CHAPTER 15

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"How did you know that I'm in a club?"

I asked Keegan curiously while my head rested on his shoulder. We are currently inside a taxi right now. This question has been stuck in my brain for a while now. As much as we talked, I forgot the question of why he knew I was there at Asher's Club.

Why just so suddenly he appeared. It never occurred to me that he would come to the club with me just to talk. He is not the type who likes to go to that place. He's an introvert. So how did he know that I'm in that club? Who told him?

He's like a lost boy earlier when he approached and pulled me away from the crowd. He's even wearing his uniform from his work. I would really think that he was missing earlier if I didn't know him.

So now that it came to my mind again. I didn't waste time but to ask him the question that I wanted so badly to hear an answer from him. Because it's always bugging in my head. I just can't let it slip away.

Keegan uncomfortably shifted on his seat making my brows furrowed. He parted his lips to utter some words but he closed it again. I looked up at him and looked at him curiously. Looking for an answer because I really want to know why he went to that club.

Keegan bit his lower lip and let out a sigh.

"Someone came up to me while I was working and told me that he saw you entering a club. At first I didn't believe it, because I didn't know him... he just asked me if I knew you. I didn't confirm to him that I know you, I was careful. And I know what he's saying is vague because I know you're just busy studying. that's why you don't answer my texts." I listened to him carefully.

"I continued to work even though there was a part of me that convinced me that you might be there... but I still didn't fully believe it."

“But I was surprised when I received a photo. I can clearly see that it's you and you're in a club." he shut his mouth and looked away

I sighed as I held his hand tighter.

"I'm sorry..." I softly mumbled.

He shook his head immediately "You don't need to apologize, I understand. I don't control your movements. and I know even more that you don't need to tell me where you go and where you go. I just want to know from at least one message from you, that you are fine. I want to be reassured. That's enough for me...” he said gently that made me pout my lips.

Why do I want him to control me so much? I want him to order me.. what he wants me to do. I laughed at the thought. Don't I want to be the one who has more control over him? Why now I feel like I just want to offer and leave myself to him.

"I'm happy for you."

My eyes found his gray eyes smiling at me. I frowned because of what he said. Why is he happy for me?

"Why?" I asked confused

"Because you already have a friend. And I don't even think that it's Villia.” I could feel the happiness in his voice so I smiled too.

I'm happy too. It is not difficult to love and be friends with Villia. She's a type of girl who's very positive and has a bubbly personality. he is kind and smart. I feel that he has everything.

"Do you think he's okay? We can't find him inside the club. I'm worried about what might have happened to him."

Guilt spread in my whole system because I can't find Villia and I suddenly forgot her just because of Keegan is with me! because since Keegan and I talked outside, my friend disappeared from my mind... I just noticed that I had a friend and I couldn't catch him when I was too busy.

We went around all the corners of the club but we didn't catch a single shadow of my friend. i thought she came back after she's done using the comfort room. But why wasn't he at our table when I went back inside? Keegan and I talked for an hour. It's impossible for him to go out alone, right? But it's possible Angel!

You couldn't think of anything but Keegan!

I already asked the girls on the other table near us if they saw my Villia. But I lost hope when they both said they didn't see it. Because they said we disappeared at the same time.

Villia where the fuck are you? just make sure that you're safe because if you don't you'll really be hidden from me. This is also one of the reasons why I dislike so much to have a friend or to have a person, be close to me.

Because once I let them in, in my life. I will treat them more like my family.

"I can't say that he is okay. But I hope he's okay, so you can be reassured."

"I hope so... I don't want something bad to happen to her. I don't want her to be hurt." I whispered lowly

I lifted my head to look up at Keegan who's currently looking at me. I can see how his gray eyes twinkled and I saw pride inside.

My lips pursed as I wrapped both arms around Keegan's waist and pressed myself closer to him. i can feel my heart in tranquility right now but i can also feel how it thumps so loudly inside my chest. My face is burning so much that I think it will explode anytime soon.

"We're here at your house," Keegan whispered on my ears making me blink my eyes. Why is the flight so fast? I still want to be with Keegan.

But when I thought that he was tired because he had just come from work, I suddenly felt ashamed. It's morning and he hasn't had any sleep or rest yet. He studied and worked after. I'm too thick to not let him rest.

Even though I don't want us to be apart again, I have no choice but to go home. I don't care if Mommy and Daddy scold me now. Just being with Keegan makes me so happy.

