Impulsive

Virgínia

When I woke up the day after my parents left home, I was in my room, but even that familiar environment, in which I had lived all my life, seemed different.

It was not just that Murilo was in the same bed as me, sleeping next to my body, something totally e. I felt different and understood that the time had come to give in and try to make this work.

But it was so hard to trust someone like Murilo, who was a rich man, owner of companies, and full of commitments, with a family that must have been snobbish and who certainly wouldn't accept me among them. It was not only because I was not of the same social level as them, but also because of the way we had met and even more so if everyone found out that I got pregnant even though he had been careful and used a condom.

But even with all this constantly torturing me because my thoughts kept coming back to this same conflict, I still agreed to let Murilo sleep at my place, just because I was feeling strangely lonely. This was a new sensation, totally unknown to me because my parents had always been very present in my life and our union throughout my life was something undeniable.

Everything had changed and now that they had simply abandoned me in São Paulo, without at least a proper farewell to the family we had always been, I had to learn to manage on my own.

Murilo kept repeating that I wasn't alone and that I could count on him, but I preferred to take small steps at a time, and only with time would I be able to really see if this was reality or just words spoken from the mouth-to-mouth.

I felt a different movement behind my back, very light, but I immediately imagined that Murilo was waking up.

It was still early in the morning, but I was in the habit of waking up before six in the morning, something I had learned from my parents and could not stop doing even on weekends, and I imagined that he must also be a morning person.

" Good morning... " Murilo greeted me in a sleepy voice, speaking softly close to my ear.

He tightened his embrace even more around my waist, also pulling me closer to his body, and I felt a bulge forming right at the curve of my buttocks, which gave me a shiver of excitement, something totally out of the blue.

It made me so tense that I didn't even realize that I didn't respond to his greeting, concentrating on trying not to show how much he was moving me. But the nipples of my breasts immediately became hard and a pulsing sensation concentrated in the middle of my legs, leaving me totally bewildered.

" Is something wrong? " Murilo asked.

Murilo turned to face him and stared at me with a serious expression that made me even more embarrassed for what I was feeling, even after he had brought me to climax twice the night before and when we weren't sure if it would be safe for the baby.

" No " was my monosyllabic response.

" Then why do I feel that you have suddenly become tense? " he confronted me.

" Just the worries that you know are plaguing me " That explanation was not entirely untrue.

"I don't want you to worry so much.”

Murilo held my chin, looking at me with visible affection, and I felt a little guilty at that moment, for not living up to everything he expected of me.

" It won't be good for the baby," he added.

It made me instantly upset because he always makes a point of putting pregnancy in the middle of everything as if his only concern was for the welfare of his child and I didn't really matter in that situation.

I tried to disentangle myself from him, willing to get out of bed and start my day like any other, but he wouldn't let me leave the position we were in, lying facing each other and him holding my chin, now firmly, trying to keep me in the same place.

" Every time I talk about our son I notice that you get upset, when I see no reason for it, Virginia," He said in a harder tone "I care about you, and I care about our son, and I've told you this on several occasions. All I want most of all is to take care of you and the baby.”

" I don't need anyone to take care of me, Murilo " I made a point of making it clear "I can take care of myself and I don't depend on you to be able to raise this child.”

This time I didn't accept that he continued to hold me and I managed to get out of bed, as I wished. But this was totally inconsequential, I soon realized, for just as quickly as I managed to stand up beside the bed, dizziness came over me and I couldn't hold on, and as luck would have it, I collapsed on the bed.