CHAPTER 16

Not Good

"Put your things in your bag properly."

I watched as Villia put her things in her bag. I saw how lethargic she was while doing it. I saw dark circles under her eyes. She didn't seem to be sleeping well. I want to scold her because I think she's not sleeping properly. I noticed that she became thinner too. Her lips look so pale. It's like he's floating and seems like an idiot, he doesn't seem to be himself anymore so I'm worried too much.

She doesn't like this. the Villa I know is not like this. She's far from the girl I first met.

Her cold deep set of black eyes bore into my honey ones.

She bit her lower lip before taking a deep breath.

"Where are we going?" she asked curiously, brows meeting in the middle. but I can also feel her nervousness.

I want to roll my eyes at her. I want to be mad at her right now. But I was just holding myself back from exploding because I knew he was going through something. I need to be careful with my words. I don't want to hurt her when I felt like she carried too much right now on her back.

Tears started to form under my eyes while looking at her lifeless eyes. I caressed her cheeks softly making her lips tremble. before my tears started to flow, I quickly pulled him out of the classroom with caution. We have two more subjects this afternoon but I didn't think about that.

I'm worried about my friend than my grades right now. And she's more important to me right now.

"I won't come with you if you don't tell me where we are going," Villia tried to pull her wrist away from my hold but I didn't let her. I tightened my grip on him so he wouldn't let go.

I know she's stubborn but I'm more stubborn than her. You don't have a choice but to come with me Willia whether you like it or not.

"Get inside," I looked at her coldly as I opened the passenger seat.

Her angry eyes snapped at me. She crossed her arms above her chest. She looked at me then to my car.

"Why would I ride there? Your car? And how sure am I that you can drive safely?” he asked me flatly. My lips rose up for a smirk. This is the Villa I know. It's pretty straight... but I'm just more straight.

"I won't harm you if that's what you're thinking. so, can you please get inside now?”

She rolled her eyes at me then got inside. I hurriedly closed the passenger door and quickly went to the driver's seat. After I settled myself inside I tilted my head to Vilia. She looked around the car with admiration in her eyes.

"When did you buy it?" She asked curiously

"One month ago, I just used it today."

"You're really lucky, you get everything you want." she muttered

I looked at her eyes twinkling with joy. I don't see the jealousy there. Just pure amazement.

I leaned closer to her making her shift a bit on her seat.

"Seatbelt first," I whispered making her smile. I stared at his smile for a long time. Angel... she smiled. It's not fake. But something seems to be missing. That's not her usual smile right?

I sighed and looked at my friend. his lips pursed as he glared at me. Someone just pinched my heart while looking at her face. Where is my Devillia Rèmy?

I grabbed the comb from my bag before I faced her again. Her eyes widened while looking at me.

"What will you do?" she stuttered so amazed

I just gave her a hard time before I combed her slightly messy hair. He didn't even notice her hair. The Willia I know is so self conscious. She wants to look perfect in the eyes of judgmental people. What happened to her now? the Villia in front of me right now doesn't care how she looks. She doesn't care if her hair looks like a nest. She doesn't care if she looks like a zombie. Please bring my Willia back. I want her back.

"That's why they were looking at us earlier, I thought they were looking at you because they admire you. I'm wrong. They were looking at me because of my hair. It's embarrassing...” her voice broke even when she laughed a little bit.

I saw how her hands trembled. I held her hand and caressed it with so much care. You're not like this. You're better than this. My heart is hurting while looking at her.

I pulled her closer to me and hugged her so tight. Her soft cries showed up when she hugged me back. I'm crying because of my friend's situation but I don't want to show him that we are both weak. I don't want to show him that he has no one to lean on because I am also weak. I want to be strong for her.

I cupped her cheeks and looked deeply into her eyes. I wiped away the tears falling from his cheeks. She smiled at me softly making me smile too.

I kissed her both cheeks and her forehead making her jaw drop. She looked at me in shock after what I did. I smiled softly at him. I know you're strong. you can get through this.