Keegan went out and I immediately followed. he carefully supported me out because my world seemed to be spinning again. I held on his shoulder after I finally got out. He gently held my waist in a gentle way. The taxi was just ahead because he was going to take another ride to his apartment.

Keegan looked up at our big house. I saw how he swallowed and the sadness that passed through his eyes did not escape my eyes. He looked into my eyes so I smiled sweetly at him.

I caressed his hair above his nape as we stared at each others eyes. I saw how he watched my face intently like he's memorizing every part of my face.

"Come in, maybe your parents were looking for you earlier. Scold you more. you still smell like alcohol." he said softly causing my heart to soften.

I don't want to go home yet. I want to spend more time with him. But I know it's so selfish if I'll ask him to spend more time with me. He has a life to live with and I also have mine. but my life is so boring without a glimpse of him.

I pressed my lips on his lips as a bid of goodbye. I watched as the taxi shrunk and disappeared from my sight. With a heavy heart and a heavy feet I decided to go inside. I slowly locked the small gate without creating any noise.

Our house is so silent that I can hear a cricket. Hmm. Maybe everyone in the house is asleep. I went to the kitchen to get some water. My brows furrowed when I saw the lights on. Is someone still awake? It's already three in the morning. Was it Dad? or Mom? Maybe only Manang.

"Glad to see you, still going home."

I held my chest when I felt my heart leapt a bit after I heard that familiar voice. What the– I almost got a heart attack! Damn it! I glared at Naurica as she was sipping on the glass of cold water she was holding. I can see her smile from here.

Why is she here? Don't they have a house?

"Done partying?" she raised her right eyebrow while asking me.

I didn't answer him and quickly walked to get a glass. I immediately poured cold water. I closed my eyes as I felt the cold water dripping down my throat. after I felt contended. I immediately washed the glass and turned it back to the drawer. I can feel the burning of stares on my back making me sigh.

“Where's Mom and Dad?” I asked as I turned to face her.

She's brushing her hair while intently looking at me.

"Don't worry I won't tell a word to Tita and Tito that their Angel is partying 'til dawn. Without even asking permission to them. I heard that you didn't even come home to your house."

I can feel the play in his voice. I don't want to be irritated at her but I can't help it!

My lips curve up for a smirk “I'm asking where they are. I didn't ask you to shut your mouth to cover up that I had a party. I can talk to them on my own so I don't need your help." my voice tauntingly muttered those words.

I saw an irritation in her eyes making me feel satisfied. he got ready and slowly walked to my place. I also made arrangements with us because I could feel the tension between us. I can see her eyes burning in irritation.

Why do we always answer? Is there really no hope for us to greet each other? I don't want to be rude to her 'cause she's my cousin! But she's not treating me nicely! So, I don't have a choice but to treat her the way she treats me. I said sorry many times. If she doesn't want to forgive me then... I don't want to force it.

Mommy didn't give birth to me to please people. If I don't want it, why should I force myself? It's like they're missing from my life.

Naurica stopped in front of me. She stared at my eyes. I stared at her too. She glared at me. I glared at her too.

"You know what, until now... you're still the same." How many times has he said this? I've memorized it okay? I'm still the old Angel and I haven't changed!

"I can't fucking wait to watch you feel the excruciating pain. I can't fucking wait for your downfall. how I wish someone will hurt you for you to feel that it's not easy to be hurt and break into pieces.”

I didn't blink while listing the words she said. Hmm... Mommy... I think I already met the type of person you're always telling me when I was still a kid. Yes, blood is thicker than water. but it doesn't mean they can't hurt you. There is something else they are asking for and waiting for you to crush. They wish for your downfall. And they themselves will be the first to laugh when you get hurt.

Even a family can hurt you. don't expect that they're good to you because you have the same blood running in your veins.

"I'll wait for that day then..." I said smirking to mask up the nervousness I felt.

Because right now. I can feel her words cutting my skin slowly making it bleed. I feel like her words are like a curse. If the day comes that I will be crushed. I will try to fix the broken ones. If I get hurt all over. I will just think that all diseases can disappear and heal.

Me being positive is not helping at all. What Naurica said just stung my skin even more. I know my karma is still hunting me down. I just don't know when it will come. I know I don't have the right to pray this... but maybe, he can hear my silent prayer from here.

Please, if my karma will finally hunt me for me to repay all the things I did wrong back then. To those people I've hurt. Please, please... I'm begging to spare the two persons that's so important to me right now. I can't afford one of them to be hurt.

