wolf that is the bond's slave. Because when my eyes meet his, my heart will always beat quicker, no matter how hard I try. If I merely glance at my wolf, he will always howl with longing and shocks that reach the deepest part of me.

I am a slave, and I cannot escape it.

I became a slave to something that existed before I was born.

I was a slave to something that was engraved in me, carved in the stars, and embedded in time.

I don't know what I was anticipating when I entered the dining hall, but this was not it. My beautiful sister curls up on my "mate"'s lap. Her eyes are beaming with excitement, and her face is glowing with contentment. She doesn't know, so I can't hold it against her. After everything she's been through, she deserves to be happy. Even still, I ignore it since I can still feel my jealousy slowly simmering.

I looked the same as every other member of my group. Doubt. They split up two seconds ago, right?

He refuses to even give me a look. All of his attention was fixed on her.

His eyes finally leave Mirabel's face, and he gives me a look before giving me that sinister grin. Whether he's playing a practical joke on us kids or winning a training session, Blaine always has the same expression on his face. Although he may believe he is winning, he is not.

It has always infuriated me.

Sweetie, whatever you're doing, I can do it better. Tsk-tsk.

I move to the chair that is right across from his. I smile at him, my lips curving into a smirk. His broad eyebrow was arching in inquiry.

"Hey, Anabel, can I get a piece of your pie?"

"Lucia, of course! Try some, please, sweetie."

A kind woman from Pakistan, Anabel had come from a pack. After the Soviet-Afghan War destroyed their land, Alpha Gilbert's father took her and her family in. Her pie is a local specialty, and she cooks the tastiest meals nearby.

I sliced through the filling and crust of the pie with my fork. I moistened my lips and curled them around the fork, meeting Blaine's gaze. I rolled my eyes back and groaned.

"Huh! This is incredible, Anabel."

"Thank you, dear; it's a new recipe."

"Mhm, and it's so creamy,"

I wish my phone was here so I could capture this exact moment. I could smell Blaine's excitement from here, and his face was flushed. Golden light emanated from his eyes as his fingertips clenched the table tightly.

Though it was all for me, Mirabel grinned, thinking Blaine was starting to get difficult for her. I grinned at them and pushed my chair back.

"That was great, Anabel; thank you."

"Oh, of course, dear, anything for you."

"Please excuse me; I must get going."

I smirked and flipped my hair as I left with my head held high.