"We can get through this okay? Just don't give up. I'm always here for you." I whispered so determined to assure her that I won't leave her behind. That I will hold her hand at times like this. That I won't just leave him because I love him.

She can be weak for all she wants. I'm here. I will never leave him even if he is weak in front of me.

God give me Villia for me to realize that I'm not selfish as I think I am. That I also have a heart. Because if I don't have. Why would I care for her anyway? if I was the old Angel Kate Francisco, the immature one. I would surely dump William right now. Because the old me doesn't like burdens. I don't need someone who is just a burden in my life. I'll immediately cut them off in my life, like they don't exist to me ever. I will erase the memories I've shared with them. I'll treat them like they're kind of trash. That after if it is useful, when there is no use. They are immediately thrown in the trash because that's where they belong.

That's how selfish I am. I don't care about anyone's feelings. I only cared about mine.

But in my state right now. I'm so afraid. So, fucking scared. Maybe if I don't look at her, she will disappear immediately. That maybe if I didn't hold her tightly, she would just slip out of my grasp. I am afraid that one day I will suddenly lose my friend. And I won't let that happen. Not when I have the power to save our friendship. It's okay if I'm the one who's holding on to the thin line of our friendship as long as she's with me. I can help her...

I won't lose her okay? She's going to stick with me forever. she's the only friend that I've got. She's the only friend that I want in this lifetime. He can't be lost. He can't leave me. I haven't introduced him to Mommy and Daddy yet. I wiped a single tear from my cheek before taking a deep breath. as my car stopped I heard the panicked reaction of my friend.

"Why are we here? Are you sick Angel? Why didn't you tell me?” she shook my shoulder.

I unbuckled my seatbelt and she did the same. I'm not sick. I'm so healthy as fuck. And even more we are not here for you. We're here because of you...

I got out of the car and quickly turned around to the passenger seat.

"Get out," I ordered Villia who immediately obeyed. She looked at me with concern in her eyes. Don't look at me like that. Maybe when you find out why we came here, you might suddenly run away from this place.

I'm not naive to not know what's happening to her. There are so many signs that I clearly saw. I've tried so hard not to force her to tell me, what's happening to her. I want him to admit it himself. I want him to tell me the truth because he trusts me. But I guess she just won't open her mouth to tell me the truth.

I want the truth. I want to push her to her limits so that she will spill her secret to me. to think it honestly, it's not a secret anymore. I have eyes and I have a brain that can function well. I'm not stupid enough not to know what his condition is.

The way she vomited after she smelled my perfume was the first sign. She loves my perfume so much. she's always so close to me every time and sniffed me all day because she loves my smell. But why just so suddenly she hated my perfume. Sometimes she tries to get away from me because of it. I thought she's mad at me but it's not. She has other reasons.

One sign that I've noticed about her is that. She always craves for an ice cream. Even early in the morning! Not a day goes by that I don't see her not eating ice cream and that's not the normal Villia I know.

Does she really think that I'm that brainless to not notice her every actions?

"We're here because I want you to get a check up," I trailed slowly while looking intently at her reaction.

Not seconds later I saw how her eyes widened a bit. Nervousness flashed in her black eyes. Why are you nervous? But the nervousness in his eyes didn't last long because he immediately replaced it with surprise. She's really so good at this. Creating so many emotions just to mask up her true feelings.

"Huh? Why should I get check up? Look, I'm not sick okay?" her voice shaking a bit.

The panicky is clearly written on her face even though she's trying to deny it.

I pursed my lips and looked intently at her eyes then down to her stomach. I raised my brow at her and smirked.

"Maybe there's nothing wrong with getting checked up? I just want to make sure you're okay...”

“I'm definitely fine! I'm not sick! Why are you insisting that I'm sick?!” her voice trembled. The tone of her voice also rose so I knew she was afraid of something.

I looked closely at her trembling hand. Why don't you want to admit the truth to me? I will not judge you!

"Do you really have no intention of admitting to me what your condition is? Do I need to force you? Don't you trust me?" It was bitter when he was asked, causing her eyes to widen.

She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out of her lips. When my tears fell because of frustration, I also saw how her tears came out. What are we going to cry in here?