I know I can't avoid my karma. But I hope no one else feels sorry. I want to suffer alone because when I decided to hurt someone, I did it alone. So I won't be surprised if my karma comes. I'm just waiting for him to come. But the question is, when?

"WILL you stop it?" I said irritated to Villia. I remained my poker face while writing down some notes.

Another poke on my cheek. My head snapped to Willia. She made a puppy eyes making me roll my eyes. I'm irritated with him! he still has the will to be happy while I almost went crazy looking for him the other day. Then yesterday he didn't come in.

She didn't even text me. Even once! For me to know that she's fucking okay! suddenly appears like a bubble as if no one cares about him.

"Please Angel, forgive me. I'm so sorry. Sorry if I made you worry. Promise, it won't happen again." she said while beaming cutely at me.

Her eyes twinkled when she looked at my eyes. My eyes widened when I saw her crying! What the heck?! What did I do? I panicked when I heard her sniffing. She bowed her head to avoid my gaze.

"What the heck Devil! Why are you crying? Come on, I forgive you." I whispered softly to him. He was still sobbing while bending down.

I massaged my nose as I roamed my eyes around our room. I can see my Professor back in here. He's busy writing on the white board. Oh my goodness Devillia Rèmy! If we get angry now, you will be angry with me again.

"Can you stop crying," I hissed at her softly but I was more problematic when her cries got a bit louder!

Good thing we couldn't hear too much in the front because we were in the very back. I put my notebook and my pen inside my bag. I pulled Willia's chair closer to mine. I caressed her back gently to console her. Why is he crying when I didn't fight him! I just ignored him because I had a slight grudge against him. And this feeling is new to me.

"Hush now, I'm not really mad at you. I'll pay attention to you later when I lose my temper. Stop crying.”

Slowly she lifted her head to look at me. I quickly wiped the tears away from his cheeks. She was pouting her lips cutely making me to hold back my laugh. Why the hell she's being cute right now.

"I'm still your friend, right?" she asked with her hopeful voice.

I nodded my head and smiled at her. Of course, you're still my friend.

"Of course. Do you want it no more? You just leave it alone." I joked making her sniff again.

"I said I'm sorry, right? Please forgive me. I don't want to lose a friend like you. I don't want to lose a pretty friend." my eyes widened in horror at her remark!

"So, you befriend me because I'm pretty?" I asked feeling so very offended

She then nodded her head without hesitation while smiling at me cutely.

"I find you so very pretty that's why I befriend you. Imagine if I had a friend like you. When I'm sad every day. I will just look at you and my problems will vanish immediately because of your pretty face." she giggled loudly making my eyes widen

I covered her mouth faster than I can. Why is she being like this?! She's acting like a kid right now! It's just gone for a day and it's like this! I massaged my temple because I felt so stressed right now!

"I love you my pretty friend." Willia whispered and kissed my cheeks. I stared at her softly.

Her nose is so red and her eyes are too puffy because of too much crying. I love you too my Devil friend.

"Let's buy ice cream outside!"

Villia excitedly pulled me upright. Confused, I put on my bag. she excitedly hooked her arms on mine as we strode towards the door.

My eyes nearly went out of their sockets when Keegan's face showed up. My heart just twirled in an instance after seeing his face. Why is he here?

"Oh my gosh Alister!"

Villia screamed when he saw Keegan too. He quickly let go of my arm and immediately joined Keegan. Even though I was still surprised by his presence, I approached the two of them.

"Angel, is Alister your boyfriend?" Villia asked curiously causing me to widen my eyes. I shook my head making her forehead creased in confusion. Luckily Keegan didn't hear her question.

I felt Keegan rub my fingers on my left hand causing me to look up at him.

“Do you want to come with me?” I asked softly

“Hmm... Where?”

"We will buy ice cream. That's the only place outside you want to go. I will pay.” Villia groin kindly

I smiled as Keegan nodded slowly.

I saw myself together with Keegan and Willia in front of the ice cream vendor.

"What flavor do you want?" I asked Keegan while looking at the three flavors of ice cream. Ube, mango and chocolate are the only choices.

"Mango," he whispered lowly in my ears enough for me to hear it.

"Two mango flavors, Manong."

Manong quickly gave the ice cream so I gave one to Keegan. I slowly lick the ice cream and the sweetness of the mango spread in my mouth.

I looked to my side when I heard Villia's soft sobs again.

"I'm not informed by my partner when I eat ice cream." she dramatically murmured while wiping her tears away.

I can already see how emotional he is today. Is she sick?

"Are you okay Vil?" Keegan asked Villia worriedly.

