18

“This is not what I meant!” I giggle and wrap my arms around his neck to snuggle in, liking this new height and position as I get to trace that sexy jaw and gaze at the most beautiful profile of a male I have ever known. Colton smiles and scales the stairs faster, getting us up to the landing and next three flights in super quick time.

Sierra resides on the far end of the building in her own rooms and we put her somewhere quiet and cozy where she could watch over the village from her own balcony every day. We didn’t want her to feel alone up here so we made sure she has around the clock presence in the form of waiting femmes who tend to her every need.

Sierra is already at the table by the balcony doors when we stroll in, overlooking the forest side of the homestead, into the dense darkness that is framed by the distant mountains. So many memories of being out there alone every time I see the view from up here that it fully silences my previous train of thought and Colton drops me on my feet as we come to sit with her. Knowing our topic is over as Sierra wouldn’t be too pleased knowing we were talking about matchmaking her.

“Hey, Mom, What’s for dinner.” Colton reverts to boy whenever in the presence of his mom and slides around beside her, leaning in to kiss her on the temple before pulling out a chair for me. He nestles me on her side then he sits by me, so he faces her.

“The kitchen has made Steak Diane with all the trimmings. Hope you’re hungry.” She smiles softly, that face beaming with maternal love for her two teens. I know she isn’t my mom but sometimes I feel like she loves me as though she is and I’m rather partial to her too.

“Famished.” I smile softly and pat her on the hand, our usual gesture of affection which has become the norm. Sierra smiles brightly and we all settle in.

“I went and seen Tawna as you asked today, it was ….. emotional” Sierra brings my eye to hers, a faraway look and a glaze of moisture as she says it and I focus intently on the waves of sadness she starts to expel. Sometime sit’s a curse to feel others this way and while I’m tired, I have no energy for it.

“How did it go?” Colton cuts in, sensing her somber mood at the mention of the woman’s name. He must be picking it up from my emotions, given we share.

“It was nice to see her again but…. Tawna is broken, her heart is in pain and she kept talking as though she had to pay some sort of retribution for her mate’s part in the past. I don’t know. She made very little sense, and, in the end, I had Dr Miago come up and give her some sedatives and pills to help ease her distress. Carmen says she has been this way since the memories made it to the mountain.” Sierra moves t place her napkin on her lap and we both do the same, being very civilized at mealtimes nowadays. Having a mom figure has improved our table manners anyway.

“Do you think she will improve in time? With care and maybe some talking therapy with Anya.” I ask as food servers enter the room quickly and begin laying out starter dishes in front of us. Some simple melon and ham preceding our main and it all looks and smells amazing so much so that my mouth waters instantly with ravenous hunger. We fall quiet as they set about the task of filling our water glasses and placing salad on the table before receding quickly.

Anya is the Shamans mate, and she is what most consider the therapist of the pack. She has way of talking things out and helping straighten thoughts and feelings. I always suspected she has a mild ability to manipulate emotions short term but as she only uses it for good, I have never thought to ask her about it.

“I think she feels responsible for not swaying her mate from his path years ago. And now, she doesn’t know how to be the force in his life a mate is meant to be.” Sierra is unusually low in mood, her whole vibe deflated, and I can tell that she’s summarizing what must have been a painful visit between her and Tawna.

“Doesn’t she understand that a mate can only influence gently and not dictate someone’s choices… she did nothing wrong, especially as she didn’t know.” I add with a sigh. Feeling for Tawna and her state of unhappiness. Knowing that at the end of the day, mates are not held responsible for their partners choices in life. We all have the proof sitting right here with us. Sierra and Juan couldn’t be anymore different on the scale of opposites if they tried and she had zero sway over him.

“Tawna was always such a gentle and easy going, almost submissive type. She needed a mate who handled her gently and nurtured her loving heart. What she got was a cold-hearted brute who neglected her and locked her in that house, never to be part of his life or decisions. He’s no better than Juan and I pointed this out to her. I never had any control of Juan’s actions and she never had control of his. She needs to be stronger for Carmen, for without her the girl is alone. Carmen is the only thing I think which is keeping her going.” Sierra pulls at her plate and then discards it quickly as though she’s lost her appetite and Colton catches it with that observant eye. Her tone was tight and even I can sense an emotion she’s trying to shield.

“There’s something you’re not saying.” He points out and Sierra flickers to look at the table almost guilty. She sighs heavily and rests her palms flat on the table as though bracing herself and locks an eye on me this time. She pauses to think, sighs slowly and then smiles somewhat sadly.

“I sensed…. or …we have something called moment of sight. That’s when a touch, or conversation, or even a strong emotion, gives us a flicker of a moment. Almost like a blink that you don’t quite catch but it instills a strong feeling that you can’t shake. Almost like a premonition in a way.” She explains to me and I catch Colton nodding at my side. I know he has experienced it as he told me so before.

“And you had this with her?” I ask, as Colton stills and watches her steadily. He falls quiet as he ponders it and the glances passing between mother and son make me uneasy. Sometimes they do still have this silent way of communicating that I guess is borne from being mother and child.

“I had the strong overwhelming sense that Tawna wishes harm upon herself to remove Enzo from Juan’s side. Maybe she thinks without his Beta it will weaken his stance on the mountain.” She looks away to the window and that flicker of pain makes it drive home that she is certain of this.

“You’re talking suicide? Wolves don’t do that…. It’s impossible for us to do harm to ourselves that results in death. Our wolf form kicks in and heals us instinctively, without our permission. It’s not exactly easy to find a way that a wolf can’t save.” Colton leans in, seems none of us can eat when this is the topic and I frown heavily, my stomach churning with the topic.

I’ve never heard of a wolf taking their own life, ever. It’s unheard of as we can heal from most things naturally with a turn, even mental health. Tawna is rare if depression is overtaking her and not healing, and I wonder if she is pure wolf at all. The Shaman has been studying the grimoires under the house and he has mentioned that half breeds can sometimes cause flaws in the wolf DNA. Maybe Tawna isn’t as pure as her mate thought. Another spew of secrets that the Santo bloodline has hidden for generations.