"Let's get inside," I said coldly while wiping away my tears.

Villia shook her head, her eyes scared as she looked at me.

"Yes! Whatever you're thinking right now. You're right! You think that I'm pregnant right? Then, it's a yes Angel! I am pregnant!” Villia shouted making my lips parted. I froze in my place as I looked at him crying in front of me.

Why am I still surprised? Isn't this really what I'm thinking? But why am I still surprised? Maybe because I just can't believe it? How come right? she never once told me that she likes a man or if she has a boyfriend. Maybe I'm just shocked to know that she's pregnant when I can't recall she has a man in her life.

At first I was trying to get it out of my mind that my friend might be pregnant. I don't know much about her life and she's the same about me. But we have complete trust in each other. We don't open up to each other that much when it comes to our personal life and problems. Maybe that's why she couldn't tell him that she was pregnant.

"I do not know what to do. i'm too young I don't know how I will raise my child. I don't have a family. I am alone in life. I can't think properly right now.”

I gasped when I saw how my friend weakened in front of me. I tried to fix myself from the shock and immediately attended to my friend. I hugged her tightly as we both cried.

I want to ask her a lot of questions. Where is the man who got her pregnant? Why didn't I even see him even once?

"Shh... It's okay... I'm here. I'll help you hmm... I won't leave you alone. Just trust me. Tell me what's on your mind. Tell me what you feel. I am ready to listen to you. I will not judge you.”

Villia's hug tightened as she sobbed.

“I'm scared. I am afraid of things that are coming and may happen. I don't know if I can handle the pressure. But I'm trying to make the right decision for my son's sake. I wanted so bad to run away... from you. Because I'm too ashamed to face you... I flirt. If I hadn't forced myself on him and used my brain, nothing would have happened. Why am I so stupid when it comes to him?"

I opened my ears wildly to welcome her words. Hearing her right now makes me want to get mad at the man who made her pregnant. I knew Villia was smart but I never thought it would come to this point. That she will get pregnant and it seems that the man is not responsible for her yet. Because if he's responsible one, my friend will not be like this. Why do some men just throw us women away like we're kind some of trash? I'm upset because I witnessed my friend's condition today. Weak and nearing the point of giving up.

Does she want to leave because of this? She wants to leave everyone who has been important to her because she's ashamed? I don't know what to say to her. Should I tell her that she's not using her brain? Is the saying really true that when you are smart when it comes to love you become stupid?

We can all love and be tempted. We are all flirtatious in different ways. Yes I admit. I'm a curious girl. I'm not a saint. I want to explore and feel what pleasure feels like. Because the more I watch the more I get curious. But it never occurred to me to get pregnant early just because I love the man so much.

But I won't talk about it because I'm not sure if I won't think about it when the time comes. Yes, I love Keegan. But I didn't even think to get pregnant. Being a mother is another serious responsibility. And being a mother while still studying and being a teenager is not a joke. We shouldn't normalize this thing.

I understand why Villia is so afraid. She's so afraid for so many things. So what she thinks now is to run away to avoid embarrassment. But this does not mean that her problem will disappear. Running away means you're being a coward. But I'm not in her feet to judge her decisions. I want to be with her so that I can guide her. I don't know much but I will help him. We will work together.

I still can't believe that my friend is going to be a mother! I know it's not easy. But I promise to be on her side whatever happens. She only has me.

"Does the father of the baby know that you're pregnant?" I asked her curiously with my softest voice.

Devillia shook her head like a good kitten. Her nose was red and her eyes were swollen as she just looked straight ahead. Here we are again inside the car. My car was parked near the park where we cried last time.

I gritted my teeth in annoyance at her response.

"Is the child's father the same age as us? Or older than us? Where does he study? What is his name?” I asked one after the other causing him to look back at me.

She looked at me and smiled painfully.

"I'm tired. Can we stop talking about him? He doesn't care about me anyway. he didn't even want to see me. He always pushed me away... but I keep on coming back like a good dog even if he doesn't like my presence. He's so disgusted with me. I'm the only one trying to fit into his life even though I don't have a place anymore. This is my fault. I made a fool of myself and made him crazy. Maybe it's right... If he doesn't want me. Then, maybe it's time for me to wake up from this shit and craziness."