Villia nodded and laughed softly. She smiled at us but I can see an emptiness and longing in her eyes. While looking at her eyes I can feel that she has a problem.

"Do you have a problem?" I tried to ask her softly. I know she has a problem but I can feel it too that she's stopping herself from sharing it with me.

We are sitting on the bench today looking at the children playing in front of us. I held Villia's hand tightly to assure her that it's okay to cry.

I put her head on my shoulder and I gently caressed her cheeks.

"I'm sorry. I know you and Alister should be together now, but because of my drama, you didn't get together. I'm sorry.” I sighed because of what he said.

Keegan left suddenly because his boss suddenly called him. I don't want him to go but I don't have a choice. It's his work. And I also don't want to leave Villia while she's crying and so vulnerable. She needs someone right now. Someone who can bear her dramatic cries. someone who can be her crying shoulder.

I bit my lower lip as I played with her fingers.

"I can feel it. If it's too heavy please let it out. If you intend to keep your emotions alone it will only hurt you more. when you keep your emotions and problems alone, it doesn't mean you can keep it forever. There is no glass that cannot be filled with water. The water will overflow and overflow. The same with your emotions. If its already too much. You can't stop to let it show... without you even knowing... it will come out on its own even if you stop it.”

"And if you have a problem. You know that I'm here right? You're not alone. You can share it with me. We spent months getting to know each other. It maybe not that long compared to others friendship but I felt like we've been friends for a very long time. friendship cannot be measured by the length of time. In my opinion. I'm not forcing you to tell me your problems. I'm just here saying that you can lean on me. Anytime you want. I don't mind.”

Villia hug on my waist tightened. I also hugged her back to secure and shelter her in my arms.

"What if one day... you won't see me anymore." she blurted out of the blue making me still.

My stomach went cold after hearing it.

"You said you're my friend... Will you look for me? if one day I'll suddenly disappear.” my honey eyes found her deep black eyes.

Without hesitation I nodded to him. I saw how tears pooled in the corner of her eyes.

"What if I'll ask you... not to look for me. Will you do that?” my lips went in a thin line as I shook my head repeatedly. Hot tears started to pool in my eyes.

When her tears fell. I can't stop my tears from falling too.

"What if I ask you to run away with me. Will you come with me?” she asked that made my body stiff.

Villia suddenly let out chuckles and pulled herself away from our hug. She stood up while still chuckling.

"Silly me. Just don't mind my question. Because I know the answer in the first place. I don't want to share my problems with you because you don't deserve to think about my problems. I don't want to sympathize just because I have a problem. I can't let others suffer with me. When I can suffer alone. You're happy with your life while I'm not."

I can hear the bitterness in her voice. While looking at my friend. I saw that she's in pain right now. She won't ask those weird questions if she doesn't have problems. Does she have plans to leave?

My tears stream down like a water falls as I shouted my feelings to her. Because right now I felt so hurt knowing that she's planning on leaving me. Is this a sign of her goodbye? No... I won't let her.

"If you plan to leave, I will be hurt and I will be even more angry with you. What is this?! You entered my life. Even if I don't want you to let you in. I still let you. I tried so hard not to be attached in this word so called friendship. Because that word can easily be broken. Little anger, resentment, betrayal and so on. It's easy to break no matter how many years you build it."

"And here you are so desperate to be my friend. Then now? Look at you! Are you showing signs that you might leave one day? What will you leave me? You look like a fool!"

"You wanted to be part of my life. I didn't ask you to be part of me. You touched a soft part in me. I let myself be attached to you. And then what? You'll leave? Leave me just like this? Why can't you think of a solution to your problem? Will you just run away? do you think you will be happy?”

"I can't believe this." I whispered weakly while crying.

Villia's cry getting louder too. I saw how she held her chest like she's really in pain.

Can running away from your problems make you happy? can you be happy knowing that you left so many important people in your life behind? Will running away from everything and start a new life in another place is a better choice?

Yes, I love Willia. But she's asking me a favor that I can't even do. I want to help her and be with her through thick and thin because that's what a real friend does... but not when the choices are I had to leave my life behind. We still can think of another way of fixing her problems.

I can't let her do what she wants either. No, I don't want her to leave me. no one leaves.

"You. Stay. Devillia Rémy. Whether you like it or not. You're not going to leave me. You understand? I can't lose you. I can't lose a friend." I cried badly.

I hugged her very tightly while he was sitting.

"I love you, I will find a way to fix your problems okay? just please don't leave. Do not leave me." I begged as we cried our hearts out.