"But this angel inside of me... will always be my reminder that I really love him. And I'm so crazy about him. I gave myself to him many times and I didn't regret a thing. Maybe I'm not the only one for him. It's just funny because even though I know he's hard to reach. I still forced myself to look up at him and not get tired just so he would notice. hoping that he will love someone like me. So dramatic and funny isn't it?” she laughed without humor as she wiped her tears away

My eyes softened while looking at her. I don't know what to say. I'm not good at giving advice. I'm not good at comforting anyone except for myself. I'm afraid to spill some words... because it might hurt her. We have different kinds of pain. And sometimes the only medicine to our pain are those persons who hurt us. We believe that we can fix our broken self, that we can heal our own pain. But not all are like this. Sometimes you need that person to fix you. Fix the broken pieces slowly but surely until the pain is not that deep anymore.

I held Villia's hand tightly as I was helping her dry her tears. Is it really like this when pregnant? Getting too emotional? Just one touch will make you cry immediately.

"Please remember that I'm always here for you. You can get through this. We can get through this. I'll help you raise your baby. I'll be with you every step of the way. I know it's going to be hard especially for you but please don't give up hmm... You can handle it because I know you are strong. you're my warrior. You should fight. We should fight. That jerk doesn't deserve someone like you. You deserve more than you know Devillia. If I can give you the world that you and your baby deserve... I will do it. You're too precious to me."

I groaned when Vilia cried harder again this time. I'm not a sweet kind of person but I felt like I'm slowly becoming one. What the heck is happening to me?

"Shhh stop crying..." I whispered while kissing her eyelids. I cried when she suddenly buried her face on crook of my neck.

"I can't still believe that the girl I always admired. The girl I dreamed of noticing me and hopefully becoming my friend is within my reach. i can't believe she will love me like this. I'm so proud of myself because I chose the right person when it comes to finding a soulmate huh? I don't think if I deserve someone like you. But... thank you for staying Angel. Thank you for being my crying shoulder and for being my tissue. I don't know what to do if you're not here."

I tightened our hug. Thank you also for loving all my flaws. For being a real friend to me. I can't forget how good you are to me way back. You're the person even if I don't pay attention whenever I need something you're always there to give me even if I don't ask. Even if I'm not nice towards you, you always see the good in me. I promise to love you forever. I will not replace you.

I thought I could finally breathe and relax a bit after a day of crying. I felt so drained today. But it's not over yet. My knees went weak while holding my cellphone. My hands were shaking violently while my eyes stung a bit. I parted my lips so that I could grasp for air because right now I felt like suffocated.

The video played making my knees finally give up. I bit my lower lip and tried so hard not to make a crying sound while watching the video. Who the fuck sent me this?! i've watched so many p*rn videos but this is fucking different!

It's not true, is it? Maybe just edited? It's so impossible. This is not my Keegan in the video! It's not him! Please someone tell me it's not him!

I sobbed harder when I saw the face of a man who was very familiar to me. When the camera zoomed in on his face I knew who he was. That Jacen guy! What is this? What's happening? Why is there something like this? What the hell!!! I want to scream and curse. I feel dizzy while watching the video.

Don't tell me this video spread like a wildfire? Did it spread in the school? Not allowed! That's not Keegan! He can't do such a thing! But how can you explain this Angel? You see it in your own two fucking eyes that guy! That guy who likes Keegan! Fuck it. Fuck this. Fuck this dummy account!

I insisted on calling the dummy account that sent me the video. I just ignored my face full of tears. I drove faster than I can to where Keegan's working. Please tell me it's an edited.

"Answer my call damn it! why are you playing like this?! It's not even funny you fucker!” I shouted angrily while driving. I want to bang my head against the wall now.

I couldn't stop the sobs that came out of my mouth when what I saw in the video entered my brain again. jacen is expertly sucking Keegan nipples that made my head spin... and the worst part is... Keegan and Jacen aren't the only ones in the video! There are three of them!

A girl I don't know who the bitch she is was busy caressing my man's body. I saw how she licked and nipped his skin in a very malicious way. while Jacen is sucking his nipples like a fucking hungry bastard!

I can feel my heart being crumpled because of that video. It's like slapping me right in the face that the man I love is not innocent. That he can actually do that thing with different people. But no... I know him. I know my Alister. He doesn't like that. He's innocent. Is that just a scam? For what? To hurt me? And who is going to send it to me using a dummy account?!

My system is very angry right now. I cried a lot today. I'm not a crying person, but is it really one to crash? I can't fucking believe that I can actually cry like this.

I slammed the driver's seat door shut and angrily pushed away the tears that were falling on their own. I don't want to cry for fuck's sake! I don't want to believe that video if I still don't hear Keegan's explanation.

The corner of my eyes warmed when I saw Jacen working peacefully and normally. How can he...

He delivered an order outside. He looked up and immediately met my eyes. I saw how he fixes us. I don't need to rush and drag him just to talk because he willingly came to me. I fisted my hand as I watched him walk towards my direction calmly but I can't see any emotion in his eyes.

I walked on the dark side. I heard him follow me. I stopped and immediately faced him. My palm immediately flew to his cheeks. I felt the heat and strength when I was slapped.

"What the fuck is that video all about?! Answer!" I shouted at him. Jacen looked at me while smiling tauntingly. I slapped him again four times on both cheeks causing his smile to disappear. I can't fucking control my anger right now! The evil side of me is showing inevitably. Why does he still feel like smiling at my situation now?! What if the video goes viral? and who is the mastermind of it all?

"Are you the one who sent me the video? Don't you like Keegan? Do you want to destroy us both? Are you that desperate?! What did you answer!” I pulled his collar in annoyance and looked at him sternly

“Why don't you ask yourself? you will destroy him. Because of you he will be destroyed. He has no sin but he shares your sins. I don't like what happened in the video. No one likes that. Yes, I admit I like Alister, not in a friendly way. But I will not come to the point where I will force him. he is stuck because of your sins. I don't have a choice but to do the right thing I know just to help him. Because if not you will see even worse if I am not the one with him there."

That my brain was blank while listening to him. I don't understand a single one! because of me? Will Keegan be destroyed because of this? Keegan is the one catching the anger that should be mine?

"Then who the fuck sent me that fucking video?!" I'm sorry Keegan. I'm so sorry. I thought I could do something like this but I tried not to believe it. She's my family right? Are you really so angry with me that you can't forgive me?

What I did to her before, she does back it in a different way. She hurts me the way I hurt her. My tears fell when I remembered how her long time crush took a video of us kissing wildly. I didn't know that he took a video of us. I only found out because my cousin was very angry with me. I swear I didn't know about the video.

Is this what she wants to return to me? Did she pay Jacen and that one woman in the video just to hurt me? Is this my Karma? But if this is my karma why does anyone have to suffer? Keegan is innocent. Why is Naurica using him to hurt me?

Is it because he knows that I will be hurt too much if he uses Keegan? Keegan I'm so sorry. It's all my fault.

"Your cousin." Jacen's answer brought me back to my senses.

Even if he doesn't say it, I know. My cousin is the only one who hates me too much. It's like she vomits me every time she sees me. What should I do to make her forgive me? Why does she have to empathize with the man I love so much?

“Where's Keegan?” I asked with my quivering voice.

"He didn't come in. I went to see him earlier, I can't see him on his apartment. I don't know if he already saw the video. But maybe now he already saw it, because your cousin's plan was to hurt you both. I know he will be angry with me. He became a good friend to me. But that's not how I see him. I also know that I have nothing to present to him and no matter what I explain, he might not understand me."

"If you have nothing good to do to him. I am begging you to let him go. He doesn't deserve to be played with and used like this."

My eyes snapped at him. How dare he say that to me? How dare them hurt my innocent Keegan like this?!! But there is a part of me that is hurt because of what he said. Because I know he has a point.

“Leave him alone. Because you're not good for him."